Or is it Philly adds pap shmear to their J-Roll? What, icky? Sorry, friend. The Phils signed Jonathan Papelbon to a silly deal of sillier proportions. Maybe the Phils should move to the Santa Ynez Valley because their replacement of Madson is a sideways move. <– movie pun! Well, for whatever reason the Phils don’t […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
The national budget isn’t the only thing that’s strained in DC, Ryan Zimmerman is headed to the DL with an ab strain. This was an injury that originally happened in Spring Training and now it looks like the ab has taken out a *pinkie to mouth* restraining order. Zimmerman always seemed like such a […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
Hello, new readers. No, this isn’t High Times dot com, but don’t worry there’s Doritos at the end of this post. Hey, don’t skip ahead. You have to read the post first. Yes, the computer is talking to you. Aw, I’m just messing with you. The computer’s not talking to you. You’re just reading, silly! […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
For the Ministry of Silly Names, this is a great day. Finally, Coco Crisp gets his just deserts, or is it breakfast? Coco Crisp has had a problem with injuries in the past, constantly going snap, crackle, pop. Now I’m with Coco, as long as he doesn’t move to TBS. His game was Baroque, now […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
Chase Utley went 0-for-5 as he returned from the DL. My favorite advice by fantasy ‘perts is when they tell you to get a returning superstar into your lineup. Do people often leave their 1st round picks on the DL when they’re playing? Is this something I need to tell people? While you’re at it, […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
Matt Kemp doesn’t seem like he cares. Well, about anything outside of protecting Rihanna’s honor and piercings. I don’t blame him. The GM questions his defense. The manager plays Jay Gibbons over him. Andre Ethier gets all the cool pink shirts. Manny was recently overheard saying, “What does a man have to do to get […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ted Williams hit a HR in his last AB. John Elway won his 2nd straight Super Bowl in his last start. Chipper Jones eschewed a standing ovation in favor of a reclining operation. Sometimes you don’t appreciate greatness until it hits the DL. In between all the injuries, Chipper Jones has had one of the […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
Francisco Rodriguez was arrested for assaulting his father-in-law. That’s going to make for awkward holidays. Or maybe they’ll skip Christmas and celebrate Boxing Day. Fred Wilpon needs to put some rubber bands in his beard and get K-Rod and Tony “Shirtless” Bernazard into the squared circle. During the fight, Johan was seen comforting K-Rod’s wife. […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
Chase Utley was placed on the 15-day DL with a sprained thumb and he might need surgery. This injury opens up a big gaping hole in his owners’ hearts that can only be filled with junk food and hardcore drugs. Utley may not have been playing his weight in pomade, but at least you had […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
.288/.378/.535 in A and AA. Pedro Almodovar! Wait, rechecking my notes. Pedro Alvarez! Last year, Robot Jones and The Dread Pirate Triple Lindy’d into the Pirates mucky-muck with a certain panache (Pretentious Word of the Day!). Next up, is The Smashbuckler, the Pirates future 3rd baseman. Argh, into the bilgewater you go, LaRoche! You landlubber! […]Please, blog, may I have some more?