Please see our player page for Cristian Pache to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Yesterday, Jazz Chisholm Jr. (1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer) was moved back to the leadoff spot. Whatever was worked out between Jazz and Don Mattingly was worked out behind closed doors. There’s no way of knowing. What happened, if I had to guess, was Jazz said to Don, “I’m sorry for drawing a mustache on all the photos of you around the clubhouse. The Rollie Fingers-curl was especially inconsiderate. I still think your machismo is being undersold clean-shaven, but I respect your opinion.” Then Don replied, “And I’m sorry I said your parents have no taste for naming you after the worst Ken Burns doc.” Then later on, Jazz heard someone named John, thought it sounded too much like Don, and said this:

So, the Jazz drama’s prolly not done yet. I’ll admit to maybe being too reactionary about Jazz being a Sell in the 1st week because he was hitting 9th, and I’m glad Don came to his senses. Also, in this game, Jesus Sanchez (2-for-3, 3 runs and his 3rd homer), hit his third homer, and looks every bit of the sleeper I called him to be in the preseason. Speaking of sleepers, Rudy tells me the title means P = Pablo, Js = Jesus and Jazz. Mmmkay, and the Pablo Lopez (7 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 0.52) I was very worried about in the preseason looked as good as the Rodon and Kershaw, who I was equally worried about. It’s a long season though, and it’s not exactly actionable to say Pab-Lo will just get hurt, but, well, that was the concern with his shoulder. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Motivational speaker, Manny Machado, entered the Padres’ clubhouse before yesterday’s contest and asked new head coach, Bob Melvin, if he could speak. His teammates’ rapt attention centered on Manny, and he spoke, “I won’t always run hard to first, 2nd, third or home. I will usually ask for a golf cart to take me out to 3rd base between innings. When it’s my time in the on-deck circle, I will ask the umps if I can put on water wings and slap around in a kiddie pool. When that clock strikes April 19th, I will check out until sometime in July. But I am telling you right now, you have every piece of me from this moment here, until roughly ten o’clock on April 18th, then again sometime in July. And I will take you where you need to go, so hop on!” And with that Wil Myers stood and began to clap at first. Then he elbowed Eric Hosmer (4-for-5, 1 run, 2 RBIs), who was dreaming of grounding out to 2nd base, and he stood and clapped too. And, before anyone knew it, the entire clubhouse was in a rousing ovation for their leader, Manny Machado — the best clubhouse guy a team could hope for. Then, as the ovation began to dissipate, Machado asked Luke Voit if he could drive the golf cart that would take him out to the field. So, yesterday, Manny Machado (5-for-6, 4 runs, 2 RBIs) hit his 1st homer, a 111 MPH shot into left field, and two steals for the magnificent slam and double legs. This was Machado’s 2nd career five-hit night. Five hits, 4 runs, 2 SBs with a homer in a game had only been done three times since 1987 — Andrew McCutchen, Carl Crawford and Tony Gwynn. Machado gets a bad rap; he does usually put up top 25 overall type numbers, as long as Voit continues to gas up the golf cart. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

On the eve of Opening Day, I’m trying to recall the last time so many high-profile rookies were scheduled to break camp with the big club. Might’ve been . . . never? Prospect coverage has come a long way these past few decades. Used to be cool to bash rookies and the prospect lovers who drafted them. Now you’re just leaving money on the table if you ignore the possibility that Julio Rodriguez opens the season in center field for Seattle. 

Focusing on Rodriguez in particular, I moved earlier than Average Draft Position at the time to select him in the 18th round of The Great Fantasy Baseball Invitational. Pick 265. He went inside the top 75 this week. Incredibly weird to me that three weeks of stats is worth 200 draft spots in the echo chamber, but that’s the illusion of certainty for you. Object permanence. I guess there was an outside chance Julio stayed in the minors until July, but not really. Not without a catastrophe of some kind. 

I’m already eager to see how next year’s crop of potential rookies is treated during draft season. Will we overweight the 2022 outcome, which happened partly due to a backlog built from the paradigm of punting combined with a CBA in flux and a lost 2020 season? Or is this simply the new reality? If a player is ready to help generate major league wins for a contending team, he will open the season on the roster. Sounds crazy, I know. 

So let’s run through the list, consider the fates of each player, and celebrate what we all hope will be a new chapter in baseball history, where service time suppression starts to creep away from center stage. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Fernando Tatis Jr. fractured his wrist and I want to die. Just curl into a ball and bawl. MLB lockout was the butterfly’s wings and Tatis’s wrist is the earthquake in Indonesia. Hope you’re happy Rob Manfred! Fernando Tatis Jr. likely hurt himself on his motorcycle, and it was months ago. Sure, he should’ve been checked out by a doctor for the last three months for the wrist injury, but he just dusted himself off and said, “Oopsie.” If Tatis wasn’t so damn resilient, maybe he would’ve went to the doctor. Stupid, resilient, regenerative Fun The Jewels! If it wasn’t for the lockout, the Padres would’ve insisted Tatis went to see their team doctors, and his wrist would’ve been diagnosed sooner. See, this really is Rob Manfred’s fault! *goes to the beach, digs giant hole, lies down into sand grave, slowly pulls sand down on top of head* I don’t want to go on. Please, let me be. *sobs loudly*

So, Rudy updated Fernando Tatis Jr. with a 75-game dock, and he’s now at 155 overall on his 12-team auction values. I’m down to 103 overall. From the number one spot to 103 overall; I really feel like I’m going to vomit. *drives to Ralph’s supermarket then ralphs* I like to be meta, when possible. What’s kinda funny, in a painful way that isn’t funny at all, I did my adjustments to Tatis without knowing what Rudy was doing, and I have him ranked right next to Kyle Schwarber, as Rudy does, in my top 500 for 2022 fantasy baseball. Of course, I have Schwarber and Tatis higher than Rudy, barely. Also, Rudy has Tatis at 289 ABs (58/23/56/.282/13) and I have him down for 51/17/45/.287/15 in 303 ABs, and we both did our new projections without bouncing them off each other, so we’re both pretty close, which is reassuring in a very sad way. I’m a bit worried about the wrist coming all the way back immediately, but like the idea of his upside when he returns, so I ranked him a bit higher than his stats might warrant. I updated my top 10 for 2022 fantasy baseball; my top 100 for 2022 fantasy baseball and the top 20 shortstops for 2022 fantasy baseball. This all somehow sucks and simultaneously blows. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this preseason for 2022 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

This post picks up where we left off Sunday when I posted the Top 25 Outfield Prospects for Dynasty Fantasy Baseball in 2022. While we’re here, I might as well include a quick link to all my work this off-season: 2022 Fantasy Baseball Prospects, the Minor League Preview Index. It’s been fun to explore the game system by system then position by position. Starting pitchers are coming up next, followed by relievers in one of my favorite articles to build every year (I’ve been working on it for weeks) before we ring in the new minor league season with a fresh list of Top 100 prospects. Can’t wait! This particular list could’ve gone on forever (in the sense that “forever” refers mostly to a pretty damn long time), but I stopped at sixty to avoid overstaying my welcome (I hope). If someone you expected to see isn’t on here please drop a line in the comments section.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We’ve done it! We’ve reached the end of the fantasy baseball hitter rankings for 2022 fantasy baseball rankings. Give yourself a big round of applause. I’d clap for you, but I have carpal tunnel from actually ranking all the hitters and writing all their blurbs and calculating all of their projections and– What exactly did you do? Oh, yeah, you read them. No wonder why your hands can still clap. Here’s Steamer’s 2022 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Hitters and 2022 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Pitchers. Subscriptions are up and running, and you can already get Rudy’s Draft War Room. Anyway, here’s the top 100 outfielders for 2022 fantasy baseball:

NOTE: All 2022 fantasy baseball projections are based on a 162-game season, and will be until we hear definitively there will be less games, due to the CBA. Also, I’m going on the assumption the NL is getting the DH.

NOTE II: All my rankings are currently available on Patreon for the price of a Starbucks coffee, if you get one of those extra grande frappuccino jobbers. Don’t wait for the rankings to come out over the next month, and get them all now.

NOTE III: Free agents are listed as just that and not yet projected. Once a guy signs, I will write out their blurb and add in projections, or remove them, if they sign in an unfavorable place. They are ranked currently where I think they might be if they sign on for a full-time job.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Atlanta is finishing a painful but impressive season, bottoming out at one point after losing Mike Soroka and Ronald Acuña Jr. for the year on top of missing Ian Anderson–not to mention the Marcel Ozuna saga. 

They could’ve done the cool kid thing and stopped trying. Instead, they traded for a whole new outfield of misfit toys–Jorge Soler, Joc Pederson, and Adam Duval–that selling teams no longer wanted on the payroll, sacrificing next to nothing from their farm in the process and putting together another potentially division-winning club, their fourth in a row if they can hold off the Phillies, who are just one game back as I type this on Saturday night. 

If Atlanta can power through, they’ll have benefited from being in baseball’s wonkiest division, but a win is a win, and who knows, perhaps this team that figures to win about 85 games will outperform much better regular season squads in the postseason, and even if they fall short, their minor league system looks better to me than it has since Acuña graduated. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We used to have a glossary term for when one of your hitters hits a home run off one of your pitchers:  “f***ing your stepsister.” We removed it I believe because it was too vulgar, but we have a shirt in our Razzball store that reads, “Fantasy Baseball: Something To Do Between Masturbation Sessions,” so too vulgar feels like it left the station a while ago. Any hoo! I don’t have a stepsister, but yesterday we were grinding, baby! After dinner, I was like, “Excuse me, my much older cougar wife,” as I dabbed my face with a wet nap, “I need to check to see how Carlos Martinez is doing. What’s that? He sucks? Sure, Cougs, but someone’s gotta suck in this marriage and it ain’t me or you.” Haha, we laughed, then I added, “How bad could he possibly suck?” That was when my world began to crumble, while also putting the moves on my nonexistent stepsister, because Cody Bellinger (2-for-4, 2 runs, 6 RBIs and his 1st homer) knocked in 6 runs in the 1st inning before I could put my teeth back in my mouth. I knocked them out when I saw Carlos Martinez’s line (2/3 IP, 10 ER, ERA at 5.83). Well, I’m glad Cody Bellinger is back and producing, I only wish it didn’t involve step-siblings. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I think I’ve lost count of the number of times I have advocated for streaming starters against the Rockies on the road for DFS and season long purposes.  It’s always nice when the bots confirm this bias.  As Rudy astutely pointed out the other day, the Stream-O-Nator gets a little excited when the Rox are on the road.  The SON has Zac Gallen ($9,000) as the top pitching option on the main slate, not Blake Snell, not Brandon Woodruff and not Dustin May.  Do I think it’s safe to start Gallen over May in your cash games, no, but I will be loading my GPP lineups with Gallen and praying it hits.  Gallens of galleons!

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The bomb to right-center, his fourth homer of the year, wasn’t even the most impressive thing Shohei Ohtani (3-for-5, hitting .364) did yesterday. He beat out a single to short with a sprint speed of 29.5 ft/sec. That’s the 5th best Sprint Speed this year, just a bit better than Ronald Acuña Jr. Uh…*looks around for forty-five minutes, looks back*…Is anyone else seeing this? Can Acuña, serious question, also throw 101 MPH and have an under 2.00 ERA? Yo, is Shohei Ohtani really Roy Hobbs? ACKCHYUALLY If you had Roy Hobbs hit a 460-foot homer, beat out a grounder to short and pitch 101 MPH speedballs, you’d be like, “I appreciate the love story, and the friendship he built with the cross-eyed bat boy that he saved from a burning supermarket, but the baseball stuff isn’t believable in this movie.” Ohtani is not believable. That’s it. He’s one of the best baseball players ever, tools-wise. Truly not believable how good he is at each tool. Unfortch for fantasy, the Angels insistence on him pitching is hurting his overall fantasy value. Sorry, I’m not being a giant idiot. I mean, I might be a giant idiot, but not in this case. You miss a game or two each week as a hitter, and your stats are going to suffer. Hopefully, he has three months’ worth of Rich Hill blisters and can’t pitch all year. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’m a big fan of the everyman. I consider myself the everyman. I’m every man’s everyman. A pioneer of normcore. Track pants and a blinking light on my car’s dashboard that either means my seatbelt isn’t on or I need oil. That is me. What better way to elevate the Everyman Culture, than to take part in a tourney where no one is smarter than anyone else. Enter the RazzSlam, a Best Ball tourney.  Every everyman likely knows what a Best Ball league is, but, if you don’t, it’s when you draft a team and the computer manages it for you by choosing who are your best players, and you get those stats. It’s basically one fantasy league removed from the robots taking over and killing us all. Well, the last laugh is on you robots, there’s a virus beating you to the punch! Kinda love that Razzball is putting on a tourney (hosted by NFBC — thank you!) that no one really has any clue how to strategize against. A true everyman experience. Oh, I’m sure there’s a few people who think they know the best strategy for, uh, Best Ball, and a few of them might be right, but there’s an under 1% chance they know why they’re right, and it isn’t just luck. In some ways, Best Ball leagues are a lot like Best Ball strategies. Throw a ton of them out there and a few good ones will rise to the top through sheer force of players’ performances and nothing you’re actually doing. That’s the fun. Anyway, here’s my RazzSlam, a 42-round, Best Ball 12 team draft recap:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We (me) have gone over the catchers to target1st basemen to target2nd basemen to targetshortstops to target, and 3rd basemen to target, cause I have to do everything around here! Look at me, throwing shade like a beach umbrella! That makes sense…if you don’t think about it! That’s what I want my bumper sticker to say, “That makes sense….if you don’t think about it.” Okay, so this post is all the outfielders that are being drafted after 200 overall that elicit uber-sexy feelings. Last year, I featured Trent Grisham, Anthony Santander, Austin Riley, Teoscar Hernandez, Franchy Cordero and Austin Hays, and now we’re back with all of them again! I’m kidding, about at least half that list. Now, this is a (legal-in-all-countries-except-Canada) supplement to the top 100 outfielders for 2021 fantasy baseball. All Steamer hitter projections and all 2021 fantasy baseball rankings have been updated. Click on the player’s name where applicable to read more and see their 2021 projections.  Anyway, here’s some outfielders to target for 2021 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?