If you’ve lived in an area with access to the major Turner Broadcasting networks at any point since 1997, you’re probably familiar with the popular holiday movie A Christmas Story. The plot of the film revolves around Ralphie’s desire to obtain a BB gun (or more specifically a Red Ryder Carbine Action 200-shot Range Model air rifle – but who can remember for sure) for Christmas that year. What nine-year-old boy wouldn’t want a BB gun? I know I would’ve loved one. All I usually got were a bunch of socks and sweaters and other boring stuff that I couldn’t care less about. What the hell, Mom?

But I digress. Just like Ralphie, we’ve all wanted that shiny, new BB gun at some point. Without those BBs, how would’ve young Ralphie fared against the likes of Black Bart and his crew? This fantasy season, we want those BBs instead of Aunt Clara’s homemade gift of choice. That brings us to this week’s exercise. Watch A Christmas Story tonight and then post your review in the comments. Wait, that’s not it, though feel free to discuss the movie if you’re so inclined.

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See all of today’s starting lineups

# MLB Starting Lineups For Sun 8/3
ARI | ATH | BAL | BOS | CHC | CHW | CLE | COL | DET | HOU | KC | LAA | LAD | MIA | MIL | MIN | NYM | NYY | PHI | PIT | SD | SEA | SF | STL | TB | TEX | TOR | WSH | ATL | CIN | OAK

Just like the title says, the table is set, the forks and spoons are in their right place, and hopefully there’s food ready to go. But in terms of the RCL universe (because I’m hungry and I might end up writing 700 words about food and then eating my monitor), the league has taken shape. And when I say league, I mean league, not leagues. Because ef pluralization…I mean, what has it ever done for me? Actually, it’s done a lot, but at this point, I have no idea what I’m talking about. But you have to remember, this is one complete universal league. The Milky Way of Fantasy Baseball if you will, including Mike Trout, Saturn, and of course, Uranus. Don’t roll your eyes, you knew it was coming. I only mention this (not Uranus) because as teams fall out of contention, owners begin to pay less and less attention to their roster, and soon, you’ll have a 12-team league that feels like a 3-team league. This is actually quite common in free-to-play leagues and perfectly normal, so don’t feel scorned. Those owners aren’t there to entertain you, only themselves. I mean, that’s why I write, it’s only to entertain myself. You guys are the crazy ones reading this. And of course, at the dawn of the season, everyone feels excited, bashful hope abound. Puppies and ice cream everywhere! But as the season moves past the All-Star break, you have to remember that you aren’t necessarily playing against your league. No, you are playing against 1,100+ teams in one league. For a hoodie (don’t wear it in Florida) and ultimate bragging rights. So don’t feel alone. Enjoy the journey. Participate as best you can. Be one with the fantasy baseballs (and Uranus). I guess that’s my last bit of advice as the RCL Updates will now be handled by J-FOH. He will be your in-season storyteller, and starting next week, he’ll begin to tell your story. The RCL story. And I can’t wait. (I’m talking about eating…)

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Frank Grimes of Sunnyvale, California! He was lucky number 401 of the 993 submissions in our Win a Free Awesome Dell XPS 13 Laptop Like the One I Use! contest. I am psyched that the randomizer function I ran picked a longtime reader/commenter (Frank’s been commenting on Razzball since 2013).

My condolences to the 992 of you who failed to win (none of you are losers in my book) and those of you who failed to enter the contest. If you are in the market for a laptop, though, I do give a Fred McGriffian endorsement to the Dell XPS 13 laptop. Below is my review of the laptop from the original post in case you missed or forgot it.

Thanks to Dell for providing the free laptops (I got one too). I look forward to seeing my avatar and endorsement stamped on Dell laptop boxes going forward!

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Anthony Rendon was cleared for baseball activities, which meant he was able to spit sunflower seeds and adjust his jockstrap with no pain. Then he reported discomfort when he bent his knee. Matt Williams, singing a’la Weird Al, said, “Rendon’s Opening Day is in jeopardy…Baby…Ooh…” Honestly, I feel like I’m in a pickle wrapped in a can’t-win-shituation surrounded by a chimichanga of head scratching with a Mexican saying, “No lo se,” and me saying, “No lose? More like no win, Jose!” We’re still two weeks away from Opening Day and Rendon could be fine by the end of the first week, which means he’ll miss maybe 25 ABs, which is nothing in the big picture. Dock him 3 runs, 2 RBIs and four hits and move on. This could actually be a buying opportunity in drafts if he falls too far. But if he’s downplaying his injury as every player who has been injured does, then he could struggle, hit the DL for a month or two and have a lost season. He never had blazing speed, so I worry that he might not steal with the knee injury or at least not as much in the early part of the year. Therefore, ergo, vis-a-vis I lowered him out of my top 10 and into my top 20 where I’d be more comfortable drafting him. Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for fantasy baseball:

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So yes, this is an overrated post but since I’m not Grey and Grey ain’t me, you don’t see the word ‘Schmohawk’ in the title. If I had, it would’ve been seen as a weak and watered down version of a Schmohawk piece. Mayhap you would’ve gone so far as to say it was a ‘Faux hawk’ which is really the worst thing ever. A faux hawk says to me you want to look like an edgy bad boy but you also listen to Nick Jonas which is just another way of saying ‘My parents are well off and I spend a lot of time at the mall complaining about them’. First off, not getting the car for the weekend because you got a ‘C’ in Math isn’t ‘abusive’ and secondly, that kid who dumped his orange julius on you after walking out of Hot Topic? Yeah, that would’ve been me from 20 years ago. Go full hawk or no hawk, you poser! But enough about my goth teen years, we’re here to talk about Doug Fister and so we shall. Let’s see what kind of players put up similar 2014 lines who are going cheaper than Doug for 2015 Fantasy Baseball Drafts…

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Value.  It’s the essence of fantasy baseball draft strategy.  Some players are draft day values, while others might not return value.  When you read an article and the writer speaks of “value”, the writer is trying to tell you he likes that player and thinks you should be targeting him in your drafts.  It is often his or her subjective view of a player’s value compared to the common perception of that player; a perception that may exist in the form of other rankings and engendered through ADP.  I believe very strongly in using perhaps the most objective means of player valuation available: Algorithm based player projections.  So when I say a player is a value based on his ADP it’s because the projections suggest it.  And that means I am presenting you this information without favoritism towards any particular player.  By their very nature the projections have no favoritism and a player’s ADP is simply a fact.

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So many guests, so little time!  We’ve got a busier-dan-all-hell Podcast with John Rotondo, the co-founder of RotoDerby.com, catching us up on their version of the fantasy game, playing a season-long HR derby format.  If only this was going in the mid-90s!  Gimme Bonds and Sosa!  Then our overlord Grey hops on and shakes his moneymaker, including at least 20 mentions of a baked good.  We chat up every position with a guy ending up on most of our teams and a player we’re avoiding.  Then I finally get to chat with Rudy as he runs through all of the baller improvements to the Razzball tools including the Streamonator, Hittertron, and DFSBot.  Our tools are slowly becoming smarter than us!  Who am I kidding, that happened like 3 years ago… Here’s the new edition of the Razzball Baseball Podcast:

Download from iTunes

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We are extremely grateful for all the kind words, inspirations, and contributions that Razzball Nation has given us over the years as we built up our fantasy baseball tools for both Roto (Streamonator, Hittertron, Weekly Hitter and Pitcher planners) and Daily Fantasy Sports (DFSBot) players.

After much deliberation, we decided to move all our daily tools (Streamonator, Hittertron, DFSBot) to a subscription model. Don’t worry – the rest of the site is staying free. This just allows us to make a little money on these tools (we’ve lost money to date if you take development costs into account) and continue to invest in enhancements. We are aiming to have most of the enhancements available on Opening Day and all by May 1st – see below for what we have on tap:

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Looking at the title of this post, I could of easily called it Catchers! What are they good for? In fantasy you wouldn’t be wrong, because they can cause more harm than good. Those average draining, games played depleting, good for nothing bums. Except for you Yan Gomes, I own you in a few places, as I got a thing for Brazilian booty. What’s wrong with that? Have you seen the pics of female Brazilian soccer fans? Don’t judge me monkey! Seriously my fetishes…I mean my preferences are not what I’m here to talk about, we can do that in the comments. Oh and I’m gonna talk about a few end-of-the-draft CI’s too.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Organizational Talent Rankings via Baseball America
2014 (4) | 2013 (12) | 2012 (14) | 2011 (16) | 2010 (14)

2014 Affiliate Records
MLB: [73-89] NL Central
AAA: [74-70] Pacific Coast League – Iowa
AA: [66-73] Southern League – Tennessee
A+: [67-69] Florida State League – Daytona (2015 Myrtle Beach)
A: [91-49] Midwest League – Kane County (2015 South Bend)
A(ss): [41-35] Northwest League – Boise (2015 Eugene)

Graduated Prospects
Javier Baez, 2B | Arismendy Alcantara, OF | Mike Olt, 3B

The Gist
This is about as stacked as a system can get. There’s upside all over the field including the graduated prospects listed above. Granted, they are still prospects and where everybody ends up playing is a good question. Heading into 2015 we’ll all wait for the arrival of Kris Bryant and later in the year we’ll be chomping at the bit for Addison Russell’s debut. Meanwhile, Javier Baez might be one of the most polarizing players on this team and there’s a chance he could start the year in the minors. But that would just give fellow sophomore Arismendy Alcantara some more time at the keystone and he’s no slouch either. Even the rotation looks good with Jon Lester and Jake Arrieta one-two. Can the bespectacled one take this team to the promised land? *grabs popcorn*

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I have to be honest it wasn’t love at first sight. Truthfully I wasn’t really impressed. I thought you were just another hot schmotato on a good tear. My friend took you home, I thought he was taking the grenade for the rest of us. We all scoffed at him behind his back, sometimes to his face when he would gush about you. None of us thought you were for real, maybe we were just all jaded. After all you were a middle infidel from Minnesota, I’d been down that road before. But something happened to me, to all of us really. We started to become jealous of what the two of you had. We all started to look at our shortstops and wonder why they couldn’t be more like you. You guys were so happy, he went from just an average guy, 6th maybe in the standings to ascending to the crown. September came and went and the rest of were looking up. I made a promise to myself that day, that I would never let you slip through the cracks again. Danny Sanny I love you.

Shameless Plug Alert!!!! When you’re done here, head on over to Razzball Soccer and catch all the goodies that Smokey and I are providing for Fantasy Premier League!! Do it!

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