Took a few years, but the Twins found out that youth is wasted on the Young as they sang, “May You Stay (Away) Forever, Young.”  Yesterday, the Detroit Tigers became the first club to acquire both Meat Hooks.  A distinction that I’m not sure other clubs wanted.  It’s not like we can look at his stats this year and say Hubert H. Homerfree Retrodome was stifling him either.  Delmon Young had 3 homers in away games this year in 157 ABs.  That’s pathetic.  That’s the same number of away homers as Carlos Ruiz.  That’s the same number of homers Pence hit in the last ten games.  Sure, Young had a good 2010, but that was preceded by three miserable years.  Yet, he a fresh start, and he seems like the type that will be happy in new surroundings, until the novelty wears off.  (See, he needs to find happiness within, but we’ll leave that to Deepak Chopra.)  To show his happiness, he hit a homer yesterday, creaming the ball in his first at-bat after getting squeezed out of Twinkie town.  To boil this down into something that could fit on a fortune cookie, I’d pick up Delmon to see if his newfound happiness can last a month-plus.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Brennan Boesch – I was gonna tell ya’ll that Boesch’s playing time wouldn’t be hurt by the acquisition of Delmon, but then Boesch went and hurt his thumb and will miss a few games.  I think when he returns he’ll be back in the lineup with Magglio Ordonez moving to a backup role.  Though Leyland is so old school that he doesn’t even change his lineup — “Hey, Boesch is usually our three hitter and he’s out, so let’s put Delmon right in there” — so I wouldn’t count on Cancer Man sitting the vet.  In other words, it’s all up in the air with a capital Clooney.

Ryan Raburn – 1-for-5 with his 11th home run.  With Guillen doing what Guillen does best (toasting Pop Tarts while injured — I’m guessing this is what most ballplayers do while injured, don’t know for sure), Raburn should see most of the starts at 2nd base.  If he rattled off one good month, it would surprise me less than his five bad months.

Brian Wilson – 2/3 IP, 3 ER after giving himself the green light to pitch.  Sorta like the exec who gave Ishtar the green light.  Hey, old timey reference, good to see you!  Romo’s out for real with an elbow something-or-other, so if you’re desperate for vulture saves I’d grab Ram-Ram or Affeldt.  Those aren’t ringing endorsements.

Pablo Sandoval – Left the game after a foul off his foot.  His teammates said this wasn’t the first time someone had to leave somewhere because of a foul coming off Pablo’s foot.

Nate Schierholtz –  The man whose last name is German for pantyhose has gone deep in back-to-back games.  When he gets hot (for about a week or so), he gets hot.

Jim Thome – Hit his 600th home run yesterday.  Someone who hasn’t followed baseball since 1995 is really impressed.

Francisco Liriano – 6 IP, 5 ER and the conshellation win as if he’s gotten so many other types of wins this year.  When I read the box score and it says “F Liriano,” I agree.

Ben Revere – 2-for-5 with his 21st steal.  With Young being traded, Revere should see everyday time.  If you need steals, SAGNOF!

Dan Uggla – 1-for-4 as he started a one game hit streak.  Adam Dunn, “Pfft!  I’ve had like 12 of those this year!”

Jose Constanza – 3-for-3, I can’t say I truly understand the Constanza, but he has 5 steals in the last ten games, he’s starting every day and hitting.

Eric Thames – Now has 3 homers in 4 games.  He’s decorating box scores better than Kelly on Design Star.  What, my ex-girlfriend programmed it into my Tivo last year and I figured since it was recorded I’d watch it.  Stop judging me.

Brett Lawrie – Hit his third home run in his 10th game.  I feel like he’s trying to encroach on my Desmond Jennings rookie nookie love.  Which is kinda hot.  Fight for my love!

Adam Lind – Hit his 2nd homer in 3 games as he remembers why I have him on my freakin’ teams.

Mike Carp – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs with 2 homers.  Love that he hit 2 homers; lurve that he hit them in Safeco.

Lucas Duda – 3-for-4 as he hit his second homer in as many games.  You say hot schmotato, I say hot schmotahto.

Leo Nunez – 1 IP, 3 ER with his 5th blown save.  He also took a grounder off his pitching hand, which could cause him to miss some time.  On top of that, Mujica’s injured and Mike Dunn didn’t compliment Hanley on his wash bucket drum solo, so Steve Cishek could see some saves over the next few days.

Mike Stanton – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 27th homer.  He’s on pace for 34 homers and 90 RBIs at the age of 21.  Boing!

Ryan Doumit – 4-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 6th home run.  Better yet, he’s healthy!  Though that might not be true by the time you read this.

Jesus Montero – Jon Heyman suspects the Yankees won’t recall their prospect until September.  Heyman was also who suspected Montero would be called up by now.  I think I’d like to play Heyman in Clue.

Carlos Zambrano – Supposedly, Sammy Sosa texted Big Z some words of support.  He told him to pretend he doesn’t speak English and say, “Baseball has been berry berry good to me.”

Ryan Braun – 2-for-4 with the slam & legs.  Now has 23 homers and 23 steals.  He’s like Lady Justice balancing his power and speed.

Andre Ethier – 0-for-3, hitting .297 with ten homers and zero steals on the year. Be fun to see where this schmohawk gets drafted next year.  I’m guessing still higher than he deserves.

Brandon Allen – 3-for-4 and 6 for his last 10.  Conor Jackson who?!  The yawnstipating 1st baseman the A’s usually play.  I know, Random Italicalized Voice, it’s a figure of speech.  ‘Conor Jackson who’ is a figure of speech?  Forget it.

Gio Gonzalez – 6 IP, 4 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks.  I’ll keep this short and not that sweet.  When he’s in (seriously, dubya tee eff with that stadium name?) giving up four runs to the O’s, things are not okay.  He can’t be started anywhere now.

Nelson Cruz – Hit his 26th homer then left with cramps.  Has been almost 28 days since his last injury.

Cole Hamels – Underwent a “precautionary MRI.”  The Phils are “optimistic” it’s “nothing” but Hamels still “may miss” his next start.  The preceding was brought to you by Zagat.

  1. Colin says:


    I give:

    E. Young, Jr.
    Edwin Jackson

    It’s a dynasty keeper league, but I am neck and neck with 2 others. Should I do it?

  2. jackie says:

    What no mention of Casper “the friendly schmohawk” Wells? Went deep again for the 3rd straight day! Hitting .371 with 4 homers in August.

  3. The Sequential Hermaphrodite says:

    Drop Gio for Bedard or Niese?

  4. wow i can’t believe i actually tried to add steve ceshik

    is mike dunn the add?

  5. ‘morning Grey. I have space for two SNAGOFs and my choices are Revere, EY2, and Bourgois. Am I right in thinking the best combo is the first two? Or do you have another suggestion?

    I’m also employing Endy Chavez while he’s hot but could chose to drop him to keep all three of the aforementioned speed demons.

    This is in a 20-team redraft roto league.

  6. Mr2Bits says:

    Of course Gio would load the bases in the 7th and then his relief would come in and clear them for him blowing his QS. I freaking hate fantasy baseball. Shit stresses me out too much as I couldn’t dream up these scenarios!

  7. SpecialFNK says:

    yahoo, roto, 5×5, 12 team, winners league. currently in 1st with 6.5 lead, but there are 5 teams within 10 points.

    C- McCann, 1B- Butler, 2B- Phillips, 3B- Freese, SS- Furcal, OF- Granderson, OF- Bruce, OF- D Young, UT- Ethier, Ut- Carp. BN- JD Martinez, Freeman, Guzman, Kubel. DL- Hanely

    are any of these players on waivers better for the rest of the season..
    could use more help in HR, but also R/SB too.
    Jose Constanza, Casper Wells, Kyle Blanks, Will Venable, Eric Thames, Peter Bourjos, Jason Bay, Lucas Duda, Brandon Belt, Brandon Allen, Dexter Fowler, Alcides Escobar.

    is is time to finally cut Ethier? I only use him against RH (.327/.412/.481/.894) since he sucks vs LH (.231/.271/.321/.592), or is he worth keeping and only using this way?

  8. Oilcan Giuseppe says:

    Ethier has been traded five times(5!) in one of my leagues.Thankfully,I had nothing to do w/ any of these trades because he’s just one of those guys I wont go near unless desperate.

    what the f**k is going on w/ Gio?….A couple months back I chose Bumgarner/Niemann as part of a trade instead of Gio.I feel like a damn genius right now.Its not classy to rub it in on that guy personally,so I will obnoxiously brag about it here.

    I cant believe Im considering adding Kotchman to any team,but I have to ask….12 team 5×5 h2h league,for a UTL spot,Carp or Kotchman?

  9. Carns says:

    I don’t want to sound blasphemous, but I can’t keep it in any longer. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH A-GON?!?!?! Shoulder? Vagina? Where is this man’s power? If you would’ve told me Petco –> Fenway and hitting .352 through mid-August, I would’ve told you 30 bombs. Easy.

    Yeah the 90+ steaks are nice, but the dude has one, 1, uno, eins, uuh (pretty sure that is not how you spell the french “one”) home run since July 7th and we are coming up quick on the 2 month mark in which he will have hit only a single f***ing dong.

    Is it his shoulder? Is it just a seismic shift of chance? Before when he did this at the beginning of the year, he went on a binge when he broke out. I’m hoping another binge is due…. I can’t have my 1B hitting one home run in September, if that.

  10. golfnut says:

    Is now the time to worry about Pineda and drop him??
    Maybe for Buerhle or Luebke?

  11. Wilsonian says:

    Doumit, Revere, Moreland, Blanks? Pick one.

  12. Kevin says:

    A-Rod or Mike Stanton for 2012 (and beyond) keeper league? 10 teams Roto, Hr, XBH, RBI, OPS, Ks against, AVG, R, SB, BB.

  13. trick dad says:

    yunel escobar or jesus guzman at SS?

  14. Johnson says:

    Lorenzo Cain gets regular at bats this year? How about 2012?

  15. STRAWberry says:

    Grey –

    Izzy notched number 300 last night (I’m only a few behind), does he keep the job or do we drop him for Parnell?

  16. Rabbit says:

    The Twins may not care for their young, but we all know that Tigers eat their young. Mmmm, barbecued meat hook.

  17. jon says:

    Heyward or BJ Upton ROS?

  18. Brew Crew says:

    Allen or Carp if can only add one?? Worth dropping Moose for??

  19. Howard says:

    @jon interesting comment. I was about to offer a trade of Upton for Heyward.

  20. papasmurf says:

    Jennings, Stanton, Bruce, Lawrie oh my. Jennings, Stanton, Bruce, Lawrie oh my. Then I have Hosmer maybe take a step forward next year. Even my Latos intolerance seems to be improving as he’s becoming easier to digest lately. I am psyched for 2012!

    Too bad 2011 landed in the crapper before the calendar even turned to May.

  21. Ewoks says:

    I’d like to rename to Atheltico. To be honest, I don’t even know how to pronounce words with punctuation in them.

  22. Blake says:

    Best of these bottom feeder (potential) 2 start options next week:

    Nova vs OAK, @ BAL
    Vargas @ CLE (Carmona), vs CHW
    Carmona vs SEA (Vargas), vs KC

  23. Eddy says:

    Just to confirm:

    Terry Collins said the transition to closer will begin now. Dropped Melancon for Parnell in a league.


    Since no one has asked, I figure I’ll be the first one: Start Niemann in the second game of the double header tonight? The full BoSox lineup will be going in the first game for sure. Not sure about second.

    Also, I have a bit of a dilemma with my lineup tonight. I need to bench someone but I have no idea who.

    Crawford (double header)
    Constanza (he’s white-hot right now) v. J.Sanchez
    Lind (hot, but struggles against Vargas and it’s lefty-lefty)

  24. Lob Ball says:

    Please pick 2 OF to lead me to the Promise Land – ROTO all batting categories:

    S Smith

  25. birdis78 says:

    Start Anibal Sanchez @ Colorado today?

  26. Hi Grey: Are Shields, Luebke, Chacin, and Nova all worth starting today? I have all of them in my 20-team league and I don’t see a strong reason to sit any of them … I’ve just never had four starters playing all on the same day in this league.

  27. Wilsonian says:

    Anybody else having an issue with Yahoo? It hasn’t updated any scores or stats and hasn’t sent through any waiver claims that should have gone through 4 hours ago.

  28. MattTruss

    MattTruss223 says:

    @Wilsonian – They posted this at about 10am EST:

    Please note: Stats and transactions for Monday, August 15 have been delayed. We are actively resolving the situation and expect to have leagues updated within 2 hours. We apologize for the inconvenience.

  29. Wilsonian says:

    @Grey: I redact my previous question…

    Revere, Blanks, Moreland, Doumit, Ibanez, Dunn. Pick one.

  30. CL says:


    10 Team Dynasty… for 2B:

    Kendrick (he hasn’t done much in a month), EY2, Altuve?

  31. crock says:

    Delmon or guzman ros?

  32. Robert says:

    @Grey: what do you expect from Randall Delgado vs a Giants team w/o Beltran and Panda?

  33. Ralph says:


    Josh Willingham, Jason Bay or Delmon Young?

    Miguel Olivo, Geovanny Soto, Kurt Suzuki, Russell Martin, Chris Iannetta, AJ Pierzynski or Ryan Doumit?


  34. Colin says:

    Thanks for the reply Grey. I also have another offer:

    I give:

    JD Martinez

    I get:


  35. Salty Balty says:

    Start Chacin v. FLA and Luebke v. NYM tonight? Not comfortable with Chacin, but I think I have to . . .

  36. Pooch says:

    I have Neil Walker riding the bench. Can’t trade him since he’s been mediocre recently/half inactive league. Don’t need any hitting stats, leading most of them. Have Lawrie in his spot.

    Is it ok to drop him, even if for save vultures like Ram-Ram or Cishek?

  37. Dingo says:

    man, I must’ve had that same F Liriano thought about 20 times in April and May.

  38. Wake Up says:

    I think Pineda is turning into a non-starter much like Gio. Agree?

  39. JoeC says:

    Gio didn’t actually pitch that badly. Had only given up the solo Weiters home run and skated through 6 innings.

    In the top of the 7th, he gave up 2 singles and a walk to load the bases with no outs. At this point, he was removed for a reliever, who proceeded to allow all the inherited runners to score.

    Still, Gio has been bad since the All-Star break. But he pitched over his head pre-All-Star break, so I chalk it up to natural regression.

    The biggest problem with Gio is the team he plays for. The A’s were supposed to be bullpen-strong this season, but it’s been crap. And of course we all know about their inability to hit the ball, which is sorta fundamental (like reading, yo!). Wins from here on out are going to be rare for Gio, methinks.

  40. Colin says:

    LoL Grey.

    Ok how about this one:

    I give:

    Young Jr.
    E. Jackson

    I get:


    My pitching will be in shambles if I dont do something soon. They will be shutting down Eovaldi and Zimmermann soon. I may have no choice! Fielder is a free agent next year and I might lose him to the AL.

  41. Jack of Spades says:

    what are your thoughts on Matusz? I was considering stashing him or Moore.

  42. jared says:

    with hamels, hanson, and baker all having problems i need to pick up another pitcher. Should i just drop baker? or one of my outfield , my outfield is:
    Zobrist also used for mi
    and carp who may have to keep to replace hosmer
    Im thinking of dropping ethier, what are your thoughts?

  43. Johnson says:

    Should I hold Lorenzo Cain until the end of the year in a keeper, to see what he can do? or drop him and pickup someone I can play now? I’ve pretty much got 3rd place locked up and have a shot a 2nd place. I would add whoever is hot at the moment and play him at util

  44. The talented Mr. Dope man says:

    Unbelievable, i held on to parnell, even after the trade deadline, until last saturday’s FAAB. dropped him for Arodys Viscaino in a keeper league, and now they announce they will “begin transitioning him into the closer role”. F U METS

  45. Johnson says:

    Can you please rank the following for a keeper league. S. Baker, Arodys Vizcaino, Homer Bailey, Kuroda, Jacob Turner. They can all be kept at the same price

  46. Johnson says:

    Can you please rank the following for a keeper league. S. Baker, Arodys Vizcaino, Homer Bailey, Kuroda, Jacob Turner. They can all be kept at the same price.

  47. Johnson says:

    Follow up question. drop Lorenzo Cain for Revere, Matsui, Kubel, Markakis, Swisher?

  48. HebrewHammer says:

    What do you make of Vance Worley. He was just dropped after our trade deadline. I seriously need another SP, but am wondering how much of my FAAB I should be risking at this point to acquire him. Is he just a pitcher I should be streaming, or should I bid a decent chunk (in a keeper league so the teams out of it might want him too at this point) and hold onto him the rest of the year. I have 335 innings left until I hit our max. I have 3 SP (CC, Kershaw, and Tim Hudson) plus the Immortal Ivan Nova, who I’m starting this week because I really need wins. Let me know your thoughts on Worley.
    Thanks. Keep up the good work.

  49. Colin says:

    Guys I appreciate the input, but maybe I need to explain my situation better. I am very close to first in K’s, can make up ground in holds. I have Eovaldi and Zimmermann getting shut down soon. I have 2nd place in saves locked up. I am 2nd in homers and RBI which has stabilized. Marcum and Nolasco are pretty solid pitchers for NL-only and need to replace the two getting shutdown? I may lose Fielder to the AL next year so what’s the point of keeping him? Might as well get something for him while I can.

    Knowing this info does it change your opinion?

  50. chata says:

    i have been starting gio in my razz league for the past 2 weeks .
    anyone who has seen his recent struggles should recognize that
    he’s border-line head-case ….. almost pouting when the calls don’t
    go his way .
    when nibblers pout , few umps are going to give them breaks .

  51. jared says:

    I already have carp.. so should I just drop Baker to pick up pitchers to stream or hold him for playoffs and drop ethier or one of my other outfielders to stream pitchers. Thanks

  52. BobbyI says:

    @Grey….5×5 roto, i have to drop one: Pagan or BJ Upton. Category-wise, biggest offensive needs are SBs and AVG by far, little emphasis on RBI, and HRs and Runs really dont need to be taken into considertaion. ROS, which of the 2 would you keep on the roster?

  53. Wilsonian says:

    Any chance that T. Wood gets into the rotation (or Volquez) with Willis hurting?

    If so, would you take any of the following over Gio:


  54. Colin says:

    Thanks for the help Grey, appreciate it.

  55. Doog says:

    You like giving Rasmus for Bumgarner in a dynasty points league?

  56. Just saw Rauch is on the DL….who is the best vulture save in that bunch of BJ’s?

    Are any of them better then the mess in SF or FLA for vulturing?

  57. Grey-te, is Gio worth dropping for any of these – McDonald, Cecil, Leake or McCarthy? Or should I just sit Gio and make him think about what he’s done?

  58. Wilsonian says:

    Do you think Espinosa is worth hanging on to in a 16 Team H2H league, or should I drop him for someone like Blanks?

  59. Mookiewilson says:

    Just traded for Lee and need to drop one of Niemann, Danks or Beachy. Who is odd man out for the rest of the year? Need K’s and whip. Thanks!

  60. agarthered says:

    Got beltran going to dl, should i go with Carp/Kotchman/Fowler

  61. AdamH says:

    Do you like Raburn, Lillibridge, Chisenhall, Betemit, or Chris Davis over McGehee ROS? Have Prado I can move to 3B if one of the first two.


  62. Oilcan Giuseppe says:

    start Gordon vs Nova/Yankees or Sandoval @ Delgado/Braves?

    10 team 8×8 h2h

  63. Oilcan Giuseppe says:

    also,same league….start Ubaldo @wh sox?

  64. chata says:

    my crystal ball says niemann gives up 6 runs …. 4 innings .
    the bb’s are going to kill him .

  65. royce! says:

    I’m desperately clinging to the hope that I can move into the last playoff spot in my cursed h2h. Thinking about picking up Delgado for potentially 2 starts (@CHC and @NYM). Which bench bat should get the old heave-ho?: Espinosa, Heyward, JD Martinez, or (not so) Robot Jones? I could also drop Eovaldi- picked him up for 2 starts next week as well.

  66. royce! says:

    which I have completely given up. Or forsaken, depending on your perspective.

  67. royce! says:

    And just like that Plouffe’s single costs me a point in WHIP. I’m sorry, ya Plouffe!

  68. Steve says:

    Prince caught stealing home? WTF?

  69. chata says:

    man , was i completely wrong about niemann tonight .

    guess i just can’t forget the past .

  70. Steve says:

    Jeez, I dropped Niemann cos I didn’t want to start him against the Sox and I needed the roster spot.

  71. VinWins

    VinWins says:

    Lawrie’s putting on a show for family and friends down from BC for the Seattle series.

  72. Eddy says:

    Are we aware there was a player named Peek-A-Boo Veach that played three seasons in the 1880s? Kind of blew my mind.

  73. Howard says:

    What a night for sonofabench, Niemann, Rasmus. Of course I started Chacin!

  74. Steve says:

    Lind is crushing my spirit.

    Mind you, he’s not alone.

  75. Wilsonian says:

    Is Casper a good deep league pickup over Revere? Dude hit another HR tonight…

  76. BucLover says:

    Grey, should I hang with Howie at 2B? I’ve been reading that he may be involved in a time share with Izturis and others. Jose Altuve and Orlando Hudson can be picked up, and I’ve been using Wiggington at Utility on occasion. With Tabata off the DL, I think I need to make some room. Maybe a better question is, who between Kendrick, Tabata, and Wiggington would you let go?

  77. VinWins

    VinWins says:

    Scoring 6 in the 1st inning in Seattle should mean you’re going to win, right?

    Fielder was caught off third base on what appeared to be either a botched squeeze attempt or a missed sign. Fielder broke home on the first pitch to Betancourt, who swung through it.

  78. DjLanceRauch says:

    Start Buerhle vs the tribe tomorrow?

  79. Martin says:

    @grey- I have had it with j. chacin. He always gets lit up in the 1st inning and his k/bb sucks (which is a stat in my league). Should i trade him for ted lilly?

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