Brandon McCarthy had surgery and is likely done for the year. I’m sure no one wants to see McCarthy leave the rotation like that, even Daniel Straily. It reminds me of the time in Little League when I finally got a chance to play because Billy Brunswick had chicken pox. The team all said Billy should’ve been out there and Grey was the chicken and the pox on our team. It’s hard to play 2nd base when you’re crying into your mitt, but as I held the mitt to my face, and peeked out the grooves, I glanced down and the mitt’s laces showed a mustache on my shadow, so it wasn’t all bad. Hopefully, there’s a happy ending to the McCarthy/Straily story too. Since Straily was sent down at the end of August after his brief trial run, he was hit hard in one start and fared better in the other two. Pretty much the same way he’s pitched all year, he’s continued that: lights out; great Ks, little to no walks. If you have room on your team, I’d absolutely grab him. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Donovan Solano – 3-for-4, 1 run, 1 RBI and a bit of bupkis over the last week, but he has speed if you need that sorta thing. He’s going to be in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell and in that post I tell you to come back and read this. If you’ve now gone back and forth a few times, you can stop. This is it.
Justin Ruggiano – 1-for-4 with his 12th steal. If only Topps still did those duo cards like back in the day when they had the Otis Nixon and Wally Backman card with the caption, “Crack Is Backman.” They could have a Parmelee-Ruggiano card with the caption, “Freshly Great’d.”
Josh Johnson – 7 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks to move his record to 8-11 — hey, that’s also Jon Rauch’s height! Member when we just needed Josh Johnson to be healthy to have a terrific season? Those were the days. And you knew where you were then. Girls were girls and men were men. Mister, we could use a pitcher who wasn’t a groover again.
Marco Estrada – 5 IP, 4 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks. Well, if you play in a FIP league, you’re okay. Not in the general sense. In the general sense, if you play in a FIP league, you might be a little pasty and have trouble communicating with adults your age.
Norichika Aoki – 1-for-3, a run, an RBI and his 23rd steal. ”Norichika vroom vroom” that’s the background music for my SAGNOF porn.
Jean Segura – 1-for-3 and his 4th steal. He’s now batting .210. This yawnstipating audition he’s giving this year is doing all of us a great service. Pray he doesn’t get hot in the last few weeks, so he stays a legit sleeper next year.
Tim Hudson – 7 IP, 0 ER, 8 baserunners, 2 Ks, lowering his ERA to 3.59. A pretty great read over at The Atlantic talking about how sports announcers regard certain players, depending on their ethnicity. I only mention this because I was thinking about how Tim Hudson seemed racist to me like Chipper Jones, Roy Oswalt and Lance Berkman, but this is completely unfounded, could just be the old country boy thing they have going on. Though, we do have a way of finding out now, when ESPN inevitably hires them.
Jason Heyward – 2-for-4 to raise his average to .275. He now has 24 homers and 19 steals. Member about two months ago when I said he’d be better than Justin Upton? Yeah, there were quite a few people that disagreed. Yeah, we’ll see those people again in January when football ends.
Jhoulys Chacin – 3 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 10 baserunners, 3 Ks. This 4-man Rockies rotation that has no starters throwing more than 75 pitches looks like it was edited by Michael Bay and put through a focus group of people who have only watched commercials their whole life. Try having a conversation with this pitching staff and it will be like trying to talk to a hummingbird.
Chad Billingsley – Might require Tommy John surgery. Also could use Jenny Craig surgery, but there was no mention of that.
Jason Hammel – 5 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks as he was activated from the DL. He was out a month with knee surgery to remove a piece of loose cartilage. No offense to promiscuous Amish women who are sometimes called loose carriages. Hammel has a season ERA of 3.46 and even more impressive is his K-rate, which is nearly 9. I’d absolutely grab him in all leagues.
Mark Reynolds – 2-for-3, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and 2 more jacks. Come on. Nah, nah, one more time with authority. Come on! It’s Mini Donkey, and he’s dropping bombs like Bronx car alarms. Someone needs to contact Newport cigarettes because Mark Reynolds and Billy Dee Williams need to be on their billboards because he’s Alive With Pleasure! (Billy Dee because he should always be on every billboard ever.) On the serious tip, Reynolds didn’t start hitting home runs until I picked him up. That’s why he’s been bad since 2009, I hadn’t owned him. Shower me with love, Mark Reynolds, you owe me your career highlights! I said he could get ten homers in September; he might do it by September 10th.
Chris Davis – 1-for-4 with his 24th homer. Hitting over .300 in the last week and he’s been known to hit some homers in binges. You feel me? Okay, could you stop, it’s a little weird.
Matt Wieters – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 19th homer. You shouldn’t expect much from your catcher, and I don’t think you do — the Royal You here — yet somehow Wieters is about to hit 20+ homers for the 2nd year in a row and it still feels like a letdown. I sure hope I’m not here in fourteen after twenty blurbing Mike Trout like this.
Jeff Francoeur – 1-for-4 and a homer. Dah! I almost grabbed him for yesterday’s batty call. Sometimes Frenchy strings together some Freedom Flies, so I’d keep an eye on him.
Eric Hosmer – 1-for-4 and a homer. Must’ve been in honor of Obama’s speech because I’ve had an empty chair at first base all year.
Lorenzo Cain – 3-for-5 and two steals. I wanna say better late than never, but my man needs to wind his clock. You are really late, Cain…Sugar!
Adrian Beltre – 2-for-4 with his 30th homer and fifth this week. Yeah, and Mark Reynolds just pfft’d.
Jordan Zimmermann - 7 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 9 Ks vs. The Lovable Losers. No, not S.D. Jones and Iron Mike Sharpe.
Adam LaRoche - 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and yet another homer. His 6th this week. Between him, Beltre and Reynolds, it’s like Don Mattingly, Dale Long and Ken Griffey Jr. are having an orgy in Macy’s window! (“Having an orgy in Macy’s window” is my new phrase I’m trying to get to catch on. It means an outrageous display. Like if your uncle is filling up his buffet plate a little too high at the wedding reception, he’s having an orgy in Macy’s window! Feel free to use it any time.)
Anthony Rizzo – 3-for-4 with his 12th homer and 2nd in as many games. Yeah, you should totally drop him. Useless!
Chris Perez – Ripped ownership about their commitment to win. He’s right, they’re not committed to win. If they were, Pestano would be the closer. For only $10,000, the Indians could’ve bailed out Wesley Snipes and had a leadoff batter, but they were tapped paying the premiums for Grady Sizemore’s insurance.
Jered Weaver – An MRI revealed tendinitis and Weaver is out of his start this weekend. With Chris Perez’s comments and this bad news for Weaver, yesterday set back the mullet movement twenty years, which puts it right around the time when it was cool.

If you only looked at Billingsly’s face you would have no idea he looked like that from neck down… I’m amazed every time i see him on TV…
@beardcrabs, HA! For some reason, that sounded like a confessional to me from someone close to Bills that wants him to diet….
In your “porn”, which I assume is from a company called stauche productions, does SAGNOF stand for Sluts Ain’t Got No Face?
@Jack Full of Hate, Ha, yes, of course…
Grady Sizemore was a terrible signing. How do you ink a guy to a deal that’s had 2 microfracture knee surgeries and hasn’t been able to play more than 71 & 33 games total in the previous two years!?!??!
The tribes pitching was still going to let them down at some point, and it’s a huge weakness, but there’s no reason we couldn’t have allocated that $4M to someone else with healthy knees, ANYONE! Stop being committed to guys because you feel bad for them tribe! Or because there’s 20 teenage girls who have a fan club, eff! It’s too early to rant, but rooting for cleveland all your life does this too you!
@Tony, Yeah, bizarre contract that no one would’ve considered without it being incentive laden… Kinda sad that $4 million is a lot for the Indians too when some teams spend twice that on middle men…
Ros pick 2
Hammel
Britton
Straily
Lester(currently own)
Ejax(currently own)
Miley(currently own)
Is pagan or reynolds worth dropping instead of one of my pitchers?
I have pence Bruce werth choo rollins longoria fielder Philips
Wilson wainwright fher anderson gio
@DRew, Jackson, Miley… Drop Pagan…
Would you grab Straily or Cashner?
@Jermo, Cashner
Have 2 spots to stream tonight
Do u like any?or none?
Nielsen vs braves
Maholm vs mets
Liriano vs kc
Skaggs at sd
Please rank
Thanks
@Mike, Niese, there’s no #2… Skaggs…
I have Beltre, LaRoche and Bruce on one team – having an orgy in Macy’s window! And, in first place.
@Mr. Rickey, Ha, nice!
Can smell some potential value in arms Lester, Haren and Timmy next year. All guys who are still young enough and have a great track record of success.
How much in dollars can you see these guys going for next year, and would they be a bargain in your eyes?
@TheNewGuy, Yeah, I could see bounce backs… Haren’s not in the same class… Lester and Lincecum will go for around $10…
Grey – do you put out an offseason column projecting the closers for 2013? Im trying to decide which middle relievers to keep.
@Nelson Santovenia, Yeah, that’ll be around…
SON seems to like Niese today, and he/she/it hasn’t failed me yet (knock on wood…), but is Cashner at home against Arizona actually a better start? I have a streaming spot on my roster but I’m limited in transactions and I already have The Adverb going today.
@Poo Holes, Niese is slightly better, Cashner’s on a pitch count tonight…
Need a streamer today: Bailey or Cashner? Or Both?
@blairtch, Both
Grey, this is Dan Straily’s probable schedule:
@LAA
vs. Baltimore
@NYY
@Texas
Still think he’s a good pickup?
@Roman, Rangers could be resting guys by the time he gets there, Angels and Baltimore at home, he could be fine there… It’s obviously not ideal…
I have to drop one SP now that Hammel is off the DL. Which one:
Cashner
Beckett
Garcia
Hammel
And would you drop another one for Straily?
@Charles, Beckett…Nope…
yahoo h2h league….would you drop Lester, Cashner, or Holland for Straily and/or Tommy Hanson.
Would you drop Reddick for Mark Reynolds?
TIA
@Jack,
Oof….Straily’s schedule: @ Angels, Orioles, @ Yankees, @ Rangers. Maybe not him.
@Jack, I’d hold on the pitchers…. I’d lose Reddick for Reynolds…
Mornin’ Grey,
I’m obviously dropping McCarthy today, but I’d like you to take a look at my pitching lineup and let me know a) who I should replace McCarthy with; and b) if there are any other moves I should be making:
SPs – Greinke, Medlen, Detwiler, Minor, Anibal, Cashner, McCarthy
RPs – Perez, Wilhelmsen, Holland, League
Available FAs: Hommy Tanson, Samardzija, Hisashi Iwakuma, Marco Estrada, Casey Kelly, Bud Norris, Eric Stults, Alex Cobb, Ronald Belisario.
————————
Now, the key is next week…as you are probably already aware, I currently have a BYE week and my entire season rests on the upcoming week beginning Monday. Who gets McCarthy’s spot? And any other moves worth making?
Thanks so much Grey.
@Chillmodious, Iwakuma for McCarthy… I’d stream Anibal’s spot… If it’s weekly then I’d go with Stults for his 2 starts next week…
Still waiting for the video of your grandpa:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/06/gangnam-style-mom_n_1860559.html
@L-Boogie, HA! Nothing says bonding with mom like teaching her to Gangnam style.
What’s up with the razzball apps? Is ff going to be updated?
@Spin, We’re doing some work on the back end for that, I’m pretty computer stupid, so I’m not sure how long it’s going to take or what’s involved…. Sorry about that…. The site itself is mobile friendly so you should be able to look right at it at football.razzball.com/
Sorry, Grey, but I have to disagree. Jered Weaver (before his recent haircut) and Chris Perez have cool looking hair, whether you consider it a “mullet” or not. Add Jeff Samardzjida, Andrew McCutcheon, and Mike Leake to that list, too, pleeeez. Don’t worry, I would defend your mustache in the same manner.
@Molly Lee, I’m going to assume you’re a girl by your username… So thank you so much on the mustache defensive, you’re pretty.
Grey,
H2H league coming into the playoffs, looking for pitchers to carry through three weeks to achieve glory.
Can you pick 2 from below:
Britton
Hammel
Straily
Kendrick
Thank you, you handsome Sonnavab****
@MattW, Hammel, Straily… Thanks!
@Grey, just to pile on all these pitcher questions… I need to replace McCarthy. Who out of Straily, Cashner, and Samardizijia will help me most in the playoffs? Thanks.
@I-Man, Cashner
THIS, forever. —-> http://cdn.theatlantic.com/static/mt/assets/international/EjzIJ.gif
@Chillmodious, FOREVER!
@Chillmodious, wallpaper on my phone.. thanks! This should spark some conversation tonight haha
Oh, speaking of Gangnam Style (which is all I speak about, really)…don’t know if you knew about this, but I just read a quote from an article posted about a week ago: “On Monday, a worker at L.A.’s Dodger stadium noticed ["Psy"] Park in the stands and played “Gangnam Style” over the stadium P.A. system as excited baseball fans spontaneously reproduced Park’s distinct dance in the video.”
Chavez Ravine: where Gangnam Style happens.
@Chillmodious, Holy balls, I just read that Psy attended Boston University. Cop to it, Grey… you’re the real Park Jaesang, aren’t you?!
@Chillmodious, In LA, went to BU, have a mustache that’s not a Fu Man Chu one… Not Gangnam style… My goal this offseason is to watch Breaking Bad, number two goal is to infiltrate Gangnam Style posse and ride imaginary horses all winter on a ranch in Utah….
@Grey, wait, was that a rap grey? Cuz thats how i read it..
I’m always rapping… Straily, Estrada, Liriano crapping… See?
@Grey, very nice!
@Prezii, Say that thrice…with a side of rice…but if that’s your vice…you should eat it in Seoul with some Gangnam spice. Oppan!
http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/363/838/602.png
@Chillmodious, the pictures keep getting better and better! If i was a chick id be gettin wetter and wetter.. she tried to eat my rice, but i just wouldnt let er! Op…op…oppan gangnam style!
Grey,
J. Happ: @BOS
C. Kelly (SD): ARI
C. De Vries: CLE
Which two Saturday starts do you like best in 12 team, h2h, quality starts league?
@Whiskey Diet, Kelly, De Vries…
Hammel is available in one of my leagues and so is Straily.
Which of the following should I drop or which 2 to drop to pick one or both of them up. I currently need K’s and W’s:
Peavy
Estrada
Cashner
Miley
Samardzija
Thanks
Estrada, Samardzija…
Do you think Berkman is worth a waiver claim?
Also, who should I be using during this McCann slide?
Jaso, Donaldson, or Kratz?
thanks Grey
No on Berkman… Donaldson…
13 team 5×5 roto…who should i drop for wandy…estrada samardzija,minor, or jason hammel
Estrada
Has Corbin already been shut down? I just noticed that he doesn’t have any projected starts listed…
If so, would you add Kendrick, Iwakama, Britton or Estrada to replace him?
Only downside is Corbin has keeper eligibility for me and any of these new guys wouldn’t. Can you see a scenario where I would want to keep Corbin over Anderson, Medlen or Capuano? All would be priced the same for me. If he’s the last option of those 4, then he’s easy to drop.
I’d add Iwakuma… He’s a drop for keepers…
@Grey, is Iwakuma a safe start tomorrow v OAK?
I’d start him tomorrow in every league…
Who do you like better for monday? Stults or Mchugh?
SON has Mchugh by 2. Watcha gonna do?? Am i a foo? Im havin a good friday, i hope you are too! *drops mic and gangnam styles off the stage*
Stults… My house is on stilts, those don’t rhyme, that’s my my caterpillar molts…
@Grey, baby, call me crazy, but ive dropped and picked up straily daily.. people probably think im gay, G!
Would it be crazy to drop timmy for a streamer? And wat would you rather have? A Bentley or a Beamer?
I’d have no problem with losing Timmy, I don’t like his shimmy…
Gallardo has terrible career #s vs StL. 7.05 ERA in 67.2 IP. He had two nuclear starts against them earlier this season (2 IP 8 ER, 3.2 IP 6 ER). I went back and looked at past seasons to see how much these starts skewed the #s. And as it turns out, they don’t at all.
If he has one of his usual blowups against StL, today, Gallardo may have a tough time finishing the year without an ERA below 4.00 for the first time in his career.
Should make a nice value for next year, at the worst…
A couple notes…
Note #1: Not sure if this has been said before, but with the Padres going to a 6-man ro-ro, Stults was pushed to Tuesday…and there’s a good chance he won’t make his next start until the following Monday (i.e. no 2-start week).
Note #2: http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/363/834/d00.gif
Note #3:
Damn, that sucks on Stults, hadn’t heard that… DAH! Thanks for the heads up!
Best GIF ever, btw…
@Chillmodious, Oh wow, great note (#1). THANKS. I was about to grab Stults, but if it’s just one start vs StL, even in Petco, meh…
@Carnac, No problem. Personally, I think #2 was a better note.
@Chillmodious, god damnit i just picked him up…
@Prezii, Dah! I should’ve been quicker. Well, on the bright side, he’s still a hodgepadre in Petco, so you’ll still have Tuesday if nothing else.
@Chillmodious, i literally just clicked off the page from yahoo and came back here to see that (sad emoction)
Beltran: 1-5
Holiday: 3-5 with a Homer and 2 K’s
Thats the only hitters who have seen stults on the cards. Heres to hoping they cant figure out that rainbow curve..
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