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Please see our player page for Billy Hamilton to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

It was clear where Dansby Swanson was going to sign once he got married. Mallory Pugh, his new wife, plays soccer in Chicago. Lucky Dansby didn’t marry Messi. He’d have to play for Argentina, which, I believe, is where Yasiel Puig is playing now. Imagine being so whipped you have to play for whoever your wife roots for. I’d be playing for the “Gilmore Girls reunion.” So, Swanson immediately makes the Cubs much better. Competitive? Well, maybe a Wild Card, then who knows, Their pitching staff’s got more question marks than the Riddler’s leotards, so, yeah, I don’t think the Cubs are competitive, but weirder things have happened. Their middle infield does look solid, though. I am Hoerny for Hoerner and have always loved me some Swanson. Last year, Wrigley played poorly for home runs, but, as mentioned previously, I think that was a flukey thing vs. a new thing. Though, the dead ball and the humidor might’ve finally overcome the Windy City to make it more like Fly Out City. Will need more than one year to determine that. Last year, Swanson did what he’s always done with just a little more luck on BABIP, and flashed more speed. His counting stats might take a little hit in a weaker lineup (though, now the Cubs have Cody Bellinger five exclamation marks). His power should remain around 25-28, steals around 12-15, and average around .260. Assuming he doesn’t get his new marriage annulled and start dating Marge Schott Jr. and throw every game vs. the Reds. For 2023, I’ll give Dansby Swanson projections of 78/27/84/.262/14 in 591 ABs. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for 2023 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Raimel Tapia was traded to the Jays. Yay! Tapia gets out from under Bud Black! You will never thwart us again, Bud Black! Shakes fist towards the Colorado Rockies, the geographical location, not the team in Arizona. Though, the difference between Arizona and Colorado is hard to tell with the shake of a fist. Your tyranny of platoons will never stop me and Tapia again! Eat a dee, Bud Black! *opens Jays’ lineup* Uh…Hmm. Raimel Tapia is now buried in a stacked lineup and might platoon from the nine hole. Yo, Tapia, have you ever considered eating a live chicken to rid yourself of the curse of “not playing every day?” He was lowered in the top 100 outfielders. Going the other way, and the real winner here: Randal Grichuk. I know Grichuk is morally opposed to bat flips, but he might want to bat flip this trade. He’s suddenly in position to have a career year, and play everyday DH. Grichuk is exactly the type of player Bud Black will give 600 ABs, if he can. Old and boring. The ultimate Prospblockie. C.J. Cron and Grichuk walking around that lineup like Nicky Fairbanks walking the streets in Alaska. Grichuk was upped by a lot in the top 100 outfielders, and is now a 5th outfielder target in shallower leagues. Incredibly, on our auction values Randal Grichuk has moved to the 39th best outfielder, and right by Jesse Winker. This offseason, their collective fortunes have 180’d toward each other, and Winker appropriately was 1st one to blink. The ol’ Blink-180. What’s my age again? Also, the top 500 for 2022 fantasy baseball was updated. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this preseason for 2022 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I know, I know.  I am supposed to be writing about Kyle Schwarber this week.  Seriously, we are doing 2021 Hitter Profiles and I should be writing about the hottest hitter on the planet.  Not counting Friday night where he hit another bomb (watch the video, it was a missile), across the last 14 days the former Cubbie has as many home runs (12) as the #2 and #3 long ball leaders during the same time span.  That is like going double Vladdy Jr.  So clearly everybody and their mother are writing up Schwarber and I do not want to dedicate more to the subject than has already been said.  I will put it simply; he is on a heater and nobody knows when it will stop.  He somehow has a .217 BABIP during this time which might explain why he only has 5 other hits.  This too shall pass but for now, enjoy enjoy enjoy!  Now that we have cleared the virtual air, it is time to toe the line in The Itch’s territory and talk about a player we need to be watching for the Top 100 Hitters for the rest of the season…Vidal Brujan.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Howdy, Razzfolks!

Thanks for stopping in for another update on all those dadblasted injuries going around. There’s some good news in the works for several players, but of course, we’ve had some Irritating List additions (can’t believe it’s taken me til mid-June to come up with that one) as well.

Trying a slightly tweaked format this week just to streamline the reading process a little. Organized by generic infielders/outfielders/starters/relievers subheadings and then alphabetized by first name.

And if you’re curious, it’s Four Roses neat bourbon tonight as I touch this up. First time having it, and I approve!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)

Hearing nary a peep on Tony Gonsolin. I have my ear up to the computer screen for Tony Gonsolin questions, and, instead of Tony Gonsolin questions, all I hear is the 100 monkeys fighting over 99 typewriters in the other room, as they type up this reprot–Give Ling-Ling the typewriter! He’s Spellchecker Monkey! Sorry, it’s not easy being the monkey meditator. Maybe in the past two months people forgot the excitement over Tony Gonsolin, so due to some lazy-ass monkeys who I’m…*screams into other room*…about to fire, let’s just look at what I wrote in my Tony Gonsolin sleeper from this past preseason, “Tony Gonsolin has some kind of special numbers when it comes to contact rates. Ace-like. Just the Swinging Strike rate (14%) and the Swing rate (50.9) alone. To put that to you in real world terms, he’s around the strike zone, and hitters are ready to get on him, until the ball falls out of the zone and they miss.” In that post I compare him to Plesac and Maeda, which seems silly now, but you have to remember those guys are less good this year because they lost their command somewhere. If Gonsolin has his command, and in the rehab starts it looks he does, he could be at worst a fantasy number two to three for another 75 IP this year. Grab hmm! *screams into other room* Him! Him! Not hmm! That’s it, no bananas for anyone! Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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On Saturday, Marcell Ozuna was arrested for domestic violence. Proving this year, he’s a piece of shit on and off the field. There’s no way he plays again this year. Too bad he’ll miss Player’s Nickname weekend, when they could’ve put on his uniform back, “I’m A Garbage Human.” My guess is Ozuna’s suspension goes into next year too; the Braves void his contract, and he’s playing the outfield somewhere with Puig. By ‘somewhere’ I mean not in the MLB, as he rightfully becomes Ozuna non-grata. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Another fortnight, another group of low-owned speedsters! Yes, readers under 20 years old, fortnight is a real word, it’s not just the name of an insanely overrated video game. Right now, the runaway SB leader is an old favorite: Whit Merrifield with 12 SBs. Then there’s a handful of guys with eight (Jazz Chisholm Jr., Garrett Hampson, Isiah Kiner-Falefa, Ramon Laureano, Dylan Moore) and then a few more handfuls of players with seven. One of those handful is tied for the lead in SBs over the last two weeks: Niko Goodrum. Here is who else has contributed in that column in the last 14 days:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Roofies are real and they are not good. When you wake up after five hours and you’re missing a kidney? That’s a roofie. They’re a rookie pitcher who just decimates your ratios and leaves you wandering around for a light switch, only to realize you no longer have an arm. Though, you do have a hand, which is just puzzling. Yo, you T-Rex? With that said, rookie pitcher phenom Logan Gilbert is coming up. Prospect Itch just gave you the skinny, “If you’re going to hold one pitching prospect hoping he might come up and help your club, Gilbert should be that gottfried. He’s got a big league starter’s pitch mix and command, and he’ll be coming up to a hot club with pretty strong defense in a nice pitcher’s park. Speaking of which, I’d like to park my Subaru on Grey.” Okay, not sure what that’s about. I don’t say this lightly, but Logan Gilbert could win the AL ROY. Will he? What, I should sell my soul for future advice about a stupid MLB award? Get out of here! You sell your soul if you want to know! I’m just saying Gilbert’s plus command and strikeout ability makes him a must grab. I did in my RCL, and I would do it again! Though, I’m only in one RCL, so not sure how I can do it again. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Howdy, folks.

Another doozy of a week. I don’t know what it is about this year, but hamstrings and shoulders are DOOMED. Feels like 90% of the injuries I keep getting updates about are “hamstring tightness” or “pulled up lame” or “sore shoulder” or “shoulder inflammation.” Ugh.

If by some stroke of insane luck you’ve managed to avoid injury to this point, no doubt this week the fantasy baseball gods deemed you unworthy after all. I told you in the title that I had bad news. Well, let’s get to it:

Please, blog, may I have some more?