Please see our player page for Cooper Hummel to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH.)

So the other day I was talking about how Joe Maddon was only playing Tyler Wade and Taylor Ward because it would confuse people into thinking they were in a sequel to Multiplicity and no one would be able to focus on trying to get them out, but, while I was saying that, I called them, Tyler Ward and Taylor Wade, and not one person corrected me in the comments, and y’all always be correcting me. See, I can’t even keep them straight. I’d attest Taylor Ward and Tyler Wade are the most confusing player names to ever be on the same team. They are more confusing than all of the Luis Garcias, because at least the Luis Garcias are all the same name. Taylor Wade and Tyler Ward–damn it! I did it again!–are so confusing, that their jerseys have the first two initials on the back before the last name, but their last names are not the same! The Taylor/Tyler Conundrum! Or rather the Twangel Dee And Twangel Conundrum! What if they don’t exist–Or what if they both exist but give different stats? Schrödinger’s Categories? Taylor Wade–Ward is your garden variety 25/2/.270 middle-of-the-order hitter. Your brand new version of Jared Walsh. Maddon also seems to love him, playing him every day in a good lineup position. Or he’s confused, and really loves Tyler Ward–Wade! He’s a 20+ steals middle infielder, who makes decent contact. Imagine David Fletcher. Now, forget him and picture someone with a name similar to Taylor Ward–Wade! No! Wait, Ward! I was right! I think. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday, Jazz Chisholm Jr. (1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer) was moved back to the leadoff spot. Whatever was worked out between Jazz and Don Mattingly was worked out behind closed doors. There’s no way of knowing. What happened, if I had to guess, was Jazz said to Don, “I’m sorry for drawing a mustache on all the photos of you around the clubhouse. The Rollie Fingers-curl was especially inconsiderate. I still think your machismo is being undersold clean-shaven, but I respect your opinion.” Then Don replied, “And I’m sorry I said your parents have no taste for naming you after the worst Ken Burns doc.” Then later on, Jazz heard someone named John, thought it sounded too much like Don, and said this:

So, the Jazz drama’s prolly not done yet. I’ll admit to maybe being too reactionary about Jazz being a Sell in the 1st week because he was hitting 9th, and I’m glad Don came to his senses. Also, in this game, Jesus Sanchez (2-for-3, 3 runs and his 3rd homer), hit his third homer, and looks every bit of the sleeper I called him to be in the preseason. Speaking of sleepers, Rudy tells me the title means P = Pablo, Js = Jesus and Jazz. Mmmkay, and the Pablo Lopez (7 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 0.52) I was very worried about in the preseason looked as good as the Rodon and Kershaw, who I was equally worried about. It’s a long season though, and it’s not exactly actionable to say Pab-Lo will just get hurt, but, well, that was the concern with his shoulder. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Atlanta RHP Bryce Elder brings the magic like he stole some old wizard’s wand. His name is fitting in that he pitches like a wily vet and I feel like he has a lot to teach me. He was the first man off my faab run in week 1 of the Highlander Dynasty Invitational. Took Yonny Hernandez with the last claim spot. The raw math of the settings suggested Yonny was the better piece as a newly molted Diamondback in Arizona. I was more afraid to miss him, I guess, is what it comes down to. If Yonny comes up and takes that third base job, he’s an instant stolen base source with big upside. I realize I’m making my excuses here anyway now. Sorry about that. Also, I was traveling. On the road all weekend. Sparse internet signal. Funny thing is, I had sort-of binge-watched some Elder starts last week, and I really liked him. He’s not a shallow league piece, probably, at least not in the short term, but he can manage a game. April can be a kind month to the game managers of the pitching world. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Five ladies and gentlemen, it’s…HELIO STUDWAGON!

And I can’t fight this rookie nookie anymore,
I’ve forgotten what I started fighting for (which stinks because we’re roughly 72 hours into the season),
It’s time to bring this shizz into the shore and onto my team,
And throw away the either/or’s forever.

Baby, I can’t hold Steven Matz anymore, but how about this Heliot Ramos fella!
He looks great, or as they say in San Fran “hella,”
I need him on my team, er,
His projections are insane from Steamer!

So, Heliot Ramos (2-for-3, 1 RBI) was called up. Prospect Itch said, “Ramos didn’t graduate AA so much as he aged into AAA, where he was still 5.7 years younger than the average player. Across the full season (116 games), he slashed .254/.323/.416 with 14 HR and 15 SB. Not bad. Not ideal. The hope is that he settles in at AAA and soaks up some coaching, applies that across his opportunities and takes the slow road to becoming a fantasy factor. I doubt the club will rush him to the majors in any needs-based scenario. This is good news for Ramos and us, as it gives the 6’1” 188 lb, 2017 first-rounder time to grow into his skillset, and I’d like to hit Grey with a skillet.” Not cool. So, the Giants seemed to disagree with how much time Ramos needed in the minors. His projections at the Prospectonator are fire under a helium balloon. Some of the best projections I’ve seen for a rookie. Oh, just your mundane, ho-hum 20+ HRs and 10 steals. Will the Giants still start guys like Steven Duggar over him? Oh, absolutely. Have you not been paying attention to the Giants for the last year-plus? Still, I’d grab Heliot Ramos in all leagues where I need an injection of sexy. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If MLB implements a Universal Designated Hitter as expected this season, the new rule will impact more than just the lumbering gloveless wonders. A Universal DH opens up playing time for people all over the field, especially in the era of load management. If the DH spot adds something like 650 plate appearances, I suspect most teams will divide that up among several players. 

Seems important to note that some of this work will be obliterated or at least obfuscated by free agent signings shortly after the lockout ends. 

I could have sorted these guys out team-by-team, but I can be kind of a moron and wanted to go player-by-player instead. Things got messy in a hurry, but the completionist in me is pleased with the results: a document ranking just about every National League prospect who figures to benefit from the Universal DH. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?