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“Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

This is from the Wikipedia entry for former Brewers’ manager, Harvey Kuenn: That made me howl. “Otherwise respectable” is so funny there. “Kuenn was fired as manager with an otherwise respectable 87-75 record in 1983. Make sure you put in ‘otherwise respectable.’” That’s the Ghost of Harvey Kuenn dictating to a Wikipedia editor, who he […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

You’re gonna say, “C’mon, Grey, you’re putting us on, like you put on a shirt to perfectly complement your handsome face,” but I was at an art gallery yesterday and looking at this piece of (f)art right when Robert Gasser was called up: Guys and five girls, that’s what you call synergy. I swear I’m […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?