Without a doubt, the greatest movie ever made is Martin Scorsese’s Gangs of New York. One of my favorite scenes is when Jenny (Cameron Diaz) ventures into the rich part of down to rob the affluent blind while dressed as a maid — a practice referred to as being a “turtle dove” in the film. As she pickpockets a flirtatious man’s wallet before getting off at her stop, he begins to get forward with her, asking if he may speak but trying to not be too ambitious with his remarks.

JENNY: I might like, sir. But I can’t say now.
MAN: Why?
JENNY: Because this is my stop.
MAN: May I walk with you a little, then?
JENNY (firmly): That — would be too bold.

At that point, Jenny exits and proceeds to rob countless New York City mansions blind. Absolutely classic. Now, think of today’s post the same way. We are going to be seriously bold, but we won’t be breaking bread with strangers. This is our Opening Day. Our chance to be the turtle dove and rob our leagues like none other. Be daring, but on your own accord. As long as no one recognizes you or gets wind of your plan, we’re in the clear. Luckily, the five players we’ll break down with bold predictions are former college starts turned MLB youngsters still waiting to make a name for themselves in The Show. Many are sleeping on them, but not us. Not today.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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See all of today’s starting lineups

# MLB Starting Lineups For Mon 8/4
ARI | ATL | BAL | BOS | CHC | CIN | CLE | COL | DET | HOU | KC | LAA | LAD | MIA | MIL | MIN | NYM | NYY | PHI | PIT | SD | SF | STL | TB | TEX | TOR | ATH | CHW | OAK | SEA | WSH

After months of waiting, months of draft prep, many, many drafts, it is finally time for baseball. We got a brief taste with the World Baseball Classic but now our fantasy teams come front and center. You could sit down at 10AM (PST) and not leave the couch until 10PM, filling your entire day with non-stop baseball. If that doesn’t excite you then well, I’m not really sure what to tell you. This is the moment you’ve all been training for. Look, I get it, draft season is great and super exciting but now the real fun begins, There’s an old fantasy adage that you don’t win your league at the draft and I am a firm believer in that. The waiver wire is a key component of the quest for a title. So who should you be eyeballing as the season kicks off?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Donkey Teeth and I drafted this past weekend in Vegas for the NFBC Main Event, and we had one plan — no plans! But, see, Donkey Teeth heard no “pants.” Well, that aside, we were back at it after our, I wanna say, 10th place finish last year. I blocked it out after the 2nd month of rostering Jose Berrios. Hey, Jose, buy me a drink first before screwing me! Never the hoo! Donkey and I never let a little thing like “doing well” stopping us from plopping down seventeen-hundred smackeroos and taking on the best the industry has to offer. Here we are five minutes after sitting down and realizing we the only ones making this a Draftquiri Happy Hour.

For those unfamiliar, it’s a 15-team, two-catcher, 5×5, 30-round league. There’s an overall prize of a lot of money and a big-but-slightly-smaller league prize, but let’s win the league first before worrying about that. There’s a $1000 FAAB for waivers in-season, and no pre-draft hypnotism is allowed, which makes me buying that old-timey watch with a long chain fob sorta pointless, but oh well. Anyway, here’s our NFBC Main Event draft recap:

Psyche! Just wanted to announce the Streamonator and Hittertron are running with all of the first weekend projections. LFG100! Anyway II, the draft recap:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

‘‘Twas the night before baseball,

and all through the league,

the pitchers were feeling forearm fatigue. 

Opening week really is the most wonderful time of the baseball year. 

If you can find just the right angle, watching roster decisions trickle in feels like a magic eye picture slowly morphing into focus.

On the other hand, that leads to days of fuzzy weirdness, like the Rockies demoting Michael Toglia or the Orioles leaving Grayson Rodriguez in the minors. Christopher Morel is not in the major leagues anymore? Did I really see that?  

Please, blog, may I have some more?