True Story Alert! Justin Bieber used to live about two blocks away from Cougs and I. Honestly, he might still live there, but I doubt it because I no longer go to the supermarket (block between us) and hear this, “BIEBER, I LOVE YOU. HERE IS MY VIRGINITY. LITERALLY TAKE IT FROM ME. PLEASE!!!” Also, I no longer have to jostle between TMZ cameramen for my kombucha. Here’s a story about how he wanted to put a skatepark into his condo. Dude, LA’s special. Any hoo! Yesterday, I was screaming like a 15-year-old girl for Shane Bieber to remove my sexual flower for the first few innings, then he ran into some trouble in the 5th, when it became apparent major league hitters (even the bottom of the Twins’ order; Ryan LaMarre, really?) are not quite who he was blowing away in the minors this year (1.05 ERA, 8.1 K/9, 0.5 BB/9). He worked consistently down in the strike zone with a 93 MPH fastball, and broke off, uh, breaking stuff off down and outside. There wasn’t a ton of hard contact until the 6th inning, which was a quick turnaround on a 5th inning, which saw him clearly winded — final line, 5 2/3 IP, 4 ER, 9 baserunners (1 BB), 6 Ks. I’m interested in him in deeper mixed leagues, but he looks like he will have the usual rookie pitcher lumps. For what it’s Werth, he’s the 9th best starter on the Prospect-o-Nator, which lists all rookie pitcher projections. Plus, no reports of this Bieber wanting a skatepark. That’s good. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?Learn more about our 2025 Fantasy Baseball Subscriptions!
The best daily/weekly player rankings/projections (hitters, starters, and relievers) for each of the next 7-10 days + next calendar week starting Friday. Kick-ass DFS lineup optimizer and projections for DraftKings, FanDuel, and Yahoo!.
I don’t have enough spam, give me the Razzball email newsletter!
Weekly Razzball news delivered straight to your inbox.
Late last week as I was journeying through the Serengeti Plains with a local group of albino dwarves, I felt a tingling… a tingling deep within my gonads. My mouth started watering uncontrollably, like a beaver when he/she sees a perfect piece of timber, like a b*tch (female dog) in heat when she sees a Great Dane hop over the neighbors fence, his huge beautiful balls flapping in the wind like a kite during a hurricane; I couldn’t decipher the meaning, but then, seemingly out of nowhere, Darweshi, Dwarf Lord and one of the countless mentors who have helped me on my journey to enlightenment, grabbed me by the Geoduck, pulled me inches from his ivory colored lips, fumigating my lungs with the aroma of his hot ass-water breath and told me what I must do: “Reveal your true self to the people!” Darweshi commanded…
“Show the fine children of Razzball all of your talents, all that you bring to the table. Not just your phenomenal writing (His words, not mine), but your stage-trained acting skills you were taught by the gifted yet troubled Tom Arnold, the exhilarating dancing you learned from 15 years of tutelage under (not literally, unfortunately) the great and wise Paula Abdul, your fascinating original poetry that has some calling you a young Shel Silverstein, your rapier wit, your incredible body (which is seemingly molded from iron, steroids free…).”
It’s time to reveal…….LO-WELL, Thee Greatest Showman.” Taking in Darweshi’s lecture hit me like a 60-pound bag of butt plugs, for I have always wanted to maintain my private life, but after three peyote sticks and an intense game of Battleship, I concluded that Darweshi, King butt-breath himself, was correct… No more hiding behind my birth name of Tehol Beddict, for that man is now dead. Say one thing for Tehol Beddict, he had the potential to be the best that ever did it. Sadly, his gluttonous sexual appetite and desire to love every woman on the planet got in his way of becoming truly elite. Lo-Well has no such problems, for he has given up sex for life, had his genitals tattooed shimmery gold and sworn a vow to protect all of those who are weaker than he (everyone). I am back baby, recharged and with enough build up to choke that T-Rex hybrid in the new Jurassic Park flick. Cock the hammer and put the kids to bed! FOR IT’S TIME TO SLAY! HEED MY WORDS!!!!!! AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Anyway, here’s some of my thought about what’s going on in the world of baseball and some other random shizz…
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Let’s talk. In what’s been titled “The Surgical Summer” by the longest running trapper of the year, we stand on the edge of one of the greatest times to be a fantasy baseballer (everyone’s mom’s term, sorry Grey). It’s just about to be summer callup season. Chop the tops off the coupes! Through this confusing period of hyped up small samples and overreactions to adjustments emerges a shiny SAGNOF. One with a name out of a nursery rhyme. A man known as Myles Straw. A former 2015 12th round pick out of St. Johns River Community College, world renowned as the best Juco program on the St. Johns River. So far in 2018 Straw has left Texas League base-paths ablaze. Through 50 games Straw is 31 for 37 on the bases while he slashes .371/.466/.441. Yes, the slugging is lower than the on base percentage. Yes, there’s no over the fence power. BUT if you have the kind of speed and base running instincts Straw has in spades, your speed, contact, and on base ability can translate to fantasy success. At 23 he’s a touch on the older side, and in an organization with loads of outfielders, so he might need a trade. However, over the last few seasons we’ve seen Houston outfield standouts star for other organizations. Teoscar Hernandez comes to mind in particular, but Jason Martin (who we will discuss late) has also been tremendous.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ending a relationship in fantasy baseball is often like a real-life break-up: emotional, sad, fraught with second-guessing… yet ultimately the best thing for everyone involved. Playing in the RCL writers’ league this year, where daily roster turnover can be a way of life, has reminded me how satisfying it can be to cut bait on someone who is just not treating you well. Yes, there is always the fear of seeing that person out and about with someone new, both having the time of their lives. But that still doesn’t mean you aren’t better off without him! The gentleman that lately has been causing me the most stress in terms of whether or not we should stay together is Jose Quintana, whom I drafted in more leagues than I care to think about. It feels horrible to let go of someone you spent an early pick on, and since he had basically zero trade value I finally dumped him in my shallowest league, and it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders. Even though I have to think Quintana will improve (especially since his April and May were quite disappointing last year as well), I didn’t have time to wait around in a shallow mixed league. There was and will be enough decent pitching on the waiver wire that I’m not really concerned about replacing Quintana, even if he suddenly turns things around and pitching lights off over the next few months. In my deeper leagues, though, it’s a different story — I feel pot-committed to wait it out and hope things get better, especially since there’s little or nothing starter-wise out there available to replace him… but part of me wonders if I should have just sent him packing five or six weeks ago and never looked back. While I’m daydreaming about how satisfying it would be to dump all of my fantasy under-performers, even in leagues where there’s no way I can afford to do so, let’s take a look at a few players who might be of interest to those of us in NL-only, AL-only, and other deep leagues.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
I’ll be honest – while it’s refreshing that we finally have a Thursday slate that isn’t a barely playable 3 or 4 game disaster, today we’ve got one of the most boring slates I’ve seen in a while. Pitching wise, at least in cash, the slate appears to offer an interesting debate between two options, one of whom is noticeable more expensive than the other, but for reasons that I’ll get to, to me the choice is clear. And offensively, there are a few teams in good matchups, and one or two good players, but other than that, it’s a whole lot of meh. It’s so much meh that I couldn’t even come up with a clever introduction. The only clever thing I can say is to call this slate the 40 degree day slate.
On to the picks…
New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!
Please, blog, may I have some more?[brid video=”236743″ player=”10951″ title=”FantasyBaseballMailbagWeek9″]
A no innings restriction Alex Reyes = Geez, first time that’s ever happened, usually I last much longer. Yesterday, Reyes went 4 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 2 Ks as he was activated. But his rehab told me he was supposed to throw a complete game with 15 Ks! What gives? There was some concern his velocity dropped towards the end of yesterday’s start, but it seemed to me more like a situation where he was just gassed from not being able to find the plate, and he confirmed that after the game. I’m still all-in on Reyes, but he might be more like every other pitcher who has ever had Tommy John surgery than we thought, i.e., lacking command for a month or two to regain mechanics, which is different than a bunch of balding guys at Pep Boys. That’s Rogaine mechanics. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?
After hitting 6 HRs and stealing three bases with a .254 average in his first 17 games, Franchy Cordero (OF, Forearm Strain) has slowed down considerably hitting only 1 HR and stealing 2 bases with a .222 average over his next 23 games with a 30:9 K/BB ratio. With Hunter Renfroe returning and Wil Myers due back soon — I’m afraid it’s the guillotine for Franchy. Stash or Trash: I’d be thinking of trashing him unless you’re in a deep league with not a lot of options. Fill In: Daniel Palka (2.1%.) Palka has been filling in for an injured Leury Garcia for the Chi-Sox and has been doing pretty well lately. Who is Daniel Palka? He’s a former third round pick who hit 34 HRs in 2016 in the Twins AA and AAA program. He’s also a guy who hit 29 HR and stole 24 bases the year before that. What the hell? Why isn’t this guy being added in all leagues? Well throughout his minor league career he’s had a strikeout rate in the high 20% with a contact rate in the 60’s. So far this season in the majors he has 23 strikeouts to only 3 walks so he’s performing pretty on-brand. After an 0 for 8 start to his major league career, Palka has 26 hits in 85 at bats with 4 HR, 15 RBI and 2 SB. If you need help in deeper leagues take a chance on Al Palka.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Welcome back to Perception Vs. Reality. This is the time of week that we take a look at players on the player rater and judge if they are friend or foe. Actually, baseball players are about the best friends to us that we could ever have. They are there for us almost every day. A couple of times a week, they even give us a reason to stare at our phones in the middle of our meaningless jobs (no offense to people who have meaningful jobs). There are always box scores to look at in the morning if you don’t want to stay awake for the west coast games.
There are the funny players like Bartolo Colon that make us giggle every time he jiggles his belly or swings for the fences. There are the trolls like Trevor Bauer who give us something to talk about on twitter. Our out of town baseball friends like Vlad Guerrero Jr. who we can’t wait to make it to the big leagues. Let’s get into the friends of the player rater heading into June.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Warning, this post has no consistent theme. When I sat down and began thinking about what to write I really couldn’t focus on a single concept, so instead the result is a hodgepodge of points league material. If I was going to talk about Eric Hosmer who has a measly 114 points I could borrow the term hodgepadre from a much better writer. But if I’m being honest, I couldn’t give a shit about Hosmer as his 0.51 points per plate appearance. While we’re discussing Padres let’s spend a sentence or two on Christian Villanueva and his 14 home runs. Despite leading all rookies in dingers, Villanueva also has 51 strikeout in 156 at bats. That’s an impressive (unimpressive?) strikeout rate. Ignoring my recent post about not penalizing a batter for a strikeout, this is not good in points leagues. This is why he only has 97 points and is still on the wire is over twenty-five percent of points leagues.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
There are five aces starting today – four of them are projected for over 12 points by Draft, but one was left behind. Shohei Ohtani is projected for just 9.6 points, which means I’ll be taking batters first and waiting to snag him later. Ohtani should have a much better day than Draft projects. He’s got an elite 32.3% K-rate with just an 8.7% walk-rate with just a 2.69 Deserved Run Average. The Tigers have just a .306 wOBA versus right-handed pitching this season, so Ohtani will have no issues with them.
New to Draft.com? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!
Please, blog, may I have some more?[brid video=”236743″ player=”10951″ title=”FantasyBaseballMailbagWeek9″]
Times like this you wish Noah Syndergaard wasn’t complaining of a ligament strain and just had a bad lisp. “Oh no! My finger is Thor, and it needs a Syndergaard.” More like Noah Fingergaard! Noah Syndergaard hit the DL with a finger ligament strain. I’m fully aware that at least one person in every league ignored my advice to ignore Syndergaard and drafted him very early, so I will do something I’ve never done before, not gloat. True story, my crazy aunt used to say I gloated all the time behind her back (I did) and I drove her into a mental asylum. See, when I say my ‘crazy’ aunt, I’m being literal! So, without gloating, let me just say when a pitcher proves himself to be injury prone, take his word for it. His Synderwoord? DeGrom’s already had a dislocated elbow, and my money’s on him getting injured at some point again soon too. Same goes for Kershaw. Not trying to be harsh, it’s just truth bombs. If you own Syndergaard, hope he returns relatively soon, but this is the kind of injury that sidelines a pitcher for an entire season. Sorry, another truth bomb. Oh, and the Mets said Syndergaard can return in ten days. What’s the opposite of a truth bomb? That’s what that is. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?
RCL Update: The Week That Was, Week 8, 2018
May 29, 2018 | Our Leagues, Razzball Commenters League | 18 Commentsby: MattTruss
I hope everyone had a fabulous Memorial Day weekend. I was lucky enough to take in a game this weekend and see the Sawx take on my beloved Braves in Fenway Park. The Braves lost, but I got to see Acuna live and in the tilde, Ozzie Albeast and my man-crush, Freddie Freeman. Massachusetts native, Sean Newcomb started the game, so there were a lot of Braves support there for him. The camo unis underwhelmed this year, black on black camo just looks solid black from the stands but the olive drab green high socks were pretty sweet. Anyway, we’re all recovered here at Razzball Commenter League HQ and ready to fill you in on all the goings on this week. We had a change at the number one spot for a second straight week, a certain prospector continued their dominance of the ‘Perts League and a couple of weekly records were broken. More details and the rest of the week that was week 8 in the RCLs below:
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Razzball.com and the Razzball logo units are copyright Razzball LLC.