Really closers…really? It took all of two whole days for the save-nami to wash away all people’s hope and dreams. Maybe this is the end of days, you know the one where Arnold starts crying? Yet he didn’t cry in Commando, and they kidnapped his daughter who happens to be a fantasy fave in Alyssa Milano. Strange, uncontrollable apocalyptic things… tears, only daughter kidnapped… killing people. Well, since every team basically has three games under their belts, is it too early to start analyzing the bullpen situations to date? It kinda is, the patterns aren’t there for me to read, as usage is the first indicator for anything. Second is chafing. So instead of looking at the Holds situations this week (which I will come back to next week, I promise), we will take a look at the situations that are boggling our minds and flooding our rosters with handcuffs and middle relief hopefuls. It’s not an ideal situation for fantasy rosterbating, because it locks up so many bench spots if you are in the ever evolving chase for savedom. So enjoy the snippets, with some of general perspective on the relief corps. And for giggles I have updated the closer ranks to reflect all the trades, injuries and demotions.
In case you’re sick of baseball already, come on over and join me for some Fantasy Premier league action, it so easy all you have to do is click a tab located at the top that says Soccer. Read and enjoy. It’s like a good book that you play with your feet.
- Ahh, the inevitability is cliche. Joe Nathan heads to the DL after a flexor injury. We all assumed it would be for basically pitching like crap. So Joakim Soria takes over as closer for the Tigers, and is in the cat-bird seat for a while, as he has a pretty decent track record and has a great SP staff in front of him. After Soria though, it gets awfully dark so fingers crossed that it ends there.
- The trade of Craig Kimbrel to the Padres has sold me enough that he is now over-taking Roldy. He proved it right by giving the Chavez Ravine crowd an inning that only he can be named after. The move to Diego not only increases his save output potential on the year by 6-8 saves at the minimum, it makes Jay go to Lidz to by all the fresh fathers Camo gear to rock when he plays manhunt in the jungles of VA. [Jay’s Note: He’s not wrong folks.]
- The opposite side of the trade spectrum leaves Jason Grilli as the first waiver wire darling of the year. Or if you are scoring at home, that’s N-51, N-51. The cavalcade of also rand former closers now in ATL is startling as they have Matt Capps, Jim Johnson and I think I saw Robb Nen in there some wheres. Juan Jaime is the sleeper guy here, or even deeper look at Mike Foltynewicz, when the team realizes that a 40-60 record isn’t going to do it. You think his agent is working on a sponsorship deal for Jimmy Johns?
- Across the country the Mets are turning their eyes to Roc-La-Familia to be the saves hound now that Jenrry Mejia is partially broken. Even the India spelling bee champ can’t fathom the spelling of some of these guys first names, I-before-E except after injury. So Familia brings about the same closer potential to the Mets pen minus the fly ball rate, and is merely a band-aid or a farm-aid if you prefer the twangy version, until Bobby Parnell comes back and makes the situation all muddled.
- I am still trying to figure out what Donnie Baseball is doing at the back end of games. Uses Peralta in a tie game, which is sometimes a good play because that is a great time to get the other team out and then score. So that makes sense. The thing that is befuddling is where are the actual guys that you can say, yeah I want that guy on my roster because of this. There aren’t any. Chris Hatcher is still cleaning the puke off himself, bad luck or not. One run, sure you blew it, 4 runs, you blew everyone (granted 2 were unearned). I understand that there is a save chase and the things that are new and could help us are awfully tempting, but there is a line between sane and just dumb. Seek save help elsewhere…draft better or trade. If you need to throw your hat at someone, it still should be Joel Peralta, but don’t turn a blind eye to Yimi Garcia.
- From the nothing to see-here-yet department, Steve Cishek got donkey punched in a meaningless game. I watched every pitch of the appearance and the stuff is there, so the early season location and lack of spirit from it not being a save situation are the answer. I need to see it again to actually start to worry and have A.J. Ramos as my add guy.
You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Every time you go there, you have a thoroughly solid meal. No complaints, except you just paid $12 for a salad when you could’ve went to McDonald’s and stuffed you and your woman for ten schmools and had $2 in quarters left over to make the hotel bed vibrate. These closers are $12 salads.
Imagine you’re following a donkey, who’s wearing a wool cap, through a desert for 1700 miles. Why are you following a donkey? Because he promises you something wonderful and you just need to trust him. Does the donkey talk? Yes. Yes, he does talk. So when you and the donkey in the wool cap arrive at his destination, he removes the wool cap to reveal a horn. The donkey is a unicorn and his gift to you for your trust is saves. These closers are Donkeycorns.
These guys are the men that make the save market go round. They punch in, punch out. Have the job, no real threat to speak of, and are basically just there to collect great benny’s so they can take care of their crippled brother. Who is only really crippled because he is scared of the sun.
I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing apples, bananas and Carlos Marmol– Wait, he just gave up 12 earned runs and hit Castro in the head with a pick-off throw. Brain freeze! Make it stop! Use the following closers at your own risk.
30. Edward Mujica – (Koji Uehara(INJ), Junichi Tazawa)