Greetings, Razzball Nation! ¬†When the offseason began, I expected to be addressing you in April¬†after all kinds of¬†doors had opened for women due to the election of our first female president of the United States. ¬†But since we‚Äôre all going to have to wait a bit longer for that whole first girl president thing, whereas I am actually writing a fantasy baseball article on the best fantasy website ever, I guess that now makes me the most powerful woman in the country. ¬†Okay, my math from November may be slightly off on that calculation, but that‚Äôs not going to stop me from giving you guys some waiver wire suggestions for NL/AL-only or other extra-deep leagues.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I think the biggest question I always get when I’m out for dinner trying to inconspicuously eat is: Who should I cuff and when should I start drafting handcuffs for the inevitable closerpocalypse? ¬†My advice is always:¬†As soon as I am done eating, I will tell you. ¬†I then proceed to give them the Irish goodbye and smile as I gleefully think that I got the best of them. ¬†But in all seriousness, the biggest question is: Do I cuff myself or do I cuff someone else’s closer?¬† Me personally, I am a “cuff someone else’s” kinda guy. ¬†This way, it gives you better odds to have another closer. ¬†Where as if you cuff yourself, you are only replacing what you already drafted to expect. ¬†So in theory, look for the best cuff options that you currently don’t own and steal them from someone else. ¬†Leaving them short and for you, the possible plus one. ¬†So with this theory in mind, I have made a list of the guys that I would want to draft first, second and so on. ¬†I have done closer lists with their back-ups, holds guys, and the pecking order and now you get the best handcuff options to draft and sit on. ¬†Enjoy!
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Soda Glover, Yoda Glover, Coda Glover, but no Koda Glover. ¬†That’s my constant struggle with my autocorrect. ¬†Let’s break down those typos, shall we? ¬†Soda Glover has been better than 7-Up and seven down. ¬†Me strike out batters you like, man with toothpick, says Yoda Glover. ¬†The concluding event at the section of the baseball game called the ninth inning will be the Coda Glover. ¬†Dusty Baker hasn’t yet named a closer, but, unless they trade for someone (and this isn’t out of the question), all indications are that Koda Glover will be the Nats’ closer. ¬†Jon Heyman wrote, “….but with Shawn Kelley not considered a closer candidate due to two past Tommy John surgeries…” ¬†Such a throwaway line. ¬†Like it’s common knowledge. ¬†Either Heyman¬†heard something from the Nats, which led him to believe everyone knew this, or Heyman’s totally in the dark. ¬†Could be either, but I’m thinking Nat-Nat-Nat-Nats’ all folks for Shawn Kelley, who has barely thrown this spring. ¬†In my fantasy baseball rankings and my top 500, I’ve moved Koda Glover above Blake Treinen and Kelley. ¬†Also, adjusted my Fantasy Baseball War Room. ¬†Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Just finished my first draft if you’re reading this as I type it, and other than one shirtless man in yellow sweatpants standing behind me in this internet cafe, I don’t think anyone’s reading this as I type it. ¬†Unless, of course, there’s micronauts living inside my brain watching as my inner monologue is sending info to my fingers. ¬†Gadzooks, I got micronauts in my brain! ¬†I wonder if these micronauts made me draft Eric Thames. ¬†I need to delve deeper into¬†this subject. ¬†Maybe I will in my pastel journal that is covered in¬†Giancarlo’s picture from ESPN’s nude magazine. ¬†So, I took on the monsters of the industry in an NL Only league that was hosted by Scott White of¬†CBS and I came away with a team that is more¬†imbalanced than¬†Amanda Bynes. ¬†This league is deep so hold onto ye old hat.¬† (If you want a shallower league, play against me and hundreds¬†of your closest buddies in the Razzball Commenter Leagues. ¬†Please be a commissioner, we need leagues, thank you, and Oxford comma.)¬† Anyway, here‚Äôs my 12-team NL-Only team and some thoughts:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I wish that he wasn’t… and I wish I could parse¬†my words a little better for a good pun’s sake, but the fact is in the stats. ¬†Sam Dyson is allowing more baserunners, more baserunners to get on via the walk, and a higher slugging percentage in the second half of the year. ¬†Add in the fact that batting average against and K-rate are down since 30 days ago, its never a good sign for someone to be all cozy and buy long-term property in the town of closerville. ¬†Listen, he already wasn’t elite in the K-rate department, but to be hovering in the mid 5’s for the past 20 appearances is just bad. ¬†From what I am noticing, his velocity has leveled out, but he isn’t using his arsenal as much or as frequent, relying mostly on his sinker and moving away from his ancillary fastball and slider. ¬†Not all awful things in the immediate world in¬†the result-driven world of fantasy, but troubling nonetheless. ¬†When a reliever doesn’t trust or use his stuff in a way that was once successful, it shows a lack of confidence in it. ¬†The guests knocking at the door have been a phenomenal swoon for almost all fantasy leagues with the likes of Diekman, Barnette (who has been sneaky great), Bush and Kela. ¬†The saves that have been divided up show that Bush and Diekman look like the guys to watch most for in a change. ¬†So with about a month of useful fantasy to go, now is not the time for a 20-save guy to spin his wheels… grab the cuff in advance and cover yourself like it was your Linus blanket or a just in case of emergency fantasy glass thingy.
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I had an idea to make the Olympics more watchable. ¬†You know how you watch it now and you’re like, “Damn, he just ran the length of two football fields in 20 seconds? ¬†I mean, it looked like he was going fast, but the guy next to him ran it in 21 seconds, so it’s hard to tell exactly how fast he was running.” ¬†Enter my idea: ¬†in every event, there should one normal person competing so we get a better idea of how great the Olympians are next to average schmos. ¬†Tell me you wouldn’t watch the platform diving if between the North Korean and Chinese diver, I was there trying to get the nerve up to jump from three floors up, then¬†plunging¬†awkwardly into the water¬†on my back. ¬†Or running next to Usain Bolt, doing an¬†85-second 200 meter dash. ¬†So, this brings me to Kris Bryant, who right now is making other major leaguers look like ‘normal people.’ ¬†Yesterday, he went 5-for-5, 4 runs, 5 RBIs with¬†his 29th and 30th homers. ¬†On our Player Rater, he’s in the top five for the season. ¬†Member in the preseason when people were saying Bryant was going to strike out too much to draft in the 1st round? ¬†Those people are enjoying themselves some Jose Abreu! ¬†For 2017, it’s gonna be hard to rank Bryant much later than the top five, as he enters only his age-25 season. ¬†Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
In 1972, a young Polish man by the name of Stanley “Stash” Petrosky burst on the scene with the Pirates organization and stole 87 bases while pinch-running for the Single-A Long John Silvers. ¬†No matter how many times corrected, he continually held the bat backwards and never got past Single-A, but his speed was a delight to watch. ¬†Since then, Poles have been considered some of the sneakiest fast players in the game. ¬†Some social¬†scientists¬†have contended that this is due to the Polish ancestors standing in line for bread. ¬†Never wanting to be standing in line ever again, they instead run and steal. ¬†Some historians say the Poles have skis on their end of their names because thousands of years ago they would tie¬†flat boards to their ankles rather than walking and they built up a taste for speed. ¬†Others say this is ethnic¬†profiling and it should be stopped. ¬†Either way, one guy who can’t be stopped is Travis Jankowski. ¬†Janky, as he’s not known anywhere, has 25 steals in 184 ABs. ¬†Since 2000, Jankowski has the most steals in the fewest plate appearances besides Tony Campana (there’s a throwback name). ¬†The King of SAGNOF, Rajai Davis, Jarrod Dyson, Emilio Bonifacio, Dee Gordon and Jordan Schafer¬†are a few of the guys that have been close¬†in the last 16 years, but what Jankowski is doing is historic SAGNOF. ¬†Or as it’s known in some cultures SAGNOFski. ¬†Oh, and Jankowski is also hitting north of .450 in the last week. ¬†Grab him! ¬†Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, Carlos Gomez was designated for assignment. ¬†Outfielders in the tier of guys in the preseason I told you not to draft: ¬†Pence, Kemp, Gomez, Schwarber, Hanley, Corey Dickerson, Ellsbury, Brantley, Adam Jones and Carlos Gonzalez. ¬†I’ll take a¬†7-for-10. ¬†You believed still in the preseason about Carlos Gomez, didn’t you? ¬†*touches finger to nose but not for a sobriety test* ¬†I’m more surprised by the people shocked by Gomez’s fall from grace. ¬†*makes crazy, rolly finger motion by ear* ¬†Anyone who saw him in his prime knew he¬†was gonna find a steep cliff. ¬†Even when he broke out, the underlying stats told you something had to change or he wasn’t going to have continued success. ¬†*sticks finger in nose, smiles* ¬†Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The price that was paid, and the results that led him up to the trade had¬†everyone believing that Andrew Miller would trump the incumbent Cody Allen in Cleveland. ¬†Through two-pitched games, he has seen one¬†save opportunity in the 6-7th inning, and the other was in a losing effort. ¬†Now, I am not reading the tea leaves here, but after just two¬†appearances and five¬†games overall, I think Cody is not a droppable player in any format, saves holds or NSVH. ¬†I mentioned it out loud to myself after the trade was completed, and also to Prospector Ralph. ¬†With 55 games to play and save chances in 52 percent of games won… so that would leave 14 or so chances for the Indians and Miller to retain value. ¬†And don’t get it twisted, he still has a ton of value with a ridiculous K-rate over 16, and the Indians are still a first place squad. ¬†Just everyone that seems to matter has struggled with the Twins. It’s crazy that they are 20-plus games under .500. ¬†So for the Allen owners, hold firm, like Gi-Joe style grip type stuff. ¬†Miller owners, you have most likely owned him all year, so your peripherals aren’t going to be flawed because of him. ¬†As far as saves go, I think it could go 70/30 the rest of the way and be a situational thing on occasion. ¬†Let’s look at the plethora of changes that are basically pillaging the relief ranks around baseball…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Mike Napoli hit his 27th homer yesterday. ¬†He now has five straight games with a home run. ¬†On the year, he is top 30 for fantasy value on our Player Rater. ¬†Dude is such butter right now¬†brioche buns be jumping up on his back. ¬†(Why am I not writing rap lyrics?) ¬†Uh-oh, Napoli’s so hot, he’s bringing out¬†my rap alter ego, B-Fire. ¬†Napoli is¬†such butter right now¬†brioche buns be jumping up on his back! ¬†Yo, he’s not whack like some homeboy going to a strip club with a quarter stack! ¬†In fact! ¬†Grey’s got more indoors, then you got outdoors, and technically there’s more room outdoors for you to have more but nope, my room’s got floors! ¬†*dance, prance, romance off your pants* ¬†My action lines got asterisks, smooth. ¬†Your action lines got an asterisk with an excuse down below why you can’t move. ¬†*said while bowing sushi chef-style* ¬†Napoli. ¬†Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?