Hello, new readers. No, this isn’t High Times dot com, but don’t worry there’s Doritos at the end of this post. Hey, don’t skip ahead. You have to read the post first. Yes, the computer is talking to you. Aw, I’m just messing with you. The computer’s not talking to you. You’re just reading, silly! So, Bud Norris didn’t come out of nowhere to be my new Razzpick du jour. Yesterday, he went six innings, giving up one run and K’d 4. In the not-too-decent past, I mentioned liking his upside. For our friends in Latin America, the caveat is his wildness. The love comes from the fact he has more Ks than innings. There’s only ten other starters with more than 110 innings in the major leagues that can claim that. That’s one starter for every finger. Unless Antonio Alfonseca is reading this. The wildness is still there, but he hasn’t walked more than 3 batters in a game since April. I’d absolutely grab Norris for the last month if I needed Ks (who doesn’t?) and some upside (of course you do). Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Chris Johnson – 4-for-6, 1 RBI in a 16th inning game that saw Roy Oswalt play left field and Tim Kurkjian’s voice cracking at the sheer craziness of the game. Can you believe this game, fellas?!
Ryan Howard – 0-for-7 with 5 Ks before he was ejected. That’s the golden early shower sombrero.
Ian Kinsler – Received good news that he’s about week away from trying to re-injure himself again in the major leagues. Here’s to that next injury, Kinsler!
Bobby Jenks – When Putz came out injured (zipper problem?), Jenks came in and sealed the deal with a perfect save. With Thornton headed to the DL, Jenks is your closer.
Hong-Chih Kuo – And Broxton is not your closer. Or at least he wasn’t last night. Broxton was the closer on Saturday then his next time out he looked like how Torre treats Kemp. I imagine Kuo will get another save or two until Broxton can get his shizz together.
Chad Billinsgley – Will have his next start pushed back to Saturday because of a tweaked calf. Hopefully he doesn’t go ice skating on his time off.
Jorge de la Rosa – 7 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks. You might feel like you need bulbs the size of onions to start some of these guys, but dlR hasn’t given up more than 3 runs in over a month.
Eric Young Jr. – 3-for-4 with his 9th steal. He’s leading off every game and stealing. You really shouldn’t need more.
Javier Vazquez – Moving to the bullpen for a little while while (stutterer!) Ivan Nova takes over his starting spot. Vazquez should’ve been dropped months ago; now you have no excuse. I went over Nova yesterday, you can get to it from here with a little ingenuity. The gist: Always drink your Novaltine!
Carlos Zambrano – 7 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks. I’ll cop to grabbing Big Z in one league. Hey, if you can’t beat ’em or file a restraining order…
Carlos Marmol – 1 1/3 IP, 3 ER. Your Ks make me so happy, your wildness makes me so sad. It’s bittersweet, more sweet than bitter, bitter than sweet, Big Head Todd.
Tyler Colvin – 2-for-3 with a homer as he hit in the eight hole. Big change from when Lou was batting him leadoff. The eight hole for NL hitters is death.
Matt Holliday – 1-for-4 with his 22nd homer. He’s doing what you hoped Markakis would do and Josh Hamilton’s doing what you hoped Holliday would do. Maybe finally next year people won’t expect the Holliday of Coors to still show up.
Evan Meek – Recorded the save with 1 IP, 1 ER and 4 baserunners, bringing his August ERA to 8.59. His name is looking more and more like an aptronym. Hanrahanananan hasn’t been much better, so the Pirates may just play matchups, using both relievers. Yes, a shituation that already yielded next to no saves just got worse.
Jose Tabata – 2-for-3, 3 RBIs and a steal. Steal-tuh-batta-batta-steal!
Kila Ka’aihue – The Good Eyein’ Hawai’ian hit his first homer of the year. Can grab him in AL-Only leagues, but for now hold your junk in mixed leagues.
Rick Porcello – 7 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 4 Ks. That’s nice, but he has a 5.26 ERA in August. Porcello a mushroom cloud away from a blow up.
Ryan Raburn – 2-for-4 with his 8th homer. I’ve already mentioned on a few occasions that I like Raburn. Raburn’s the horse, and it’s been beat.
Jhonny Peralta – Now 5 for his last 7. So far Silent H has been deadly for your fantasy teams, so I’d try and maintain my jhoy.
Will Rhymes – 2-for-4, getting comical how much he’s been getting on base (.476 over the last week) and still doesn’t have a steal. You got the rhyming, now bring on the stealing!
Hideki Matsui – 3-for-5 and hitting near-.400 in the last week. Still only has 2 homers this month, but if the million other hitters I’d own before Matsui are taken, here ya go.
Mike Napoli – Sat out again as the Angels placed him on waivers. It’s pretty normal for teams to place guys on waivers, but the irony is (if it is irony… no one has any idea what irony is), if the Angels were to see a team place a 20 homer 1st baseman on waivers and they didn’t know who he was, they would want him. Seriously, Napoli, apologize for sleeping with Scioscia’s wife. You were drunk, it’s all good. Bros before, well, you know.
Clayton Richard – 6 IP, 0 ER, 8 baserunners, 8 Ks. Guess where he pitched. Yup.
Will Venable – 2-for-3 with a slam & legs. Was his 6th steal in his last ten games. Yes, he really is this fast.
Gaby Sanchez – 2-for-3 and 3 homers in his last five games and now has 15 home runs on the year. Looks like someone didn’t like that I compared him to Lyle Overbay. Well, Lyle Overbay has 16 homers. Cust kayin’.
Travis Wood – 4 IP, 7 ER. Damn, roofied.
Brandon Phillips – 3-for-5 with 2 homers. He’s on an insane hot streak right now. One four-hit and two three-hit nights in his last five, three-oh-nine.
Freddy Sanchez – 4-for-4, 4 Runs and a homer. The game before, 4-for-5. Since Freddy got fingered to platoon with Fontenot, he’s hitting near .450.
Pat Burrell – 0-for-3 as the Giants scored 16 runs. Ticker tease!
Coco Crisp – 3-for-5, with a homer and a steal. Last night was a huge night for slams & legses.
Angel Pagan – 4-for-5, 3 Runs and his 31st steal. Do you realize Angel Pagan is a top ten fantasy outfielder according to ESPN’s Player Rater? Sure, steals are overvalued on that thing, but that’s still kinda crazy.
R.A. Dickey – 7 IP, 5 ER, 10 baserunners, 8 Ks. Starts like this happen because of the unpredictable nature of the knuckleball. On a sidenote, this game saw Dickey going against Johnson. Sounds less like a baseball game and more like a sword fight.