Rockies Call Up Beck Cuz They’re Sick Of Being Loser Babies

At the Consumer Electronics Show this past year in Vegas, Rockies manager Bud Black was there showcasing his newest sunglasses, they’re called ProspBlockers. Here, I’ll let you hear it directly from the man on his infomercial. “Sick of seeing upside? When you look forward are you sick of ‘looking forward to better things?’ I know […]

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Nick Senz-L-O-V-E To His Adoring Fan

by: Grey

Yesterday, Nick Senzel went 2-for-6, 5 RBIs with his 4th and 5th homer. That’s five homers in a week for him! He’s only played ten games all year! Well, of course he has, the 11th game for Senzel is like midnight for Cinderella. ACKSUALLY! Call him Senzella! He’s a Godzilla meets Cinderella monster! Rawr! Watch […]

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You Can Buy Heston From My Cold, Dead Hands

April 26, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell, Featured | 257 Comments

by: Grey

Imagine you’re in a deli waiting for a pastrami on rye. Not just any pastrami on rye, but the best pastrami on rye. Like all delis, you have to take a number. So, you pull a number and it’s number two. Not bad! You only have to wait one person! You can do that! So, […]

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Simeon Says, “Let My First Start Be Against The White Sox”

April 25, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 231 Comments

by: Grey

So, here’s where I give you the grain of salt. The White Sux suck. Their team name is White Sux. No worse sucking than a team named Sux. The heart of their lineup is Mendick/Sheets, which is as exciting as the Orthodox Jewish sex image it elicits. Their team batting average is .189! They are […]

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Cody So-Ribweak Becomes Pete Crow-Armstrong

April 24, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 328 Comments

by: Grey

Ton of injuries yesterday, huh? You ever go to your waiver wire page in each league and type in the injured player’s name to see who has the injured player? Then when I see someone else has the player I say, “Ooh, too bad,” sarcastically, and when I have the player I say it sincerely. […]

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Keeping One Eye On Fedde

April 23, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 347 Comments

by: Grey

This past preseason I went to Japan, which is close enough to Korea, so I am an expert on Korean Baseball Organization’s import Erick Fedde (6 IP, 1 ER, 3 hits, zero walks, 11 Ks, ERA at 2.73.) Do I know for sure the O in KBO stands for Organization? No, it could stand for […]

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Elder Man Has Miami Retirement Plans

April 22, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 315 Comments

by: Grey

I want to talk about Bryce Elder, but first I have to ask is Taylor Swift’s new album an ode to Casey Anthony? I’ve watched the Investigation Discovery true crime documentaries too, Swifties! What is going on here with this track list? I demand answers! [gets dragged away in straitjacket] I will not be silenced! […]

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Don’t Fear The Patriarchy With A Gil P. Add

April 21, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 454 Comments

by: Grey

Some pitchers have a “Hitters can’t get comfortable against them” quality. Whether it’s fear that they’re going to get hit because of the pitcher’s lack of control or if it’s the movement on the stuff, it’s a quality that I don’t think any stats measure well. Lack of command + Nastiness = Uneasy. The only […]

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I’ve Been Reduced To Being A Luised Garcia Salesman

April 19, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell, Featured | 349 Comments

by: Grey

On the podcast the other day, I compared Jordan Westburg to Bo Bichette, and BDon stopped the podcast, called his job and told them he needed two years off to organize a music festival called, “Grey’s Finally Admitted About Overrating Bo-Chella.” At Bo-Chella, as it will be known colloquially, the headliners will be Jordan Westburg, […]

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Rangers Supply the Leiter, Tigers Provided The Fluid

April 18, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 165 Comments

by: Grey

Jack Leiter (3 2/3 IP, 7 ER) made his debut yesterday, and his stuff looks primo nasty with a side of broccolini cause homeboy is green. Jack Leiter also looks like he can’t control anything. Just chucking the ball five inches off the plate for the entire outing. Wonder if his father Al doesn’t like […]

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Houck Yeah

April 17, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 312 Comments

by: Grey

Ya know how they used to say a complete game under 100 pitches was a Maddux? Well, kids, the only way a pitcher is ever throwing a complete game again is if it’s under 100 pitches. A complete game equals Maddux. There’s no non-Maddux complete games anymore. Right? I’m not being coy. Can’t imagine any […]

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Dodgers Outfield Printing 1/3 Pages

April 16, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 361 Comments

by: Grey

Dodgers called up Andy Pages (1-for-4, 1 run) But, for all you Anglo em-effers, it’s Pagés. As in, “I shot an elephant in my Pagés.” “How did the elephant get in your Pagés?” As in, check out my pee-jays — [walks out in feety pajamas that are all pink and have a bunny tail] If […]

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Author: Grey

Read some of Grey's 4614 posts

Rockies Call Up Beck Cuz They’re Sick Of Being Loser Babies

Nick Senz-L-O-V-E To His Adoring Fan

You Can Buy Heston From My Cold, Dead Hands

Simeon Says, “Let My First Start Be Against The White Sox”

Cody So-Ribweak Becomes Pete Crow-Armstrong

Keeping One Eye On Fedde

Elder Man Has Miami Retirement Plans

Don’t Fear The Patriarchy With A Gil P. Add

I’ve Been Reduced To Being A Luised Garcia Salesman

Rangers Supply the Leiter, Tigers Provided The Fluid

Houck Yeah

Dodgers Outfield Printing 1/3 Pages