Sawx Sack Sexy ‘Spects For Sale

December 7, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 209 Comments

Red Sox made a huge splash yesterday trading away Yoan Moncada, Luis Alexander Basabe, Victor Diaz and Michael Kopech for Chris Sale. Red Sox must be appealing to Bernie Sanders with their rotation: two lefties named Sale and Price. Dave Dombrowski sure does love to trade away his top prospects. Dombrowski buys 10 copies of Baseball Prospectus every year, crosses out the ‘u,’ and barters them for two cartridges of Nintendo Baseball Stars. Dombrowski used to have four young kids, until he traded them to a Mormon family for an honors student three months from graduating high school. Dombrowski dreams of finding the Fountain of Youth so he can trade it for a veteran fountain. I’m not going to compare Sale to Price even if the Jew in me wants to talk wholesale. Price had concerning stats going into last year and is older. Of course, some of Price’s concerning stats were a lower K-rate and a falling velocity on his fastball, which are two warning signs with Sale too. Okay, maybe I will compare the two. Sale’s fastball velocity went from 94.5 MPH to 92.8 MPH, while relying on it 7% more of the time. You’re a big-time Razzball noob — Razzboob? — if you think I’m going to suggest you draft an ace, and Sale is no different. I’m not about to say he’s going to fall off, but declining velocity, K-rate and rising xFIP is not an ace I’d be excited about. For 2017, I’ll give him the projections of 18-8/3.31/1.08/244 in 225 IP. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for 2017 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Giants Spread Some Dough For MarMel Aid

December 6, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 204 Comments

by: Grey

The Winter Meetings concluded day two yesterday at the Gaylord National Resort & Convention Center. Seen at the Gaylord so far was the best free agent starter (Rich Hill) signing, one of the best closers available (Mark Melancon) signing, and Curt Schilling protesting that the Gaylord Resort should not be allowed to marry. “Is it going to start calling a lobby ‘Bobby’ and adopt a baby too?” That’s Curt Schilling with his own special brand of crazy. With Giants’ signing of Mark Melancon, I’m saddened to remember all the good times I had over the past few years with the Giants’ bullpen. Here’s those times condensed into a single run-on sentence, “I can’t believe I drafted Santiago Casilla, ugh, maybe I’ll back him up with Sergio Romo, oh man, that hurts just as bad, fine, I will grab Hunter Strickland, and he’s killing me too.” Scene. Yeah, those times, in theory at least, are behind those owning the Giants’ new closer, Melancon. For 2017, I’ll give Melancon the projections of 4-1/2.26/0.97/58, 42 saves in 62 IP. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for 2017 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Max Kepler, 2017 Fantasy Sleeper

December 5, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 108 Comments

by: Grey

In an industry, ‘pert 12-team mock draft that I recently participated in, I grabbed Max Kepler with the 194th overall pick, and, quite honestly, I could’ve likely took him in the final round, or just grabbed him off waivers if there were waivers in a mock draft, which there’s not. No one cares about the Twins. I’d say Twins lives matter, but I’m not trying to incite riots. One quick point on that, when someone says “Save the whales” they’re not saying, “I hope a dolphin gets caught in a tuna net and is fed to a group of Japanese tourists as they watch The Cove.” It’s save the whales, not save the whales and eff all other fish. Here’s my 2017 mock draft team, if anyone’s interested. I’d put little to no weight on my draft. I had zero prep and was asked about an hour prior to participate. Last year in 113 games and 396 ABs, Kepler went 52/17/63/.235/6. Obviously, the average is puke-green trying to play itself as Fern Green, Army Green or Avocado. You’re puke-green, and you’re caught. The rest is not bad at all. Mr. Prorater, the assessor of missed time, would put his line at 67/21/79/.240/8. Though, we must remember, when one assesses, they make an ass out of esses, and that’ll get you killed in some hoods. So, what can we expect from Max Kepler for 2017 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2017 Minor League Preview: Detroit Tigers

December 4, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Prospects | 26 Comments

by: Geoff

It’s for system writeups such as these that I save the high end scotch and vials of liquid acid. It’s not only because the Tigers farm system is so barren, but because I can see my future as a Red Sox fan flash before my eyes. Here’s to hoping Mr. Dombrowski, not scorching the earth of the Sawx farm the way he did the Tigers. With Detroit in full sell-mode, this could be one of the more “updated” system previews of the offseason. As for the current state of the farm, it’s comprised of a handful of recently drafted talents, some overhyped depth players, and a whole lot of specs that don’t deserve my brilliant prose. Okay, okay so maybe I’m being a bit hyperbolic on a few fronts, but all in all it’s an awful system. One of the bottom five I’ll cover, and quite possibly the worst one yet. It’s not that I hate Detroit Tigers Prospects, as much as I have little use for many of them. With that said there are two blokes in particular that I hold in high esteem. Who are they? Read on! It’s the Top Detroit Tigers Prospects.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Prospect Podcast Episode 16: Colorado Rockies Prospects

December 3, 2016 | Prospect Podcast, Razzball Podcast | 18 Comments

by: Geoff

Some prospectors talk about the #Prospectlife and others live it. Michael Halpern and I live that prospect life all day errday. It’s why we’re bringing you our next installment of system previews with the well stocked Colorado Rockies. We talk about our love of Coors inflated bats, and our distaste for Rocks pitchers. Maybe you disagree, maybe you’re a non-conformist type that bucks the trend. That’s okay, we embrace all types here on the Prospect Podcast. While we’re at it join any and all of my leagues. We also discuss some hot stove, and how I was molested by a senior citizen at a family party. Yes this episode has it all! Colorado Rockies Prospects mostly though. Raise your pinkie rings to the air, it’s the latest edition of the Razzball Prospect Podcast.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Byron Buxton, 2017 Fantasy Sleeper

December 2, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 153 Comments

by: Grey

Just as I went around the league and highlighted 2017 fantasy baseball rookies, I will now do the same with 2017 fantasy baseball sleepers. These sleepers are gonna be so butter margarine gonna be like, “Yo, you got me, I’m not real.” These sleepers are gonna be so terrific they’re gonna call up the West Virginian woman, Terri Fic, and tell her to change her name. These sleepers are gonna be so illuminating they’re gonna explain WHAT THE HELL IS THE HARMON FAMILY HIDING?! Seriously: what is Pam Dawber, her husband Mark Harmon and their kids, Sean Harmon and Ty Harmon hiding with all of these blocked accounts? If they are living in a log cabin somewhere in the mountains, I say send in the U.S. Marshals! We want answers, Mark Harmon and Co.! Does NCIS stand for Notably Cloaked In Secrecy? I want to know! So, our first sleeper is Byron Buxton. Hayzeus Cristo! I just wrote Buxton’s name and ran into the bathroom while screaming, “Give me five minutes of peace and quiet I need to explore myself!” No, there is no particular order with these sleepers, but I am kinda goofy crazy for Buxton. Last year, he disappointed with 10 HRs, 10 SBs and a .225 average. Luckily, this isn’t last year, fantasy baseball fans and fans of Mark Harmon conspiracy theories who found us in Google. So, what can we expect from Byron Buxton for 2017 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Jose De Leon, 2017 Fantasy Outlook

December 1, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Rookies | 74 Comments

by: Grey

I think this is going to be my last rookie outlook post. If someone pops up sometime in the preseason, maybe I’ll return, but I need to move onto sleepers, and Winter Meetings updates. Here’s what I said when Jose De Leon first came up, “There’s gonna be a lot of haters out there about Jose De Leon. It’s the times we live in. His great-great-great-great grandfather was the original body-shamer. Ponce De Leon set out about five hundred and fifty years ago looking for the Fountain of Youth because, his words, “My old bitty needs to go bye-bye if she continues to sag in the FUPA area.” He was also the originator of the common 1500s phrase, “Ponce upon a time you looked good, girl.” A phrase that has rightfully disappeared from common speech before any more women were hurt by vernacular manslaughter, so to speak. As for Jose De Leon, he’s got the youth thing for days, but he’s not quite as young as Julio Urias, which I’m gonna say is a good thing in this case, because Urias is so raw he may as well be carrying botulism. De Leon, 23 years old, is destroying Triple-A on the current — 13.8 K/9, 3.06 ERA — which is more or less same-same what he’s been doing for the last two years. Even more importantly, the Dodgers have an immediate need with their rotation a M.A.S.H. unit, a Jamie-Farr-kin joke.” And that’s me quoting me! De Leon ended up with a 11.6 K/9 and a 2.61 in 86 1/3 IP in Triple-A. There’s nowhere else for De Leon to go but the majors in 2017, so let’s segue this sucka. Anyway, what can we expect from Jose De Leon for 2017 fantasy baseball?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2017 Minor League Preview: Colorado Rockies

November 30, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Prospects | 61 Comments

by: Geoff

Is there truly any system more worthy of your attention than Colorado’s? That’s not even a commentary on their high end talent or depth, as much as it is a commentary on Coors being awesome for boosting hitter’s value. The problem is due to this Ibiza for hitting reality, the Rockies have focused their efforts on acquiring top amateur pitching talent. So many of these top arms are sentenced to a fate worth than cleaning Billy Butler’s toilet after a Chili Cookoff. Pitching half of your games in the high altitude of Denver. Hey, at least they can smoke away the pain of bad home starts. Am I right? After graduating three strong talents into the majors last season in Jonathan Gray, David Dahl, and Trevor Story, the Rocks have another trio ready to contribute in the big leagues this season in Tom Murphy, Raimel Tapia, and Jeff Hoffman. As always any Rockies hitter has value, and any Rockies pitcher is worth treading lightly on. So read on, and learn who the Top Colorado Rockies Prospects are for 2017.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hunter Renfroe, 2017 Fantasy Outlook

November 29, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Rookies | 67 Comments

by: Grey

Hunter Renfroe, or as Scooby-Doo calls him ‘Hunter Renfroe,’ is gorge. I’m a smitten kitten hanging from a string on an inspirational poster that reads, “Hang in There.” Why so gorge? Or better still, why does he make me engorged? Actually, that’s not better, and I apologize profusely as Johnnie Cochran or Gorilla Monsoon would say. Why is it that Johnnie Cochran and Gorilla Monsoon are the only ones ever to use the word profusely? I’m gonna be the third person to use it, profusely. So why gorge? Have you seen Renfroe’s swing? Or as Scooby would say, “Have you seen Renfroe’s swing?” Here it is:

I wanna watch the first 5 seconds of that over and over again, but as Cougs will tell you, I’m good for at least 15 seconds. That home run was only measured at 413 feet. I’m guessing the guy that walks, heel to toe, out from home plate to where the ball lands, lost count. That’s an easy 470 foot homer if I’ve ever seen one. That’s right, I measure with my eyes! *cabinet behind me collapses* Oops, might’ve measured wrong. In 11 games last year with the Padres, Renfroe hit 4 homers and .371. Okay, he’s a Padre, I get it, but I’m profusely interested. Anyway, what can we expect from Hunter Renfroe for 2017 fantasy baseball?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Dylan Cozens, 2017 Fantasy Outlook

November 28, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Rookies | 50 Comments

by: Grey

In the minor leagues this year, Dylan Cozens had 40 HRs and 21 steals, winning the Top Offensive Player award. Ha. Dubya tee eff. His minor league numbers are so insane they call up Gary Busey and ask for his advice. His minor league numbers are so crazy they voted for Trump simply because Scott Baio endorsed him. His minor league stats are so bonkers that they want to marry Blac Chyna and try to make her a housewife. His minor leagues stats are so stupid they threw paint on a dog because it was wearing fur. I call this the Cozens. It’s similar to The Dozens, but with Cozens. Ask a Mormon wife whose hat that is and she says, “Husbands.” These rhymes I’m Putin out there are from Russland. All that hair is on your back land, not Bob. I’m eating pigeon but all fancy like squab. Got a buddy named Robert who has a green afro and I call him broccoli raab. Aw…yeah! It’s my rap alter ego, B-Fire! Get some crunk juice, snitches! Okay, not sure where that came from but sometimes shizz needs to be freestyled, or in this case, free-stDylan. Anyway, what can we expect from Dylan Cozens for 2017 fantasy baseball?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2017 Minor League Preview: Cleveland Indians

November 27, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Prospects | 9 Comments

by: Geoff

It’s been a big year for Cleveland sports, but that all takes a back seat to a big week for Cleveland here on Razzball. Earlier in the week Grey gave you his take on top prospect Bradley Zimmer, yesterday we gave you the latest edition of the prospect podcast where we went through the top prospects in the Indians system. Always one to beat a dead horse, today we go over Zimmer and the Indians system again. Will we discuss anything new? Maybe. Sort of depends, if you read Grey’s post and listened along to the podcast, I’d lean toward the negative. If not than everything is new. Dollars to doughnuts it’s not a bad system to get hung up on. They have solid talent at the upper levels of the system and solid talent at the lower levels as well. Players like Francisco Mejia, Triston McKenzie, and Greg Allen all enjoyed breakouts. While Chris Antonetti and Mike Chernoff took home another haul in this year’s draft. Needless to say it’s a fun system to dive into. So let’s dive into it, shall we?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Prospect Podcast Episode 15: Cleveland Indians and Detroit Tigers Prospects

November 26, 2016 | Prospect Podcast, Razzball Podcast | 5 Comments

by: Geoff

A very special Black Friday edition of the Prospect Podcast this week. Where we discuss two teams that are like stores with completely different inventory. One being the well stocked Cleveland Indians system with plenty of merchandise for prospect hounds. The other being the Detroit Tigers and their going out of business sale with only candle holders and shell shaped soap on the shelves. Yes Ohio vs Michigan and just in time for Ohio vs Michigan. Myself and Michael Halpern of ImaginaryBrickWall.com maintain order so no one can rush the doors and crush other shoppers. Wow I’m really lost in this analogy. Nevertheless it’s the latest edition of the Razzball Fantasy Prospect Podcast.

Please, blog, may I have some more?