After drudging through an Andy Dufresne-type tunnel for the top 20 catchers for 2018 fantasy baseball, I find myself with a group that actually really hurt or helped your team depending on how you drafted. If you went wrong with your 1st baseman, it could kill your season. Hey, Wil Myers, no hard feelings from me, because I didn’t own you. You prolly got some splainin’ to do to your owners though. If you went right, you might’ve won your league. However (uh-oh), 1st base, well, I guess that’s why we’re here. To recap, this final ranking is from our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater with my comments. Anyway, here’s the top 20 1st basemen for 2018 fantasy baseball and how they compared to where I originally ranked them:
1. Freddie Freeman – 1st base was not good. Some were obviously better than others, but compared to outfield or even middle infield, the top 1st basemen were bottoms for other positions. There was only one 1st baseman in the top 20 overall. There were ten outfielders, three 2nd basemen, six shortstops and four 3rd basemen. After catchers, 1st basemen were the worst. Lots of guys underperformed: Rizzo, Bellinger, Trey Mancini, Josh Bell, Wil Myers, Eric Hosmer and Jose Abreu. Some guys’ botox began to melt: Albert Pujols, Ryan Zimmerman, Joey Votto, Hanley Ramirez (member him?) and Adrian Gonzalez. And some guys just suck and we didn’t want to believe it: Miguel Sano and Greg Bird. Therefore, Freeman was the cream of the crap. Preseason Rank #2, 2018 Projections: 93/35/103/.308/8 in 577 ABs, Final Numbers: 94/23/98/.309/10 in 618 ABs
2. Paul Goldschmidt – Continuing with my thoughts from Freeman’s blurb, imagine if Au Shizz and Carpenter never turned it on. After their poor Septembers, I’m not sure they can be trusted again next year either. I want to make this about the past year, but I’m not sure next year’s getting better for 1st basemen. Hoskins, Rizzo and Bellinger jump out as able to be better, and Freeman is solid, but then who? The 57-year-old Encarnacion? Good Eflin luck. Preseason Rank #1, 2018 Projections: 108/30/111/.303/15 in 551 ABs, Final Numbers: 95/33/83/.290/7 in 593 ABs
3. Matt Carpenter – If you traded for Carpenter on May 1st, that picture in the Sistine Chapel of God touching Adam? He touched you instead. Also, put on some pants. Actually, God shouldn’t be touching Adam, he should be handing him boxers. Preseason Rank #23, 2018 Projections: 84/22/59/.252/2 in 464 ABs, Final Numbers: 111/36/81/.257/4 in 564 ABs
4. J.T. Realmuto – Went over him in the top 20 catchers.
5. Jesus Aguilar – I’ll go over starters soon, but you know how I always say punt top starters because they’re available later? Even with how bad 1st basemen were, there was only two real surprises (Aguilar and Muncy). You’ll have to take my word for it for now, but there was about 10 surprise starters. Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 80/35/108/.274 in 492 ABs
6. Rhys Hoskins – First Jesus, now Rhysus, further along we have Allahson. The 1st baseman are like an old joke. Jesus, Rhysus and Allahson are in a boat. Jesus says to Rhysus, “Did you bring the beverages?” Rhysus says, “I thought we were drinking your blood.” Allahson, “None for me, thanks.” Hoskins didn’t have a memorable 2nd season, but he was more on par with what we should’ve expected vs. a true disappointment. Sadly, his peripherals aren’t saying there was a lot of bad luck or reason for optimism going forward. 90/35/100/.250 might be who he is. Preseason Rank #9, 2018 Projections: 76/33/98/.271/3 in 544 ABs, Final Numbers: 89/34/96/.246/5 in 558 ABs
7. Anthony Rizzo – Not that great to the Izzo! That has quite the ring to it. Rizzo, “Speaking of rings…” The Cubs seem like a team that has put team in front of personal accomplishment, which is good for real baseball (not that good though, apparently), but that gives me lots of WTFs for fantasy, if it’s true. Preseason Rank #3, 2018 Projections: 101/34/112/.283/9 in 581 ABs, Final Numbers: 74/25/101/.283/6 in 566 ABs
8. Edwin Encarnacion – Again, I want this to be about this year, but Edwin has raised every red flag imaginable for avoiding next year. Walks went south, Ks went north, homers followed walks, batting average caught an Uber and said, “Follow those walks and homers!” Preseason Rank #7, 2018 Projections: 92/36/109/.253/1 in 561 ABs, Final Numbers: 74/32/107/.246/3 in 500 ABs
9. Ian Desmond – As good as his season was, which was okay as a whole but far from perfect, he joins about three other players who hit below .240 playing home games in Coors who weren’t catchers. I say ‘about’ because I didn’t research it, but I wanna say Walt Weiss, Clint Barmes and a wild card name I’m forgetting. If someone wants to research it for me, merci bootcamp. Preseason Rank #22, 2018 Projections: 55/17/51/.261/13 in 461 ABs, Final Numbers: 82/22/88/.236/20 in 555 ABs
10. Cody Bellinger – When you look up sophomore season in the dictionary, it says, “There’s no such thing, but, if there was, Bellinger’s year represents exactly that.” Could’ve just went with an illustration. Preseason Rank #4, 2018 Projections: 101/35/109/.265/12 in 561 ABs, Final Numbers: 84/25/76/.260/14 in 557 ABs
11. Max Muncy – I’m one to talk, because I dropped Aguilar after one long weekend, but if Dave Roberts were managing a fantasy team, he benched, at the time, a top 7 1st baseman in the majors, for a barely top 250 overall bat. As for Muncy, I went to look at his minor league stats to see if any of this year could’ve been predicted and A) No. B) I ended up finding his wedding registry. So, listen, Dodgers fans, if you want Muncy to keep setting the table, him and his fiancée could use some silverware. C) There’s no C. D) Muncy hit only 12 homers in the PCL the year before. So, he went homer-friendly to pitcher-friendly and his homers skyrocketed. To blow dust off an old school name, he looks like Dan Uggla. Call him Dan UggL.A. Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 75/35/79/.263/3 in 395 ABs
12. Joey Gallo – In 2017, he hit .209. This year, he hit .206. By my calculations, in 2086, he’s going to hit .002! Preseason Rank #12, 2018 Projections: 81/40/93/.221/5 in 506 ABs, Final Numbers: 82/40/92/.206/3 in 500 ABs
13. Matt Olson – I didn’t foresee the A’s becoming one of the best offensive teams in baseball, but if I had, my Allahson projections would’ve close. Fun fact! Allahson operates a website MeccaUpload. Preseason Rank #21, 2018 Projections: 64/34/70/.231/1 in 487 ABs, Final Numbers: 85/29/84/.247/2 in 580 ABs
14. Yuli Gurriel – His stats are the new bleh. Don’t care where he ended up ranked here, he had a Josh Reddick in 2017-type year — completely driven by counting stats. Keep driving your numbers with runs and RBIs and I’ll take an Uber with someone else. Not Carl Pavano though. Preseason Rank #29, 2018 Projections: 62/17/71/.284/3 in 441 ABs, Final Numbers: 70/13/85/.291/5 in 537 ABs
15. Jose Martinez – The good news, he was better than expected. The bad news, he wasn’t way better than expected. Preseason Rank #42, 2018 Projections: 51/15/54/.269/3 in 402 ABs, Final Numbers: 64/17/83/.305 in 534 ABs
16. C.J. Cron – There’s 1670 planets in the Milky Way that are exactly like Earth, and, on one of them called Earf, they play a game that resembles baseball called hitty-pitchyball and, in the hitty-pitchyball leagues, there’s a player called, C.J. Croon. Croon has had 600 ABs the last five years and has hit 35-40 homers every year. I play in one fantasy league on Earf and owned Croon. He’s always very underrayted. Their spelling, not mine. Preseason Rank #33, 2018 Projections: 64/25/71/.241/3 in 533 ABs, Final Numbers: 68/30/74/.253/1 in 501 ABs
17. Carlos Santana – Oye como bleh. Preseason Rank #17, 2018 Projections: 74/24/81/.257/4 in 552 ABs, Final Numbers: 82/24/86/.229/2 in 560 ABs
18. Jose Abreu – Until he was sidelined with an ingrown hair on his thigh, he was maddeningly mediocre. His ingrown hair might’ve been the only thing that wasn’t mediocre this year. To sideline a guy from a bad bikini wax, that ingrown hair must’ve been something else. Did it snake into his ACL? Jose Abreu, doing a Trump impersonation, “This is the biggest ingrown hair, the likes of which have never been seen before.” Preseason Rank #6, 2018 Projections: 92/32/104/.296/2 in 625 ABs, Final Numbers: 68/22/78/.265/2 in 499 ABs
19. Yonder Alonso – In case you were wondering, there’s a bunch of guys you owned below Yonder — Smoak, Marwin, Moreland, Kendrys, Pujols, Mancini, Belt, Myers, Zimmerman and Sano. Of course, there’s also players over Yonder — yoooooodaaaaaaaalaaaaaaayeeeeeeeewho! Preseason Rank #36, 2018 Projections: 60/20/66/.263/2 in 428 ABs, Final Numbers: 64/23/83/.250 in 516 ABs
20. Eric Hosmer – It’s not too hard to envision Hosmer signing with the Brewers last preseason and being an MVP candidate. San Diego: Where Fun Goes To Die. Preseason Rank #8, 2018 Projections: 83/24/95/.288/5 in 593 ABs, Final Numbers: 72/18/.253/69/7 in 613 ABs
