Reds announced that Joey Votto is able to return. Crickets, pin dropping, echo…echo…echo… “God? It’s me, Dusty Baker. If I need him, is Votto ready to pitch?” “I’m afraid not, Dusty. He’s not a pitcher.” “In the traditional sense?” “In every sense.” “How about as a reliever?” “No, Dusty.” “As a LOOGY?” “Fine, Dusty.” “Thanks! […]
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Reynolds Smoking Homers Like A Bandit
September 3, 2012 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 172 Commentsby: Grey
This weekend, my Cougar’s dog had diarrhea all over my foot. So, I wrote a list of Don’ts and taped it to his bed. 1. Do not poop my foot. 2. Do not ever poop my foot. Seriously. 3. There’s no three. Now if you were to switch out “foot,” with “fantasy team” that could’ve […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? September Means Rosters Moving From Foster’s Oil Cans to Forties
August 31, 2012 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 278 Commentsby: Grey
The 40-man roster began in the 1960’s when the Houston Colt 45’s entered as an expansion team. It gave them an opportunity to call up a young, smooth outfielder named Billy Dee Williams, who could play the field with the best of them. Unfortunately, he was on the bench most days, because his team was content […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Yesterday, Jason Kipnis went 2-for-4 with his 13th homer. Member when he had 11 homers going into the All-Star break and we were like, “Yo, I’d let Kipnis sleep with my baby’s mama. He earned that shizz, yo. Just make sure you change the sheets, that’s all I ask. And maybe if you could pick up some […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Kenley’s Heart Being Questioned, Josh Beckett Knows How He Feels
August 30, 2012 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 194 Commentsby: Grey
It didn’t take long for Josh Beckett to cause people to question the heart of the Dodgers staff. And they didn’t even have to send them a Valentine. Look, we wouldn’t wish a heart issue on anyone but of all the Dodger closers over the years, why Kenley Jansen? Why not Steve Howe? He was a coke […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? The Razzball Podcast — The One Where They Talk About Fantasy Baseball Prospects
August 29, 2012 | All Podcasts | 165 Commentsby: Grey
Due to my flight back from New York having me traveling around 2 AM west coast time, I bowed out of yesterday’s podcast. There was no way I was going on three hours sleep that I got in a middle seat. I need my 18 hours of sleep while Asian women massage my bunions. It’s […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?It’s a wrap for Jose Bautista in 2012. See you around like a donut in 2013. It’s far from breaking news that he’s done for the year. It looked like it was headed that way for the last few days. As an aptly-named, pessimistic Polish man would be named, Bummerooski. He didn’t have the year […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Shelby Miller Loved Everywhere Except In Springfield
August 28, 2012 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 236 Commentsby: Grey
There’s some strong indications that Shelby Miller could be called up by the Cards when the rosters expand on September 1st. “Why should we care about some stunod with a 4.89 ERA in Triple-A? Hey, Grey, we care about stunods now?” That’s you talking to yourself just as a pretty girl walks by and thinks […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Did you see the game Brett Anderson threw the other day? Neither did I. Was watching MasterChef. C’mon, is she really blind? I could see a service dog, pulling to the side of the road and being like, “Listen, sweetheart, how about we stop the charade and let me go hump some other dogs?” There’s […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Yesterday, Alex Cobb threw a 4-hit, 2-walk shutout with 8 Ks vs. the A’s. Cy Cobb? Nah, probably not. Last night though, pretty. Let’s look it how The Tampa Bay Peach got where he is. Earlier this year, The Tampa Bay Peach hit that sweet spot, deciduously ready and he dropped to the ground, rolled about […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Bay Area sports teams may want to throw out the mother dough. It’s tainted. Bartolo Colon was suspended for 50 days after being caught with elevated levels of testosterone. This much testosterone hasn’t been found in one man since they pumped Rod Stewart’s stomach in the late-70’s. Sorry, Snopes, it’s a fact. I see […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? The Razzball Podcast — The One Where We Talk With The Colby Rasmus Girl
August 22, 2012 | All Podcasts | 190 Commentsby: Grey
First off, if you don’t know who the Rasmus Girl is, shame on you. I believe she also goes by Geiger Girl. Not sure if you can call her The Rasmus Geiger Girl, or really call her at all. She’s already probably considering pressing charges on us. To get acquainted with Geiger Girl, go to […]
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