For players who only played in 38 or fewer games since 2018, Yoenis Cespedes leads that group in home runs, RBIs, runs–I’m kidding. That is what we’re about to walk into though, if/when this season gets going. People are going to be talking about how great a player is in 40-or-less games. What a jizzoke. Also, anyone that says, “This is going to be more of a sprint than a marathon.” Tell them to buy The Giant Book of Metaphors & Similes, which is like…um…what’s a giant book of metaphors and similes like? Damn, should’ve bought that book when I saw it the last time I was in a bookstore in 2002. This baseball season is going to be as long as the line at your nearest Barnes & Noble. Bookstore employee, “Just this one book for today?” Customer, “Yeah, that’s it.”  Bookstore Employee, “Would you mind filling out a survey?” Customer, “Um, yeah, sure.” Employee, “Great, 1st question is:  Why are you in a bookstore? Second question:  Do you not have internet?” Customer, “This survey is tough!” Any hoo! With the delayed season, we have a chance to ACKSUALLY see Yoenis Cespedes. So, what can we expect from Yoenis Cespedes for 2020 fantasy baseball and what makes him a great dart throw?

I momentarily thought about removing “great” from that last question. Is Yoenis Cespedes a “great” dart throw? Well, he’s one, that’s for sure. Okay, the NL will have a universal DH. Book it, Dano! (Especially if the imaginary bookstore employee’s name is Dano.) Side note, after the parenthetical side note, I’m excited to see NL depth charts add in a DH slot. Not one site that I’ve seen has done it yet, but it will be a fun novelty once it’s done. Okay, now, really, about Cespedes. He’s had a ton of injuries — no freakin dur — but looking at his stats, and he’s never had a bad season if you’re prorating. “I love that.” That’s Mr. Prorater getting aroused. Yoenis’s last few seasons: 9 HRs, 3 SBs in 38 games; 17 HRs, .292 in 81 games; 31 HRs, .280 in 132 games. Obviously, he’s struggled to stay on the field. He’s also struggled to stay on a horse, which sucks for someone who lives on a ranch. Could Yoenis be rusty? Yes, and if he pinch-hits, he could be Rusty Staub. A universal DH seems to be built for a guy like Yoenis who does nothing but hit. I’m not 100% he can do anything else. I’d be interested in seeing if he can run to first after hitting. But — again with some stank — BUT! If he can run to first (then, 2nd and so on), he should be at worst the fourth best bat in the Mets’ lineup (Alonso, Conforto, Davis), and might be the 2nd best. Besides the litany of injuries, it also gives me pause that Yoenis is now 34 years old and has been away from hitting major league pitching for a minute. At his price though, which is essentially free in every league, I like the dart throw for Yoenis, assuming he’s not riding a horse to the games.

 
  1. galica says:
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    Grey!!!

    Awesome dart throw! Go Yoenis.

    a. Over/under on 38 games played by Ces-POOP-des!

    b. MLB quote of the day for June 17, 1916

    ‘What, and give him (the batter) a chance to think on my time.’

    Grover Cleveland Alexander, aka ‘Old Pete’. During his 20-year career he was dominant and he is tied with Mathewson for NL career wins (373). Some of his records.

    1. 28 wins as a rookie, a modern-day record.
    2. 16 shutouts in 1916.
    3. Won the pitching NL Triple Crown three times – 1915, 1916, 1920 – and the MLB Triple Crown in 1915.
    4. A war veteran, he won his only WS against the Yankees when he won games 2 and 6 and then got called into game 7 when the pitcher got a blister with the bases loaded, 2 outs and Lazzeri up. He struck him out and pitched 2 innings of shutout relief to win the series for the Cards (Game 7 ended with a CS of Babe Ruth!). According to a team mate, he got drunk after game 6 and was still hungover at game time for game 7 and when he was called in for relief!

    Cheers,
    Ante

    • Wake Up says:
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      Worked for Boomer Wells…

      • lennydykstraisjustkmisunderstood says:
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        “Ok Boomer” ……………….damn forgot about boomer wells

        • Wake Up says:
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          *Cues up Perfect Day by Lou Reed*

          • Grey

            Grey says:
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            Perfect Day is such a great song — dead boomer or not

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      A. Under, but barely, and that’s still 85% of the season! Woohoo!

      B. What is he referring to? Did he used to yell at hitters to get in the batters’ box?

      1. I bet no one beats that record this year

      • galica says:
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        Grey!

        Not sure 100% but I bet some snarky news reporter asked him why he didn’t wait too long between pitches or something similar. Then the quote makes sense, why give the batter an advantage.

        On the strikeout of Lazzeri, he told Rogers Hornsby how he would strike him out and the strikeout was exactly like he told Hornsby – two fastballs, first one inside, third pitch a curve ball. Frank Voila, who might be due up soon. Also Frank Tanana could be there, who knows? It’s not just quotes about the rich and famous, it’s funny quotes and then a little bit of a story.

        Cheers,
        Ante

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Ah, gotcha — We need a month of Frank quotes!

          • Wake Up says:
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            Franktember!

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Long live Franktember!

          • galica says:
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            Grey!!

            FrankTember it is for all of September! Grey8 idea!

            Just wanted to put this out there. Black lives mattered before and will after the current dust settles. The black lives of the poor and lower-classed Africans matter all over Africa.

            Cheers,
            Ante

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Yes, they do…Franktember will have to wait through Thomasuly and Jimmygust

            • Black lives have always mattered.

  2. Asking for a friend says:
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    Thanks for keeping up the writing.

    I think it’s time for man-bear-Fred to get his ass out.

    He is the actual worst

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      No problem! Manfred is a devil spawn

  3. Cram It says:
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    Tim Lincecum turned 36 years old a couple of days ago. Where has the time gone?

    • The Great Knoche says:
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      Man, prime Timmy was nasty. Little body just broke down so fast.

      • Wake Up says:
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        The max effort poster boy.

        The brightest bulbs always burn out so fast. It’s better to burn out than to face Goldy another day…

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          An excellent adaption of Candle in the Wind!

          • Wake Up says:
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            My my hey hey

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Haha

      • lennydykstraisjustkmisunderstood says:
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        He had a 10 year career wasn’t that fast, the first 6 were the best

        • Wake Up says:
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          3 good seasons…career over in 2010 @26 so…not great…

          • The Great Knoche says:
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            I’d say 4 good years. 2011 was still solid. Lost 1.5 MPH off the fastball the next year.

            • lennydykstraisjustkmisunderstood says:
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              2012-14 he was not the same but he they were far from throw away years

              • The Great Knoche says:
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                Sure, he was a solid #4 starter in real life, but became fantasy irrelevant in 2012.

                • lennydykstraisjustkmisunderstood says:
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                  yes fantasy vs reality bb i tend to think of the reality aspect first still pretty new to the fbb stuff

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        Beware the Slim Jim body

    • Wake Up says:
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      Paul Goldschmidt’s soul catcher?

      • Cram It says:
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        How has Goldy hurt you so?

        • Wake Up says:
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          Pretty sure the burn is on Timmy…

          • Cram It says:
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            But if Tim is catching Goldy’s soul…he’s absorbing it/taking it. Or he’s getting beaten by it/absorbing the soul blows. Could go either way.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I wonder if he got stoned for his bday…Kidding, of course he did!

  4. NUX says:
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    Hello there fellow $10 Bestball heathen!

    Thx for doing those drafts with us, everyone really enjoyed them. Sucks we won’t get a normal season to be able to really test methods and prepare for 2021 bestballs with an adjusted strategy.

    I love this format and cheap buy-in, really needed something to do in the downtime. As we’ve said before, these were worth the $10 just for that alone.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Can’t believe you’re not doing anymore…That I autodrafted my last pick is fitting end, I guess

      • NUX says:
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        Yea that happened to me several times… I just counted up all my drafts. 47 of them. Pray for me and my disease.

        Anyways, its that perfect window of time where I fall asleep and sleep in… that’s when I miss my pecks. I think thats prob what happened to you for your last ones. Plus the last 2 rounds are only 1 hour instead of 2 hours

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          You miss your pectorals? Why do they change to one hour, that is so annoying

          • NUX says:
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            No idear, but the 4 Hour ones do it too, they change to 2 Hours. Do they do that in the other NFBC drafts that you do, like Cutline and NFBC50s and what not?

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Not sure why that would ever happen, especially with no Opening Day in sight

      • NUX says:
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        And by sleep in, I really just mean wake up in the AM, cause its early by you. But I think alot of us are CST or EST.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Yeah, it’s 830 AM here now…Not sure how I could’ve even made that last pick, wake up at 5 AM?

          • NUX says:
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            Yes Grey, the guys and I were talking and we will def need you to wake up at 5AM for a $10 baseball draft for a season that may never happen… lol

            On the reals though, thx for continuing to write for us. You should write a long diatribe on our $10 Bestballs and all that is right/wrong with that type of league.

            Need I remind you that there are only 2 OF that start!!!!

            You guys got it right with the Razzslam format. I love that setup. Its a better version of these cheapy ones we been doing.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Yeah, I might, depends on how long this offseason goes — yeah, I prefer Razzslam too…I don’t understand these BB 10s at all

            • return2earth says:
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              the 2 OF start is an interesting wrinkle .. really enjoyed this draft even w/ the uncertainty of things at the moment .. having 12 teams w/ engaged owners drafting a cheap & fun best ball league in a possibly shortened season was a great way to pass the time without having to put much thought into every pick

              • Grey

                Grey says:
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                Yeah, agreed! We need more Nux!

                • NUX says:
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                  Ugh, I need a break lol

                  Gimme a week and then we can reignite the flame perhaps.

                  I just posted my player shares in our GroupMe, so lemme post the highlights here too so you can see players and % of my 46 leagues that I own them in. Clearly heavily Razz influenced

                  1) Ian Happ (71.7 %)
                  2) Swanson (69.6 %)
                  3) Romine (58.7 %)
                  4) Sano (52.2 %)
                  5) WCalhoun (50.0 %)
                  6) Muncy (50.0 %)
                  7) Yonny Chirinos (47.8 %)
                  8) Odorizzi (47.8 %)
                  9) McCutchen (45.7 %)
                  10) Stroman (45.7 %)

                  • Grey

                    Grey says:
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                    You said 46 leagues and I did a literal spit take…HAHAHAHA — WUT?!

                    Always funny (not haha funny) to see certain players who are owned a lot simply because they’re cheap and you can always get them like Romine

                • NUX says:
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                  I had typed my player share comment out and then just realized I had never sent it to you. I guess with reports of actual baseball, there is a good reason to maybe do another draft soon. Stay tuned!

                  • Grey

                    Grey says:
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                    Yes!

    • JDB says:
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      Even though I f’d up a few picks, it was my first BB draft and I enjoyed it and will gladly do it again going forward.

  5. William Hung says:
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    With no baseball in the immediate future, I just gotta say – Animal Crossing is dope

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Haha, I’m tempted, but I get quickly addicted to video games

      • William Hung says:
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        oh then nah – you’ll end up playing for like 10 hours once you hit the point where you can customize your island… we won’t get any daily posts from you for awhile

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Haha, a customized island sounds wonderful

          • William Hung says:
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            Yeah during the first week I’d play for like 1 or 2 hours a day – but now i’m spending like 2-3 in spurts throughout the day just building mountains and rivers around my island and making small plots of land

            There’s a big community too which helps with engagement. For example, you can build a soccer pitch and a basketball court or something you’d really love – make your own boba tea shop

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Haha, funny you should mention that — I just read a recipe to make my own boba — sounds like it will only take about 2 hours, or simply 5 minutes to drive to a store (in a Hazmat suit — kidding, but am I???)

  6. Malicious Phenoms says:
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    Baseball has a deal to play!! Manfred and Clark just announced!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Yes!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Meh, no deal, but there will be one eventually — it’s closer tho

      • Malicious Phenoms says:
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        Sorry to jump the gun. Good ole Jon Heyman reported a deal on twitter, twitter went nuts and I came here. They are closer than they have been!

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Yeah, it’ll happen, matter of time

  7. Malicious Phenoms says:
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    Roesenthal has this:
    •60 games in 70 days
    •Season starting July 19th/20th
    •Full Prorated Salary
    •Expanded Playoffs in 2020 and 2021
    •Waiving of any potential grievance

    • The Itch

      The Itch says:
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      Seems like owners know they’d lose any potential grievance.

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        Also see the point that if you’re going to play (or just be around people) you might get sick, sit out if you want, but don’t sue us

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      That all makes sense, let’s see if the players go for it

  8. Around The Horn says:
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    If both sides settle between 60-65 games is there much of a difference in counting stats between Springer and Yelich where you would give both Springer and Olson for him? II have Bellinger at 1B now and Muncy on bench who can also cover 1B. Baez and J-Ram are in my UTIL spots.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Nah, I’d keep Olson and Springer

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