I’m not a religious girl, but when I was sitting down to write my FanDuel post and saw the magic words “Stephen Strasburg versus the San Diego Padres” and also “@COL” (mmm, strudel), I threw up my hands and let out a “hallelujah.” Which caused some raised eyebrows in the coffee shop I was sitting in, let me tell you (ugh, whatEVer, Man Yelling Into Skype About His Deck Repairs).

So it’s fair to say I’m reasonably excited about Stephen’s match-up today. Even if he does cost me $11,100 (gulp). Collectively, the Padres are hitting .221 at time of writing; they’re the third-worst team in MLB (and I hate pointing all this stuff out — I do root for the Padres). I have some worries: so far this year, Strasburg’s K/9 is a little down (8.80) and his ERA at home is not ideal (4.00 at home versus 2.70 away), but I gotta have faith. I also want to stack some Rockies and Cardinals bats. Trying to squeeze all this into my FanDuel salary cap is gonna hurt like kneeling too long at church when you’re as old as I am, but I’ll make it work.

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Here’s the lineup I’m entering into FanDuel for Saturday, 27 May (GPP All-Day, 1:05):

P Stephen Strasburg, $11,100

C Mike Zunino, $2,100

1B Eric Hosmer, $2,900

2B Jed Lowrie, $2,300

3B Evan Longoria, $2,900

SS Aledmys Diaz, $3,800

OF Charlie Blackmon, $5,100

OF Matt Szczur, $2,200

OF  Bradley Zimmer, $2,300

Before we start, the oft-repeated warning to check that the players I’ve suggested below are actually playing. There are have been so many rain-related postponements and starter changes over the last couple of days, my head’s spinning.

Next, some alternative starter options: If you don’t want to cough up that much for Strasburg, I’d say you could definitely do worse than Gerrit Cole ($8,900 versus the Mets), Danny Salazar ($9,300 versus the Royals), Michael Fulmer (if he plays versus the White Sox; rainouts are playing havoc with the lineups as I’m writing this on Friday night), or Brandon McCarthy ($8,400 versus the Cubs). That’s Stream-o-Nator’s order of preference. I like the Salazar-Royals match-up a lot. A week ago, I’d have said play righty Yu Darvish ($10,400) against the Blue Jays, but the Jays are heating up verrrrry nicely lately (oh, is my glee showing? Sorry) so perhaps stay away from that?

Mike Zunino, C: $2,100 – To save as much money as I can for stacks, I’m going cheap on catcher today; let’s hear it for a warm body with strong knees in a good park! (Really, that phrase could apply to so many situations.) But if you want to be a little more serious about catcher, you could look to Yadier Molina ($3,900) in Colorado, or Evan Gattis ($3,200) in Houston.

Miguel Cabrera, 1B: $4,200 – Miggy is Hittertron’s go-to 1B today — yes, it even ranks him higher than Mark Reynolds ($4,000) at Coors (over Reynolds, Hittertron also prefers Ryan Zimmerman [$3,400] and Paul Goldschmidt [$4,800]). It could have a little somethin’ to do with Miggy’s 4-for-10 history, with 2 home runs, against Derek Holland, and his .375-BA week. Just don’t eat too many damn chocolates before Saturday, Migs, thanks — need that oblique streamlined.

Eric Hosmer, 1B: $2,900 – Here’s another BVP match-up, versus Danny Salazar in Cleveland: Hosmer (that’s “Prostitutes’ Sea” in French. The more you know!) is 12 for 20 lifetime versus Salazar. Admittedly, he has gone 0-fer in his last couple of games, but is also quietly sitting on a .295 average and .359 OBP. Sooooo…. maybe? <Makes seesaw hands>

Adrian Gonzalez, 1B: $2,800 – Here’s a boring-but-super-cheap 1B option, whom I’m trotting out for his 7 for 23 lifetime versus John Lackey; Lackey’s been smacked around and his K rate is down over his last couple of games. Gonzalez also prefers lefties over righties. So if you need to save some cash, this match-up could work.

Jose Altuve, 2B: 3,800 – He’s been a little quieter in recent days, which I assume is what’s pushing his price down, but Altuve has a nice 12 for 20 history against Baltimore’s Wade Miley, and a three-year average of .364 against lefties generally. I’m not going to short those odds.

Jason Kipnis, 2B: $3,400 – In their past Jason-on-Jason showdowns, Kipnis has done lines in Vargas to the tune of 9 for 26 with a home run. Their latest meetup takes place in hitter-friendly Cleveland, and Kipnis is also hitting .296 over the last week.

Jed Lowrie, 2B: $2,300 – CC Sabathia has been a pleasant surprise over his last few games, but so has Lowrie. I’ve been running him out in every one of my roto leagues, and I love the cut of his 7-for-21 jib today against Sabathia. I shall speak of him Highrie for this match-up, especially at this price.

Anthony Rendon, 3B: 3,700 – Every time I bench Rendon, he earns himself 5 RBIs or so. So for your sakes, poppets, I won’t play him today, but you should consider it. Hittertron’s pretty sure he’s going to do a ton of hitting against San Diego’s Clayton Richard.

Evan Longoria, 3B: 2,900 – Of course we all want to play with Nolan Arenado ($4,800), but we can’t have everything we want in this life. Sometimes a little Evan can go a Longoria way, too. This is a Hittertron call versus Adalberto Mejia, who has a fat, juicy ERA of 4.96 and is pitching in Minnesota’s appropriately named Target Field today.

Aledmys Diaz, SS: $3,800 – I wouldn’t normally cough up this much for shortstop but, you know, Coors, and he’s doing something every day; I think the investment is worth it. Trevor Story costs the same, but Hittertron has Diaz at $51 and Story at $25.9 and I’m buying what Hittertron is selling. But another nice, cheaper bet could be…

Jonathan Villar, SS: $2,800 – OK, lemme throw the negatives at you before you throw them at me. Yes, he’s facing Zack Greinke, with his 2.82 ERA and 78 Ks in 67 innings. Sure, Villar’s not hitting overly much just at the moment. But this match-up is in sweet Milwaukee (which is why I’m leery of starting Greinke at all) and he prefers righties like Greinke, and when he does get on base, the threat to steal is real, my friends.

Charlie Blackmon, OF: $5,100 – I cringed, typing that 5 and that 1 and those 2 zeroes (in that order. If I’d typed 0.015, totally different story). But I’m going to pay up because he’s in Coors, of coors, and this is also a particularly nice match-up against Adam Wainwright. 12 at-bats isn’t a huge sample size, I know, but I still think you have to pay attention to the fact that Charlie has 7 hits in those 12. But if that’s too rich for your blood, Stephen Piscotty at $4,000 could make for a cheaper Coors option. I, however, need to go reaaaallly cheap at this point (gulp), so I’m trying…

Bradley Zimmer, OF: $2,300 – Highly-touted-prospect-going-cheap alert! Not only has he been doing a little something every day, but I actually like this left-lefty match-up versus Jason Vargas in hitter-friendly Progressive Park (a.k.a. KAN-CLE: the fat-ankle series).

Matt Szczur, OF: $2,200 – Oh, I already know this is going to go horribly; Szcur Salad (of letters) is facing Strasburg, after all. But he’s quite likely to start, with Manuel Margot currently sporting a walking boot. And he’s $2,200. What was I saying earlier about how sometimes you just need a warm body…?

I’m Only Happy When It Rains

Stupid East. It’s been rainy all week here and that may continue today, with a chance of rain in Philadelphia, chance of a thunderstorm in Washington (is this God’s way of punishing me for my schadenfreude over the Padres? Maybe I ought to go to church), and possibility of a rainout in Colorado. So as usual, watch your lineups for last-minute postponements and delays.

Doing Lines In Vegas

Vegas is so uneven in its odds favoring the Nats over the Padres (-270) that it’s practically falling over. Cleveland is also projected to beat the Royals fairly soundly (-176), so if you want to fade on other match-ups (like Rockies-Cardinals), perhaps stack yourself some Cleveland bats. I’m not entirely sure Justin Nicolino is going to make life as easy for the Marlins as Vegas thinks he will: the Marlins are projected to beat the Angels -120, but I’m watching the Angels.