For players who only played in 38 or fewer games since 2018, Yoenis Cespedes leads that group in home runs, RBIs, runs–I’m kidding. That is what we’re about to walk into though, if/when this season gets going. People are going to be talking about how great a player is in 40-or-less games. What a jizzoke. Also, anyone that says, “This is going to be more of a sprint than a marathon.” Tell them to buy The Giant Book of Metaphors & Similes, which is like…um…what’s a giant book of metaphors and similes like? Damn, should’ve bought that book when I saw it the last time I was in a bookstore in 2002. This baseball season is going to be as long as the line at your nearest Barnes & Noble. Bookstore employee, “Just this one book for today?” Customer, “Yeah, that’s it.” Bookstore Employee, “Would you mind filling out a survey?” Customer, “Um, yeah, sure.” Employee, “Great, 1st question is: Why are you in a bookstore? Second question: Do you not have internet?” Customer, “This survey is tough!” Any hoo! With the delayed season, we have a chance to ACKSUALLY see Yoenis Cespedes. So, what can we expect from Yoenis Cespedes for 2020 fantasy baseball and what makes him a great dart throw?
I momentarily thought about removing “great” from that last question. Is Yoenis Cespedes a “great” dart throw? Well, he’s one, that’s for sure. Okay, the NL will have a universal DH. Book it, Dano! (Especially if the imaginary bookstore employee’s name is Dano.) Side note, after the parenthetical side note, I’m excited to see NL depth charts add in a DH slot. Not one site that I’ve seen has done it yet, but it will be a fun novelty once it’s done. Okay, now, really, about Cespedes. He’s had a ton of injuries — no freakin dur — but looking at his stats, and he’s never had a bad season if you’re prorating. “I love that.” That’s Mr. Prorater getting aroused. Yoenis’s last few seasons: 9 HRs, 3 SBs in 38 games; 17 HRs, .292 in 81 games; 31 HRs, .280 in 132 games. Obviously, he’s struggled to stay on the field. He’s also struggled to stay on a horse, which sucks for someone who lives on a ranch. Could Yoenis be rusty? Yes, and if he pinch-hits, he could be Rusty Staub. A universal DH seems to be built for a guy like Yoenis who does nothing but hit. I’m not 100% he can do anything else. I’d be interested in seeing if he can run to first after hitting. But — again with some stank — BUT! If he can run to first (then, 2nd and so on), he should be at worst the fourth best bat in the Mets’ lineup (Alonso, Conforto, Davis), and might be the 2nd best. Besides the litany of injuries, it also gives me pause that Yoenis is now 34 years old and has been away from hitting major league pitching for a minute. At his price though, which is essentially free in every league, I like the dart throw for Yoenis, assuming he’s not riding a horse to the games.