You might remember ten years ago I drafted in the live LABR NL-Only auction. Okay, you don’t remember, but I do, so you’ll have to take my word for it. It was the first major league I was in. I was sailing on the wind of doves. I thought my feces smelled like Reese’s Pieces. I even joined the Local 564, a railway union, thinking LABR had something to do with that. Ah, the memories…they sure were fleeting! I was booted from the league after one year. Why? I’m not sure, but my money’s on I insulted someone. Well, ya boi’s back and he’s learned his lesson! Though, someone drafted Rhys Hoskins for $28 and I was cackling about that for a good 45 minutes. Yo, just send Rhys flowers and a ball in the dirt for him to swing through; he might respond quicker. For those of you not in the know, this is a 5×5 league with average. (If you want a shallower league, play against me and hundreds others for prizes –> Razzball Commenter Leagues.) Anyway, here’s my LABR 12-team, NL-Only draft recap:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Bryse Wilson to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
Yesterday, Sonny Gray went 8 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 3.59 vs. the Brewers. *unloads pockets, eggplant emjois fall to the ground* I’m gonna need all of those. “Sonny came home” hasn’t had such a pleasant ring since Shawn Colvin opened an Art of Shaving booth at a Lilith Fair that only did armpit hair massages, and each payment was followed by a very pleasant, cash register ring. A Sonny hasn’t shone this bright since the last climate change summit that was held in Hellsunki on Urth, which is a planet that looks just like this one, but is 13,000 miles away and is exactly Earth but 25 years in the future, and they have some weird spelling. “I just got back from Hellsunki, and boy are my arms tired, because we don’t have planes on Urth, we fly with our arms.” Sonny Gray’s peripherals are surprising in a good way — 10.3 K/9, 3.3 BB/9, 3.46 xFIP. For those not up on the hoo-de-ha, that xFIP would be about 12th in the league and the K/9 and walk rates would firmly put him in the top 20 starters overall. In other words, everyone who owned him last year died for the sins of his current year’s owners. In other other words, he’s throwing fire like pitchers in Hellsunki. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, the Pirates exploded for five homers, touching up Brad Peacock (3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 4.13). Maybe the Pirates would’ve let up more if his name was Brad Parrot. Kevin Newman led the way once again, going 3-for-5, 2 RBIs with his 4th homer, and 2nd homer in as many games. Of course, he will be in this afternoon’s Buy column. Didn’t need Newman to star in the show off the Peacock, but fantasy owners should still be saying, “Hello, Newman.” Then, Starling Marte (2-for-5, 3 runs) got a slam (12) and legs (12), as he plays his OCD for laughs, as one can do in the decade of the 90s. Then, Jacob Stallings, subject of Permanent Midnight and staff writer on ALF, got into the action, going 3-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs with his 1st homer. Then, Corey Dickerson (1-for-4, 2 RBIs) hit his 2nd homer, and had his 2nd big game in a row. Previously, Co-Dick was famous for what Siamese Twins filled out on a medical report, but maybe we should be “Stuck on You!” Finally, Josh Bell (2-for-5, 2 RBIs) hit his 22nd homer, 2nd homer in the row and Bell said, “If we’re doing this like the 90s, I saved you,” but the Pirates couldn’t be reached for comment, in hiding, wearing a puffy shirt. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jordan Hicks sounds headed for Tommy John surgery with a torn UCL. This sucks; don’t get me wrong, but it’s amazing all the people shocked by this news just because the Cardinals said on Sunday it wasn’t serious. I wish I could be that uncynical. I wish I could see the birds chirping and not a bird nagging another bird to take out the trash, or see the flowers and not think, “I wonder who’s buried under there,” but alas…So, with Jordan Hicks out for the next 14-18 months, who will close? Carlos Martinez has the makings of a two-inning closer, I guess, but, man or five women, it seems super dumb to continue Carlos Martinez down the closer route. Don’t they want him to start again at some point? John Gant’s been great until he defecated the sheet out of my fantasy bed on Sunday. He might still get some looks. Then there’s wild cards, Andrew Miller (if he were great like years past; he’s no brainer) and Tyler Webb, who is only in discussion because he got one save look the game where Hicks was hurt. I’d go C-Mart and Gant at 55% vs. 42% chance and everyone else at 3%. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
If a tree falls in a forest, but no one drafts the tree does it make a sound? That’s what it felt like this weekend at Razzball. I’m sure a ton of people were angry that Daniel Murphy fractured his finger, but I heard nary a peep from the Razzball faithful. I’m guessing because of where I ranked him. According to FantasyPros, the top person ranked him 26th overall. The worst ranking of him, and, oh, it’s just silly. Some total numbskull ranked him 150th overall. Wait a second, I’m that numbskull, and the awful ranking was actually him 26th overall. I should’ve wrote an overrated schmohawk post for him, but I didn’t because I didn’t want to write this in February, “He’s old, and will get hurt. End of post. So, did everyone already take down their Groundhog’s Day decorations?” I honestly couldn’t figure out why people were drafting him. His projections were 22 HRs, .310. I mean, okay, but kinda big whoop, no? Meh, I guess it’s irrelevant now since I know none of you drafted him. Right? Riiiiiiight? The good news is Garrett Hampson and Ryan McMahon should see more at-bats, and, just as I say that, the Rockies played Mark Reynolds at 1st base on Sunday. Oh, Rockies, you dumb, dumb team, which is different than the creative team behind Dum-Dum lollipops. They’re terrific. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
This draft is a crock pot vs. a microwave. A love sesh vs. a ‘hold the moan.’ A nature hike vs. “I’m gonna sit in the car as we drive past some mountains.” Guys and five girl readers, it’s a slow draft. This slow draft took about eighteen days, 3 hours, four minutes and–okay, only a lunatic counts seconds. Not almost 18 days of straight drafting, mind you. I don’t need to ice my clicky finger. It’s five minutes of drafting, twelve hours of waiting. It does allow you to second-guess your picks. Actually, more like triple-guess. (Who are we kidding, you quadruple-guess, fiveruple-guess, sextruple-guess, ochocinco-guess your picks.) For those not in the know, it’s a weekly, 15-team, two-catcher league that lasts for 50 rounds and there’s no waivers. Anyway, here’s my NFBC draft recap:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jose Ramirez fouled a ball off his knee and was carted off the field. *long, painful swallow* Say what now? Thankfully, it turned out Jose Ramirez simply has a knee contusion and was carted off the field because he had reached his steps for the day. *claps hands* “Okay, guys, call me a cab, my FitBit says I’m done-zo.” That’s Jose Ramirez once he reaches 10,000 steps. I hear ya, Jo-Ram! I once sat down on an escalator because I had reached my “floors” for the day. I’m not over-exercising and dying young. Nuh-uh! You don’t mess with age expectancy. I’m already down on Ramirez in a non-sexual way, so this doesn’t change my stance on him, and, if you like him, it doesn’t sound like it should change your feelings either, since he appears healthy. Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Braves, like the Padres, are incredibly stacked in the minor leagues. This is scary, considering they’re also in the mix to repeat as NL East champions and sport young stars like Ozzie Albies and Ronald Acuna on their MLB roster. tl;dr – Good team that’s probably gonna be good for a while.Please, blog, may I have some more?
With the top 80 starters for 2019 fantasy baseball, we are so close to the end of the rankings, I can almost taste it! Wait, that’s not rankings I taste, I bit my lip and it’s blood. I wonder if when Dracula bites his lip it’s like when Cougs goes out with her friends and I’m left at home while Emmanuelle is on Cinemax. I’ll go over exactly how to draft starters in a few days, but there are so many ways to skin a cat we should have PETA breathing down our necks. Also, I’m hoping to do the RCL signups next Monday. Stay tuned! Or not, your call. All the 2019 fantasy baseball rankings are there. Here’s Steamer’s 2019 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Hitters and 2019 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Pitchers. All projections listed are mine and I mention where I see tiers starting and stopping. Anyway, here’s the top 80 starters for 2019 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Braves called up Bryse Wilson, their third starter who is under 21 years old (Soroka, Allard) and 4th player (Acuña). Mean’s while, Vladimir Guerrero Jr. just collected his 3,000th minor league hit. By the time Vlad Jr. is called up, he will be Vlad Sr.’s brother. Didja you know in Latin America junior is a term of endearment like when you call that old lady in your family ‘aunt’ even though she’s unrelated? That’s why so many Jr.’s get to their 2nd year of pro ball and drop the junior. Right, Raul Mondesi Jr.? Any hoo! The Braves called up yet another gorgeous, young prospect. “That’s what I love about these Braves starters, man. I keep getting older, they stay the same age.” — Matthew McConaughey seeing Bryse Wilson. Prospector Ralph just gave you his Bryse Wilson fantasy. He’s also in his top 500 fantasy baseball prospects. Previously, he said, “A 4th rounder in 2016, Bryse Wilson rode his plus sinking fastball to one of the bigger breakouts of 2017. His four-seamer sits 92-95 with sink, and commands it extremely well. His secondaries are far more raw with a power 12-6 curve, and a fringe changeup. Speaking of Wilson, I’d like to spike Grey like a volleyball.” Okay, not cool! Yesterday, Wilson went 5 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks, as the Braves bumped everyone in their rotation back a day. The big thing that struck me about Bryse is he looks like he’s been doing it for years (which could be said of the other young Braves players). About to call him Poyse Wilson. Seems weird to call him up to just send him back to the minors, so gotta expect him to stay up. In shallower redrafts, I’d view Wilson as a streamer, but I did grab him in two mixed league redrafts. He’s obviously a decent keeper in deep leagues (10.8 K/9, 0.9 BB/9 in only 20 Triple-A innings), especially now that’s he’s up with rest of the Braves’ Poyse of Summer. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?