Here we are again to talk about you, because who really wants to talk about fantasy baseball players all the time? Wouldn’t you rather talk about fantasy baseball playa’s? Tehol talks about dragons, bad actors, and himself every week and we all read that. When I thought about what to make from ten, I thought of Razzballs Missing Link, the Pacfic Northwest Skysquatch. Drunkest yeti ever! I assume because he is from the rainy part of the country that he must own Ten. I was never really a big fan of Pearl Jam but I have to assume Ten is owned like Frampton Comes Alive. Funny Pearl Jam story, back in like 98-99ish, my buddy Chuck got two tickets to a Pearl Jam concert at the Forum with a special guest. I wanted no part of it, but he needed a ride so I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go so she could drive. Long story short, the special guest was “X” and for those that follow my music could understand the pain that caused me when I found out what I missed. Cool follow up though, I ended up seeing them at Street Scene in San Diego years later the same night I saw James Brown before he passed. Even funnier James Brown story, this one time … I had no James Brown story. What? A whole intro with no link, Jay can’t have that kind of satisfaction. Pearl Jam…X….James Brown!
The RCL Top-10, Week 10
This is the best around!… For the season… so far. Do you want to be Daniel Larusso? Then you got to beat all the Cobra Kai’s and win the All Valleys RCL Championship. Word around the office is that the grand prize is Sky jumping out of a cake in your living room and doing a strip tease to the the tune of Moment of Truth by Survivor. The table below contains the rank, team name, league name, RCL points, and League Index.
| 1 | Backdoor Sliders | Razzball Champion’s League | 113.25 | 106 |
| 2 | Unpainted Arizona | HA! | 111.73 | 102 |
| 3 | Wake Up | FCL | 111.08 | 108 |
| 4 | Astros to Mouth | Spiders and Snakes | 110.52 | 99 |
| 5 | RA the Rugged D ickeys | King Ralph’s Emporium | 108.10 | 102 |
| 6 | drunc orks | Euro Razzball | 106.68 | 99 |
| 7 | I’ve got Wood. … Phrasing! | Take on Jay #1 | 105.48 | 102 |
| 8 | St Louis Browns | Don’t even remember last year | 105.25 | 99 |
| 9 | Money Ballers | JB’s RCL | 105.02 | 102 |
| 10 | Nick the Dick | FCL | 104.86 | 108 |
Not much changing this week, as the leaders have started to stabilize and the top 3 are the same three teams just in a different order. Backdoor moves back into first and the Unpainted falls back to 2nd. Wake stays at 3rd as he leads the FCL. The Mouth moves up three spots to fourth followed by 5th place repeater RA the Dick. Orcs stumbles two spots to sixth while the Wood has risen back into the top 10. Browns and Ballers also return back into the ten at eighth and ninth respectively. Much respect. Oh, yeah the Dick limps to 10th. I hate him and his two teams in the top 10. Great job everyone, hope to see you all back here next week or not.
Razzball Commenter Leagues 2015 MASTER STANDINGS
CATEGORY LEADERS, WEEK 9
| R | 63 | Team smith | Grey’s Mustache Wax |
| HR | 21 | Have A Cigar | Manitoba |
| RBI | 59 | Big Papy | Don’t even remember last year |
| SB | 18 | Vin Raucous | SchmidtHeads |
| AVG | .362 | Simi Sioux | RCL FIPping the Bird |
| K | 113 | St Louis Browns | Don’t even remember last year |
| W | 12 | Team Sullivan | Johhny’s Bench |
| SV | 16 | Seattle Rocks | CharlieHustlers |
| ERA | 0.66 | Southerly Busters | $12 Salads |
| WHIP | 0.72 | Team Neidecker | The Donkey is a Unicorn |
* ERA and WHIP are based off 40 innings pitched minimum
The return of the weekly leaders gives us many things but this week it’s extra special. No, it’s not because I’m in it, because I’m not. It’s because not one writers sponsored league is here. What we do have is a top ten team in the Browns, two teams from the same league, and another Canadian themed league. Seriously, since I’ve been doing this it feels like we have a dozen leagues referencing Canada in the title. Razzball: We’re big in Canada! Miss ya Nick. Great job all you guys…or maybe girls, I never know what to say.
Vin Wins!… Again!
Vin returns with a gift for me and you. He has hand selected top hitting and pitching performers for the week. The two tables below are some extra love that I get to keep sharing so I can talk more about you. Hey wait a minute, I’m the hateful one around these parts. My name is not here, screw you guys for being good. I’m kidding, of course. Look it over, its all about you. Seriously there is some impressive stuff below. Take note for all the “I’m out of it” fantasy baseballers, a good week can still kick start you.
Top Offensive Performances of the Week
| Team | League | H | AB | AVG | R | HR | RBI | SB |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Team Kapuscinski | JB’s RCL | 107 | 315 | .3397 | 49 | 11 | 46 | 12 |
| Grey’s Shrill Voice | Grey’s Mustache Wax | 96 | 289 | .3322 | 56 | 12 | 42 | 12 |
| Bleacher Bums | WET TAIL!! | 92 | 281 | .3274 | 47 | 8 | 45 | 12 |
| Chisenhall Over | Take on Jay #6 | 101 | 315 | .3206 | 51 | 15 | 52 | 4 |
| 69 Dodge Chargers | Muscle Car Fanatics | 106 | 335 | .3164 | 51 | 10 | 41 | 12 |
| Feverish Beavers | Grey’s Mustache Wax | 89 | 285 | .3123 | 52 | 12 | 58 | 8 |
| Team mota | BATTAMANIA! | 89 | 289 | .3080 | 57 | 18 | 49 | 9 |
| Arizona Au Shizz | Northern Exposure | 90 | 293 | .3072 | 52 | 11 | 43 | 11 |
| Team Cohen | Dr. Bosch’s Anti-Agers | 86 | 284 | .3028 | 50 | 17 | 50 | 10 |
| Team AL KOHLIC | ECFBL | 102 | 342 | .2982 | 51 | 15 | 43 | 15 |
| Vin Raucous | SchmidtHeads | 95 | 319 | .2978 | 54 | 12 | 55 | 18 |
| Left Arm Of God | The Razzies Challenge | 83 | 279 | .2975 | 44 | 12 | 50 | 15 |
| Danny Almonte’s Funky Bunch | Riverboat Fantasy | 83 | 279 | .2975 | 47 | 13 | 52 | 9 |
| Wiffleball Master | Robust Herd | 96 | 323 | .2972 | 51 | 15 | 49 | 7 |
| Team maxwell | Hodgepadres ‘R’ Us | 96 | 331 | .2900 | 59 | 17 | 56 | 8 |
| No Comment | Dropped Third Strike | 95 | 335 | .2836 | 45 | 16 | 54 | 9 |
| Big Papy | Don’t even remember last year | 91 | 323 | .2817 | 49 | 13 | 59 | 9 |
| Yu Out | Grey’s Mustache Wax | 89 | 318 | .2799 | 48 | 13 | 55 | 12 |
| Have A Cigar | Manitoba | 87 | 313 | .2780 | 57 | 21 | 53 | 5 |
| Dave Winfield of Dreams | The Downward Spiral | 81 | 312 | .2596 | 53 | 17 | 55 | 10 |
Top Pitching Performances of the Week
| Team | League | IP | ER | ERA | K | BB | HA | W | WHIP | Saves |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| King SoDo | West Coast Razzball | 81.1 | 19 | 2.1 | 76 | 14 | 69 | 6 | 1.02 | 6 |
| Machine Elves | Two Out Rally | 76.2 | 11 | 1.29 | 71 | 21 | 56 | 10 | 1 | 1 |
| Lloyd Christmas | Take on Jay #2 | 76 | 12 | 1.42 | 77 | 25 | 60 | 5 | 1.12 | 3 |
| Southlake Mark | Hodgepadres ‘R’ Us | 74.1 | 15 | 1.82 | 62 | 11 | 56 | 6 | 0.9 | 4 |
| Burchard Black Sox | The Filthy Spawn of Beddict | 74 | 17 | 2.07 | 74 | 11 | 52 | 8 | 0.85 | 2 |
| Team DeStefano | Fantasy Baseball Union | 73.2 | 14 | 1.71 | 87 | 14 | 55 | 8 | 0.94 | 4 |
| Melvin’s Kids | Skunk Beard | 73 | 15 | 1.85 | 91 | 16 | 47 | 8 | 0.86 | 4 |
| Team Jew | Riverboat Fantasy | 73 | 14 | 1.73 | 70 | 17 | 52 | 9 | 0.95 | 1 |
| Team Rogers | Beddict’s butth*le pleasures | 68.2 | 12 | 1.57 | 72 | 9 | 42 | 7 | 0.74 | 5 |
| Bobita Boopi | Razzball Champions League | 68.2 | 15 | 1.97 | 74 | 16 | 55 | 5 | 1.03 | 11 |
| Creative Chaos | ECFBL | 67.2 | 13 | 1.73 | 56 | 10 | 50 | 6 | 0.89 | 5 |
| Cookies For Days | Rotokings | 66.2 | 9 | 1.21 | 78 | 18 | 42 | 7 | 0.9 | 6 |
| Slippin Jimmy | Razzball Soccer Sympathizers | 65.1 | 10 | 1.38 | 60 | 13 | 50 | 6 | 0.96 | 1 |
| Astros to Mouth | Spiders and Snakes | 64.2 | 9 | 1.25 | 77 | 11 | 53 | 6 | 0.99 | 7 |
| F Off I’m Vacuuming | Jay’s Family and Friends | 63 | 9 | 1.29 | 68 | 14 | 52 | 8 | 1.05 | 2 |
| Vin Scully’s Homeboys | King Ralph’s Emporium | 61.2 | 10 | 1.46 | 54 | 15 | 54 | 4 | 1.12 | 7 |
| Eye of the Teigeler’s | Take on Jay #3 | 61.1 | 10 | 1.47 | 73 | 13 | 44 | 5 | 0.93 | 7 |
| Werth his weight in gold | Damaged Goods | 60 | 9 | 1.35 | 55 | 14 | 44 | 5 | 0.97 | 2 |
| Team Martens | Take on Jay #4 | 59.2 | 12 | 1.81 | 75 | 14 | 37 | 7 | 0.85 | 4 |
| Philly Jawns | CharlieHustlers | 58.1 | 10 | 1.54 | 75 | 15 | 39 | 5 | 0.93 | 11 |
Making Trades and Taking Names
The table below shows the team name and player(s) that each team gave up in the trade. All data provided by Vin Wins! All Commentary by Me!
32 trades this week! Thirty two mother sucking trades. There were so many trades I had to highlight ten. In all actuality there were only eight I wanted to do but Grey traded with Sky in his attempt to beat me in the perts league. I also made a trade and I’m an egotistical bastard who likes to talk about himself. The first two on the list are the same team moving two studs for two studs. Personally I would of held Goldy and tried to move Harper for Giancarlo. Cochise will really need Abreu to have a huge second half, which he should, but still feel like Goldy is safer. The Longo for Hamels deal makes me scratch my head and I’ve never had dandruff. Why would anyone want Longo? Thats just crazy IMO. I think Hamels most likely moves to a contender which can really boost his win totals. I can’t always be a lover here, seriously I have the word HATE in my acronym. I can’t wrap my head around J.D. Martinez for Gose. I looked at the leagues and this only helps the one owner. Gose doesn’t even play every day! This deal is the big winner of the turd of the week by just edging out the Cespedes for Devon deal. I don’t get it. An injured flash in the pan for an OF2? Okay, maybe he is more than a hot April hitter, but not for that price. My favorite move in this bunch is the Archer for Rosenthal deal. *stands up and claps* It’s just so beautiful *wipes tear* If any of the traders see their names here I encourage you to come into the comments and lets discuss the deals. I would love to know more about the why.
| 1 | Don’t even remember last year | Cochise County Varmints: Bryce Harper | Hate Us Cause They Aint Us: Jose Abreu |
| 2 | Don’t even remember last year | Cochise County Varmints: Paul Goldschmidt | Trout Fished: Giancarlo Stanton |
| 3 | Johhny’s Bench | Dublin Dukes: Evan Longoria | Oz TresDactylian: Cole Hamels |
| 4 | RCL FG Caught Looking | Gold Dust Twins: J.D. Martinez | Operation Shutdown: Anthony Gose |
| 5 | Razzballz to the Wallz | New York Braves: Shelby Miller | Slytherin Salazars: Jacob deGrom |
| 6 | Cougs R Us | Krizlamic State: Yoenis Cespedes | The Knudsens: Devon Travis |
| 7 | ECFBL | Creative Chaos: Francisco Liriano | Throw The Heat Meat: Jay Bruce |
| 8 | Razzball DC | Eiffel Towering Blasts: Trevor Rosenthal | Tweaked Oblique: Chris Archer |
| 9 | RCL ‘Perts | Team Albright: Jeurys Familia | Razzball Sky: Chris Davis |
| 10 | FCL | Go FOH Ur Self: Jason Grilli | Los Pandas: Howie Kendrick |
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