Are the Red Sox grasping at proverbial straws here?  I mean, let’s go to the waiver wire in real life… Grab a reliever, Jean Machi, that has three career saves, and let’s say we’ll think about him being the closer for our team.  It sounds weird and crazy, but then you look at the Sawx record (it’s the worst in the AL by the way), and realize maybe it’s not such a far fetched idea.  Hanley Ramirez has nine freaking doubles all year. NINE!  I just hit four at Fenway the other day, until I realized they were hamburgers.  Okay, back to closers.  So the Red Sox, with the loss of Koji Uehara to the DL, will turn to just about anyone to see if they can close the 8-10 chances they will get the rest of the year.  The front runners are Junichi Tazawa (has 4 blown saves in the last 30 days) and Jean Machi, and the sleeper candidate is the former All-Star closer Ryan Cook.  Who in himself was traded for that spectacular fantasy asset: PTBNL.  The situations for closers is getting bleaker with the bad teams losing actual options and not having a genuine fall-back option that you could tie your waiver wire dollars too.  Best advice is don’t chance saves from all these guys, it will nuke your numbers elsewhere.  Concede that you will only get seven points from saves instead of nine. Friends don’t let friends drive drunk while texting or making waiver claims.

  • In a weird but true stat, there are 22 closers on pace for 30 plus saves this year. In my research, there have never been more than 19 to do it in one year.
  • Speculating on a dynasty closer, look at Corey Knebel‘s numbers for the Brewers. He has a propensity for the tater, but K-wise and stuff, he is right there.
  • I am glad the Cubs settled on Rondon, he was the right choice to start the year and by hook or by crook, Maddon went back the way he came.  In last 30 games, he’s pitched towards 7 saves, with an ERA under a buck and a K rate north of 10.

 

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Every time you go there, you have a thoroughly solid meal. No complaints, except you just paid $12 for a salad when you could’ve went to McDonald’s and stuffed you and your woman for ten schmools and had $2 in quarters left over to make the hotel bed vibrate. These closers are $12 salads.

1. Aroldis Chapman – (J.J. Hoover, Jumbo Diaz)

2. Kenley Jansen — (Jim Johnson. Pedro Baez)

3. Greg Holland– (Wade Davis, Kelvin Herrera)

4. Craig Kimbrel – (Joaquin Benoit, Shawn Kelley)

5. Trevor Rosenthal – (Kevin Siegrist, Jonathan Broxton)

6. Andrew Miller– (Dellin BetancesJustin Wilson)

7. Mark Melancon — (Joakim SoriaTony Watson)

8. Jonathan Papelbon – (Drew StorenCasey Janssen)

9. Huston Street – (Joe Smith, Trevor Gott)

 

Donkeycorns

Imagine you’re following a donkey, who’s wearing a wool cap, through a desert for 1700 miles. Why are you following a donkey? Because he promises you something wonderful and you just need to trust him. Does the donkey talk? Yes. Yes, he does talk. So when you and the donkey in the wool cap arrive at his destination, he removes the wool cap to reveal a horn. The donkey is a unicorn and his gift to you for your trust is saves. These closers are Donkeycorns.

10. Glen Perkins – (Kevin Jepsen, Trevor May, Blaine Boyer)

11. David Robertson – (Nate Jones, Zach Duke)

12. Zach Britton – (Darren O’Day, Brad Brach)

13. Cody Allen – (Bryan Shaw, Zach McAllister)

14. Jeurys Familia – (Tyler ClippardBobby Parnell)

15. Francisco Rodriguez, (Will Smith, Jeremy Jeffress)

16. Ken Giles– (Luis Garcia, Justin de Fratus)

17. Hector Rondon  (Jason Motte, Pedro Strop, Rafael Soriano)

18. Santiago Casilla – (Sergio Romo, Hunter Strickland)

19. A.J. Ramos – (Mike Dunn, Bryan Morris)

20. Brad Ziegler –  (Daniel Hudson, Andrew Chafin)

21. Shawn Tolleson – (Keone Kela, Sam Dyson)

22. Roberto Osuna – (LaTroy Hawkins, Aaron SanchezBrett Cecil)

 

Employed

These guys are the men that make the save market go round. They punch in, punch out. Have the job, no real threat to speak of, and are basically just there to collect great benny’s so they can take care of their crippled brother. Who is only really crippled because he is scared of the sun.

23. Luke Gregerson – (Pat Neshek, Josh Fields)

24. Brad Boxberger – (Jake McGee, Xavier Cedeno)

25. Carson Smith – (Fernando Rodney, Tom Wilhelmsen)

 

 

Brain Freezes

I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing apples, bananas and Carlos Marmol– Wait, he just gave up 12 earned runs and hit Castro in the head with a pick-off throw. Brain freeze! Make it stop! Use the following closers at your own risk.

 

26.Tommy Kahnle – (Justin Miller, Rafael Betancourt, John Axford)

27. Arodys Vizcaino – (David Aardsma, Andrew McKirahan)

28. Bruce Rondon – (Alex Wilson, Al Alburquerque)

29. Junichi Tazawa – (Jean Machi, Ryan Cook)

30. Edward Mujica /  Evan Scribner / Drew Pomeranz / Eric O’Flaherty

 
  1. Clint says:
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    Totally agree on these shituational closers. I have all the Brain Freezes except for Kahnle (or did) and now I find myself begging for Doolittle to come back until I can figure out who’s droppable amongst my Wilson/Rondon & Machi/Tazawa combo meals. Luckily, I have better options carrying my team (Paps, Allen, Giles) so these guys are just a late season push to move up in the category for me in roto.

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
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      @Clint: good luck every one counts if you know how to count.

  2. Sam says:
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    Drop Beltre for Bruce Rondon? I have Machado, Sano, and Franco ahead of him (both for recent performance and keeper purposes)?

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
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      @Sam: plenty of depth iof your chasing saves more than hitting categories I don’t see a problem with it

  3. Aaron says:
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    So we’re going with Bruce Rondon in Detroit then?

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
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      @Aaron: Seems that way, I think that’s what they wanted. I think Joe Nathan gave him the pat on the back haha

  4. goodfold2 says:
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    from last time, yeah i got sherfy, and you really think those other two, A.House OAK and Z.Weiss CIN are more likely to eventually be closers? Good knowledge dropping here as those guys can’t even be found in top 20 lists (which are clearly months old by now), nor in BA’s top 30’s. also, if sherfy ends up a top notch holds guy that’s probably at least as close to same value as this is for holds league. it’s odd really that he was still around considering some of those other lower ranked ARI bullpen guys were gone already.

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
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      @goodfold2: for straight closer I like the other two, but you have a good pointy with him being a Holds guy.Let me know if you need any other guys, did the other guys with the initials i gave you get snagged up

  5. Timmah R says:
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    Great write up as always… I am just curious but why is Osuna ranked so low on the illustrious Donkeycorn list? He’s been awesome and is on TOR while Allen’s been a royal PITA and some others above him are not fairing any better (personal stats / suckier teams).

    Thanks for any feedback! Not trying to beat on your list but now you’ve got me questioning having Osuna when I could pick up Allen, Tolleson, Giles, Rondon… thanks again!

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
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      @Timmah R: I like Osuna just the lack of save opportunities for a high scoring team aren’t there like other bad record wise teams. Hector Rondon?

      • Timmah R says:
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        @Smokey: I guess that makes sense. yes, Hector Rondon :-)

        • Smokey

          Smokey says:
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          @Timmah R: I might surf the closer wave and stream if all those are avail

  6. greg says:
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    My closers are Giles, Tolleson, and Vizcaino. Not bad since I lost Grilli and traded Familia….

    My team: C, Gomes, 1b, Paulsen (Miggy), 2b Odor/CesarH, 3b Franco/Sano SS: Sano/Desmond, OF: Betts, Yellich, Eaton, Hicks. DL Springer
    SP: DeGrom, Kluber, Archer, Carrasco, Corbin, Erasmo, DL: JoeFer

    Assuming I can claim him, who would you drop for Bruce Rondon?

    Gracias.

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
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      @greg: If you can start 4 relievers I would drop Erasmo

  7. Sideshow27 says:
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    FRod isn’t a possible option in Oakland?

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
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      @Sideshow27: one day he is the next three he isn’t. The Oak situation is not one to chase, seek save refuge elsewhere

  8. PhillyYorker says:
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    Machi, B. Rondon or VIzcaino?

  9. goodfold2 says:
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    ZC i found, and he’s unowned still, but of the 19 pitchers with S as their last name i couldn’t find even one with N, of course maybe you meant some other team or maybe fantrax is possibly missing somebody, go ahead and name NS here.

    • goodfold2 says:
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      @goodfold2: that is 19 pitchers at ARI with S as their last name but none with N as the first. i should’ve put this above where context is obvious.

  10. SF says:
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    Losing Grilli and Uehara is rough. Thinking of punting saves at this point and just focusing on Holds and K/9.

    Ugh. Grasping for straws here now after losing a bunch of closers either via injury or trade. (I own Soria)

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
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      @SF: that’s always an option. Let me know if you need a tour guide for pickups

  11. McNulty says:
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    what’s the deal in TB? I’m interested in McGee for holds. It seems as if they are playing matchups?

    • Cosart Sucks says:
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      @McNulty: mcgee absolute stud for holds, but in a holds league just how is he available?

      • McNulty says:
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        @Cosart Sucks:

        he seems to be in a holds-saves purgatory, and teams that are out of it are taking gambles on SP as keepers

        • Cosart Sucks says:
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          @McNulty: that last part of the sentence i don’t understand how it relates to mcgee?

  12. Scott says:
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    B Rondon can hurl! After Chapman’s 101 fastest pitches, he has the next fastest pitch out there.

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
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      @Scott: Def a chucker with blossoming closer skills

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