In the vast world of fast food, food, and fine dinning, you’ll find your pick of the garnishes to the delight your tastebuds. Some will be salty and some will be sweet, but only a pickle can be some of each. No where on earth such a veggie exists, you’ll it eat on burgers, and sausage, and fish. I run to the store to share some with friends, that here is the place where this story book ends. Or maybe begins as I took out my sack and I shared with my kins, cause I’m the pickleman mack. I gave one to Grey, Smokey, and Jay, I gave one to Tehol but he put it away. No, no silly Beddict keep that out of your rectum, these pickles are delicious I demand you respect them. Dan Pants said here, here as he munched on a gherkin, but Tehol didn’t hear he was too busy twerkin. Magoo and J-Foh enjoyed their half sours, as Jack waxed poetic about hating Joe Mauers. All was well in Razzland oh sweet pickled cucumber, it’s Two start pitchers, week I forget the number.
So big changes this week to the two start post, and I think the you’ll agree it’s for the better. I ramble less and instead provide you with a wide range of stats to justify my rankings. That’s better right? Hopefully I don’t leave you with a burning feeling like that girl in your dorm that had Daddy issues. Oh yeah and pickles!
BTW when you’re done here go read soccer, it’s good I swear!
Half Sours (Aces) – Week 16 less filler more numbers! These are the best kind of pickles, there’s nothing like the olde classic deli half sour. The young guns are way up high this week and it’s the matchups that weigh heavy. High K% teams and sterling home numbers for J-Fer and Thor.
| Player | Opponents | Opp 1 wOBA vs Handedness | Opp 2 wOBA vs Handedness | Home/Road xFIP/FIP/ERA | Opp 1 K%vs LH/RH | Opp 2 K% vs LH/RH |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Jose Fernandez | vs. WAS, vs. SD | .313 (T-14th) | .289 (29th) | H – 1.76/1.61/2.08 | 21% (7th) | 22% (5th) |
| Noah Syndergaard | vs. SD, vs. WAS | .289 (29th) | .313 (T-14th) | H 2.86/2.24/1.74 | 22% (5th) | 21% (7th) |
| David Price | @TB, @BAL | .320 (5th) | .304 (T-16th) | A – 3.36/2.92/1.65 | 22.3% (10th) | 21.8% (13th) |
| Sonny Gray | @LAD, vs. CLE | .333 (2nd) | .305 (T-20th) | H (3.84/3.68/2.84) A (2.98/2.33/1.84) | 19.9% (15th) | 18.4% (25th) |
| Masahiro Tanaka | @TEX, @CWS | .326 (T-7th) | .297 (T-24th) | A 2.63/2.94/2.78 | 19.6% (17th) | 20.1% (14th) |
Kosher Dill (Good Starts) – Kosher dills are the bomb on sandwiches, these guys are the bomb when they are started twice. Totally the same thing. Lance Lynn joins the dills due to the matchup with Colorado who just kill RHP. Otherwise two home starts for Lynn typically scream go Ace go! Or maybe that’s Gene Simmons in a Kiss backstage orgy. Shark has been coming on of late finally justifying the faith many of us had on draft day, Brady Quinn’s former safety valve has two tough matchups @Boston and home against the Jank-keys. The Muppet gets two home starts, expect him to go Animal. BTW is this his walkup music? I hope so. The Iwakuma revival is coming, tell yo kids, tell yo wife, we reviving errbody up in here. 5 year old internet jokes are my specialty.
| Player | Opponents | Opp 1 wOBA vs Handedness | Opp 2 wOBA vs Handedness | Home/Road xFIP/FIP/ERA | Opp 1 K%vs LH/RH | Opp 2 K% vs LH/RH |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Lance Lynn | vs. CIN, vs. COL | .312 (T-16th) | .339 (1st) | H 3.19/2.50/1.83 | 18.6% (24th) | 19.8% (16th) |
| Jordan Zimmermann | @MIA, @NYM | .292 (26th) | .290 (28th) | A 3.85/3.29/4.67 | 20.2% (13th) | 20.3% (12th) |
| Jeff Samardzija | @BOS, vs. NYY | .316 (12th) | .330 (4th) | H 3.39/2.96/2.86 A 4.24/4.03/4.84 | 16.5% (29th) | 18.9% (23rd) |
| John Lackey | vs. CIN, vs. COL | .312 (T-16th) | .339 (1st) | H 3.58/2.70/1.97 | 18.6% (24th) | 19.8% (16th) |
| Chris Heston | vs. MIl, @TEX | .313 (T-14th) | .326 (T-7th) | H 3.23/2.63/2.57 A 3.61/3.80/3.86 | 20.4% (11th) | 19.6% (17th) |
| Hisashi Iwakuma | vs. ARI, @MIN | .315 (13th) | .305 (T-20th) | H 3.74/5.82/4.81 A 3.01/4.20/4.08 | 20.9% (8th) | 20.6% (9th) |
| Kyle Hendricks | vs. COL, @MIL | .339 (1st) | .313 (T-14th) | H 2.83/3.50/2.81 A 3.67/3.03/4.31 | 19.8% (16th) | 20.4% (11th) |
| Mike Leake | @STL, vs. PIT | .320 (11th) | .306 (19th) | H 3.80/4.37/4.93 A 3.39/3.49/2.57 | 19% (T-20th) | 20.5% (10th) |
Spicy Dills (Why Can’t I Sit You!) – Are these pickles good are they bad? I can’t tell you make my brain hurt. James Shields out of Petco is a scary proposition. Collin McHugh is an enigma wrapped in a riddle force fed to a Sphinx. What does that mean? As Funk Doctor would say “laugh now and figure it out when your ass get home.” Edinson Volquez has been very solid on the road but I don’t trust him. He’ll probably be okay in Cleveland, but is anyone really ever okay in the mistake by the lake?
| Player | Opponents | Opp 1 wOBA vs Handedness | Opp 2 wOBA vs Handedness | Home/Road xFIP/FIP/ERA | Opp 1 K%vs LH/RH | Opp 2 K% vs LH/RH |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| James Shields | @NYM, @MIA | .290 (28th) | .292 (26th) | A 3.42/4.22/5.01 | 20.3% (12th) | 20.2% (13th) |
| Edinson Volquez | @CLE, @TOR | .305 (20th) | .329 (5th) | A | 18.4% (25th) | 19% (21st) |
| Collin McHugh | vs. LAA, vs. ARI | .311 (18th) | .315 (13th) | H 3.67/3.57/4.88 | 19.4% (18th) | 20.9% (8th) |
Gherkins (One Good Start/One Bad Start) – So Gherkins are good pickles just really small. Small isn’t good for anyone but toddlers and girls who like cute stuff. Don’t be a Gherkin.
| Player | Opponents | Opp 1 wOBA vs Handedness | Opp 2 wOBA vs Handedness | Home/Road xFIP/FIP/ERA | Opp 1 K%vs LH/RH | Opp 2 K% vs LH/RH |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Anibal Sanchez | @TB, @BAL | .291 (27th) | .322 (T-9th) | A 3.46/4.11/4.17 | 22.1% (4th) | 22.4% (3rd) |
| Julio Teheran | @BAL, @PHI | .322 (T-9th) | .285 (30th) | A 4.61/5.99/6.95 | 22.4% (3rd) | 19% (T-20th) |
| Jorge De La Rosa | @CHC, @STL | .323 (5th) | .293 (T-22nd) | A 3.73/3.73/1.93 | 22.4% (9th) | 23.7% (3rd) |
| Trevor Bauer | vs. KC, @OAK | .326 (T-7th) | .312 (16th) | H 4.05/4.64/6.16 A 3.94/3.85/2.47 | 15.9% (30th) | 17.50% |
| Alex Wood | @BAL, @PHI | .304 (T-16th) | .309 (14th) | A 3.96/3.19/3.11 | 21.8% (T-13th) | 20.9% (16th) |
| Ubaldo Jimenez | vs. ATL, vs. DET | .305 (T-20th) | .332 (3rd) | H 2.53/2.15/2.06 | 17.5% (T-27th) | 19.3% (19th) |
| Michael Montgomery | vs. ARI, @MIN | .319 (6th) | .298 (20th) | H 4.08/3.59/3.15 A 4.40/4.49/3.38 | 20.5% (20th) | 19.7% (24th) |
| Mike Fiers | @SF, vs. CHC | .327 (6th) | .297 (T-24th) | H 3.77/4.75/4.33 A 3.97/2.78/3.44 | 18.1% (26th) | 24.5%(2nd) |
| Chris Young | @CLE, @TOR | .305 (20th) | .329 (5th) | A 4.99/4.64/2.49 | 18.4% (25th) | 19% (21st) |
| Robbie Ray | @SEA, @HOU | .294 (T-21st) | .316 (10th) | A 4.28/2.91/1.35 | 20.8% (17th) | 22.8% (7th) |
| Wade Miley | vs. CWS, vs. TB | .259 (30th) | .320 (5th) | H 3.63/2.98/4.68 | 22.2% (11th) | 22.3% (10th) |
| Ivan Nova | @TEX, @CWS | .326 (T-7th) | .297 (T-24th) | H 5.75/4.59/2.55 A 3.71/4.21/4.50 | 19.6% (17th) | 20.1% (14th) |
Bread and Butter (Avoid These Starts) – You have to be an absolute savage to enjoy these. Sweet pickles? save it for the relish Zeke!
| Player | Opponents | Opp 1 wOBA vs Handedness | Opp 2 wOBA vs Handedness | Home/Road xFIP/FIP/ERA | Opp 1 K%vs LH/RH | Opp 2 K% vs LH/RH |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Matt Shoemaker | @HOU, @LAD | .323 (9th) | .333 (2nd) | A 4.03/4.25/5.06 | 25.1% (1st) | 19.9% (15th) |
| Nate Karns | vs. DET, @BOS | .330 (3rd) | .315 (12th) | H 4.03/4.13/4.03 A 3.47/3.20/2.82 | 19.4% (19th) | 16.5% (29th) |
| Cody Anderson | vs. KC, @OAK | .325 (8th) | .311 (17th) | H 4.45/3.90/.63 A 3.73/3.71/2.89 | 16% (30th) | 17.5% (28th) |
| Charlie Morton | @MIN, @ CIN | .307 (T-19th) | .313 (T-14th) | A 4.63/5.75/7.82 | 20.5% (10th) | 18.6% (24th) |
| Kevin Gausman | vs. ATL, vs. DET | .304 (22nd) | .330 (3rd) | H 4.06/2.42/1.93 | 17.6% (27th) | 19.4% (19th) |
| John Danks | @BOS, vs. NYY | .293 (T-22nd) | .319 (8th) | H 4.57/4.11/3.90 A 4.39/4.55/5.68 | 19.6% (24th) | 18.8% (25th) |
| Mike Pelfrey | vs. PIT, vs. SEA | .307 (19th) | .301 (23rd) | H 3.88/3.31/2.22 | 20.7% (9th) | 21.7% (6th) |
| Kyle Lohse | @SF, vs. CHC | .328 (5th) | .297 (T-24th) | H 4.47/6.03/8.15 A 3.79/4.00/4.45 | 18.1% (26th) | 24.4% (2nd) |
| Martin Perez | vs. NYY, vs. SF | .319 (8th) | .307 (15th) | N/A | 18.8% (25th) | 20% (21st) |
| Raisel Iglesias | @STL, vs. PIT | .320 (11th) | .307 (19th) | H 3.96/3.25/4.10 A 4.09/4.14/9.72 | 19% (T-21st) | 20.7% (9th) |
| Felix Doubront | vs. PHI, vs. KC | .309 (T-13th) | .312 (12th) | N/A | 20.9% (16th) | 15% (30th) |
| Matt Harrison | vs. NYY, vs. SF | .319 (8th) | .307 (15th) | H 7.25/8.06/13.50 | 18.8% (25th) | 20% (21st) |
| Joe Kelly | vs. CWS, vs. TB | .297 (T-24th) | .290 (27th) | H 3.57/3.91/5.54 | 20.1% (14th) | 22% (4th) |
| Adam Morgan | @TOR, vs. ATL | .363 (1st) | .282 (28th) | H 4.83/3.49/3.31 A 5.47/7.79/5.73 | 17.2% (28th) | 21.8% (14th) |
As always these clowns are subject to change. As managers curse the existence of fantasy owners and take naps on the plastic leather couches in their office while wearing sleep apnea masks.
12 team OBP league – drop Duda for Preston Tucker?
@Cool Hunk: Yeah go for Tucker no time to wait!
Hey bud! In a h2h points league with a weekly roster lock which one of these are you adding to stream for this upcoming weeks matchup
– Iwakuma (vs d backs & godley,, start 2 is @ Minnesota & Pelfrey.)
– Kyle Hendricks (vs Rockies & Jorge de la rosa,, start 2 is @ Milwaukee & lohse.)
Thanks man! & how close are these two pitchers, close or not that close?
@Bobby’s World: Close but I prefer Iwakuma’s matchups. As illustrated above lower weighted on base averages and higher K%’s.
I like the new format, but I also enjoyed your rambling. Thanks for the article.
@Peter Nincompoop: Thanks for the feedback. More rambling next week with just as much staty-ness!
Couldn’t agree more on the bread and butter pickles. Oh, and the baseball stuff was good, too!
@Clyde Prompto: Seriously if you enjoy bread and butter pickles I encourage my children to steer clear of you.
@Ralph Lifshitz: GUTTER PALLETS!
@Clyde Prompto: Preach
@Ralph Lifshitz: reasons for the bread and butter hatred? They’re delicious. I’d like to line up pros vs cons
@NickfromtheRoc: Nope not good.
@NickfromtheRoc: They taste like spoiled fruit to me.
@Clyde Prompto: bump
Nice work. Being a pickle lover I am 100% in agreement on the rankings. Does anyone even buy bread and butter pickles?
I saw headline ad thought this however.
http://www.usapa.org/
@the great knoche: I’m happy you picked up in that. Prior to my wife’s Grandparents moving onto one of those retirement communities in Florida I had never heard of Pickleball.
Need 3: H2H Two start Monty and Heston, Gio @ NYM, Erod v TB, Salazar @ Oak. Thanks
Okay, I can use all the help I can stand. H2H as well. Which ONE sits? Two start Anibal, Carasco @Oak, Odorizzi v Det, [email protected] NYM
Thanks again.
@Chucky: Odorizzi probably but only because Cashners matchup is good.
@Chucky: Sit E-Rod against Tampa.
Reread that again please, sit Erod and one other from that list. Thanks
@chucky: Sorry it was early Montgomery.
Where would you slot in Jaime Garcia (STL) if he indeed returns Tuesday and becomes a 2-start (both in STL) pitcher this week? Thanks!
@EC: He’s a dill in front of Leake. Lol
You have to be evil to like sweet pickles over kosher dillz
@Vogt or Die: Yes this is 100% true
Brother Ralph!
Thanks for the great roundup, man! Gonna rock a few of your top 2-start guys. Let’s see what happens.
Waiting for your two-start tiers based on Pink Floyd albums, or even best songs from their debut album!
Cheers,
Ante
@Ante GALIC: I’m going to have to get it in one of these weeks.
Btw soccer sites RPL kicks off tomorrow. Make sure you get in that.
love love LOVE the new set up with the stats in a table, great work as always ralphie
@Jonny Toocash: Thanks for reading Jonny
I have Graveman and after this week, I’m considering dropping him. Would you drop him for Robbie Ray, Ervin Santana or Patrick Corbin?
@TheMuppetManiac: Yes if it’s re-draft for sure. I’d go Ray this week with the two starts.
Late to see this, but I really like the new format. Nice job.
I have a question about one Mr. Trevor Bauer. He falls in the one good start (@ A’s) and one bad start (vs. KC) category – he’s a Gherkin indeed. Now, Streamonator seems to disagree – it has the KC start at $11.4 and the Oakland start at $-13.0 (driven by 1.3 more BB and 0.7 more ERA for that start than the KC start). This made me think – okay, maybe the A’s are much more patient, but their vs. R split is a 7.1% walk rate (19th) versus the Royals at a 6.0% walk rate (29th) – not that different. My inclination would be to agree with you – the Royals are much better and that is a “bad” start.
So, my question – why should we trust our instincts over SON for Trevor Bauer this week (this is for a daily 5×5 league, so I don’t have to start him in both games)?
@Punk: I would
@Punk: I would @Ralph Lifshitz: oops I would ignore SoN and start him vs the A’s. At worst the K’s should be there. The Royals never strikeout, limits upside.
the first few lines of this are very reminiscent of the poems that open Check it Out, the Tim/Eric/JC reilly Dr. Brule spinoff project. very funny stuff. check it out dingus.