Because I can’t have anything nice. That is the answer to why David Price left the game injured. For those of you worried about me, I’m gonna be okay. I have the love of a good cougar. Too bad she can’t pitch for my goddamn fantasy team! Why do you laugh at me, Fantasy Baseball Overlord? Fantasy Baseball Overlord, “Because you traded Machado for him and no man’s love will come before myself or Machado.” “I didn’t know. Is this a new fantasy commandment? All I saw was David Price’s K-rate was down last April too and he went on to win the Cy Young?!” “Are you interrogating me? The man who molded Billy Butler’s moobs with my own two hands.” Sorry, have I not serviced you correctly? Would you like a reach around? Do you have to rain frogs down on my team? Hello? Oh, I guess I lost him, stupid iPhone. And I lost David Price too. So, Price left because of triceps tightness. Hopefully after a DL stint, he’ll be back to his old dbnsjicns Oops, will cross my fingers when I’m done with the post. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Diamondbacks said J.J. Putz needs elbow surgery. Imagine the doctor misreads Putz’s chart and J.J. walks out with a new putz that is an arm, elbow to hand. Would that have him get to third base and home all with one swing of the bat? It would help him avoid that awkwardness when you try to hug and undo a girl’s pants. He could also towel himself down while opening a door. Actually, this sounds like a plus-plus, or rather, a putz-putz! I’m reinventing the knuckle shuffle! The Diamondbacks also officially announced yesterday what I announced the day before, Heath Bell would be the closer. Ya know this means he’s going to crap your face and call it Google Glass, right? You know this, right? I do, and I still grabbed him. I’d also grab David Hernandez in case the only thing Bell rings in are blown saves. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Here’s what I said last November about Theo Epstein, “A new GM can toss out the used-up-and-spit-out pieces he inherits, right? It’s like when a new boss comes into a flailing company and all the employees start quaking in their boots that they’re gonna get fired because they’re unproductive. Alfonso Soriano, Marlon Byrd and Tyler […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
Heading into this fantasy season, Carlos Zambrano had all the momentum of three red bulls and a pot of coffee. Flashing a high K-rate in Spring Training and a change of scenery to the flamboyant Marlins Park had a lot of sleeper buzz going around the water cooler. And, for the first month and a […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
Kendrys returns (or is the verb singular there?) this year, but can’t play every day, and when he does, he needs to DH. So, since Mark Trumbo fields about as well as Dalton Trumbo fielded commie accusations, it seemed like Trumbo (Mark) would be benched a lot. In years past, Scioscia would’ve went with some […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
Trini (Psychic Friends Network – RCL 22) held onto first place in the Master standings, adding a point to make 108 total. Carlos Gonzalez hit .500 with 4 home runs and 9 RBI to pace the Psychics’ offense, while James McDonald gave up just 1 run in winning 2 games to anchor their pitching staff. […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
Paul Goldschmidt homered yesterday for the 2nd time in two games and third in his last four games. He’s also hitting around .400 in the last week. Goldschmidt may have had some Growing Pains, but don’t call him Tracey. Neil Young and I have been searchin’ for a heart of Goldschmidt, and finally AuShizz is […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ernesto Frieri got the save yesterday in the 11th inning, but Downs came on in the 9th in a tie game. On one hand, teams hold back their closer in a tie game in away games, in case they get the lead. On the other hand, sometimes whoever pitches the ninth is the closer. On […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
Right now on our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater the top outfielders are Hamilton, Kemp, Beltran, CarGo, Braun, Bruce, Jones, Grandy and then Bryan LaHair. Now, I’m not saying LaHair doesn’t belong in that company– No, that’s exactly what I’m saying. For 1st basemen, he’s currently above Prince Fielder, Votto and Miggy. I know, you think […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
Don Mattingly said that Kenley Jansen is now his closer. His exact words were, “There was a time and a place to put a closer in the setup role and an inferior pitcher in the closer role and that time has past. I will know try to figure out why I ever shaved my mustache. […]Please, blog, may I have some more?