Please see our player page for Bradley Zimmer to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

*digs nose into an open field of grass, lifts head, eyes filled with tears* This smells of my youth!

Passerby, “My dog just peed there, so probably because you used to wet yourself.”

Baseball is back.

“Hello, Genie, I have three wishes for this baseball season. My first wish: No one I roster get hurt. My 2nd wish: Everyone I roster do well. I drafted Bobby Witt Jr., Julio Rodriguez, and Seiya Suzuki, so, really, I’m doing much of the heavy lifting for this wish. My 3rd and final wish: All 3rd base coaches send runners home by doing the Moonwalk. Thanking you in advance, Genie. Wait a second, you’re not a genie, you’re Bartolo Colon in Blue Man Group paint. Damn you!”

Glad I didn’t waste a wish on losing a closer during some janky Chris Paddack trade, because that didn’t need a wish. Chris Paddack and Emilio Pagan were moved to the Twins for Taylor Rogers, Brent Rooker and cash. This trade was done as it snowed all across the baseball community. *intern whispers in ear* It wasn’t snow? It was dandruff from all the head scratching? Oh, I see. This feels like a deal we hear about in five years when the authorities figure out the Twins were secretly working with the Padres. Incredibly, the Padres tried to give Paddack away to everyone, then the Twins paid full price. Like, what even? For a month, every team was supposedly trying to acquire Paddack, when, in reality, it was just the Padres trying to give Paddack away for anything. Chris Paddack was so highly sought after that the Padres pretended to trade him to every team. Statcast sliders aren’t good and neither is Chris Paddack. I suppose if he can fix his fastball, but, allow this small cackle of truth, why didn’t he fix his fastball while in San Diego? Didn’t feel like it? Um, okay. So, I wouldn’t suddenly be interested in Paddack, outside of AL-Only leagues. I’ll go over the Padres and Twins’ pens on the other side of the anyway. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We’ve done it! We’ve reached the end of the fantasy baseball hitter rankings for 2022 fantasy baseball rankings. Give yourself a big round of applause. I’d clap for you, but I have carpal tunnel from actually ranking all the hitters and writing all their blurbs and calculating all of their projections and– What exactly did you do? Oh, yeah, you read them. No wonder why your hands can still clap. Here’s Steamer’s 2022 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Hitters and 2022 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Pitchers. Subscriptions are up and running, and you can already get Rudy’s Draft War Room. Anyway, here’s the top 100 outfielders for 2022 fantasy baseball:

NOTE: All 2022 fantasy baseball projections are based on a 162-game season, and will be until we hear definitively there will be less games, due to the CBA. Also, I’m going on the assumption the NL is getting the DH.

NOTE II: All my rankings are currently available on Patreon for the price of a Starbucks coffee, if you get one of those extra grande frappuccino jobbers. Don’t wait for the rankings to come out over the next month, and get them all now.

NOTE III: Free agents are listed as just that and not yet projected. Once a guy signs, I will write out their blurb and add in projections, or remove them, if they sign in an unfavorable place. They are ranked currently where I think they might be if they sign on for a full-time job.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

You know the Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye song? Nananana Hey hey hey goodbye! You know it, right? Well, I sing the Na Na Hey Hey part in Indian restaurants when ordering naan. Am the only one? Really? Wow, that’s weird, because they love when I do it. You should too. But you do sing the Hey Hey goodbye part when on the toilet, right? Still only me? Hmm. Surprised to hear it. Or rather, surprised to not hear it. Not saying at home when no one can hear, I mean when in public restrooms. Only me? Wow, you guys are missing out. Yesterday, Jonathan India had the runs like a garlic naan and sent one na na hey hey goodbye. With his first career four-hit game, Jonathan India went 4-for-5, 4 runs, 2 RBIs and a slam (21) and legs (12). For 2022, India’s Sweets and Spices is on my short list of guys who I want to draft in all leagues. He has literally everything: power, great park, speed, low strikeouts, great walks and a lock on playing time. When I see him in 2022 fantasy baseball drafts, you can kiss him Mumbai! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Instead of inserting a witty lede to kick of this week’s prospect post, I decided I would share three major breakthroughs I’ve made in life over the past 24 hours. Some may be more relevant to you than others, but the first is the most essential — and also the most blatantly obvious. One: if you’re building your dynasty league strategy based on MLB Pipeline’s top-100 prospect rankings and not The Itch’s, you’re putting yourself at an incredible disadvantage. If you’re reading this, then you’ve navigated to Razzball for a reason — so utilize the resources we have for you. Without a doubt, The Itch’s prospect rankings are the best out there for fantasy purposes and I base my personal strategy off of them while incorporating my own evaluations. Two: moving forward, I will be alternating between a Prospect Watch piece (this week) and unveiling five new college prospects in my Way-Too-Early Top 25 for the 2022 MLB Draft. That makes one of each per month as every post will arrive on Tuesdays on a bi-weekly basis. Three: Colton Cowser is a somewhat-cool name aided by alliteration, but it’s even better and far-more fierce when you flip it backwards: Reswoc Notloc. How awesome? It honestly sounds like something out of a Lord of the Rings novel: Reswoc the Warlock. Anyway, Reswoc is the focus of this week’s Prospect Watch piece. If you’ve been following my collegiate prospect coverage the past two years, then you’re already somewhat familiar with him. Today, I’ll provide an update and let you know how you should be evaluating Mr. Notloc in your dynasty league moving forward.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)

This is The Save Vulture Dance. Sing it like it’s The Electric Slide.

[spoken word intro]
The save vulture is a scavenger bird. They see weakness in others’ misfortune. A closer goes down or struggles or gets traded and the save vulture swoops in and gnaws on the closer’s handcuff. And if you don’t give up, or give in, you may just be okay…OKAY!

[lyrics]
Snap, snap, Giovanny Gallegos, Genesis Cabrera, Alex Reyes, claw, claw, save.
Save vultures aren’t reproducin’ cuz they’re uze overweight guys,
Preferin’ to watch sports highlights than listen to the girl they’re datin’. Sighs.
Snap, snap, Joe Barlow, Spencer Patton, claw, claw, save.
The save vulture’s claws are orange from Cheetos dust,
The orange reminds them of all that Orioles’ fuss.
Snap, snap, Cole Sulser, Tyler Wells, No One Because The O’s Won’t Win, claw, claw, save.
Teams that flipped their closers for prospects at the trading deadline and are now losin’,
They still haven’t figured out who’s closin’.
Snap, snap, Paul Sewald, Drew Steckenrider, Kyle Finnegan, Dylan Floro…*huff, huff, out of breath* …keep on going!…Anthony Bender, David Bednar, Carlos Estevez, Chris Stratton, Codi Heuer, Rowan Wick, claw, claw, save.
Guys who have just sucked and teams needed to look elsewhere,
Desperate, you look like Walter White in his underwear,
Snap, snap, Emmanuel Clase, Adam Ottavino, Johnny Lasagna, Andrew Chafin, Sergio Romo, claw, claw, save.

[spoken word outro]
Now ya know, if you need saves in the final month. [sax plays us out] Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaves. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Playoffs have arrived, and if you are like me, the anxiety of making the wrong move is paralytic.  With that knowledge, trust in the fact that I have only steered you wrong on occasion.  Taking that a step further, at least I took us in a different direction that led to a fun destination.  This destination is the land of; Drop your bums and take advantage of the matchups. 

Yes, the idea of playing matchups has been my season-long approach, but it has even more impact during these do-or-die scenarios.  When it comes to Week 1 of the playoffs, there are a couple of interesting scenarios to focus on.

8-Game Schedule: Baltimore & Toronto play a doubleheader on Saturday.
5-Game Schedule: Arizona & San Diego-Fringe players can be eliminated from these two team
Interleague DH gains-Milwaukee & Arizona
Interleague DH losers-New York Yankees, Texas, Detroit, and Los Angeles Angels

So who are we adding for Week 1 of the Playoffs?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)

“Your mascara isn’t as thick as I’d expect from someone named Billie Eyelash.” At a podium, Billie Eilish laughs at Billy Crystal, and the banter fades away as they get serious to announce Best New Artist. Hoping to join previous winners like Evanescence, Bruce Hornsby and the Range and Paula Cole, Nicky Lopez sits in the audience with his fingers crossed. His head bowed in pray. This is his first day off in weeks from the basepaths, where he’s put out such hits as:  “A 2-for-4 with three steals,” the top 40 hit “1-for-4 with two steals,” and “Can’t Keep My SAGNOF To Myself,” the Grammy nominated song in another category. A song Nicky co-wrote with the 71-year-old George Thorogood. Nicky Lopez is also the Least Likely Player To Get A Buy Lede. He’s got less power than Nick Madrigal, who has the power of a June bug in July when it’s just exhausted. By the by, they should have a Home Run Derby of guys like Lopez and Madrigal. Alonso can hit 30 homers in four minutes, whoop-dee-doo. Let’s see someone who can’t hit it out of the infield try to hit two homers in four minutes! Any hoo! Lopez might have no power like Madrigal, but he’s hitting like Nick Madrigal in every other way too. His contact rates are amongst the most improved, and he should hit ~.280. The real clincher here is obviously how he’s stealing multiple bags per game, and the Royals have no reason to stop him. I know in most of my leagues that ten random steals in September might be the difference in multiple standings points. Okay, back to the show…The envelope is ripped, as Billie and Billy lean in to announce together, “Best New Artist is…Nicky Lopez!” As Lopez heads up to the stage, past winners Hootie and the Blowfish cheer him on, and George Thorogood doffs his cowboy hat. In the audience, Lorde mutters, “Freakin’ Royals.” Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hello, welcome to my Red Sox blog. We are the Nephews of Sam Horn. His “Sons” were taken by less bandwagony Red Sox fans that were cheering for them for a long time. I started this week, when I wrote a whole thing about Hunter Renfroe. Now ermahgerd it’s Bobby Dalbec‘s time in the spotlight. If you spell it Dlabec, it sounds like an Eastern European dictator with the same level of power. If I could do one of those C’s where there’s a hook on it, I so would. I have a soupçon of an idea what that C’s called. Wait a seçond! Autoçorrect did it–Hold on, now it’s too muçh. Okay, çut it out! So, yesterday, Bobby Dalbec (3-for-4, 3 runs, 7 RBIs) hit his 15th and 16th homers, and, boy, the ball is flying out in Boston recently. This is Dalbec’s 2nd two-homer game of August, and, well, not much else. Dalbec won’t be in this afternoon’s Buy column, but if he’s available and you need power, I could see it. This guy gets it done; I’m gonna call him, Bobby Do’er. Hey, that’s not confusing with any Red Sox greats, right? Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

My brain whenever I see Brandon Lowe: “It’s Low, right? No, you idiot, it’s like Lau! LAU! LAU! Say LAU! Which is pronounced like Low, right? NO! It rhymes with chow! It’s Lau!” Then, I compose myself and pronounce it as “Low.” Literally, without fail. I hope you do this too, so I’m not alone. It would make me feel better. Thank you. Yesterday, Lowe–Lau! But spelled Lowe!–went double ding dong, as he led-off (3-for-4, 3 RBIs) with his 27th and 28th homer. Also, in the Hooters-adjacent Tampa Bay-adjacent St. Pete’s Basilica, Kevin Kiermaier (1-for-4) hit his 4th homer; Brett Phillips (2-for-4) boogied his way to his 10th homer and Mike Brosseau (1-for-4) hit his 5th homer. Now I see why Brosseau, “Whoa.” Lowe, though (doesn’t rhyme), is repeating his HR/FB% from last year’s breakout, along with FB%, and HardHit%, but not really his strikeouts. He’s way more aggressive at the plate (O-Swing% and Swing% up), and unfortunately for him, he’s making more contact on junk pitches. Wish the average was higher for Lowe (that’s not a pun, it’s Lau not Low), but he’s established himself as a 32-homer guy with upside for 2022. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Roughly three months ago, we were talking about the grave, man. Not Kendall, but the one where Luis Robert (2-for-5, 1 RBI) was placed with care next to Eloy Jimenez (2-for-4, 5 RBIs and his 4th and 5th homer). Where Yermin Mercedes later joined him, then Yasmani Grandal, then Billy Hamilton, then Adam Eaton, but who cares about him. Really, the only ones not missing time for the White Sox has been the pitching staff. I just jinxed them, didn’t I? No, I haven’t because to offset my jinx, I took a cat-o-nine-tails and whipped my back 27 times, Lucas Giolito’s uniform number. Do I have to whip myself 33 times for Lance Lynn too? I’m not asking you, I’m asking the voodoo high priestess I am Zoom’ing with! The brutal truth is I didn’t have room for Luis Robert to sit on my IL for the last three months, and I dropped him. Well, that’s not the brutal part. The 88 lashes I’m being told to administer to myself for Robert’s uniform number is the brutal part. SOMEONE SAVE ME is what I scream into a Pringles can for later. You never scream an SOS into a can, then cap it in case you can’t scream later? Hmm, weird, must be me–Any hoo! I see Luis Robert as a top 30 bat again. Unlike, say, Chris Sale, hitters don’t need as much time to get up to speed, and if Robert’s healthy, I’m all-in. As for Eloy, well, he’s a top 20 bat. He homered twice on Sunday, followed that with a different song, same verse on Monday and, if he homers twice a game from now until October, I’ll prolly just mutter about how awful Cody Bellinger is and about how I dropped Eloy when he was supposedly out all year. Absolutely owning the day and the night, Grey Albright! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

On the day the Phils retired Roy Halladay’s uniform number, Zack Wheeler was the first Phillies pitcher to retire 22 consecutive batters in a start since May 29, 2010 — Roy Halladay’s perfect game. How does baseball baseball so entirely? Of course, Roy Halladay Day was going to feature a complete game shutout vs. the Mets. It’s baseball baseballing. Anything else would’ve been shocking. Can you just bet the Mets will suffer? Does Vegas take that sorta bet? Awkward segue alert! The Patreon podcast is booked to do a live show in Vegas with me, Donkey and Billy. Details are on the podcast. So, how do you bet the Mets will suffer? Do you bet something like, “I want…The Mets to suffer plus ‘will be swept,’ plus ‘while being shutout,’ plus ‘while going against the ex-Mets pitcher, Zack Wheeler (9 IP, 0 ER, 2 hits, 1 walk, 11 Ks, ERA at 2.42),’ plus ‘while losing 1st place.'” That’s like a Quinella combined with a Pick 6. Wheeler has the 2nd best xFIP of qualified starters; 2nd best FIP if you prefer that; 3rd best xERA if you want that; 10.4 K/9, 2 BB/9, his best velocity of his career (!) and best SwStr%. It’s hard to imagine Zack Wheeler being ranked any lower than the top five starters for 2022 fantasy baseball. Since he’s an ex-Met, that might be the bonus number on the Pick 6. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?