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Cubs Seiya To Suzukago

March 17, 2022 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 175 Comments

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Lionel Richie, “Say you…

Suzuki, “Seiya…”

All together, “Say it for always…That’s the way it should be!”

And he’s signed by the Cubs! Um, Seiya Suzuki not Lionel Richie, Though, how’s Lionel’s arm? The Cubs could use a starter. “Hello, is it me you’re looking for?” That’s Lionel Richie picking up the bullpen phone. All right, enough giggles, this move’s got me all fired up! Seiya Suzuki just landed in a top five situation. The lineup around him is whatever, but that’s better for him. No way the Cubs pull any nonsense like platooning him or resting him more than he needs. As the new Cubs starter Lionel Richie would say, “We’re going to Party, Karamu, Fiesta, forever!” Also, Wrigley gives Seiya the little extra bang for his power buck that you want to see. Saw him as a 23-29 homer guy. A much bigger range than you want, but he landed in a solid spot that will give him the top-end of his homer range. “I’ve got this feeling down deep in my soul that Seiya just can’t lose!” That’s right, Lionel! Finally, Seiya’s speed was likely five to 12 range. Again, big range, bigger than you want, but he prolly lands on the high-end of that because the Cubs won’t slow him. “Woo-oh, what a feeling (Woo-oh, what a feeling).” I got it too, Lionel! I’ve done a big update on the outfielders rankings and moved Seiya up to the top 40 outfielders for 2022 fantasy baseball, and he’s now on the tail-end of the top 100 for 2022 fantasy baseball. Also, my top 500 for 2022 fantasy baseball has been updated. For a huge breakdown of Seiya, check out Coolwhip’s Seiya Suzuki fantasy. It’s worth the read. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this preseason for 2022 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

2022 Yahoo Fantasy Baseball Rankings Ranklings

March 16, 2022 | Fantasy Baseball Overrated | 166 Comments

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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”951684″ player=”13959″ title=”Rzbl2022%20Busts” duration=”200″ description=”undefined” uploaddate=”2022-02-06″ thumbnailurl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/thumb/951684_t_1644171255.png” contentUrl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/951684.mp4″]

Every year, I put on a David Carradine-limited edition kimono, and walk the earth to ruminate on the perfect place for each player in my fantasy baseball rankings. Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs called me one year, asking if he could film my feet after one of these “walking of the earth” seshs. I declined, because my feet after 8,000 steps (according to my iWatch) on the sands of Redondo Beach are…*shudders*…I stepped on a half-eaten corndog this year. With mustard! And that’s not a euphemism for Paul DeJong. Do the guys from Yahoo Fantasy don a kimono and walk the earth for a full half-an-afternoon like me to do the Yahoo fantasy baseball rankings? Are they stepping on half-eaten corndogs for you? I highly doubt it. “These Yahoo rankings are not Kung Fu!” I scream into the jetty, as I excavate for starfish, which calms me. So, after I kebab multiple starfishes onto a skewer, I sit by an open fire, dining out on nature, and will now compare my 2022 fantasy baseball rankings with 2022 Yahoo fantasy baseball rankings:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Fracture In the Tatis-Space Continuum

March 15, 2022 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 148 Comments

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Fernando Tatis Jr. fractured his wrist and I want to die. Just curl into a ball and bawl. MLB lockout was the butterfly’s wings and Tatis’s wrist is the earthquake in Indonesia. Hope you’re happy Rob Manfred! Fernando Tatis Jr. likely hurt himself on his motorcycle, and it was months ago. Sure, he should’ve been checked out by a doctor for the last three months for the wrist injury, but he just dusted himself off and said, “Oopsie.” If Tatis wasn’t so damn resilient, maybe he would’ve went to the doctor. Stupid, resilient, regenerative Fun The Jewels! If it wasn’t for the lockout, the Padres would’ve insisted Tatis went to see their team doctors, and his wrist would’ve been diagnosed sooner. See, this really is Rob Manfred’s fault! *goes to the beach, digs giant hole, lies down into sand grave, slowly pulls sand down on top of head* I don’t want to go on. Please, let me be. *sobs loudly*

So, Rudy updated Fernando Tatis Jr. with a 75-game dock, and he’s now at 155 overall on his 12-team auction values. I’m down to 103 overall. From the number one spot to 103 overall; I really feel like I’m going to vomit. *drives to Ralph’s supermarket then ralphs* I like to be meta, when possible. What’s kinda funny, in a painful way that isn’t funny at all, I did my adjustments to Tatis without knowing what Rudy was doing, and I have him ranked right next to Kyle Schwarber, as Rudy does, in my top 500 for 2022 fantasy baseball. Of course, I have Schwarber and Tatis higher than Rudy, barely. Also, Rudy has Tatis at 289 ABs (58/23/56/.282/13) and I have him down for 51/17/45/.287/15 in 303 ABs, and we both did our new projections without bouncing them off each other, so we’re both pretty close, which is reassuring in a very sad way. I’m a bit worried about the wrist coming all the way back immediately, but like the idea of his upside when he returns, so I ranked him a bit higher than his stats might warrant. I updated my top 10 for 2022 fantasy baseball; my top 100 for 2022 fantasy baseball and the top 20 shortstops for 2022 fantasy baseball. This all somehow sucks and simultaneously blows. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this preseason for 2022 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Twins Making Progress On “A Trade Per Lake” 2022 Resolution

March 14, 2022 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 139 Comments

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*takes long inhale* You smell that? It’s the glorious smell of actual baseball trades mixed with the mold in your mother’s basement! So, the Twins have more irons in the fire than Tigers Woods’s chimney. Since the Sonny Gray deal was self-contained, let’s start there. Sonny Gray was traded to the Twins. Reds have been rebuilding since their last playoff series win in 1995. “This mean Greene?” asks me and Dr. Seuss. First off (after that negging of the Reds), good on the Twins. Gray (him not me) was at the bottom of his perceived value last year after an unlucky year, and, well, you can read about all that at the top 60 starters for 2022 fantasy baseball. All that was standing between him and an uptick in value was less homers allowed, so what better place than the Hubert H. Homerfree Dome? Kinda bummed I haven’t drafted Gray in multiple leagues already. Where’s the self-love?! As for Hunter Greene, moved him up in top 100 starters for 2022 fantasy baseball, and updated the pitchers pairings tool. Didn’t change his projections because still don’t know how many innings he can throw, but he’s in good shape to see the rotation in the landmark case of sooner vs. later.

Then the busy Twins, sent Mitch Garver to the Rangers for Isiah Kiner-Falefa, more on him in a few. The Rangers just need to make deals, whether they’re good for them or not. During the lockout, the Rangers were pulling on their collar, sweating, screaming, “I need to make a deal, man!” They’re like Pookie from New Jack City and their crack pipe is MLB roster moves. Someone needs an intervention, and that someone’s name is Texas Rangers. Not to mention, I understand Israeli Diner-Falafel is less than desirable for fantasy, but he actually made sense on the Rangers. Have the Rangers heard they lost Josh Jung? The Rangers are like a team that doesn’t draft a 3rd baseman for 15 rounds, saying, “3rd base is deep.” At least if the Rangers were going to send away Israeli Diner-Falafel, they could’ve got back Elijah Colavito-Tabouli. With the trade for Mitch Garver, the Rangers realized Jonah Heim was Superbad. Jonah Heim was removed from the 2022 fantasy baseball rankings — Hey, Jonah Heim, Don’t Look Up your name in the rankings! The top 20 catchers for 2022 fantasy baseball was updated for Mitch Garver (due to a better lineup and worse catcher behind him). That rankings post was also briefly updated for Ryan Jeffers, but the Twins weren’t done.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Rock Out Without Your Lockout

March 11, 2022 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 174 Comments

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*takes flight to Nepal, goes sherpa shopping, finds one that I like, but hears it’s sold out, lowers head, then finds out there happens to one more of the sherpas I want in the back, smiles wide, follows the best sherpa in the world up the side of Mt. Everest, reaches the apex, looks around, and screams*

LET’SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS F*********************** GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Sherpa sticks out hand for payment. Me patting pockets, “Do you take Venmo?”

MLB lockout is over. Can I get an amen? Can I get some amen in stirrups?

So, Opening Day is April 7th, and Spring Training will begin on March 13th. Hey, that’s in two days. I better hurry up! By the time you read this, there might be a flurry of free agent moves. Free agents better flurry up! How long do we have to wait to hear Carlos Correa to the Pirates. Dot dot dot. To help move Ke’Bryan Hayes to the Rays for Brett Phillips and cash considerations.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Manfred-Led Lockout All Because He Has Acuña In A Keeper

March 10, 2022 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 94 Comments

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So, this is bad. Two more weeks without baseball. It’s grim to even think about the MLB Twitter account tweeting about Jackie Robinson Day with no baseball being played. That will be the point when yours truly takes the final steps to becoming The Joker. As you can see, my barista has already peaked into my soul.

Gonna be honest with you, things could become dire at Razzball if we don’t have baseball back until May 1st. Writers get paid; vendors get paid; stats are not free; semi-colons are usually fun; this isn’t fun! It would go a long way towards keeping the lights on if you were to grab a $9.99 ad-free subscription, and, incredibly, that gets rid of ads, which is awesome for you. Win-win! Or more wins than deGrom’s projected for. Allow me to demonstrate:

Amazing, right? One second there’s ads, next second, there’s not. Also, I know so much about Prince Charles, huh? So, grab a $9.99 ad-free subscription, if you have the means, no relation to John.

Also, the 2022 fantasy baseball rankings, I did it. I moved Ronald Acuña Jr. up in my top 10 for 2022 fantasy baseball. What’s the most games he’s going to miss now, 15? That sounds like the same as Fun The Jewels with his shoulder. It’s not a jinx if you know it’s going to happen. I learned that from an eye-patched gypsy that hung out with the Peaky f***ing Blinders. I also updated my top 100 for 2022 fantasy baseball and the top 500 for 2022 fantasy baseball. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this preseason for 2022 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

TGFBI Recap: My Team Is More Stacked Than The Phonebooks On Altuve’s Driver Seat

March 9, 2022 | Our Leagues | 20 Comments

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“Hey, kid, welcome to the bigs! Bigs are what we now call the bags, because they’re big. During the lockout of 2022, in effort to fix the game, MLB started using couch cushions at each base and the frame of the couch as home plate. So, in the bigs, you just collect the cushions as you round the bases and put them in the couch to score at home. See, ‘home’ is already there in the name, and the MLB owners were smart enough to realize that. Plus, it helps them reach a new demographic. Kids love furniture.” Wakes with a sudden jolt. Whoa, I was having a nightmare that MLB was in a lockout, and instead of figuring out the financials for both sides, they were making the bases bigger. That wasn’t a nightmare? Oh, crap, I’m going back to sleep. Though, now I kinda understand Rudy’s hitter projections for Oneil Cruz. He’s 7’4″, so bigger bags means he just needs to make one step towards 1st base, hence Cruz’s projected .282 average. So, the TGFBI is an industry league of ‘perts from all different sites, competing against each other. The league is a 30-round draft, 15-team, mixed league with weekly waivers. Kinda like the Draft Champions, 15-team leagues we do at NFBC. By the way, who wants to do another league? I need to draft to fill this pre-pre-preseason. (If you want to compete against me and a few hundred of your worst frenemies, here’s our Razzball Commenter Leagues signups.) So, here’s my 15-team, mixed league, TGFBI draft recap and some thoughts:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

LABR Recap: Adalberto Mondesi And Bobby Witt Jr. And Everything Else Is A Blur

March 8, 2022 | Our Leagues | 35 Comments

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Hey, what’s up, I’m Grey Albright, a big, big fan of the Kansas City Royals. Born and bred in the Kay Cee — blue fo’eva! I only eat turtle, and by ‘turtle’ I mean meat that is slow and low. When someone mentions Chisholm, I think jazz should be more improvisational and lowercase. I like my Dons named Denkinger and my Steves named Balboni. I was born into a powdered blue blanket and I still use it for rallies. A born and blue Royals man! As of this past Saturday. So, I took part in the LABR, 12-team, mixed auction this past weekend and I built a team revolving around two big Royals players, because I have a screw loose, and I cannot not NOT not love me some upside. Unlike most of my ‘pert league recaps, this might actually help youse because it’s a shallower league. Besides being an auction and two catcher, it’s very similar to our RCL leagues (spots available to take on me and all of your worst frenemies, and win prizes; it’s free — sign up for a Razzball Commenter League under that linkie-ma-whosie.) Anyway, here’s my LABR 12-team, mixed league draft recap:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Major Lockout Bummer

March 7, 2022 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 57 Comments

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In solidarity with MLB players, I drove to a cliff on the PCH, overlooking the Pacific Ocean, stepped out of my Sebring while it was still in neutral, locked the doors, and watched as it rolled off the cliff, crashing into the roof of a billionaire’s beachfront home. To illustrate the MLB owners’ position, I went to a Chipotle, and on a sign clearly labeled “pull,” I pushed for hours, screaming, “What happened? Am I locked out? This is totally unfair!” For the fans, I took out a full newspaper ad, pleading for both sides to go back to the negotiating table, and that was seen by the 12 people who still read a hard-copy of the paper. We. Are. United! Which is what I was shouting as I was escorted away from the Delta terminal.

So, no great news has come out about the MLB lockout. I’m not a labor reporter, and won’t bore you while pretending to be. This is an evolving shituation that could change tomorrow or six weeks from now. My guess is there will be movement in the landmark case of sooner vs. later. Hopefully, it won’t last much longer. *wavy lines* The year is 2081. After a 60-year lockout, a deal is finally struck between the 80-year-old player rep, Wander Franco, and Rob Manfred Jr. Jr., the 15-year-old MLB commissioner-slash-influencer who opens graves and harvests human bones for petroleum on TikTok. *wavy lines* Yikes, what kind of dream was that?

If you want this broken down to you in the simplest of terms, I have good news and bad news. The bad news is we already lost one week of games. The good news is you’re not Rob Manfred.

“It’s all about the fans.” — Rob Manfred, walking past a store that sells ceiling fans. What if Rob Manfred’s real job was to make Bud Selig look good in retrospect? Makes ya think, huh? Ain’t sayin’ anything groundbreaking here, but when MLB owners aren’t losing money by losing games, the system is broken.

Okay, back to fantasy, as I said last week, I was updating my 2022 fantasy baseball rankings, but later on I discussed it with Rudy and we’re holding tight for now, because, honestly, one week missed of games isn’t going to change anything. Two weeks isn’t really anything, either. Later this week, maybe I’ll change my mind and remove a couple weeks from the projections. Maybe I’ll leave the positional rankings’s projections on a 162-game scale and only change my top 500. A few players might actually be benefited by the lockout, and there was some news. So, let’s get on the other side of this “Anyway,” and get to it. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for 2022 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Byron Buxton, 2022 Fantasy Schmohawk

March 4, 2022 | Fantasy Baseball Overrated | 69 Comments

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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”951684″ player=”13959″ title=”Rzbl2022%20Busts” duration=”200″ description=”undefined” uploaddate=”2022-02-06″ thumbnailurl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/thumb/951684_t_1644171255.png” contentUrl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/951684.mp4″]

When someone says “therefore” in real-life conversation, you know they’re full of shit. Byron Buxton‘s 2022 projections are a big, giant “therefore.” People are expecting him to “therefore” for six months straight. He will need to beat the longest previous “therefore,” which was Luke Voit in 2020. The longest “therefore” in history is O.J. Simpson from birth until June of 1994. A “therefore”record that might not ever be broken. Some say that OJ’s “therefore” is the Cal Ripken consecutive game streak of therefores. A “therefore” to end all therefores. Therefores happen, don’t get me wrong. I therefore’d once in conversation. Was out to dinner with Cougs, and a couple we were with was talking about how their sister was doing an upcoming Ted Talk — an actual Ted Talk, not my dog, Ted, talking, which would actually be the best Ted Talk ever — and this friend’s sister was about to do a Ted Talk about ants, and I said, “Don’t tell me anymore. Your sister is giving the Ted Talk? Therefore, I will be watching.” And, boy, was I lying my ass off! Like I’m watching a Ted Talk, let alone one about ants! See, “therefore” is the giveaway. Next time you’re hanging with your friends say “therefore” and those friends, if they’re real friends, will no longer be friends with you, because you will be lying to them. Friends keep it real. They will stop being friends with some friends like ones using “therefore” in conversation. So, last year, Byron Buxton’s statline was 50/19/32/.306/9 in 235 ABs, and his projections are saying therefore/therefore/therefore/therefore/therefore. Therefore, please just stop the lies. So, what can we expect from Byron Buxton for 2022 fantasy baseball and what makes him overrated?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

George Springer, 2022 Fantasy Schmohawk

March 3, 2022 | Fantasy Baseball Overrated | 38 Comments

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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”951684″ player=”13959″ title=”Rzbl2022%20Busts” duration=”200″ description=”undefined” uploaddate=”2022-02-06″ thumbnailurl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/thumb/951684_t_1644171255.png” contentUrl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/951684.mp4″]

So, wasn’t expecting to write a George Springer overrated post. Didn’t seem like a guy who could possibly be overrated. What’s to overrate? You know him and he just missed half of last season, and he always misses time. Why is he even overrated? I’m having a hard time figuring that out. His Steamer projections from us are 100/32/85/.257/7 in 524 ABs. Don’t think any of those numbers are unattainable. I have him down for 91/27/63/.246/7 in 503 ABs. So, few less homers; same steals; little less average; counting stats are what they are. My problem is. Dot dot dot. Pause for effect. Dramatic sting. Why is that being drafted in the top 50 overall? If I told you I had a 27/7/.250 hitter, you’d say to me, “That’s a pretty cool story, bro, is it Anthony Rizzo?” And I’d say to you, “No, it’s George Springer,” and you’d say, “No, it’s not, but cool way to disguise Anthony Santander, Broseph,” and I’d say, “I’m not your Broseph, I’m being serious. Are you only able to guess Anthony names?” And you’d say, “Easy, Chilly Wills, is it Eduardo Escobar,” and I’d say, “No, CHILLY WILLS! IT’S GEORGE SPRINGER?!” And you’d say, “I think you suddenly went deaf because you started screaming,” and I’d say, “I’m no longer having this conversation,” and you’d say, “Is it Eddie Rosario?” And I’d throw you off the horsey we were sharing on this carousel of thoughts. So, what can we expect from George Springer for 2022 fantasy baseball and what makes him overrated?

Psyche! So, yesterday, I said I was updating my 2022 fantasy baseball rankings, but later on I discussed it with Rudy and we’re holding tight for now, because, honestly, one week missed of games isn’t going to change anything. What, I’m gonna remove three runs, three RBIs and four-tenths of a homer and steal? Next week, we’ll reevaluate and potentially take two weeks of stats off the projections, or something else, yet to be considered. Next week, I’ll also do a state of the game roundup and discuss Acuña, Kershaw, and others. Anyway II, why is George Springer is overrated?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

RazzSlam Recap: Seiya? I’m Going To Swing From The Chandelier

March 2, 2022 | Our Leagues | 84 Comments

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I’m a big fan of the everyman. I consider myself the everyman. I’m every man’s everyman. A pioneer of normcore. Track pants and a blinking light on my car’s dashboard that either means my seatbelt isn’t on or I need oil. That is me. What better way to elevate the Everyman Culture, then to take part in a tourney where no one is smarter than anyone else. Enter the RazzSlam, a Best Ball tourney. Every everyman likely knows what a Best Ball league is, but, if you don’t, it’s when you draft a team and the computer manages it for you by choosing who are your best players, and you get those stats. It’s basically one fantasy league removed from the robots taking over and killing us all. Well, the last laugh is on you robots, cholesterol is beating you to the punch! Kinda love that Razzball is putting on a tourney (hosted by NFBC — thank you!) that no one really has any clue how to strategize. A true everyman experience. Oh, I’m sure there’s a few people who think they know the correct strategy for Best Ball, and a few of them might be right, but there’s an under 1% chance they know why they’re right, and it isn’t just luck. In some ways, Best Ball leagues are a lot like Best Ball strategies. Throw a ton of them out there and a few good ones will rise to the top through sheer force of players’ performances and nothing you’re actually doing. That’s the fun. Anyway, here’s my RazzSlam, a 42-round, Best Ball 12 team draft recap:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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