Look, I’m all about facts here.  I have my sources *googles Shelby Miller‘s favorite ice cream…finds nothing…looks under google images…randomly finds naked women…stops writing for a while to do further research*  Well, looks like my sources failed me.  I can’t verify anything about Miller’s cold dessert of choice but I can verify some other, more factually laden and potentially more useful sets of data.  Like for example, Shelby enjoys his friendly confines where he goes from a 6.56 K/9 on the road to a lovely 9 per at home.  To no one’s surprise, this shaves about a run off his road ERA down to a ace-like 2.01 in Atlanta.  But of course, that’s only half the math.  The other?  The Rockies and their road woes just never seem to go away as they rank 3rd worst in wRC+ at 81 and a second worst K% at 24.2%.  To make matters worse, Colorado might be without Carlos Gonzalez and are already sitting at the bottom in wRC+ in the month of August.  They tell you not to kick someone when they’re already down but I’m out here offering you metal-toed boots and I’m paying the ref to look away.  That’s the kind of service you get with a $9,500 price tag.  I wouldn’t call him a deal, per se, but I would call him a high upside buy as your SP1 on a day where it gets ugly quick past the top end plays.  But enough about my high school prom options, let’s get on with it.  Here’s my cayenne ice cream hot takes for this Wednesday DK slate…

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David Price, SP: $11,300 – The top end plays today are just excellent but that just means I’m going to look at the one that probably goes under owned by comparison.  The Rangers still suffer from ‘suxagainstleftitus’ which has no cure other than getting good right-handed bats in your lineup.  Hrm, Mike Napoli?  Eh…Chris Archer will be the play but David Price will be your side piece bae.

Gio Gonzalez, SP: $7,500 – Because of a late shuffling of the deck, Gio starts instead of Mad Max so I’m here doing a mad typing to make sure I get him in there.  Much like the Rangers, the Padres have been worthless against lefties all year.  I wouldn’t look to Gio in cash but for a GPP play, he’s got all the stats behind him…well, minus his own stats but you get what I’m saying.

Patrick Corbin, SP: $7,500 – I keep telling myself ‘never again’ with him until next year but he keeps getting matchups that make sense on paper.  The Cardinals sit near the bottom in wRC+ and K% against lefties on the year and Corbin is such a thing.  He’s also pitching like a thing that’s four letters that you shout when you watch your SP2 drop a -15 points so this is strictly a GPP play only.

Colby Lewis, SP: $7,400 – The Toronto offense is vaunted, you say.  It’s impeccable, you scoff.  It’s unbeatable, you denounce.  It’s also right hand heavy and Lewis has neutralized righties on the year with a 22.7% K rate vs them to go along with a minuscule 3.7% BB rate.  We’re still talking GPP play here, though, so don’t you go sneaking some Colby Jack into your cash sandwich.  That’s just gross.  Who eats cash?

Kyle Hendricks, SP: $7,200 – His numbers against lefties on the road is usually a sticking point for me to not go near him but since no one outside of enlarged cranium Bonds hits bombs from the left side at AT&T, Hendricks feels like a potential safe play in an oasis of scary.

Yohan Flande, SP: $4,400 – If ya can’t tell from the suggestions, it’s a day to pay up for pitching.  The Braves offense has been somewhere between a fat donkey and Nicki Minaj which is to say no matter how you look at it, it’s been a lot of ass.  You can’t take that musically or physically with Nicki, it’s accurate.  But more back on Flande…he did just shut down the Nats in Coors and could find find himself getting to say ‘You Don’t Mess With the Yohan’ to this messy Atlanta lineup.

James McCann, C: $2,700 – It’s catcher and though I could see paying for Buster Posey at his going price, I’ll look to punt if and when I can…or where I McCann if you prefer the pun.  Though it’s only over 84 total career ABs, James has been a boss against lefties so far with a .321 average and 3 HRs to go with a .226 ISO and a 152 wRC+.  Plenty of Tigers in play today with Miguel Cabrera and J.D. Martinez taking my eagle eye attention with a hint of interest in Nick Castellanos on the side.

Edwin Encarnacion, 1B: $4,600 – Yes, yes, I did suggest Colby Lewis and now I’m suggesting an opposing batter.  Toldja it was a day I’m paying up for pitcher, what more could you need?  Colby doesn’t hold back and challenges opposing hitters in the zone which has led to a 1.49 HR/9 vs righty bats on the year.  Edwin has been on a tear and I’m all about double E’s.

Adam Lind, 1B: $3,600 – Adam gets to face Cody Anderson.  Who’s that you ask?  Doesn’t matter, he’ll be gone and forgotten long before you need to care about him other than picking bats against him as he has a .458 wOBA against lefties at home in his short career.  Though the sample size be small, the 3.75 K/9 over 48 IP be big…er small as well.  Smaller?  Whatevs.  A Milwaukee stack could be the thing to push you over the top today.  If you wanna just stick to the lefties, you can look to Shane Peterson and Scooter Gennett but if you wanna go full bore, Domingo Santana, Ryan Braun, and Khris Davis are intriguing.

Jason Kipnis, 2B: $4,200 – I believe in the Jimmy Nelson resurgence and stand behind him in season long but it’s not a day I wanna own him for daily or seasonal.  Though he’s pitched much better in the second half and I do very much lurve him, I can’t bring myself to start him against a surging Indians offense, especially when you consider his .368 wOBA against lefties on the year.  An Indians stack isn’t warranted but I’d also consider Michael Brantley here.

Justin Turner, 2B/3B: $3,700 – Holmberg should and will be a favorite target on this slate and for good reason: he’s terrible.  If I’m selectively stacking, I’ll look to Turner and Yasiel Puig here with maybe a sprinkling of Enrique Hernandez if he bats high enough.

Andres Blanco, 3B/SS: $2,300 – If you haven’t been enjoying the White Andres, you haven’t been living.  With Bartolo on the mound, I’m more than willing to consider a full Philly stack but at the very least, I’m getting in on Andres for cash games or for cheap help for my lineup.

Denard Span, OF, $4,200 – Though I’d love a lower price, Tyson Ross will be on the mound and dutifully ignoring any base stealer he puts on.  Span gets a walk, steals 2nd and 3rd and then scores, you ain’t got no problems at this price.  And before you say it, blow your double negatives out your Nicki Minaj.

Adam Eaton, OF: $3,700 – I haven’t forgotten how bad Rick Porcello has been, it’s just there aren’t many left handed bats from the White Sox to attack him with.  Adam Eaton could become Adam Eatin’ in a hurry.  Don’t get it?  It’s a meme, son.  Get with the times.

David Peralta, OF: $3,300 – Do I still believe?  That’s a trick question, I didn’t believe to begin with.  What I do believe is he had 14 DK points his last time out and 16 prior to that.  He sits against lefties and has gone through a cold streak…or have the regression fairies paid him a visit?  Inquiring minds would like to know!  Eh, at this price, I like the cheap chance for a HR in a good hitter’s park.

I’m Only Happy When It Rains

The only threat of wet just happens to be in places with a roof over their head.  It’s been really nice keeping this section to one or two sentences, yeah?

Doing Lines In Vegas

The king of line mountain goes to Chris Sale with a -200 for him and in the battle of Sox colors.  Why didn’t I talk about him above?  Well, he’s overpriced and goes up against a hot hitting team in a hitter friendly park.  He could K 10 or 12 and still not return price.  Sorry, just ain’t for me today unless everyone says the same thing, then I’m GPP intrigued.  Behind him we have Archer coming in at -195 at home and then Price at -180 on the road.  It’s good to see the Vegas love for David despite not being the home pitcher but the half run bump up to 8.5 does make me crinkle my nose a bit.  With Carlos Carrasco going on the DL, I’m going to be heavily watching the CLEvsMIL run line and overall line today.  Currently, the Indians sit at -136 so if I see that line waiver, come to me all Brewers bats.  There are three games that sit at a high of 8.5: PHIvsNYM, TEXvsTOR, and DETvsLAA.  Sprinkling in some bats from all three that make sound financial sense could do you some good.

  1. J-FOH says:
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    never search for reddicks favorite cake

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Other cakes to never search for:

      Brent Grimes Birthday Cake

      Cake Farts

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        Cake Boss, just because Buddy is annoying

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          Holly loves that show. We bought a ‘Carlo’s Bakery’ coffee mug when in Vegas. I don’t know anything about it, honestly. You guys and your cooking shows…

          • Grey

            Grey says:
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            You went and stood in line at the Palazzo?

            • J-FOH says:
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              I can’t imagine Sky in Vegas, that’s like that kids movie when the mouse goes to the big city for the first time

              • Grey

                Grey says:
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                I can’t imagine Sky being confronted with the prices in Vegas…”$15 for an ice cream cone?!”

                • Sky

                  Sky says:
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                  That was ridiculous! We ate off the strip as much as possible and played penny slots!

                  • Grey

                    Grey says:
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                    Yeah, it’s kinda appalling… Cougs gets deals thru her family on rooms and it’s like, “Cool, a $200 per night room! Dot dot dot Did I just spend $35 on a hot dog?”

                    • J-FOH says:
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                      I know Ive said it before, but when I go to Vegas I eat at either the coffee shop aty Ballys or the Golden Nugget. Actually some of the old guys I play poker with told me about this buffett wrist band you can buy. It gives you unlimited buffets at over 25 spots and its good for 24 hours. You and your tapeworm will be heaven Grey

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      HA! A buffet VIP wristband…Only you Hate…

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Ha! I have went and can say I’ve went and don’t plan on going ever again. It’s not the part of gambling I like so I have zero draw to go spend big money to have things constantly blinding me with bright lights while I do it.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Ha, yeah, I hear ya…I like gambling, prolly too much, which is why I only limit myself to once a year, and don’t DFS

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      If you got into playing baseball DFS, you’d be giving hand jobs behind the 7-11 in about a week for cash.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      I do that anyway for cylinder hamburgers

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      pull cylinder meat, get cylinder meat…makes sense

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Circle of life

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Circle (Jerk) of life

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Ha, nice…I mean, ew…I mean, nice…I mean…

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      ‘When we asked Rafiki to show everyone his Simba, this is not what we wanted!’

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      He shot a lion in his pants, not meaning that like Groucho Marx

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      I now have Katy Perry singing ‘hear me roar’ in my head because of this. It’s the only line I’ve heard from that song and now it’s stuck. Get it out!

                    • J-FOH says:
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                      hey Grey, I know you. Funny is Im not a big fan of buffets…oh who am I lying, I love them, it’s my colon that hates them

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      I don’t like buffets usually, but Vegas buffets are kinda badass…

                    • J-FOH says:
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                      it’s like you wouldn’t want to be in an orgy in Iowa but if you were in Miami then hell’s to the yes…okay that is the weirdest analogy ever

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Yup, I followed that and agreed

                    • J-FOH says:
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                      we so need to do spring training in Florida for 2017

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Where are we in 2016?

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Yeah, that would be sweet

                    • J-FOH says:
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                      hopefully AZ, I’ve already started a fund

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      To enjoy Florida, we’d have to drive like 4 hours a day to catch different teams/games. Hate to be the Debbie Downer here but Grapefruit league kinda sucks.

                    • J-FOH says:
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                      who said anything about going to games, I was thinking of staying in Miami the whole time and hoping to catch one on the TV at a bar…near the beach….with women around us in skimpy bikinis

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      So you’re leaving California to do this…why?

                    • J-FOH says:
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                      Ive seen all the california ass, and thanks to porn hub am convinced that every girl in Miami is in the industry

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      I think you can work one out to ‘Spring Breakers’ on your own time and just make Arizona again in 2017, then.

              • Sky

                Sky says:
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                I lived in Seoul for a year and a half!

                • J-FOH says:
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                  @Sky: urban Korea aint Vegas

                  • Sky

                    Sky says:
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                    There aren’t many guys half naked dressed as cupid, no, but I live in Eugene. That’s on every corner downtown. #Oldhat

                    • J-FOH says:
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                      Yes! downtown Eugene was a trip. The tent city and the public urination is really too much for me.

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Vegas couldn’t shock me, I have been worn in by the 99%

                    • J-FOH says:
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                      I kinda miss my trip to Oregon. If I can land this big account I’m going after you might be seeing me again. The football game was awesome, I just want to do shout between the 3rd and 4th quarter again. This time with more alcohol in my system.

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Ha, well we’ll see about tickets. Got them for free last time. Maybe just enjoy some bar time fun and cheaper beer then.

                    • J-FOH says:
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                      I dont mind paying for tickets, if anything its all about finding better food. Cant live off voodoo donuts

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Ha, I did not make that your staple diet.

                    • J-FOH says:
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                      Ive had a few donut problems in my past

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      If they ain’t old-fashion and non-glazed, I have zero concern for them.

                    • J-FOH says:
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                      I love the old fashioned and the buttermilk bars but it is damn hard work to find a place that has them non glazed and good.

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Agreed. Used to live next to one in West Eugene but I ain’t driving there on a Saturday morning for a donut. I make due with a walnut chewie and some dutch

                    • J-FOH says:
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                      how could I forget Dutch when I said I missed Eugene. I want to franchise those all over so cal, now I need to go make some coffee

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      You have to work at one for 2 years before you can own a franchise which is crazy to me. Every single worker I see in one is like 22. Who has the start up scratch at 22 to do that after 2 years of those wages?

                    • J-FOH says:
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                      @Sky: they are no where near me. So bummed, I would have to go so far north to get a cup of coffee

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      And yet so worth it!

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Sky: just keep in mind that cake is code for ass…thank you instagram

  2. Teddy Heater says:
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    Sky! I’m feeling Miller, Price and I might sprinkle in a little Sale on the side. I’m making a batty call on Morse today 6/9 and 3 bombs vs Narveson and at $2,500 I can throw him in the OF with Melky & Puig. Blanco has been very Cesar Hern-esk, cheap with solid numbers, I also like Aybar for $2,800, he’s heating up and batting 5th. I’m torn again with Corbin too, especially after getting burned by no show Ray on Monday and then again by Ray when he actually did pitch last night. Hopefully Corbin is rested after his 2ing performance last time out.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Yeah, Corbin I’m only rolling if I multi-LU tonight. TJS guys man…I could get behind Aybar, hard not to like that call. There are a lot of good, cheap bats tonight, makes building a LU easy. Not sure why I didn’t mention Smoak when writing up E5. Rolling with him at 1st could pay huge

      • Teddy Heater says:
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        @Sky: I peeked at Smoke earlier, but wasn’t sure if he’d be starting and he is batting 5th. There are a good amount of cheap bats against weak pitching vs cheap bats against great pitching

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          Yeah, I’m taking my 15 minute break to reconfigure some things. Have Cuddy in the OF. Think the Mets keep rolling today.

          • Teddy Heater says:
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            @Sky: Here’s the 2 i’m rolling out for tourney

            Price
            Sale
            Norris
            Hosmer
            Sanchez
            Hechavarria
            Aybar
            Melky
            Puig
            Morse

            Archer
            Miller
            Schwarber ($200 more than Buster)
            Lind
            Gennett
            Turner
            Blanco
            Span
            Eaton
            Cuddyer

            • Sky

              Sky says:
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              Looks really solid for today’s slate. Paying up for Hech probably not for me but in a tourney, he’ll be beyond low owned at that price. I’d probably go Galvis there.

              No time for multi LUs today, going Miller/Price/McCann/Smoak/Gennett/Miggy/Blanco/Cuddy/Brantley/Bautista

              • Teddy Heater says:
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                @Sky: I had Galvis slotted in there and switched it because I had $500 extra due to Beckham not starting against Porcello. Miggy is back to being Miggy!

                • Sky

                  Sky says:
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                  Gotcha…and yes, Miggy is back! Seems like he has a 3 hit game every time out. $5K+ for a hitter was meant for a guy like him.

                  • Teddy Heater says:
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                    @Sky: Mets are rolling! Miller out of bases loaded jam with no outs!!

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      One bad inning from Shelby and I go from looking at 170 or so down to looking at 140. *Shakes fist at DFS Gods*

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