The worst news in terms of closers, especially in a situation like Philadelphia, is the word: committee. I mean, it is kind of like getting free tickets to see the Village People, hell yes they are the Village People. But do you wanna be known for knowing more than two of their songs? Nope, not me. So look at this way, Pat Neshek got the save the other day after Gomez and Mortecia Neris had their turns at the gig. Now this isn’t a Pat on the back (pun intended for Neshek), because it is still a full blooded committee for a team that ranks in the bottom six in all of MLB in saves, save opportunities, and relief appearances with them having the lead. Add all that up and it goes back to what I was spitting a few months ago, are saves really worth the rigmarole of dumpster diving for futility? The problem with that whole “rostering multiple guys for a chance at a save” is all well and good if you are able to roster both or even three guys… and that is the dumbest thing I have ever typed out. Who in here has a Philly reliever let alone three? Show of hands? Yeah, you shouldn’t. So Neshek is worth a grab while they showcase him for trade value, and Neris is a hold because who knows when a last place team tries to keep it real? Let’s hop on the good foot and see what’s going down with the late-gamers…
- Roberto Osuna is desperately waiting for the halfway to St. Patrick’s day celebration, but in the mean time he has been putting Kimbrel’s on people. Seven saves in the last 13 games for the ornithological northerners.
- Anyone into sport fishing? Good, well A.J. Ramos has been reeling in some whopper of saves lately. Five in last six appearances and that is more then he had in his first 17. Confidence is riding high in the albacore free zone of Savedom.
- As Grey alluded to the other day, the funeral procession is set up for Tony Watson. The Felipe Rivero vulture is hovering him and his impressive 0.58 ERA and even better .155 BAA. Yeah, he should have been rostered already but those who make their livings on cuffing cuffs, Hudson and Nicasio are in the ready five position. I still have Watson listed as the closer, because no word has been given as of writing this.
- Craig Kimbrel hit a distinctive mark in his career, he has 276 more strikeouts then base runners allowed. Just think about that stat for a bit, because it’s crazy.
- Ken Giles has allowed runs in his last three of four appearances. Just saying.
- Stand firm Brandon Maurer owners. Four saves since Hand last got one, he is back in the role or roll for the Portuguese fantasy players.
- Yet another set back for Cam Bedrosian. Taps is being played for his fantasy season being a breakout.
- The Mariners, Rangers and Phillies hold the distinction of being the only teams that have more blown saves the actual saves.
- Expanded the Salad menu this week because the cream is set in stone in a lot of places. Plus, we need to shift guys up the table to make it all gel together nicely. Enjoy!
You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Every time you go there, you have a thoroughly solid meal. No complaints, except you just paid $12 for a salad when you could’ve went to McDonald’s and stuffed you and your woman for ten schmools and had $2 in quarters left over to make the hotel bed vibrate. These closers are $12 salads.
Imagine you’re following a donkey, who’s wearing a wool cap, through a desert for 1700 miles. Why are you following a donkey? Because he promises you something wonderful and you just need to trust him. Does the donkey talk? Yes. Yes, he does talk. So when you and the donkey in the wool cap arrive at his destination, he removes the wool cap to reveal a horn. The donkey is a unicorn and his gift to you for your trust is saves. These closers are Donkeycorns.
These guys are the men that make the save market go round. They punch in, punch out. Have the job, no real threat to speak of, and are basically just there to collect great benny’s so they can take care of their crippled brother. Who is only really crippled because he is scared of the sun.
I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing apples, bananas and Carlos Marmol– Wait, he just gave up 12 earned runs and hit Castro in the head with a pick-off throw. Brain freeze! Make it stop! Use the following closers at your own risk.