Okay, hooligans and hooligals! I did my best to ward off Rudy from recommending the title, “I’m Keano For Severino.” Or his 2nd recommended title, “Poop Breath < Severino.” I think Rudy’s been drinking. So, as they say when they remove tassels from cow udders in Tennessee, “Playtime’s over, let’s get down to business!” Yesterday, Luis Severino threw 7 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 11 Ks to lower his ERA to 4.50. Maybe not so much better than poop breath? I keed! Much better. Between the lines, where the game is played as I sound vaguely like George Will, Severino looks dominant. Fastball: 97 MPH, ground balls around 45%, xFIP at 1.95. Okay, I just put tassels on my udders, because those numbers are gorgeous. There’s not much fun to be had in his division and park, but his stuff should play anywhere. I’d absolutely look to add him in all leagues; he’s dramatically better than poop breath! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
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Minor League Update: Honeywell’s Bells
April 13, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Prospects | 50 Commentsby: Geoff
Coming off a start in which he whiffed a career high 12 batters, Brent Honeywell continued his scorching hot start last night. The righty went 7 innings, allowing 1 run, 1 hit, and striking out 8 in the process. Now at AA Montgomery, Honeywell looks to ride his varied arsenal, including his infamous screwball, to the show by the end of the year. The only real question with Honeywell at the moment is, just how aggressive the Rays get moving him along? His control has always been elite, leading to walk rates in the 4-6% range. And while the ability to generate swings and misses has always been there, it’s noticeably ticked up this season. The time to buy Honeywell might be now as he continues his assault on the AA Southern League. I’m never one to invest much in a pitching prospect, particularly one in the AL East, but Honeywell is the rare exception.
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As my first job out of college, I worked at a call center with a guy named Phil Sousa. Customers would regularly ask him if he was related to John Phillip Sousa, the famous composer nicknamed The March King. My co-worker would laugh at the absurdity of the question, but would play it off smooth with the customer, saying something like, “No, it’s just a coincidence.” Very Office Space. I’ve got to think that today’s lead man Steven Souza Jr. has gotten that thrown his way once or twice. I bet he gets more Sousaphone jokes than John Phillip, but that is almost too obvious. This is a roundabout way of me referring to Souza as The Marsh King (Florida being a swamp, get it?). Anyhow, in today’s post, I’m going to look at a selection of outfielders that have caught my attention, including my thoughts on their impact in OBP leagues.
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2017 REL Dynasty League Update: Week 2
April 13, 2017 | Razzball Elite League | 83 Commentsby: JB Gilpin
A full week plus is in the books! It’s still happy-fun-small-sample-time, but in the REL, rebuilding and tanking teams are already feeling the strain, while the big boys up top are taking their seats on the throne. No, that wasn’t toilet humor! Although it really wouldn’t be on you – dear reader – to think it was, knowing us clowns here at Razzball!
The illustrious 2016 Champion Nationals have already taken over the top spot as they aim to repeat with the NL pennant, but a nice start from the surprising Cincinnati Reds is a nice story line to open the year. While in the AL, the Tigers have started off strong to try and represent the AL in the 2017 World Series, thanks to some great starting pitching in the Tigers rotation, plus a strong start for Chris Devenski. Good luck to everyone in the REL over the next week!
Here’s how week 2 went down in the 2017 REL League:
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: Regerts, I’ve had a few.
Me: Here Frank, have a Snickers. Better?
: Yah. Why?
Me: You’re not yourself when you’re hungry.
My wife and I went to see a Frank Sinatra impersonator the other day. He did Frank. He did Sammy. He did Dean. Shoot, I think he did my wife. What he didn’t do is regret stacking Tigers against James Shields last week. Because he didn’t. Stack, that is. He sang pretty well though. Shields was not a great stack. You know who has a great stack? Never mind, I won’t regert, er, regret answering that one. I did win both my bets though. The Pale Hose allowed me to cover the over against the Tigers and the Nats won. Ha!
Enough looking back. Let’s look at our Thursday choices for FanDuel. We’ll have it…..My Way! Ha!
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Please, blog, may I have some more?Halleberryloujah! *does sign of the Marlins, kneels* Blessed be thy lord of a Technicolor unicorn statue who graced his tight baseball pants around Giancarlo’s lower half. I won’t take too much of your time, I know you are prolly busy. Should I say probably when I’m addressing you? You know, I’m gonna move on rather than wait for an answer. I want to thank you for bringing Giancarlo Stanton into the 2017 season. I saw him in a game last week back off a changeup like he was still scared after taking the beanball off the melon. Was he scared? If he was, I wouldn’t have blamed him. I get scared too. Like when my wife says, “Hey, Grey I made plans for us to go out with my friend and her husband.” That scares me too. But now that he hit two homers, going 2-for-3 with 4 RBIs, I’m relieved. It was early, he was just getting into the swing things. Pun! What? You don’t like puns? Again, I’m fine not waiting for an answer. Okay, now I’m going to cut this short because a sprinkler is going off into my face and I’m kneeling on my neighbor’s lawn. Thank you. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
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Disgraces and Delights: When It Thames, It Pours
April 12, 2017 | 2023 Fantasy Baseball | 41 Commentsby: LT Murray IV
Greetings! Not only did opening week provide screen addicts everywhere an opportunity to put down the joystick for a few hours in order to put more focus into fantasy baseball, obsessing over each pitch like a scorned lover, pretending like any of this REALLY matters as we block out a myriad of life problems, but it provided me with an excuse to write a column, which is a big time win in my book. Heck yea! Super Cool! Sweetness!
Kudos to you if you’ve just recently discovered Razzball, for you are in store for the kind of magical journey you’ve only watched on film. Think ‘Hook’, ‘The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe’, the ‘Harry Potter’ flicks, ‘The Lord of the Rings’ Trilogy and ‘Basic Instinct’ all in one. Read further if you’d like to see me spread my legs for you, a la Sharon Stone… metaphorically of course.
I am Tehol Beddict and this is Disgrace/Delight. Take heed!
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Ambulance Chasers, Week 2: Bird Flu In Bean Town
April 12, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Injury Report | 8 Commentsby: Kerry Klug
I feel like I could list every Boston Red Sox player in my post this week. A bunch of their players came down with the flu, even the untouchable Andrew Benintendi, who apparently threw-up in the dugout during a game this week. He might’ve ralphed due to hearing about his .174 AVG so far though. Relax everyone, he’s 14-years-old and we’re only in Week 2. Don’t overreact! However, if you happen to visit Fenway this week for their games — make sure to wash your hands well, seal up your plastic bubble boy suit and keep away from patient zero (probably Dustin Pedroia — he seems like the superstitious type to not wash during the season for luck).
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Points Leagues: Sun of Jharel
April 12, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Points Leagues | 28 Commentsby: malamoney
For those expecting a post riddled with Man of Steel references, you have come to the wrong place. I think. I’ve got a few, but I’m not much of a Superman expert. As a child, Christopher Reeves was my Superman. Tragic ending for the man I grew up believing was invincible. The dude possessed the powers of flight, superhuman strength, x-ray vision, heat vision, cold breath, super-speed, enhanced hearing, and nigh-invulnerability, but he couldn’t ride a freaking horse? You never saw Invisible Man riding a horse, did you? Think about that question for a second. And how is it possible that no one had a clue that Clark Kent was Superman. He puts on a pair of nerdy glasses and everyone is fooled. The next time you go to work, throw on a pair of glasses and see if anyone recognizes you. Try to the opposite if you already wear them…
HELLO, and welcome to another beautiful Wednesday slate on FanDuel. Last week didn’t go so well but here’s hoping this Wednesday will be a very profitable one! I know last week I said I’d try my best to steer you guys clear of high ownership guys… Well this slate is a perfect example of why I used the word “try”. It’s a tough slate with a couple solid pitchers and a bunch of garbage. Marcus Stroman $8,600 is far and away the best pitcher on the slate with a good matchup. Lets dive into the numbers a bit more: Stroman gets left handed batters and right handed batters out equally. Right handed batters actually hit him a little better over his career (.262) then lefties (.247) but he’s been able to neutralize the power numbers for both right handed batters (1 homerun every 54 abs) and lefties (1 homerun every 47 abs). Combine that with the early -195 money line and he’s a good bet for a quality game and the win. Stroman had a very good start to open his 2017 season going 6 1/3 innings with 5 strike outs and only 1 run given up. Milwaukee still has Braun and Villar but I still think Stroman is an easy play today.
Now on to the picks…
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Yoenis Trespedes & Lucas Deuxda
April 12, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 565 Commentsby: Grey
The City of Brotherly Love opened up its sweaty arms, where the hair is growing weirdly on the backside of the biceps, and said, “Come here, and get some of these meatballs that Clay Buchholz is throwing.” Yoenis Cespedes hit his 2nd, 3rd and 4th homers (4-for-6, 3 runs, 5 RBIs). In Philly, they say he hit three wiz wits and a Tastykake; Neil Walker (2-for-5, 1 run) had a Tastykake and a dollop of light cream cheese; Asdrubal Cabrera (4-for-6, 3 runs, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer) had a wiz wit, a Tastykake and three dollops of light cream cheese; Lucas Duda (4-for-6 and his 2nd and 3rd homers) had two wiz wits, a Tastykake and a dollop of the good stuff that is like curdled mother’s milk. Yoenis started off slow, which is a ludicrous thing to say, he has four homers in eight games. He’s on pace for 80 homers. I mean, you really need to take a lesson from Uncle LL, and chillllllllll. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
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RCL Update: The Week That Was, Week 1
April 11, 2017 | Our Leagues, Razzball Commenters League | 34 Commentsby: MattTruss
Maybe it’s Byron Buxton’s incredible slump, maybe it’s the lack of HRs from Giancarlo Stanton, maybe it’s because I own(ed) Luke Gregerson on way too many team but opening week isn’t going as well as I’d hoped. Don’t get me wrong, I’m giddy to have baseball back and be back on the RCL grind. I’d be lying though if I said getting off to a slow start doesn’t matter week 1. Everyone wants to start the first week leading their league. I always dream of going wire to wire. It’s not happening for me in any RCLs this year, but it’s a long season, plenty of time to win these things. Are you slugging your way to the top of your league via George Springer? Maybe you’ve Kendall Graveman’d yourself to the front of the pack instead. Either way, I hope your roto point floweth over. Trea Turner owners, (I have 1 share) I send my condolences. No one likes a hammy injury for their young speedster. Anthony Rizzo and Miguel Cabrera owners, the support group meeting is tonight at 7 in the basement of the town library. I’ll bring the Cracker Jack, you bring the Big League Chew and we’ll have a prayer octagon.
Already the RCL battle has been waged on the waiver wire as the race to grab that sweet SAGNOF started early. Roberto Osuna made a surprise DL appearance and Jason Grilli was the first add of the year for those seeking cheap saves. Jeanmar Gomez became the first victim of the closerpocolypse this year and to everyone’s surprise it was not Hector Neris, but 39 year old Joaquin Benoit, who got the keys to the 9th from Pete Mackrackhead. I can’t wait to see how long that lasts. Let’s take a look now at which RCL teams are getting an early jump on their league standings:
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