Last year’s LABR team was:
C: Elias Diaz – $1
C: Tyler Stephenson – $1
1B: Christian Walker – $16
2B: Nico Hoerner – $21
SS: Bo Bichette – $22
3B: Luis Rengifo – $1
MI: Oneil Cruz – $12
CI: Josh Naylor – $14
OF: Julio Rodriguez – $42
OF: Aaron Judge – $39
OF: Jackson Chourio – $10
OF: Christopher Morel – $7
OF: Tyler O’Neill – $4
Util: Marcell Ozuna – $1
Bench: Kris Bryant, Pete Crow-Armstrong
P: Yoshinobu Yamamoto – $25
P: David Bednar – $13
P: Alexis Diaz – $9
P: Sonny Gray – $8
P: Jose Berrios – $4
P: Braxton Garrett – $4
P: Yusei Kikuchi – $3
P: Charlie Morton – $2
P: Kyle Harrison – $1
Bench: Brusdar Graterol, Hunter Harvey, Ranger Suarez
I show you that up front to put your expectations in order, and help you compare and contrast last year’s team with this year’s. Why are you turning the contrast up on your computer monitor? That’s not at all what I meant. Is this why your significant other has you wear a helmet when showering? So, on my team last year, I got a pretty miserable year from JRod; Yamamoto was good for roughly three months; Judge was great; Bo Piece-of-chette lived up to his name; David Shit-the-Bednar was almost as good; Gray was spectacular — Sonny, as well; Alexis Diaz was not; Hoerner wasn’t great; Chourio absolutely was and Ozuna might’ve been the steal of the draft. So, good, bad and everything in-between. Let’s now look at my team for this year. But first, he says like an informercial salesman, the league’s rules. Besides being an auction, weekly and two catcher, it’s very similar to our RCL leagues (spots available to take on me and all of your worst frenemies, and win prizes; it’s free — sign up for a Razzball Commenter League under that linkie-ma-whosie.) Anyway, here’s my LABR 12-team, mixed league draft recap:
C: Jonah Heim – $2
C: Hunter Goodman – $1
1B: Vinnie Pasquantino – $11
2B: Luis Rengifo – $5
SS: Gunnar Henderson – $36
3B: Junior Caminero – $16
MI: Ezequiel Tovar – $11
CI: Jazz Chisholm Jr. – $27
OF: Yordan Alvarez – $31
OF: Lawrence Butler – $20
OF: Steven Kwan – $7
OF: TJ Friedl – $1
OF: Parker Meadows – $1
UTIL: Lars Nootbaar – $1
Bench: Ha-Seong Kim
P: Cole Ragans – $25
P: Yoshinobu Yamamoto – $18
P: Josh Hader – $17
P: Sonny Gray – $12
P: Robert Suarez – $9
P: Nathan Eovaldi – $5
P: Bowden Francis – $1
P: Clarke Schmidt – $1
P: Ronel Blanco – $1
Bench: Aroldis Chapman, Kyle Harrison, David Peterson, Brandon Sproat
OKAY, I FEEL LIKE YOU WANT TO GIVE ME YOUR WAR ROOM VALUES, SO LET’S GET THAT OUT OF THE WAY.
Appreciate you teeing me up there, Mr. Al Capps.
LOOKS MEH. READS MEH. GOING TO TAKE A NAP.
Before you run off, let me explain my reasoning. There’s a quick LOL here too for you.
OKAY, I ENJOY THE LULZ. LET’S HEAR IT.
My bullpen last year was a true PITA and not the type that Castellanos’s mother serves in her diner, but a Pain In The Ass. You feel me? Okay, can you stop? It’s super weird that you’re still touching me. Bednar and Diaz killed me week in and week out. I worked waivers and did fine in saves. I won the league, so I clearly fixed things through waivers.
WHERE’S THE PROMISED LOL?
Coming, chillax. Bednar and Diaz aged me six months last year, and usually I age one day per month thanks to this revolutionary reverse aging treatment called: Drafting Well. So, I really wanted to avoid that disaster again this year, which had me drafting Josh Hader and Robert Suarez. Two stalwarts in the pen, right? Well, the war room for last year’s team? It liked Bednar and Diaz better last year than it likes Hader and Suarez. LOL.
THAT WAS THE LOL? RAISE YOUR LOL STANDARDS, MAN, YOU’RE WASTING MY TIME. OKAY, SPEAK ON THE REST OF THE TEAM.
Can’t believe how mediocre last year’s team looks in retrospect, considering I won that league. Did I mention I won the league? I did? Hmm, okay, if you say so. This year Steven Kwan was the only “I’m choosing this guy on a needs to know basis and I needs to know him because my team is hurting in” something. In Kwan’s case, it was average, steals and runs. Everyone else I drafted, for better or worse, was because I really liked them, and sorta threw around my fake dolla-dolla bills like I was making it rain in an imaginary strip club. $36 for an imaginary lap dance from Gunnar Henderson seems too good to be true, let’s hope it’s not. To give you some comparable amounts paid: Ohtani $49; Witt $47; Judge $45; Elly $44; Jo-Ram $41; Kyle Tucker $40; Soto $38 then Gunnar at $36. Following him was Betts and Corbin Carroll both at $35. Buying the dip there because of the injury concerns, which seem minor and it’s roughly a month before the season. I have adjusted Gunnar in my top 10 and top 500. Then you have Lawrence Butler, Junior Caminero and Jazz all playing in goofy minor league stadiums this year. SacTown Stadium, Big Stein Stadium and Big Stein Jr. Stadium will all help these guys and I did a little Lars Nootbaar sleeper and Parker Meadows sleeper bargain hunting, and I haven’t even mentioned Captain Woo Cubano, my 2nd biggest buy, and my 1st biggest love. Please, Yordan, get those 50 homers this year.
YOU CAN SAY YORDAN IS YOUR 1ST BIGGEST LOVE, BUT REAL ONES KNOW THE TRUTH.
Okay, fine, it’s true, I can’t quit Luis Rengifo. I like the steals — Wash loves to run, almost as much as he loves to run down lines — I also love his position eligibility. Once Jazz has 2nd base eligibility, him and Rengifo will float to wherever I need them. Also, last note on hitting: It’s unlimited IL so I figure I will IL Kim, Meadows and Rengifo when he’s hurt, then pick up players, of which there’s a ton. It’s a 12 team mixed league!
SPEAK ON YOUR PITCHING, AND KEEP IT SHORT, I HAVE A MASSAGE IN 20.
This is a weekly league, and you have to dominant innings. There’s guys on waivers, the “Well, he’s not great, but he’s getting two starts” starters are abundant. Most weeks I find myself starting only one closer, and going with eight starters. Last year, there was prolly weeks when I went closer-less. To win this league, or any 12 teamer, you want to dominant hitting and hope your pitching is just good enough in ratios and saves while taking down Wins and Ks. It’s really that easy. If you want to put that to the test vs. me and everyone else in the RCL, join a league:
Click the LINK in the ‘League Link’ column (see below) for the time you want and voila, you’re in. If you’re not signed up at Fantrax, you need to do that too (it’s free). Damn, that’s too easy. Oh, I guess I should also mention make sure you’re joining a league for free or for money, depending on your preference. That’s it! You can join as many leagues as you like. If you accidentally join a league, you can quit a league by going to OTHER –> All Options –> Quit League (located at the bottom). Now go join some leagues!
Want to be my internet pal? That’s kinda creepy, but you can follow me on the bluest of skies: @matttruss.bsky.social
