Everywhere you look, it says Mike Yastrzemski is the best Giants hitter. *you carefully crack into a fortune cookie, you read about how Mike Yastrzemski is the best Giants hitter, slowly you look up* I told you. Everywhere. Don’t doubt me again. More people agree on Mike Yastrzemski being the best Giants hitter than anything else in this country. It’s the last thing that binds us. If Brandon Belt becomes the Giants’ best hitter, we will completely unravel. Sadly, being the best Giants hitter is like being the world’s tallest midget. Similarly, Mike Yastrzemski fits under the idea of most other players’ ceilings. In JKJ’s piece on NL West DH candidates, he mentions Yaz Jr. Jr., while also mentioning Wilmer Flores, and that’s prolly the name there to keep in mind for their DH spot. Or as I said in the Joey Bart dart throw, Posey could DH while Bart catches. Yaz Jr. Jr. doesn’t need the DH. He is the Giants’ best hitter — have you already forgotten? It’s the one thing that unites us! Yaz 2.0 won’t DH most days; he’ll just play the field. Either way, he’ll play every day. He’s the Giants’ best hitter! So, what can we expect from Mike Yastrzemski for 2020 fantasy baseball and what makes him a great dart throw?

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How did I come to this dart throw? Thanks for asking, Clunky Intro! I looked at NFBC’s ADP and, specifically, for who was being drafted after 300th overall, i.e., late eh-eff. I eye-spied Jonathan Schoop, and was like, “Ooh, is he that bad? I don’t think he is, but maybe I’m remembering things differently during my ninth month of the preseason. Am I seeing something that isn’t there? I can’t be. I’m so unbiased. Really, I am as impartial as human nature will allow. An even-keeled down-to-earth, extremely handsome, well-coiffed Fantasy Master Lothario.” Then I looked at Steamer projections for 2nd basemen (go to that page and type 2B into the column for positions), and saw something that knocked off my socks, and I was wearing stirrups to avoid such needlessly undressing of my feet. Look at these projections:  58/18/50/.240/2 in 316 ABs vs. 41/16/47/.262/1 in 318 ABs. The 2nd one is Jonathan Schoop. Obviously less runs, but way better average, which makes everything kinda equal there. Yes, twenty points in average evens out the runs, and, while you might say average is fickle, so will runs in a shortened season. Those numbers just aren’t that different. The problem is the 1st guy is being drafted 69th overall and, as high as the top 25 (though, that’s silly). One guy goes top 70 and another guy being drafted after 300? That’s crazy. Any ideas who the 1st guy is? Yes, Max Muncy, well done. You win an imaginary pat on the back. So, what can we expect from Jonathan Schoop for 2020 fantasy baseball and what makes him a great dart throw?

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Material on Razzball about Lane Thomas is scant to say the least, also scant is to say the least, coincidentally. When you search all mentions of Lane Thomas here, you see me, Prospect Mike, JKJ, Prospect Ralph, and Big Magoo all mentioning him once. And barely. The largest entry of all three is from Prospect Mike saying, “Thomas put up outstanding numbers AA and AAA in 2018 – 27 homers, 17 steals. The damper is that this power burst came out of the clear blue sky and most reports still have him pegged as a fourth outfielder in the big leagues. Another glitch is his health history – which isn’t exactly…healthy. He’s on the 40-man and could see some action this summer in St. Louis, and Grey is a total loser.” Wow, what did I ever do? Prospect Mike was talking about Lane Thomas for last year too, by the by, so he was right. About Thomas seeing some action, not about me! C’mon! Last year in a small sample, he hit 4 HRs, stole one bag and hit .316 with only a .308 BABIP, which was in 38 ABs. That was after a 10/11/.268 year in Triple-A in 265 ABs. He fractured his wrist in August, which cut his breakout short, so Mike was right about his health history too. Being about 11 months since that wrist injury, he should be totally fine. So, what should we expect from Lane Thomas for 2020 fantasy baseball and what makes him a great dart throw?

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A calendar page flies off and we follow it to the ground. We can’t quite make out the date on it yet, then the wind whips up hard and slams the page into a screen door. There, it ominously flaps against the screen door and we see the date. It reads…*dramatic sting*…March. Grey picks, because he’s writing this in third person, the piece of paper off the screen door and casually reads it. Slowly, across his face, a dawning of hell, it’s March 98th, 2020! AHHHHHH!!! Screams echo out–*shoots up in bed* Oh, wait, it’s June, 2020. Haha, silly dreamscape of hell. You’re so dumb, subconscious brain. Go back to hiding amongst all my baseball knowledge and factoids. So, today, I bring you my 1,789th Dart Throw, Daniel Vogelbach. Just think, by September, I will have profiled every baseball player as someone to draft. If only you were in a 30-team league with 178-man benches. Shucks, really. I kid, of course, because any day now we’re going to find out whether or not there’s gonna be a baseball season. I do believe a 100-game shortened season is still possible, but, ya know, they kinda need to figure shizz out sooner vs. later, and it’s not a great look when the MLB wants to play less baseball. So, what can we expect from Daniel Vogelbach for 2020 fantasy baseball and what makes him a great dart throw?

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On this week’s Patreon podcast, we welcome, Ben Sisto, artist, curator and star of the documentary, Who Let The Dogs Out. Yes, as in the song. *insert barking* The documentary — available on Hulu — Who Let the Dogs out — tells the story of Ben Sisto and how he went looking for the origins of the Who Let The Dogs Out song. You ever Google one topic on the internet like “What’s so great about Britain” and five hours later find yourself watching someone make homemade tortillas? That’s what this documentary feels like in some ways — what started from an innocuous moment on the Wikipedia page of Who Let The Dogs Out sent Ben on a 10-year odyssey to find out, finally, who, actually, let out the dogs.

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This is a less-than-straight-forward dart throw. “Watch your head! Incoming dart!” Mostly because Rowdy Tellez has a minefield of playing time concerns. I don’t fully trust Travis Shaw, even though I predicted he’d win the NL MVP in 2019. That never stops getting funny. You can mock me about Delino DeShields Jr. You can call me a giant dope for five years of adulation over Josh Rutledge and Ian Stewart. You can even say I might’ve been a little goofy about loving German Marquez last year. But calling Travis Shaw my preseason NL MVP selection is so off-the-wall bonkers in retrospect, even I have to shake my head. How many players qualified for the 2019 NL MVP? 300? 400? Well, I think he finished dead last. Yo, Grey, you are smart in the opposite sense of that word. Any hoo! Travis Shaw is blocking Rowdy Tellez. At worst, Shaw is a platoon player, which hurts Tellez and Shaw, and, in a shortened season, I don’t want any part of any platoon player, outside of daily leagues with bench hitters capable of filling in. In a shortened season, maximizing at-bats is going to be critical. Optimism for Rowdy Tellez will also incidentally hurt Teoscar Hernandez, another dart throw, and Derek Fisher, who I like more than most (and might Dart Throw too). As Karens say, something’s gotta give, as they snap for help at nail salons. If Rowdy plays 1st base and Shaw gets DH, Fisher goes to the bench or to the outfield in place of Teoscar. Not great for those other guys, but Rowdy can be interesting in his own right. Audience screams, “Tellez something we don’t know!” I’m about to. So, what can we expect from Rowdy Tellez for 2020 fantasy baseball and what makes him a great dart throw?

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A subplot of this stand-off between the MLB and MLBPA is how duplicitous will MLB teams be in their excuses to not promote a top prospect if there’s no minor league season, which seems assured, at this point. What will the Orioles say to not promote Adley Rutschman? “We really wanted to promote Adley but we lost his phone number and they’ve discontinued 411, go figure.” “We wanted to promote Adley, but, after reading the Kama Sutra, we’re inclined to withhold climax for six to nine months.” “We did promote Adley. He’s now in charge of selling season tickets for the 2021 season. We have faith he can handle the promotion.” One thing they can’t say with a straight face: “We really wanted to promote Adley Rutschman but he’s not ready.” So, they hold him down and he misses a full year of development? That seems dumb, even for them. However, you can’t go too wrong betting MLB teams will be dumb. Yes, I’m saying I’m not 100% guaranteeing Adley Rutschman sees real playing time this year, but he’s got a lot more of a chance this year now, than he had before. “Did someone say Chance?” Shut up, Chance Sisco! So, what can we expect from Adley Rutschman for 2020 fantasy baseball and what makes him a great dart throw?

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Singing a’la Ethel Merman, “I……saac Paredes!” You ever wonder if Ethel Merman was an actual merman, the fabled marine creature with the head and upper body of a man and the tail of a fish? Well, I do. It keeps me up at night, actually. Cougs rolls over in the middle of the night, and sees my eyes are open, as I stare at the ceiling. Finally, she asks, “Are you thinking about Ethel Merman again?” Sullenly, I nod my head, then I turn to her, “She was so…fascinating.” Any hoo! Isaac Paredes is brought to you by me, after Podcaster Ralph brought him to my attention. True story alert! I woke up yesterday at 7 AM from a text message that read from Ralph, “I have your next Dart Throw.” Groggy (after thinking about Ethel Merman all night), I replied, “Who…?” And thus began a back and forth of Ralph telling me Jeimer Candelario wouldn’t be starting at 3rd base this year for the Tigers, and I……saac Paredes would. Back in January, which was approximately 18 months ago in real time, Prospect Itch said Isaac Paredes was a solid pick in 50-round draft and hold leagues, i.e., Draft Champion leagues. With no minor leagues this year, and Paredes on the 40-man roster, and a Latin 21 years old, and every team having a chance in a shortened season, why, I ask, not? He’s definitely going late (NFBC ADP 748), and is a guy who will be available in the deepest of leagues, even your 12-team AL-Only whosie-ma-jigs. So, what can we expect from Isaac Paredes for 2020 fantasy baseball and what makes him a great dart throw?

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Players are saying they want to play 114 games; owners are saying 50 games; I’ve been saying 100 games, and, if I were just guessing now for the first time, I’d split 114 and 50 and still tell you 80-100 games.

The players are saying 114 games because, well, for a myriad of reasons, I imagine. One reason might be they want to seem like they’re ready to play, but owners are holding them back. This way the players can say, “We said ‘Let’s go and play,’ but the owners said, ‘Nah, you can’t have any money, we’re poor babies, so no baseball.'” Another less cynical reason might be the players just want to play, if they’re paid. What stood out to me in the players’ proposal was the contingency that a player can sit out if they want. They don’t need to be high-risk to Covid-19. They can just say, “Yo, y’all do your thing, and I’m gonna do my thing and I’ll catch you on the flip.” So, with that in mind, and, in the highly speculative market of futures and dart throws, or simply Fu DarTh, as it’s known in most circles that rely on the Force and midi-chlorians, a guy like Mike Trout could sit out this year. Fu DarTh relies on space (on the field) and a light (on players) and dark side (of the MLB this year without its best player). Jo Adell would benefit in this space (on the field) scenario. *white text on a black screen scrolls out with the MLBPA proposal, suddenly, a SWOOSH, and a giant Joe Maddon head overtakes the dark space* It will give Joe Maddon less options to use instead of Adell, too. Keep your nonsense with playing Brian Goodwin, if you must. Assume Justin Upton gets on the field, if you have to. If Mike Trout’s not there, Jo Adell will have to be. By the way, I mention this on Trout, because he’s already said he doesn’t want to play if it means he can’t leave the team to be with his wife for the birth of their child. Plus, Trout’s set for life; he doesn’t need this headache. Finally, I haven’t even mentioned how rosters will be expanded and there won’t be minor leagues this year. Even if Mike Trout plays, Jo Adell should too. So, what can we expect from Jo Adell for 2020 fantasy baseball and what makes him a great dart throw?

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