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Grey

Author: Grey

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Grey

Braves Say Acuña Meniscus Is a Problem-Free Philosophy

March 5, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 110 Comments

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Sometimes, the Gods smile. Not broad, goofy grins. They’re Gods. They have chiseled chins and deep dimples, and they’re women. They look like Kirsten Dunst. Gods are multiple Kirsten Dunsts. There will not be questions about this later, so you can read and discard, like your medical chart that says your cholesterol is high. Speaking of medical charts that we can read and discard, Ronald Acuña Jr.’s knee MRIs

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Grey

LABR Recap: Rated R For Ravishing

March 3, 2024 | Featured, Our Leagues | 172 Comments

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Okay, I’m going to try to show you my 2024 LABR team, but I have to warn you, if your parental controls are too high on your browser, you might not be able to see my team. If, for unstints, you have your Chrome browser at PG-13, you won’t even see my outfield. To help those people, and I’m only going to do this this one time, J*lio Rodriguez and A*ron J*dge are both in my outfield, and, ya know what, that’s not even the sexiest outfielder.

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Grey

15 Team Auction Draft: Who’s Team Is This? It’s Not My Team, Is It?

February 28, 2024 | Featured, Our Leagues | 138 Comments

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So, bunch of Razzballers got together for an auction draft at NFBC and I drafted a team I would never draft in any league. If you showed me this team, I’d say, “Looks like crap, get it out of my face!” Actually, I’d prolly say, “Cool, nice team,” but then I’d snicker! I’d snicker something awful! Real passive aggressive shizz from me! Just a snickering fool! So many snickers until I’m self-satisfied. Then I’d shove your team out of my face and say, “Begone!” I would hate this team if it’s yours, and at least I practice what I preach because I hate this team as mine too! Alas, we must muster on. For those not in the know, it’s a 15-team auction with two catchers that is a weekly league. Unlike a lot of NFBC leagues we play in, it is not draft and hold. There’s a $1000 FAAB budget with weekly pickups. Anyway, here’s my 15-team NFBC auction draft:

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Grey

Kodai’s Shoulder Might Need Some Re-Sengineering

February 22, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 115 Comments

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O. Henry typing up a player on his fantasy baseball website, “A player who has massive amounts of upside. Just absolutely loving this guy. He can be a cheap number one starter. I’d give my wife’s comb for this guy, and let her be all straggly and shizz. The only thing possibly going against this great, wonderful player is a small thing that likely won’t react negatively to his value and make this whole thing ironic. That thing is the player plays for the New York Mets.”

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Grey

Kyle Schwarber, 2024 Fantasy Schmohawk

February 21, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Overrated, Featured | 94 Comments

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This one bums me out a bit, because I do like Kyle Schwarber. I kinda love the Phils, in their current state, tee be aitch, but Schwarber? Of course, I like Schwarber. The Schwarb-bomb? Schwarbs? Schwarbs is fun. It’s goofy that he hits leadoff, naturally, but I don’t find myself complaining about Kyle Schwarber, in general, during the heat of the fantasy baseball season. By the by, “the heat of the fantasy baseball season” is sweating out a H2H week, when you’re down one hit during Sunday Night Baseball, and you ate a bad batch of clams, hence the sweating, while sitting on the toilet.

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Grey

Cole Ragans, 2024 Fantasy Schmohawk

February 19, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Overrated, Featured | 80 Comments

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You know things have really gone sideways when you’re out on the sexiest of the sexy guys like Elly De La Cruz. If you see Elly De La Cruz and think, “Ya know what? I don’t like what I see there,” then you just might be in the No Fun Zone. The NFZ is a place that is no fun to be. It’s kinda in the name. It’s like the DMZ without the threat of nuclear war. What fun is that? It’s like TMZ without Ben Affleck juggling Dunkin’ poorly. “Ben Affleck is carrying coffee from Dunkin’ and not spilling it! Let’s take pics for TMZ!” No, no one says that! People want Ben Affleck spilling shizz! Not drafting Cole Ragans is yet another example of Ben Affleck carrying an order of Dunkin’ in perfect containment.

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