On his way to The Stadium That Jane Fonda Didn’t Receive In The Divorce Settlement, Jason Heyward ordered his chariot driver to the side of the road so he could wrestle a wildebeest.  Suicide mission or pregame ritual?  Doesn’t matter.  With nary a scuff to his gladiator sandals, he escaped unharmed.  With the wildebeest head shipped off to PETA, Heyward arrived at the game, went 2-for-5 and hit a home run.  No doubt, he is the greatest player since RBI Baseball’s Darrell Evans.  After the game, Heyward said, “What game?  I was commissioned by Al Gore to form cloud cover.”  Consider Heyward a 80/20/80/.280/10 guy.  If someone offers you better than that, take it.  If you’re in a league where someone gives you a top 50 player for him, you’re in a sucker league.  And you better beat those suckers.  Remember, Jordan Schafer hit a home run on Opening Day last year.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Nate McLouth – Hitting eighth.  He did hit .010 in the preseason, but I think Cox comes around on him.  Could be a nice buy low situation.  Then again, I’m not a huge fan of McLousy, so I need to stop touting him.

Carlos Zambrano – 1 1/3 IP, 8 ER.  In all fairness, he gave up five bloop singles… And two bloop 450 foot homers.

Derek Lowe – 6 IP, 5 ER and the Win.  I don’t like Lowe this year; this start did nothing to change my mind.

Shaun Marcum – Had a no-hitter through 6 and a third until Nelson Cruz said I am more than an All-Star replacement.  Marcum’s one of those pitchers I’d be all over if he played in the NL.  In Toronto, s’okay.

Jason Frasor – 1/3 IP, 2 ER as he blew the save.  He has guys behind him that can fill-in, but the Jays are playing for nothing.  So it’s six of one, half dozen of another for how long Frasor’s closer leash will be.  I’m not grabbing Downs or Gregg yet, but one more blown save and that could change.

Adam Lind – HR yesterday.  One down, 34 more to go.

Travis Snider – 0-for-4, 3 Ks.  There will be quite a few of these type of days.  He can still hit plenty of homers too.  The bugaboo is he’s batting 9th.

Mike Napoli – Didn’t start yesterday.  Napoli is why the Ron Popeil method of setting and forgetting your catcher was invented.  Napoli doesn’t play every game, it’s how Scioscia do.

Carlos Gomez – 4-for-5, steal and a homer.  Gomez hit 2nd yesterday.  I mentioned in the comments that he could be this year’s Emilio Bonifacio.  What I mean is a guy that steals 4 bases in one week, everyone adds him then by the third week of the season people wish he’d die by falling in front of a marching band that tramples him.  Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t add him early, just don’t drop anyone you’ll regret.

Carlos Gonzalez – It’s an 8-for-10 day for CarGoes. Gonzalez was also thrown out by about a foot trying to steal.  Good to see him running, be nicer to see him getting better jumps.

Seth Smith – 0-for-4, 3 strikeouts.  Fowler owners and lispers rejoice.

Huston Street – Received good news that there wasn’t nothing seriously wrong with his shoulder.  Except that he can’t pitch.

Dan Haren – 7 IP, 1 ER.  I’m guessing it’s before the All-Star Break.  Hey, look, it is!

Mark Reynolds – HR yesterday.  Reynolds isn’t ready to relinquish the Mini-Donkey title just yet.  Mini-Donkeys are stubborn.

Ian Stewart – HR yesterday.  In a land of men and Mini-Donkeys, there was one Mini-Donkey who was smaller than all others, but his heart and home runs were bigger.  His name was Ian Stewart and he’s Mini-Mini Donkey.

Mark Kotsay – Announcers were talking him up as a professional hitter that “adds flexibility.”  I don’t know but his wife makes me stiff.

Mike Jacobs – 0-for-4 as he hit cleanup.  I get the whole righty-lefty thing, but Mike Jacobs can barely cleanup his locker.

David Wright – HR yesterday.  After last year, his owners will take any power signs, but this homer was a fortunate, well-placed blast that was just around the pole.  Or as they call it in New York, The Pesci Pole.

Jose Reyes – Stole two bases in his rehab game.  It won’t be long now, ya’ll.

Casey Kotchman – 2-for-4, 4 RBIs.  As expected, he hit third against a righty.  For those that aren’t hip to handiness, there’s a lot more righties.  If you can find someone to get into your lineup when the Mariners face lefties, it could be worth it.

Garrett Jones – 2 HRs yesterday.  As our fantasy football contributor, Mark, said yesterday, “Robot Jones just fulfilled one of his 3 laws.”

Delmon Young – 2-for-4, HR yesterday.  Deep leagues obviously need to react quicker than other leagues.  Who knows, Young is still, well, young at 24 and he was once a big time prospect.

Roy Halladay – 7 IP, 1 ER, 9 Ks.  What’s a bigger joke?  Halladay vs. the Nats or Lannan vs. the Phils.

Placido Polanco – 3-for-5, 6 RBIs, grand slam. That was a month’s worth of Feliz.  Spanish pun intended.

Ian Desmond – 0-for-2 as he hit 8th.  Willie Harris went 0-for-4 from the two hole.  While Desmond needs to hit to stay on the field, Willie Harris should not be batting 2nd.

Ryan Franklin – 1 IP, 2 ER.  Kazaam!

Chris Carpenter – 6 IP, 2 ER, 3 Ks.  Rudy and I both agree that we wouldn’t own Carpenter this year.

Albert Pujols – 4-for-5, 2 HRs.  Poo-Holes is spitting fire.

Colby Rasmus – 2-for-4, HR.  Really wish I got him in a league this year.  I have a feeling it’s going to be his coming out party.  Maybe he’ll announce it in The Advocate.

Drew Stubbs – 2-for-2, didn’t get the start, but was brought in to face the lefty Reyes.  If Dusty’s only playing Stubbs vs. lefties, it kills his value.  Worse, I think all the Reds’ outfielders — aside from Bruce — are looking at 350-400 ABs.  That’s Gomes, Dickerson and Stubbs.

Joey Votto – 3-for-5, HR yesterday.  It was a good day, Ice Cube.

Zach Greinke – 6 IP, 1 ER, 4 Ks.  Over/under for Greinke’s no decisions this year?  16? 17 maybe?

Justin Verlander – 5 IP, 4 ER, 6 Ks.  Same thing every year for Verlander.  April early showers, bring May flowers.

Cameron Maybin – 0-for-4, 3 Ks.  It’s no embarrassment to be overmatched by Johan, even Johan 2.0, but Maybin looked completely lost.  My bigger problem with Maybin is he only has 20 steal speed.  He’s not a burner.

Gaby Sanchez – 2-for-4 with a double.  Yeah, not that exciting but I own him, so you’re gonna have to occasionally hear about him.

Ken Griffey Jr. – You see this Dick’s Sporting Goods commercial with Griffey running around the store?  Is this commercial from 1993?  Griffey strained his hamstring somewhere in aisle #5.

Mark Buehrle – 7 IP, 4 baserunners.  After Buehrle made one of the best plays by a pitcher ever, The Hawk, the White Sox announcer, said Buehrle’s had a storybook career.  Can’t wait for the movie.  The Mark Buehrle Story starring Michael Rappaport.

Carlos Quentin – No wonder he’s always getting hurt, I watched him get hit by pitches twice that he should’ve easily avoided.  He has the reaction time of Robert De Niro in Awakenings.

  1. Terrence Mann says:

    Wow. Lots of high quality jokes in there. I don’t even know where to begin.

    Must suck being Trey Hillman right now. He knows he’s going to get canned soon. How is it his fault that this team has almost $25 million this year going to Meche and Guillen? Hillman tried three MRs after Greinke against Detroilet and all three of them got shelled. Tejada’s ERA is 81.00! 81! And you know what’s worse? It’s not the worst ERA on the team. Roman Colon has an ERA of infinity! I’m not kidding. Look it up.

    We don’t even know if Hillman is a crap manager or not. He has no chance with this team.

    If I’m Hillman and it’s inevitable that my days are coming to an end, I either pitch Greinke a CG every single time he takes the mound, and/or give Ankiel a start after the rest of the rotation gets shelled (and they WILL get shelled) as a nice F-you to Dayton Moore on his way out of town.

  2. Bring Back Pluto says:

    Mark Kotsay is just Mark Scott in Pig Latin. And who wants a Mark Scott on their team?

    Now Adrian Trbelt, on the other hand…

  3. Levo says:

    Start Chris Young at Arizona? I keep going back and forth with this one.

  4. Mic says:

    @Levo: maybe at petco… play it safe…

  5. kangaroo hops says:

    I’d rather have Matt Dholi or Roy Dhalli. Do I do that right?

  6. kangaroo hops says:

    I’d rather have Matt Dholi or Roy Dhalli. Did I do that right?

  7. Steve says:

    And no barking from the dogs, and no smog in Joey’s world either.

    Fear not Grey, there will always be one other person here looking out for Gaby Sanchez news. Unless…

    Gaby or Kotchman at CI
    Fox or Kotchman at Util.

    These are two different teams BTW…

  8. Howard says:

    Zambrano-light really wet the bed yesterday! Luckily I traded him the day before. I can the see the other GM hitting the “vote against” button frantically. Thankfully it’s only h2h, I’ll recover!
    I like the “pesci pole”! Grey, you’re a goodfella!

  9. Rizzo says:

    6×6 (OBP, QS) H2H league, drop Napoli for Iannetta???

  10. Sos says:

    In a 12 team keeper, add neftali for morrow or masterson?

  11. Great column, made me want to throw baseballs at comatose people.

  12. sean says:

    @Grey: re: Maybin: it wasn’t just the terrible ABs against Johan, it was the way he carried himself in the batter’s box and in the field. He let two balls drop in the Bermuda triangle between him and the middle infielders. He didn’t take charge as the CF. He did nothing to inspire confidence. He looked like a scared kid, not a professional.

  13. Jesse says:

    “Placido Polanco – 3-for-5, 6 RBIs, grand slam. That was a month’s worth of Felicidad. Schmohawk third baseman pun intended.”


  14. Eddy says:

    Should I start Rajai Davis since I’m 1 SB behind?

    Or Granderson who faces a lefty (Lester)?

  15. Steve says:

    Would you drop Reimold for Young or Gomez?

  16. Jarrad says:

    Darrell Evans?! No way!! Doug DeCinces wrecked house in RBI Baseball!

  17. Dad says:

    “Fowler owners and lispers rejoice.” Hahaha. Nice.

  18. Jarrad says:

    …and, PS, that Buehrle play was friggin’ ridiculous!

  19. Tyler says:

    “In a land of men and Mini-Donkeys, there was one Mini-Donkey who was smaller than all others, but his heart and home runs were bigger. His name was Ian Stewart and he’s Mini-Mini Donkey.”

    They’re like Russian nesting dolls!

    …but more manly…

  20. cockyphoenix says:

    I made a pass at Gaby Sanchez, and at Geoff Blum, but I got stuck with a Mark Teahen / Willy Aybar platoon at first. Will it be bad enough? Perhaps…

  21. AdamH says:

    I’m on the same page as Terrence Mann. That opening line made me laugh out loud at work. Everyone’s looking at me.

    “Mini-Donkeys are stubborn” hahaha

    Great job this morning.

  22. BSA says:

    Grey, I was having breakfast with Johnny this morning and he and and I read the David Wright post at the same time – we both spit the Cheerios across the table.

  23. Paulie Allnuts

    Paulie Allnuts says:

    @Howard: Ha! I’ve had trades like that, where I gave a sigh of relief after seeing the outgoing player shelled. I confess that I have had the opposite occur, and pounded the veto button. Worse, I persuaded my wife, in my own league, to pound the veto button. There, I got that off my chest…

    Grey – Pesci Pole is an instant classic. as was the DeNiro Line in the Quentin blurb. Ditto the Advocate reference, Peta and the wildebeast, and so much more.

    Actually, I did have a question regarding Gaby Sanchez – second post this AM, apparently. In a deep league, Gaby or Garrett Atkins as backup first baseman. I know, slim pickins’

  24. AdamH says:

    On a side note, SAGNOF – Pierre or Gardner?

  25. Commish Cauda says:

    ***16-team, H2H-POINTS League (HR=4, 3B=3, etc., Steals=3, CS=-1, K=-1)***

    Despite my preseason trade inquiries to the contrary, I like Maybin and am willing to stick it out with him…so this isn’t a knee-jerk reaction. But Delmon Young was dropped. Loose Maybin for Young?

  26. Jesse says:

    @AdamH: If you just need steals, Pierre. Ozzie’s gonna run him like a fiend this year. I honestly think the over/under on Pierre steals is 60.

  27. Commish Cauda says:

    @AdamH: Pierre…by a lot He’ll play everyday.

  28. Jesse says:

    In a pts. league (HR=4, 3B=3, etc., R/RBI/S= 2, BB= 1), would you jettison Travis “Copper Sombrero” Snider for Nyjer “at least I bat leadoff and will get more PAs” Morgan?

  29. ThePoonTycoon says:

    @Jesse: that’s completely a need situation. i’m assuming snider is on your bench and was a late round flier. if you don’t need him in your lineup today, sit on him a few weeks and see if he comes around. if you are desperate for SBs or need an OF to actually plug into your daily lineup, then yeah, i’d probably grab morgan. but surely you weren’t relying on snider to be a starting OF in any league smaller than 20 teams?

  30. Tony says:

    @ThePoonTycoon: 20 teams? that might be a bit much…. 5 OF’er RCL he’s my 6th or 7th OF’er, its not a stretch if someone drafted their IF first or some SP’s early that Snider might be a 5th OF’er.

  31. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:

    Loved me some DaEvns back in the day. In fact, you may have just forced me to pull the NES out of storage and spend the day gaming classically. Oh, and thank you for introducing me to Jamie Kotsay… giddyup.

  32. ThePoonTycoon says:

    @Tony: ok, well i guess 5 OF leagues. i’m not in a 5 OF league though, so i was thinking 20 teams x 3 OFs = 60, and 12 teams x 5 OFs = 60.

  33. sean says:


    On the new ESPN-NY website, a (unattributed) writer speculates that Girardi may opt to sit Yankee Centerfielder against Boston’s tough Lefty Jon Lester. He writes:

    Granted, it was before Curtis Granderson got off to a rollicking good start as the new Yankees centerfielder Sunday night, but manager Joe Girardi raised the possibility that with Jon Lester starting for Boston Tuesday night, Marcus Thames — the last position player to make the 25-man roster — might get a start in the outfield.

    “We have not made a lineup for Tuesday, but that was one of the reasons we went and got him, because of his success off of lefthanders,” Girardi said. “So you can start him against lefties or pinch-hit him. And he’s a guy that can hit the ball out of the ballpark.”

    If I were you, I’d sit Granderson for Rajai (but only against Lester and other good lefties). Stolen bases tend to come in bunches, and Davis is showing that he’s going to run early and often.

  34. Jarrad says:

    I know it’s a lil’ off-topic, but have any of you guys ever heard of a fantasy sports insurance policy? What a crock of #[email protected]%! lol…

  35. It's In The Other Bag says:

    In other news, Chris Carpenter was complaining of slick balls in Cincinnati and that they were not rubbed down properly.

  36. magicterp says:

    Mmmm… Mrs. Kotsay.

  37. jesse says:

    @Jarrad: I’ve actually looked into it, not as real insurance, but as a bet. There’s one website where I would get a $200 “policy” for the “premium” of $19 where I get paid if Sizemore, Jose Reyes, and Morneau combine for 115 days on the DL. I mean, the odds of those three combining for 115 days on the DL can’t be as good as 10-1, can they?

  38. airlifting says:

    probably tongue in cheek and the razzball website isn’t the place to get serious….but as the guys at fangraphs were talking about yesterday, buehrle has a damn good chance at making the HoF

  39. Jarrad says:

    I think you’ve got a good shot w/ that one, dude…

    I think I was checking out the same site that you have your “policy” with. It’s pretty crazy. You can input league fees, transaction fees, and other related fees (i.e. subscriptions, etc.) and see how much it would cost to insure those costs. I was just messing around, and I came out with a $130 premium on 1 60-day DL’d player that would pay me $1245! It might be worth the investment just to take a gamble on one of my stars getting injured…

    …if I only had $130 to burn on a cockamamey scheme!

  40. papasmurf says:

    Can’t believe Napoli gets benched on opening day. I guess that shows the pecking order. Serves me right to draft him.

    Well, at least 80 games of Napoli is better than 120 games of a lot of other C’s.

  41. danimal35 says:

    @Terrence Mann: Update: the guy with no SS and hoarding all the 1Bs Moobs Butler for Bartlett…but I picked up Morales and Capps so now I have 7 guys with current closer roles…hopefully I can flip one or two before Reyes comes back

  42. danimal35 says:

    @danimal35: EDIT: insert *traded

  43. Gareth says:

    Webb just got dropped in my 12-teamer. Is he worth stashing on the DL? It would mean ditching Alex Gordon (which I’m happy enough to do). My SPs are Hamels, Johan, Nolasco, Sanchez, Price, Cueto and Latos so on the surface I’m probably not DESPERATE for starting pitching. But still.

    Mets win yesterday – everything is right in the world for at least 48 hours until John Maine gets a chance to ruin it all. Thank God you’re back, baseball.

  44. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Terrence Mann: Thanks!

    @Bring Back Pluto: Ha!

    @kangaroo hops: Ha!

    @Steve: Stay with me with Gaby for a little while. It’s lonely right now. I’d go Kotchman over Fox.

    @Howard: Thanks!

    @Rizzo: What happens when Olivo plays over Iannetta?

    @Sos: Why?

    @Fman99: Ha!

    @sean: Yeah, he didn’t have a great day.

    @Eddy: Davis

    @Jarrad: Ha!

    @Dad: Hehe

    @Tyler: Yes, yes they are.

    @AdamH: Thanks!

    @BSA: Hehe

    @Paulie Allnuts: Thanks! Go with Gaby.

    @Commish Cauda: I’d stick with Maybin for at least another day.

    @Awesomus Maximus: Ha!

    @Jarrad: Total nonsense.

    @It’s In The Other Bag: Sounds like a job for Mrs. Carpenter.

    @airlifting: Will depend on where all the Blyleven people refocus their time after next year.

    @Gareth: Lose Gordon for him.

  45. Mikey boy324 says:

    Grey would you drop maybin for Scott sizemore?

  46. ThePoonTycoon says:

    @Beau: i think at this point in his career, every half decent fantasy owner knows about haren’s 1st half/2nd half splits, so it’d be tough to pawn him off around the all-star break.

    however, more interesting of note to me when looking at those stats i see his K rate and BB rate staying about the same, while his BABIP sky rockets from july-sept. really that appears to be the difference in his 1st halves and 2nd halves. only in the month of august does his HR allowed rates go up. the more i look at the numbers, the more perplexed i am by his 2nd halves. you could write it off as his stuff isn’t as good, so he’s getting hit harder so his BABIP is higher, but you’d think you’d see that coming through in his K rate and BB rate and july/september HR allowed rate, but it’s not.

    interesting. i hope he finally has a 2nd half comparable to his first, cause i own him in a roto league.

  47. bostonaccent says:

    I’m trying to take solace in the fact that my two-headed steals threat of Alcides Borbon combined to take about 100 pitches yesterday.

    Any chance the rules committee changes that “can’t steal first” rule? (reaching on an error was the highlight of their day…)

  48. How do the fantasy insurance sites guard against fraud?

    I mean, do they evaluate your roster after you’ve drafted? What would stop you from taking the mentioned 60-day DL policy, and then drafting every injury-risk you can think of? Making on a claim on your policy would be way better than winning the league.

  49. Brian says:

    @sean: The reason Granderson is playing CF is so he can play the same position every day. If the Yankees use Thames against lefties it will be to sit Gardner.

  50. Didn’t Ron Popeil play Arnold Horshack? Why should we listen to him? Knew the deal when we waited and drafted him late. But still doesn’t mean that we can’t get pissed every damn time Scioscia do how he do. Up your nose Mike Scioscia!

  51. Brian says:

    @zombie: And the Angels took 3 catchers on their 25 man roster, also not a good sign. I still wouldn’t drop Napoli.

  52. ThePoonTycoon says:

    @Brian: napoli is like the donkeycorn of catchers. you don’t look to see how many games he plays, just know that at the end of the season you’ll have an avg that isn’t gonna hurt you from your C with ~20 HRs and ~60 RBIs and an above avg OPS for a C.

  53. Juice says:

    @Brian: That’s actually a good sign since Napoli will probably get more at bats at DH.

  54. What the hell? I just looked at today’s schedule…NO DAY GAMES??? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET ANY WORK DONE?

  55. quimmy says:




  56. Tony says:

    @quimmy: id want KEMP.

    What do you guys think on starting NOLASCO tomm vs. NYM? H2H

  57. Beau says:

    @quimmy: Depends, who would be dropped to make roster space, whats the rest of the offense and SP like?

  58. AdamH says:

    @Tony: I’m starting Nolasco until he burns me. Then I will probably start him again.

  59. Juice says:

    @quimmy: I’d want Kemp as well. I think Ellsbury is one of the most overrated players in fantasy. If you look at last year’s numbers he put up almost the exact same stats as Michael Bourn. In my eyes Ellsbury, Bourn, Nyjer Morgan, and Rajai Davis are essentially the same players. Ellsbury gets a boost from being on Boston but that’s about it. You may disagree but that’s my opinion.

  60. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Mikey boy324: Depends on needs. Probably not though.

    @Mark Geoffriau: Ha!

    @quimmy: It’s giving up a bit much for Kemp. And I don’t want Ellsbury, so it’s tough.

    @Tony: You have to start Nolasco.

  61. I'm Keith Hernandez says:

    Would you give up Pena in an OBP league for Reyes? Need me some sb’s

  62. mc serch says:

    Great post and great comments this morn…Pesci Pole is something that deserves to to be incorporated into the Razzhands lexicon…”Mark Scott in pig latin” is very witty….Kotsay’s wife, well, um, that was a nice Judge Reinhold-esque moment (but without droppin trou…I’m in the office after all).

  63. quimmy says:


    i am getting hit up left and right with kemp offers and that was the best one so far. I do not really need the pitching, but I do believe in maximizing value, so I find it hard sometimes to pass on trades if the offer is “overpaying” me. i know this is not the smartest way to play it always, im a bit of a newb though so im learning, ty for the advice.

  64. matthole says:

    @Juice: agreed to an extent. Its naive to say that ellsbury isnt the most certain to achieve the stats. Guaranteed playing time,etc…..its like saying rafael soriano is the same as mariano rivera bc he gets saves. Sure, they both get saves but rivera is the proven commodity

  65. quimmy says:


    do you have a term for an owner who is a transaction whore? my fellow owners call me tranny.

  66. Beau says:

    @quimmy: I usually try to be on the giving 2 players side of 2-for-1 trades as well, usually, not always. Generally you have to consider the value of the player you are dropping to waivers as well, so say if you are dropping player x to acquire players a and b for player c its more a trade of c and x for a and b rather than just c for a and b. If your pitching is already set i think you can pass on that trade. You should be able to get better value for kemp, he is one of the top 10 players in all of fantasy.

  67. matthole says:

    @quimmy: just bc thats your best kemp offer now means you need to take it. Its a long ass season; more offers will come……

  68. matthole says:


  69. Jarrad says:

    @Mark Geoffriau: That’s what I was thinking! I didn’t get any further than the quote page on the website, but I’m assuming that they must require some kind of “proof”.

    The fact that such a thing even exists is astounding! lulz…

  70. quimmy says:

    @beau @matthole: mucho grassyass

  71. Jarrad says:

    @quimmy: Who calls you that? :P

  72. majortommy says:

    Grey-No love for my boy Oko on Philly from Bases Loaded as the G.O.A.T.? The guy hit lasers all over the field!

  73. ThePoonTycoon says:

    @quimmy: yeah, if you pitching is solid, wait for an offer with a better all around hitter. i agree with whoever said ellsbury is one of if not the most overrated player in fantasy. the only thing he does exceptionally well is steal bases, otherwise, he’ll hit .280-.300 and give you average Rs for a leadoff hitter.

  74. quimmy says:

    @jarrad: ha! btw, these guys just lowered ells value for you. i will give you aubrey huff for him, cool?

    @poon: ty sir

  75. Roman says:

    haha, I’m glad the funnies are back!

    Who should I own Casey Blake or Rasmus?

    I already have Youk locked in at 3rd, so Blake is just there for injury relief.

  76. Grey

    Grey says:

    @mc serch: Hehe

    @quimmy: Tranny sounds about right. Don’t worry, I am too. But not in that way. Wait, what?

    @majortommy: It’s your boy. You show him love.

    @Roman: Rasmus

  77. jesse says:

    @ThePoonTycoon: Snider is my 2nd UT (or 6th OF) in a 12-team league, and it’s not a roto league, it’s a points league (pts in my original post). Snider is essentially the final starter on my 20-starter team. But Morgan’s available.

  78. Juice says:

    @matthole: I agree. Ellsbury is definitely superior to the other names I mentioned I just think he is very overrated when it comes to where he is drafted and where those others are being drafted. I also think he is overrated this year because there seems to be many sources of speed this year both from SAGNOF and non-SAGNOF alike.

  79. Sos says:

    @Grey: re: add neftali for morrow or masterson in a 12 team keeper. Was thinkin that neftali is better in the long run then morrow or masterson but assuming regardless it’d be unnecessary right now. I will try to stop overmanaging but its hard to help it…

  80. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Sos: Okay, cause Neftali wasn’t great in spring and was hit yesterday too.

  81. ThePoonTycoon says:

    @jesse: i’d still probably give snider a little more time, but i’d have a quick trigger finger if he keeps up with 3 Ks a game

  82. majortommy says:

    @Grey: Just did!

  83. Terrence Mann says:


    I’d start offering trades, like, yesterday. You can easily trade two closers (maybe even three) in a three for one to get a 1B.

    Keep us updated.

  84. Am I alone in being excited about Nelson Cruz this year? And is it too early to panic if you are in last? Heh.

  85. chattanooga says:

    @ThePoonTycoon: agreed. No need to freak over Mathis playing yesterday; he usually catches Weaver’s games. I have no doubt we’ll see napoli tomorrow.

  86. majortommy says:

    @Elijah: I love Cruz this year. Expecting nice things from him. Would love to see his average come up a bit. Also very high on Lind this year. managed to grab them both in a roto money league and was extremely excited!

  87. ThePoonTycoon says:

    @Elijah: you are not alone. i have him in 2 of my 3 leagues. i was happy to see him batting 5th yesterday. hopefully he stays there (or 3rd or 4th if they are so inclined) for the season. i wanted to scream last year when they kept batting him 7th.

  88. @Elijah: I’m very excited about Cruz. Got him on both of my money teams and I think he’s going to have a huge year.

    How about big Kyle Blanks? He’s this year’s Kendry Morales, except with a real birth certificate. I noticed he was credited with a triple early in the Pods/D-Bags game but it was later taken away. Didn’t see it. What happened?

  89. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:

    @Elijah: It is way too early, obviously… that being said, I looked at my roto leagues this morning, saw that I was in last in one of them and immediately started investigating my roster to see what was “wrong” with it. It’s ridiculous, but as long as you know it’s ridiculous, then it’s cool.

  90. timSTi says:

    @Elijah: @ThePoonTycoon: I’m super excited about Cruz and the fact he’s batting 5th. Had him and Kemp last year and it killed me seeing them bat at the bottom of the order. I’ll take 5th from the both of them no problem :)

  91. The Dude says:

    @Elijah: I too have a heart on for Cruz.

    @ThePoonTycoon: Yeah, battling Kemp syndrome is tough when you see the talent but the idiot manager just sees a #7 hitter…

  92. @Awesomus Maximus:

    Yea I was just kidding about panicing. Shoot, Longoria hasn’t even gotten to hit yet. It’s the RCL league so I can’t say that I was thrilled with my roster as the draft was very competitive and it seemed like no one really ended up with what they wanted, but at the same time, I liked the decisions I made in the draft where I made them so what more do you want?

  93. The Dude says:

    I ran Felix and Greinke out there yesterday with some high expectations. Today I sit here wondering if I’m going to see the same story all year from not one but BOTH of them.

    6-7 solid innings, pulled w/ a bit of turbulence, runners left on allowed to score/relievers implode ruining a otherwise excellent start. Bleh.

    The worst part is probably that neither represented in the K department. Woe is me.

  94. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:

    @Elijah: “Sean Rodriguez will start at second base in the Rays’ season opener today against Baltimore, according to the St. Petersburg Times.”

    Was this expected? I don’t own him anywhere, so I don’t really pay close attention when his name comes up. However, I do notice that his name comes up a lot around here, so I thought this might be of interest to some of you.

  95. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:

    That wasn’t meant to be “@Elijah”, it was for everyone’s consumption.

  96. brett says:

    @Grey: Start Wandy tonight or wait until he gets his mechanics sorted out?

  97. @brett:

    Its the Giants. To me that means full steam ahead.

  98. robertloblaw says:

    what is sean marshall’s role grey?
    do you see him as a mop up long reliever? or could he become the set up guy in chi town?

  99. brett says:

    @Elijah: That’s the only reason i’m even considering.

  100. pjtres says:

    grey, which side do you prefer in a keeper?

    votto/haren or miggy cab?

  101. @brett:

    Im starting him, thats all I know.

  102. jesse says:

    @pjtres: Normally, especially in a keeper, I say that the side that gets the best overall player wins (here that would be Miggy), but Votto and Haren. I’m taking that side here, so long as I know I’m going to have enough room to keep both of them.

  103. jesse says:

    @brett: Ha, I wish I were in a position to consider sitting Wandy. This week my big debachle was considering whether start Ian Snell or not…

  104. ThePensive says:

    AGon/Elvis/Nolasco vs. Roberts/Davis/Wandy/BAnderson

    8×8 H2H (BB, K, OPS for hitters, BS, H, QS for pitchers)

    Which side?

  105. brad says:

    Pujols/BJ Upton or Morneau/Braun

  106. Denys says:

    @ThePensive: A-Gonz, Elvis, Nolasco all the way. Nolasco is a better pitcher than Wandy. Not sold on Anderson (plus he won’t get ANY run support). Davis as in Rajai Davis? R U kidding me?

    And what the hell are you gonna do with Roberts always on the DL? Balky back ain’t no joke!

  107. Denys says:

    @brad: shit, that’s a tough one…

  108. Tony says:

    @The Dude: i’d argue for kemp batting higher last year as much as anyone, but i’m pretty sure Torre knows what he’s doing…. Kemp was not good when they moved him up, which is why he stayed down, he’ll get his chance this yr with a yr of seasoning already in the books.

  109. Jarrad says:

    @quimmy: Eff you, tranny! lol

  110. Eddy says:

    I really hope that Wandy and Wolf pull me out of the shit hole that JJ, Ryan Franklin, and Zambrano left me in yesterday.

  111. ThePensive says:

    @Denys: Davis as in Chris Davis. I figure that doesn’t change much though :-P

    Good to hear anyway, since that’s the trade I offered & just got accepted.

  112. Tony says:

    @Eddy: i hope wolf bombs GAGAGAGAGA!

  113. Eddy says:

    Now that’s not nice :(

  114. @Eddy:

    I dont know why anyone thought Zambrano was gonna be decent this year/

  115. Eddy says:

    Thing is I have him in the RCL. So right off the bat that gives me an excuse to draft him, since anyone considered slightly decent is rostered.

    I have JJ, Wandy, and Kershaw as my top 3, and Big Z as my #4. Now I don’t expect him to be great, but at least decent. 6-7 innings and 2-3 ERs is something I’ll take. Not 8 ER in 1.1 innings. I was watching the game and it is true that he had some terrible luck with the singles the Braves were hitting, so I’ll write it off as just that.

    But yea, I don’t expect Zambrano to be the pitcher he was a few years ago. I DO think he can post up a sub 4 ERA season with 150 Ks, which is the reason I drafted him to begin with.

  116. Tom Reale says:

    Re: Carp…He was so pissed that nobody rubbed down his balls before the game.

    Re: Buehrle…The Rappaport movie would have to include Vislas.

    Re: Frasor…Downs is better…but Cito loves him some Frasor(I’m more of a Niles fan).

  117. @Eddy:

    I dunno, he just seems like a train wreck and he pitches at Wrigley. Thats a good staff tho otherwise it seems, especially for RCL. My top 5 are Hamels, Kershaw, Burnett, Hudson, and Phil Hughes (very optimistic here), hopefully ir works out.

  118. metsfan says:

    @Elijah: I wanted to draft Zambrano this year…lucky for me it didn’t happen.

  119. Tony says:

    @Eddy: lol my opp is tossing him tonight, GO COL!

  120. Eddy says:

    I think I’m one of the few that Hudson can excel beyond his projections, and he certainly helps that staff. Phil Hughes is a huge gamble, but ya never know.
    Tony please, you read Razzball, I’m sure one good start from Wolf is something your team can overcome in that 50×50 league of yours haha.

  121. Tony says:

    @Eddy: lol 10×10….. yes i probably can but my Opponent hasn’t tossed a starter yet, i’ve thrown haren, i’m off to a good start, i want him to bury himself NOW. Plus this guy is who i faced off with for the title last year, plus plus he’s been talking smack since draft day (so have i) plus plus PLUS…. we have a $100 side bet as to who finishes higher in the regular season in a $100 buy in league haha….

  122. @Eddy:

    Hughes doesnt seem like such a gamble to me, his K rate is excellent, and hes on the Yankees.

  123. Eddy says:

    It’s probably just me being overly cautious, but the thought of rookie pitching his first full season in Yankee Stadium isn’t too comforting. But like I said about Zambrano, anything is excusable in the RCL.
    Lol, wow, talk about putting your money where your mouth is. Well fine, IF Wolf does bad (which I’m still desperately hoping he doesn’t), then at least I’ll know a fellow Razzballer is literally getting his money’s worth out of it.

  124. Hughes has been around? Not starting but he was the setup guy on a World Series champ. It’s not like hes gonna be getting into something he hasn’t been prepared for.

  125. Tony says:

    @Eddy: yep and this week is my SHUT HIM UP week….. lol. I need this eddy!

  126. Scott Downs was great in fantasy when he was listed as a sp rp, was able to fill any spot with him. still excellent besides that.

  127. Mike says:

    Whom do I start tomorrow: Martin Prado, Kyle Blanks, or Juan Pierre?

  128. Tom Reale says:

    Sorry to bring up yesterday’s news, but I was unable to chime in due to an annual opening day vision quest I take with my Shamun (not short for S. Marcum, although I do feel he will pitch a great game yesterday). First, I saw CC being able to put it all together this year and getting to 20 wins, the AL East title and the AL CY. Then, there was Ubaldo, the good doctor, he led his team to the World Series while earning the NL CY. Evan Longoria took a break from doing all his endorsement deals and jumping out of choppers to tell me he would win the AL MVP and the World Series MVP. Then, Hanley appeared and said something very quickly in spanish that I didn’t fully understand, but he seemed determined to finally get some non-fantasy cred and win the NL MVP. I saw Heyward lifting Bobby Cox, around the waist, with one hand, in celebration, as he was holding the NL ROY in his other hand(At least I think it was the ROY award, as all I could really see was a huge thumb nail). Next, Micheal Stewart came out of nowhere, ran up to me and whispered, “don’t forget about me, I’m going to win the AL ROY this year.” Then I awoke sweating through my poncho in some sweat lodge in the middle of the woods and I just finally made my way back to a computer, only to realize that I started Lannan by accident yesterday!

  129. Smell The Glove says:

    Would you rather Austin Jackson or Sean Rodriguez for a final roster spot? Each brings something different to the table and both had solid springs.

  130. danimal35 says:

    Have Nick Johnson as my 1B, was offered Big Papi for Dotel and Frasor

    I have Soriano, Marmol, Wagner, Dotel, Frasor, F. Morales & Capps as closers

    He also has Pujols, K. Morales, Votto, Cantu…and he already traded Moobs Butler for Bartlett…his 3B is actually Cantu/Encarnacion an Nunez is his only closer

    my finger is on the trigger…any advice??

  131. Nathan says:

    @danimal35: Anyone who watches Big Papi bat would tell you to stay the heck away. He looks lost at the plate, and I’ll be floored if he’s still hitting 5th in a few months. Ask for Cantu instead.

  132. Mark says:

    That last note on Quentin was priceless!!!

  133. Steve says:

    @Grey: (sidles up to Grey and Gaby on the sofa, adjusts medallion). Sure, I’ll stay awhile.

  134. Penguin says:

    The “J-Hey Kid” has arrived!

  135. Simply Fred

    Simply Fred says:

    @Tony: What, no respect already? I’me rolling Wolf out there tonight as my first starter. Am calling on my muscle, Freak, to sit right behind home plate as the enforcer. You are doomed!

  136. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:

    @danimal35: He’s got one closer and he’s sending out offers to get closers. That means he’s in the market for some saves… make him pay for those saves. Old Papi is a small price, I’d offer him Dotel and Soriano for Votto instead.

  137. @Grey:

    The inevitable “Do you want to trade a closer” call came as the guy with Brad Lidge noticed I have 5 closers, thinking of trading for Haren. He showed some interest in Dunn and I have Bell, Aardsma, Soriano, Qualls and Dotel. I could also offer a SP+ a closer and I have Hamels, Kershaw, JJ, and Wandy.

  138. Any suggestions anyone?

  139. timSTi says:

    List of players who hit a homer in their first Major League appearance. * denotes first at bat:

    Jason Heyward* 2010
    Jordan Schafer* 2009
    Jeff Francoeur 2005
    Marty Malloy 1998
    Jermaine Dye* 1996
    Bob Horner 1978
    Chuck Tanner* 1955
    Sam Jethroe 1950
    Joe Mack 1945
    Johnny Bates 1906
    Joe Harrington* 1895

    Let’s not get too excited about Heyward. Took A-Rod 34 games to hit his first Homer and look at him now. Cust kayin’.

  140. Grey

    Grey says:

    @danimal35: Bleh

    @Mark: Thanks!

    @Steve: Hmm… Maybe you sit on the armchair. I just had franks and beans for lunch.

    @Penguin: There ya go!

    @Elijah: Dunn and Dotel should get it done, pun unavoidable. Maybe you can trade simply two closers?

    @timSTi: I had Johnny Bates his rookie year. Good stuff!

  141. danimal35 says:

    @Grey: what if I offered Ian Stewart and a Frasor (and maybe add Capps) for Votto…i love me some Stewart but I heart Votto more and the closers are just pawns to me

  142. Grey

    Grey says:

    @danimal35: Traitor! Joking. Sure, get Votto there.

  143. timSTi says:

    @danimal35: Re: closers are juts pawsn :: as Wikus Van De Merwe would say it “Fooking Pawns!”

  144. timSTi says:

    @Grey: re: “I had Johnny Bates his rookie year. Good stuff!” I passed on him for Tim Jordan who had a breakout year leading the MLB with 12 homers! That alone was more than the last place team in my roto league that year.

  145. Grey

    Grey says:

    @timSTi: Too bad he lost most of his prime years to the Crimean War.

  146. Steve says:

    Grandy hitting 9th, Thames 8th. Twitter told me.

  147. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: When you see Grandy face Lester, you’ll be glad if he misses an extra AB.

  148. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:

    @Grey: Serio, holmes.

  149. Dumbmutt says:

    Drop Morrow for Gio? W L K GIDP TB (NO ERA & WHIP)

  150. danimal35 says:

    I got mlb.tv premium package since I’m at work during most of the east coast games…love it!!…HD, and archives so I can watch any play at any time and it is DVR’d as you are watching so you can pause, rewind, ff…last year i got extra innings…this year i’m loving mlb.tv ($120)

  151. Aaron says:

    Wow a classic post Grey.

    Mini-mini Donkey, love it.

    There needs to be a classic posts link.

  152. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:

    @Grey: Grandy es no grande en contra de Lester… Lester es mas macho.

  153. SamYo says:

    Start Cueto against Cardinals ?

  154. Kazmere says:

    Sit Grandy and leave an open slot in 10 team roto, or just grandy-go-go and see what he might do from a less stressful 9 hole?

  155. Eddy says:

    I realized that I have space for both Grandy and Rajai on my roster tonight.

    Idk if Grandy not having a track record against Lester is a good thing…

  156. Steve says:

    @Grey: Yeah – I won them both (on different teams) so there’s going to be some good and bad there.

    Have Grandy on every team, actually.

  157. I liked Wieters a lot more when he wasn’t hitting ahead of Felix Pie.

  158. GopherDay says:

    @Grey: I’m not benching him, but would you consider it if he is facing a really good lefty?

  159. Grey

    Grey says:

    @GopherDay: Lester is a really good lefty.

  160. BabyBeluga says:

    FAAB – Heyward?
    How much of a remaining $94 FAAB budget would you allocate to Heyward?
    Strange system in that only call ups and waiver wire (3 day period for players dropped) require bidding – so regular daily pickups do not require FAAB.

    Mixed, 6×6 (OPS). Keeper (keep only 5 at auction or FAAB value for 3 up to 3 years) (ex. D.Jennings went for $6), but since FAAB money not that valuable in this league, considering blowing out on Heyward and just having him on my team for this year (he’s up, he’s hitting, will be solid this year, could possibly be great, etc. – and expect that someone else will bid beyond a reasonable keeper price anyway…). Or would you attempt a reasonable keeper price… and risk not having him for this year…?

  161. Grey

    Grey says:

    @BabyBeluga: Go for a reasonable price and try and get him, otherwise let him go to someone else. I’d bid $12.

  162. Eddy says:

    So I was a bit surprised to see Jones batting second for the Orioles. Were your projections for him in this number in the line up? If not, how does his value change?

  163. Eddy says:

    Btw, looking at Granderson bat, it reminds me of a left handed Alfonso Soriano, with the Ks and everything.

  164. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Eddy: I’m assuming he’ll bounce around between 2nd, 4th and 5th.

  165. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Eddy: Yeah, I could see that. He looked terrible vs. Lester.

  166. Eddy says:

    Well regardless of where he bats, let’s hope he keeps on producing like he did right now. And what’s up with the ball carrying in Tropicana? That Wieters ball earlier carried as if they were playing in Wrigley!

  167. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Eddy: Not sure, but the bottom of that order is awful.

  168. Steve says:

    @Grey: Much easier to follow Shields this year, n’est-ce pas?

  169. metsfan says:

    Napoli’s not playing again tonight…

  170. Grey

    Grey says:

    @metsfan: Scioscia hates Napoli.

  171. GopherDay says:

    @Grey: Drop Napoli for Clement?? This is rather irritating…

  172. GopherDay says:

    ****Mini mini donkey up to bat****

  173. GopherDay says:

    @GopherDay: HOMER!!!!!!!!

  174. Lava says:

    *takes a shot*

    I’m going to be an alcoholic by the end of this season, if mini-mini-donkey keeps kicking ass for our teams!

  175. Eddy says:

    Wow I am loving my money league team. Got Adam Jones, Wieters, and Stewart!

    Unfortunately Lester is my only blemish, but I’ve always been a sucker for power so let it rain!

  176. David says:

    Looks like zero wins between F-Her, JV, and Lester…

  177. Eddy says:

    Lester may still have a chance if V Mart scores

    And what’s up with Zito having a 2 hitter through 4? Oh wait, nevermind, it’s the Astros.

    Random observation- In the game MLB 2K10, the Astros are statiscally the worst hitting team in the MLB!

  178. BigFatHippo says:

    @Grey: The Commish paid 30 bucks for Heyward in our keeper, I got Strasburg for 10>Advantage Me………………

  179. SamYo says:

    Mini Donkey Jr again ! WOO
    My pitching was pretty with Lester and Wandy for awhile, then KABOOM.

  180. BigFatHippo says:


    I may keep Strasburg till he costs 40, that’s 7 years baby…………added it up on my fingers!

    Cause, you know, that’s how I roll…………..

  181. GTS says:

    Start Correia tomorrow @ ARZ?

  182. cubbies299 says:


    Hammel, Braden, Richard, Kennedy or Snell in a deep 14 teamer?

  183. Adam says:

    How do the Marlins fit Morrison and Sanchez into a future lineup? Will either move to another position/team? In 2011, who do you see at first for Florida?

  184. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Adam: Morrison’s a better long term prospect. Could see him this year if Sanchez falters, might not see him until next year.

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