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Casey Mize and Matt Manning, 2020 Fantasy Outlook

November 12, 2019 | Fantasy Baseball Rookies | 67 Comments

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Don’t think I’ve ever done a joint post before like this, which is not to say I’m smoking a joint while I write this. Brucely, that’s every post if that’s what we’re talking about. When I say I’m cashed out, I’m not talking about being negative on my bank account. Okay, I’m talking about that too. Casey Mize and Matt Manning go together like peanut butter and your dog staring at you with a look like, “Yo, Cousin Ownerpants, give me some of that shizz.” Casey Mize and Matt Manning go together like Casey Mize and me thinking of Tyra Banks telling someone to smize. Casey Mize and Matt Manning go together like a ladder and Jose Altuve’s kitchen. Is it just me or do you also imagine Jose Altuve’s house is like a mid-century library with ladders sliding along the walls to get cereal and drinking goblets? Altuve 1000% drinks from a goblet; don’t even try to tell me different. Any hoo! The 22-year-old Casey Mize and the 22-year-old-in-January Matt Manning are both in the Tigers’ minor league system, said Mr. Obvious. The Tigers took Mize 1st overall in the 2018 draft; Manning went 9th overall in 2016. Both have the pedigrees of potential aces, so how long until the Tigers trade them to other teams so they can win Cy Youngs? I kid, I kid! (I don’t kid; this is deathly serious.) So, what can we expect from Casey Mize and Matt Manning for 2020 fantasy baseball?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Michael Kopech, 2020 Fantasy Outlook

November 11, 2019 | Fantasy Baseball Rookies | 67 Comments

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Giving you a little looksie behind the curtain at Razzball HQ, where I’m not wearing pants and have had multiple lawsuits levied against me, I asked Prospect Itch to give me about 20 names of prospects who will be relevant for 2020, and rank them in order of 2020 relevancy, so I could give you a breakdown of each one, from best to worst. He’s our prospect writer, hence the 1st name, and he knows all of these guys way more in-depthly (totally a word!) than I. My focus is on 2020. After watching some videos of these guys, I could see why they’ll be relevant in 2020 and beyond, but this is about 2020 for me. This is why I didn’t write a post about Wander Franco, and might not. (Still debating it, seems super doubtful though.) With that said (Grey’s turning the ship around!), I don’t know if Michael Kopech will be relevant in 2020, and, therefore, ergo, vis-a-vie, we’re getting towards the end of my fantasy rookie series, when I’m going over guys who might not be relevant this year. (If you have any names of rookies for 2020, who I haven’t covered yet, mention them in the comments.) So, what can we expect from Michael Kopech for 2020 fantasy baseball?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Brendan McKay, 2020 Fantasy Outlook

November 8, 2019 | Fantasy Baseball Rookies | 59 Comments

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True or false, the best thing about Brendan McKay is he sounds like what a dad in the 1990’s would’ve called two different characters on 90210. Gonna go with false, but a fantasy baseball ‘pert has the prerogative to change his or her mind. On a side note that’s only tangentially related (like the rest of this will be related), McKay is the fourth guy this offseason who either just kept or lost rookie eligibility. McKay threw 49 innings, and the cut-off is 50. Interesting side note there, Tangent Grey. Brendan McKay is a two-way player from the Rays; imagine if the Rays were short for Ray Searage. *insert GIF of Rays fans King Tommen’ing out of a window* Thankfully, it’s not and the Rays, I’m told, are good with pitchers, but how are they with hitters? Fine, but they’re like a guy who lives in a refrigerator in Home Depot. They have a ton of tools at their disposal but there’s an overload of tools with way too many options, and they’re always giving us the cold shoulder. (You thought the refrigerator was unplugged — ha!) If hitting and pitching made Ohtani a unicorn, McKay is a commitaphobe unicorn. Capable of doing the two-way thing, but either he or the Rays don’t seem committed to having him hit, so I don’t plan on projecting him for hitting. Maybe he gives a handful of homers in under 100 ABs, but you’re not really drafting him for that. Picture Michael Lorenzen without having the whole ‘pitchers hit’ thing. Sorry for those of you having Siri read you this, picture/pitcher prolly confused the shizz out of you there. So, what can we expect from Brendan McKay for 2020 fantasy baseball?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Austin Hays, 2020 Fantasy Outlook

November 7, 2019 | Fantasy Baseball Rookies | 54 Comments

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Two Orioles for the fantasy baseball rookies series and Grey plants his flag in the Shizzville district of Camden Town. I’m someone sad like Morrissey singing about Camden Town. *places hand on ear to listen intently, another hand on my heart, swaying back and forth singing a song I don’t know so it’s just mumbles* “Blue blue blue, sad sad sad…So sad…” That’s me singing a sad song I don’t know. *climbs fence at the late Boog Powell’s house and places a flower on his freshly dug grave, sniffs around* That smells terrible. Just then Boog Powell comes out of the house, screaming, “I’m not dead! That’s my septic tank!” Sorry, Boog! I’m getting in touch with my O’s love! It’s my O’s face! Okay, fellas and five ellas, I don’t suddenly love the Orioles, but Austin Hays has great defense and an interesting hitting profile for fantasy. Defense doesn’t mean much for us, but it helps pencil in playing time. Here’s him making one of the best catches of last year:

via Gfycat

How much does Gorilla Glue have to advertise to get that placement behind home plate and also get Austin Hays to beat his chest like a gorilla? Did every Orioles player beat their chest after every routine catch? Is that all part of the same advertising campaign? What’s that, you don’t have Gorilla Chest-Thumps as a category in your league? Hmm…Can you find a new league? No? Okay. So, what can we expect from Austin Hays for 2020 fantasy baseball?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Sam Hilliard, 2020 Fantasy Outlook

November 5, 2019 | Fantasy Baseball Rookies | 27 Comments

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“Hey, Bud Black, do you see Sam Hilliard being called up to start the 2020 season?”
“He has to earn it.”
“Right, right, of course. Last year in Triple-A, Sam Hilliard hit 35 homers and stole 22 bags. Some would say that is earning it.”
“That was in an environment that was very conducive to hitters.”
“Um, yeah, well, the thing is, and I hope I’m not being out of line, but the Rockies play in Coors.”
“Right, but the pitchers in Triple-A.”
“Again, who am I to tell you your job, but the Rockies’ team ERA was 5.56.”
“ERA isn’t everything.”
“What measure are we looking at then?”
“The IDK percentage and other such stats.”
“Did you just make an acronym of ‘I Don’t Know?'”

The preceding was a conversation between Bud Black and a reporter. If you can find any reason why the Rockies did not promote a 25-year-old like Sam Hilliard, who hit 35 homers in the minors, during a season when they were essentially out of the race by May, please send it to me, because I couldn’t find a reason anywhere. They didn’t even have a steady center fielder all year. Are we sure Bud Black knows he has a minor league team of players he can call up at any time? I get it, sure, he could’ve played Raimel Tapia to see what he had with him. That’s a great theory! I wish that was what was going on, because Tapia was being randomly platooned too. Did Ian Desmond need to get 443 ABs? An alien who doesn’t know anything about baseball, except what it learned five minutes before being questioned (because, let’s be honest, it needs to know something to answer the question) would tell you, Desmond didn’t need that many at-bats. Here’s a hilarious example of stupidity. Bud Black gave Yonathan Daza more at-bats than Hilliard last year. Daza went 7/0/3/.206/1 in 97 ABs; Hilliard went 13/7/13/.273/2 in 77 ABs. HAHAHAHA–Breathe, Grey, breathe! Why would you not play Hilliard? Seriously, WHY? Caps for emphasis, not because I don’t know my own typing finger’s strength. So, what can we expect from Sam Hilliard in 2020 fantasy baseball?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Nick Madrigal, 2020 Fantasy Outlook

November 4, 2019 | Fantasy Baseball Rookies | 13 Comments

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White Sox have their arm around Yolmer Sanchez’s shoulder as they walk him out of a diner in New Jersey. Yolmer’s glances are furtive, one quick move and he’s ready to run. The White Sox stop on the sidewalk and point towards an alley down the street, “Now, listen, Yolmer, go down there and pick out some nice furs for yourself.” “Uh, I don’t know, White Sox.” “Go ahead, Yolmer, get yourself some while you and Henry Hill are going through this.” “What? I’m Yolmer Sanchez, your 2nd baseman, why are you treating me like a snitch in Goodfellas?” “Go. Get. Yourself. Some. Furs.” Yolmer runs off, scared. And…scene! Well, hopefully that’s a scene for the White Sox and Yolmer as Nick Madrigal forces his way into the lineup. Really starting to like the White Sox for my random World Series pick in 2020. What kind of odds can I get? Good? Great! Put down $500 smackeroos of fake money for me!  So, what can we expect from Nick Madrigal for 2020 fantasy baseball?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Jesus Luzardo, 2020 Fantasy Outlook

October 31, 2019 | Fantasy Baseball Rookies | 51 Comments

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Here’s what I wrote earlier this year, “From the journal of Jim Morrison, he wrote about an encounter he had with lizard wearing a crown of thorns that he alternated calling, Jesus Luzardo and The Luzard King. Here, I wish to transcribe Jim’s musings, ‘Today, I rode with a large Native American man to a Wawa to get some beej ferky (sic). The Native American man told me about the many lives he had lived and how he never trusted rookie pitchers. He recounted a story about how he traded all his pitchers for Chris Paddack, due to a great April in 2019.  This was confusing to me, since this was 1970, but this wise Native American knew more in his head, which he covered in an Indians baseball club hat, than I’d ever know. Was this Lou Boudreau? Before we got to the Wawa, which was only three minutes away by automobile, so not sure why it was taking so long — were we lost? — the Native American man pulled over and picked up a pitchman for an insurance company which was an animated lizard. This was The Luzard King. An obvious lizard, which made it weird when it kept saying it was a gecko. The Luzard King said it had a shoulder issue early in the preseason of the 2019 season, which I had a premonition would be 38 years after my death. Also, oddly enough, I’m being fed a quote from the future from Prospect Mike about Jesus Luzardo. He will say, ‘Luzardo’s stock just continues to rise. He’s in the rarified air of ‘best pitching prospects’ now. The lefty threw 109 innings across three leagues in 2018 and posted a 129/30 strikeout-to-walk ratio. Everything is plus or better – the heater, the curve, the change, the control. He’s the total package, like the package I filled with anthrax and sent to Grey.’ Who is this Grey he speaks of? Who is Prospect Mike? Was it the peyote talking or was it something more mysterious?’ And that’s me quoting Jim Morrison quoting Prospect Mike! Don’t think Luzardo is going to be up before the All-Star Break, but now is the time to stash him. He could be a solid Middler like early Yonny. Call him Once Uponny.” And that’s me quoting me quoting Jim Morrison quoting Prospect Mike quoting me quoting–Greybot 5000 is overheating! Get me Gatorade and a cheap ace pitcher’s stats! Seriously, that was long and extra windy about Luzardo and I am so proud of myself for recounting it here. Anyway, what can we expect from Jesus Luzardo for 2020 fantasy baseball?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Ryan Mountcastle, 2020 Fantasy Outlook

October 29, 2019 | Fantasy Baseball Rookies | 15 Comments

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I usually don’t Mr. Bungle things as badly as I Mr. Bungled Ryan Mountcastle this past year and for the first time I need to apologize. Around mid-May of nineteen after twenty, I told you to pick up Mountcastle because his promotion was imminent, then *raspberries lips* nothing. He was never promoted. He hit 25 HRs and .312 in Triple-A in 127 games, but the Orioles were stacked with major league options like Rio Ruiz, Chris Davis, Richie Martin–Wait a minute! I didn’t Mr. Bungle Ryan Mountcastle’s ETA in the majors! The Orioles filmed an episode of Botched over 162 games and forgot to promote him! This is on the O’s. I was about to take credit for messing up for the 1st time ever and, on second thought, I’m not taking credit anymore. No apologies, Eminem! No way, this is on them! Stupid O’s, which is what my Italian relatives call SpaghettiOs, for what it’s Werth. So, will Ryan Mountcastle be promoted this year? Well, with the O’s losing Breyvic Valera, they have a wide open spot for a guy with a Game of Thrones name. So, what we can expect from Ryan Mountcastle for 2020 fantasy baseball?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Seth Brown, 2020 Fantasy Outlook

October 28, 2019 | Fantasy Baseball Rookies | 11 Comments

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Seth Brown‘s minor league stats last year: *fracks fifteen hundred miles into the earth’s core, hikes down into the deepest, darkest cavern that my needless fracking created, realizes I forgot my megaphone, hikes fifteen hundred miles back up while wondering if you could frack all the way to China, when at the surface of earth, grabs a megaphone, then returns back down fifteen hundred miles, finding it an easier go this time because I’ve done the trip once before, when I reach the deepest, darkest cavern in the earth, I blow into the megaphone the world’s loudest chef’s kiss* That’s how good Seth Brown’s minor league stats are! In Triple-A, Seth Brown went 101/37/104/.297/8 in 451 ABs. El oh-*coughs dramatically and dies* Sorry to inform everyone that Grey died from black lung. He contracted it from fracking down fifteen hundred miles WHILE VAPING! He didn’t tell you about the vaping, did he? By the way, that’s totally going on my tombstone:  “He didn’t tell you about the vaping?” Anyway, what can we expect from Seth Brown for 2020 fantasy baseball?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Nick Solak, 2020 Fantasy Outlook

October 25, 2019 | Fantasy Baseball Rookies | 25 Comments

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In Double-A in eighteen after twenty, Nick Solak put up a 19/21/.282 season in 126 games like en bee dee, and would’ve likely been called up to start the year in Tampa last year, or at worst a May/June call-up, but the Rays eat prospects for breakfast and poop out (around lunchtime) guys like Joey Wendle and Daniel Robertson and Yandy Diaz and Willy Adames and Brandon Lowe and their entire lineup, so Solak (almost stutterer!) was shipped off to the Rangers, who have literally no one, for a middle reliever. This is Solak’s third team in three years, so the shine — thine? — might’ve worn off if he wasn’t a bat-first prospect to begin with — an at-first, bat-first prospect? Sure, defense is nice if, ya know, you’re trying to put together a real baseball team, but, luckily for us, we’re not billionaires (yeah, baby!) and we don’t have to put together a team that can field as well as hit, unless you’re in a Benjamin Netanyahu league, in which case be wary of Solak.  So, what can we expect from Nick Solak in 2020 fantasy baseball?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Dylan Carlson, 2020 Fantasy Outlook

October 24, 2019 | Fantasy Baseball Rookies | 49 Comments

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I must admit my brain is slightly damaged because I see that Dylan Carlson plays for the Cardinals and I think of Harrison Bader and thank u, next. So, let’s get the elephant out of the room first and talk to our contractors about why they made the doorway big enough for the elephant to begin with, but no nightlight by our bed so we can read. Dylan Carlson isn’t Harrison Bader. No one is Bader, according to his 23 and Me profile; he’s a special snowflake. In 2017, Bader went 20/15/.283 in Triple-A and last year Carlson went 21/18/.281 in Double-A. I told you, huge difference! *long gulp, pulls on collar, sweat trickles* Okay, so maybe there’s so similarities? Bader actually has quote-unquote more speed than Carlson, less power and struggled more with plate discipline than Carlson (at different levels, but you’re the one who wanted this comparison. Okay, okay, OKAY, maybe I wanted the comparison, but here we are now). Results vary obviously, but if you told me Carlson and Bader would result in 100% of the same stats, I wouldn’t be wholly surprised. Carlson does look better, however, so…Anyway, what can we expect from Dylan Carlson for 2020 fantasy baseball?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Jo Adell, 2020 Fantasy Outlook

October 22, 2019 | Fantasy Baseball Rookies | 34 Comments

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Something I didn’t mention the other day in my Luis Robert fantasy when I was going on about how Luis Robert was my number one fantasy baseball prospect for 2020 is how close Jo Adell was to him. I don’t remember two prospects being as close any other year. Sure, last year Vlad Jr. and Eloy were 1A and 1B, but I felt like 1A was way over 1B even though 1B ended up above 1A at the end of the year. I’m talking perspective more than reality, and hindsight is 20/20, but that doesn’t apply simply because we’re talking about 2020. I’ve just confused myself, tee bee aitch. Maybe Adell can squeeze out Lou Bob this year like Eloy squeezed out Vlad Jr. last year, but my money’s on Robert, though my money is currently tied up in Beanie Babies. Anyway, what can we expect from Jo Adell for 2020 fantasy baseball?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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