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Stands from a folding chair, and clears throat. I’m in the back of a church. Around me a group of people who look like they need a cigarette. The group leader asks me to introduce myself. “Hi, I’m Grey, and it’s my first time here.” Everyone murmurs hi to me. I force a smile. Then, I continue, “Yesterday, I not only thought about a perfect game happening while it was in the process of happening, but I also mentioned it to my wife, Cougs. It was me, who jinxed Drew Rasmussen.” Everyone nods their head. One guy who’s wearing a Steel Panther shirt says, “I did the same during Armando Galarraga’s.” Reactions from the group members, they can’t believe he jinxed Armando. I continue, “That makes me feel better, actually. Armando’s jinx is much worse than mine.” Steel Panther Guy screams, “I jinxed it, but I inadvertently caused instant replay to be adopted!” As he stormed out of the room. The leader swallows hard, “Um, thanks for sharing, Grey.” So, I turned the TV onto Drew Rasmussen (8 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 1 hit, 7 Ks, ERA at 2.80), and his Maddux perfecto just in time to jinx him. Sigh, my bad. The trade of Willy Adames for Rasmussen has ended up working for both teams, and for all involved in fantasy. Rasmussen has been mostly Yesmussen with a 7.4 K/9, 2.3 BB/9, and 3.68 xFIP as he throws a slider that’s mostly unhittable (.212 BAA), and not just by the O’s. His 38.6% HardHit% would be around Sandy Alcantara, Gerrit Cole and Kevin Gausman. I blame myself for yesterday’s perfect game lost in the 9th, but, in 2023 fantasy, Rasmussen is going to be undervalued, even though the Rays haven’t had a bad pitcher in, like, ten years. (Hyperbole to make a point; don’t tell me about Yarbrough.) Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

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See all of today’s starting lineups

# MLB Starting Lineups For Tue 8/5
ARI | ATH | ATL | BAL | BOS | CHC | CHW | CIN | CLE | COL | DET | HOU | KC | LAA | LAD | MIA | MIL | MIN | NYM | NYY | PHI | PIT | SD | SEA | SF | STL | TB | TEX | TOR | WSH | OAK

Wow, another week of the baseball season has come and gone, which means it is time for another week of Top Dynasty Keepers.

This week I am going to change things up a bit and focus on two of the top prospects entering this season – Bobby Witt Jr. and Oneal Cruz. Both players have been on the radar of dynasty owners for years, and this season we are finally getting the chance to watch them play every day.

Witt has been a top prospects since being drafted by the Kansas City Royals in 2019 and entered this season ranked as the third best prospect by Baseball America (BA) and the top prospect by MLB and Baseball Prospectus (BP).

The left-handed hitting Cruz entered the year as the 14th best prospect by BA, 26th by MLB and 12th by BP. Pittsburgh gave us a very small peak of what Cruz could do last season when he played in two games for the Pirates and went 3-for-9 with a homer. After starting the year in the minors, the Pirates finally brought him up to the show in June and he has been a mainstay in the lineup.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’ve been crushing these streamers since the All-Star break but last week was terrible. It was easily one of my worst weeks of the year, and that’s simply going to happen at times with the volatility of baseball. I was a bit hesitant picking streamers last week, but that’s certainly not the case here. Those […]

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Here’s where the frontispiece would go, if I didn’t think that word was kinda nasty. 

Here’s a link to the Top 25.

Here’s a link to the Top 50.

51. 1B Triston Casas | Red Sox | 22 | AAA | 2022

52. RHP Andrew Painter | Phillies | A+ | 19 | 2024

53. OF Evan Carter | Rangers | 19 | A+ | 2024

54. OF Jasson Dominguez | Yankees | 19 | A+ | 2024

Triston Casas hasn’t had the season some expected, and Eric Hosmer joining the club muddies his playing time outlook, but he remains a high-probability major league bat. 

For all the talk about Eury Perez being huge and young with good command, you don’t hear much about 6’7” 215 lb Andrew Painter, but Painter has been every bit as dominant as Perez, racking up 109 strikeouts through 68.1 innings across two levels and posting a 1.32 ERA along the way. He threw seven shutout innings against the High-A Yankees his last time out, allowing two hits and one walk while recording eleven punchouts. Makes me wonder if they’ll send him to Double-A for September. 

Evan Carter has 22 extra base hits and 13 stolen bases over his last 39 games, slashing .333/.415/.605 over that stretch. He’s controlling the zone, too: 11.1% BB and 15.8% K-rates. He’ll turn 20 on August 29 and might be in Double-A before then. 

Gotta hand it to Jasson Dominguez for evolving his game to make plate skills his calling card. Or one of his calling cards, anyway. He’s already stolen eight bases in 19 High-A games, where he’s posting a .410 on base percentage and 16.9-to-22.9 walk-to-strikeout rate. The power is coming, too. He’s got 39 extra base hits in 94 games across two levels this season. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Welcome to the scrap heap. Where all of the discarded and disregarded players have landed due to poor performance, injury or just simply disrespect. This week we are going to do a good ole Buy or Sell focusing on names that are owned in less than 50% of leagues. Maybe we strike it right or simply strike out. Whatever the outcome will be, at least we are in this together. Without further ado, let us jump in like a Carter Capps jump fastball.

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The baseball world got some disappointing news Friday night when San Diego Padres shortstop slash motorcycle rider slash drug user slash all around cool guy Fernando Tatis Jr. was handed a 80 game suspension by Major League Baseball after testing positive for performance enhancing drugs. WTF FTJ, PEDs!? SMH. I can think of some other […]

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Razzle Dazzlers, welcome once again to your weekly fantasy baseball injury report. The “Ambulance Chasers” article series mostly focuses on matters of the living. It is not called “Hearse Chasers” after all (but that could be an interesting spin-off).  However, give me a minute to opine about the Harry Caray hologram at the MLB Field […]

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(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH)

Dustin May aka The Giant Human Carrot last May yelled Mayday and everyone was like, “Okay, cool, he’s psyching himself up!” That was not it, he was calling for help. May, um, made the right choice to undergo Tommy John surgery. Better to ‘Suck it up, buttercup,’ and buy Dr. James Andrews an 18-inch Rolex to hang from his neck like Flavor Flav vs. trying to rehab by injecting fat from Bartolo’s ass into his arm. Now, 15 months later, May’s yelling Mayday once again, but this time it’s like Dre yelling Dre Day and he looks flat-out dominant in the minors during his rehab, and the Dodgers could use another starter. May, uh, may rejoin the Dodgers after one more rehab start. Usually don’t love the “pitchers returning from major injury” flyer, but May is an ace, and The Giant Human Carrot could be a difference maker the rest of the way. Remember, you’re no bunny ’til some bunny is eyeing your Carrot Top. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?