Yesterday, Felix Doubront¬†went 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 11 Ks and rose The Walking Dead in Boston. ¬†I wonder if Stephen King helped recruit Doubront for the Red Sox. ¬†I wonder if there’s going to be a Red Sox team next year or if they’ll just merge with their Pawtucket minor league team. ¬†¬†I wish I could tell you that the Red Sox fought the good fight, and the Sisters let them be. ¬†Damn you, Morgan Freeman Voice Over, taking over my brain! ¬†¬†Doubront’s actually been an under-the-radar bright spot for the Po’ Sawx. ¬†Through 28 starts and 154 IP, his xFIP is under 4 (ERA is 4.91, which makes him seem gross) and his K-rate is above 9. ¬†Striking out a guy per inning and an xFIP far below his ERA should spell a fantasy sleeper for 2013. ¬†He might be the first Red Sox starter I‚Äôm excited about since Curt Schilling.¬† So, yes, I‚Äôd definitely invest in him as long as you don‚Äôt bankrupt the state of Rhode Island to do it. ¬†Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Cliff Pennington – 2-for-3, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 6th homer. ¬†Might be the start of something. ¬†Plus, if you have a category in your league for Players That Sound Like They Should Be Wearing Plaid Pants, Cliff Pennington wins you that category. ¬†Each and every time.
Ichiro Suzuki – 1-for-5 with his 27th steal. ¬†3-for-5 with a homer on Saturday. ¬†In the last week, he’s hitting near .500 with 6 steals and 2 homers. ¬†Seeing that is making me nostalgic for the mid-2000’s when Britney and K-Fed were giving all white trash lovebirds hope, Mel Gibson was an anti-semite but no one knew and women who popped out of their tops had “wardrobe malfunction” to describe it. ¬†A golden age, for sure.
Nick Swisher – 2-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 22nd homer. ¬†He’s hitting near .350 in the last week with two homers. ¬†You know that 2001 Mitsubishi Eclipse that was a p-magnet when it was new, and, occasionally in the right light, it still turns some heads? ¬†That’s¬†this Yankees team. ¬†BTW, when I looked up p-magnet in the Urbandictionary, “Don Juan” was a synonym, which reminds me — this weekend your very own fantasy ‘pert was hanging out with Bishop Don “Magic” Juan! ¬†Okay, we weren’t exactly hanging out. ¬†My buddy lives down the street from him and he was like, “You wanna meet Don “Magic” Juan?” ¬†And I was like, “Yeah, of course, I do. ¬†Are you kidding me?” ¬†So we go over to his place and he’s wearing a shirt with his face on it and a giant green hat and his five-fingered rings spelling out his name. ¬†He couldn’t chat for long, he was on his way out. ¬†Where was he going all dressed up like that, you may ask yourself. ¬†Oh, he was just heading to CVS. ¬†Bishop Don!
Jeremy Hellickson – 5 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks to lower his ERA to 3.20. ¬†After the game, Hellboy and Ben Zobrist got together to discuss the importance of straws in bottles of water. ¬† Ben Zobrist, “Straws are an important tool to demasculinize yourself in front of single women, especially when you have a teammate named B.J.”
B.J. Upton – 1-for-4 with his 26th homer and 2nd in as many games. ¬†“Yo, Justin, this is your brother, Melvin…Melvin Emmaunel! ¬†And I’m out fantasy valuing you.”
Fernando Rodney – Recorded his 44th save and lowered his ERA to 0.64. ¬†I bet if I told you in March a Rays pitcher would be in the Cy Young and MVP conversation, Rodney would’ve been about the 10th pitcher on the team you would’ve chosen. ¬†Unless 1984 Cy Young and MVP Willie Hernandez was in the convo. ¬†He would’ve guessed right.
Cliff Lee – 8 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 11 Ks to get the loss and move his record to 6-8. ¬†When an older Hispanic woman rode past Lee in the preseason saying “Victories….Victories para de muerte,” Lee didn’t heed the omen and now look where he is.
Justin Ruggiano – Out indefinitely with a sprained shoulder. ¬†Doesn’t sound like he’s coming back. ¬†He tried to throw yesterday, but airmailed it. ¬†Ruggiano, cheese, you work for UPS!
Donovan Solano¬†– 2-for-4 and 8 for his last 14, while batting near .350 in the last week. ¬†He’s capable of speed, but all he’s doing right now is average. ¬†There’s a place for that in some middle infield hot schmotato slots.
Ricky Nolasco – 7 IP, 2 ER, ¬†7 baserunners, 5 Ks. ¬†He had an ERA over 5 as late as August 21st and there was no way he could actually get on fantasy radars again next year to disappoint people yet again, right? ¬†His September ERA is below 2 and there’s always some who get fooled into, “Hey, his September was great, Grey, so do you or your mustache think there’s anything here to see?”
Michael Bourn – Sat yesterday with a jammed thumb, but plans to play on Tuesday. ¬†He said, “Ain’t nothin’ gonna break my stride…¬†Nobody’s gonna slow me down, oh-no. ¬†I got to keep on movin’.” ¬†Then Diddy tried to sue him for stealing his music, then Matthew Wilder said, “Hey, that’s not even your song.”
David Wright – 1-for-4 with his 19th homer as his average now sits at .304. ¬†The only thing about my David Wright Sell was I gave him too much faith, saying he would hit .307 or higher. ¬†Also, the comments are pretty good in that post about how I’m a such a moron. ¬†Don’t worry, we won’t hear from those people again until next year. ¬†People think if someone’s hitting a week after I say to sell him, then I’m wrong. ¬†Obviously some people forget that a baseball season is 6 months long.
Frank Francisco¬†– His elbow has probably shut him down for the year. ¬†His elbow also owns Jon Rauch on its fantasy team. ¬†Take that as you will.
Max Scherzer – 5 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks and only 86 pitches vs. the Twins. ¬†On one hand, he did get into the 6th before allowing any runs and the bullpen really failed him. ¬†On the other hand, he obviously wasn’t 100% or he would’ve pitched deeper and not been a victim of the bullpen. ¬†On a third hand which is actually a foot wearing a mitten, he gets the Twins again next and I wouldn’t trust him to be healthy.
Ben Revere – 3-for-4, 3 runs, 1 RBI and his 38th steal in the first game of the DH and 0-for-5 in the nightcap. ¬†I’ve owned him in the RCL for 378 ABs, so who can speak on this guy better than me? ¬†His stats for me 51/0/28/.283/30. ¬†When I lost Krispie to injury and suckitude, it created a vacuum where I needed steals but at what price? ¬†A pretty big one. ¬†I’m obviously responsible for owning Revere that long, but he’s one of the reasons why I’m lagging badly in power. ¬†It’s just really hard to own a guy that gives you nothing in two categories.
Chris Johnson – Left yesterday’s game after being hit on the hand. ¬†He’s listed as day-to-day as they’re calling it a contusion. ¬†They would say that!
Jordan Pacheco – 2-for-5, a run and RBI. ¬†He’s now hit in 6 in a row and is batting near .350 over the last week. ¬†Not showing much power or speed, but the Rockies are home until Thursday and he’s a worth a flyer.
Homer Bailey – 6 2/3 IP, 5 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks. ¬†I can’t believe I fell for the old banana in the tailpipe trick. ¬†Again, Bailey, you do this to me. ¬†Again. ¬†I’m gonna go torture myself by watching the Emmys.
Adrian Gonzalez – 2-for-4 and two solo homers. ¬†I saw in the box score that he has 3 homers in the NL, but for a second I thought he had three homers all year. ¬†It feels a bit like that. ¬†Oh, A-Gon.
Kenley Jansen – He’s returned, but Brandon League is still getting saves and Ernest¬†Borgnine¬†died this year, as the Emmys told me. ¬†Only the good die young or at nearly a 100. ¬†Run from the Grim Reaper, Betty White! ¬†I think Jansen will probably get a save chance or two this week, but he’s obviously being soft-tossed into the role. ¬†Not entirely sure why. ¬†I mean throwing in a major league game is fine for his heart, but not the ninth inning? ¬†What if the game is close in the 7th? ¬†What if he goes to a three-two count on back-to-back batters? ¬†Is that too much? ¬†How about if the Dodgers are down by two when he pitches, but then they tie it up while he’s in the dugout, is that too much? ¬†I got questions, y’all.
Carlos Santana¬†– 3-for-6, 3 runs, 5 RBIs and two homers, his 17th and 18th. ¬†The more he pushes his fantasy value up for next year the better it is for all of us who punt catcher. ¬†Hit ten bombs this week, Supernatural!
Pete Kozma – 2-for-3 with his 1st homer. ¬† Scouts say about Kozma, “Spectacular instincts, quick hands, and a strong arm…” ¬†I.e., he’s not good for fantasy. ¬†And they say fantasy ruins real sports, ha!
Jake Odorizzi – 5 1/3 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks. ¬†He’s not about this year, he’s for keepers. ¬†Bee tee dubya, someone asked me in the comments yesterday for his line and I wrote at 9:30 AM, “5 IP, 3 ER, 3 Ks for Odorizzi.” ¬†David Blaine, your magic is real!
Josh Harrison – 4-for-6, 2 runs. ¬†Since he hasn’t started a game in 11 days, no one owns Harrison unless they’re related to him or were in a band with his dad. ¬†Hey, Ringo!
A.J. Burnett – 8 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 11 Ks. ¬†Is his first name Apple Juice? ¬†Just curious.
Jose Altuve – Left yesterday’s game with groin tightness. ¬†Unable to run, he’ll miss probably a day or two. ¬†Unless Matt Dominguez throws him in a Baby Bjorn and runs with him. ¬†BTW, Rudy went to yesterday’s Pirates/Astros game and took a still from the game. ¬†Travis Snider had a two-game hitting streak!
Everth Cabrera – 4-for-4, 2 runs and 3 steals. ¬†That’s the kind of Sunday performance that H2H owners dream about. ¬†Only in their dreams, it’s usually Kate Upton playing the part of Everth.
Huston Street – Got the save, but allowed one earned run in his return to the closer role. ¬†Yay save, boo earned run… Yay-boo!
Francisco Peguero – 2-for-3, 1 run and two steals. ¬†Since the Giants clinched on Saturday, they might rest some regulars (this obviously goes for all teams that are clinching). ¬†Peguero doesn’t have much value except he can run like the wind. ¬†If you’re desperate for steals, SAGNOF!
David Murphy – 2-for-3, and 7 for his last 15 and the Rangers are home for the next week. ¬†Murphy’s Law says he will get one homer, one steal and four hits this week. ¬†What? ¬†It’s a very specific law.
Josh Hamilton – Will undergo more tests this week for a sinus/blurred vision problem that has kept him out of the lineup for the past few days. ¬†Here’s a little between-the-lines info for you. ¬†When someone is being paid almost $14 million and is the face of an organization, there’s probably a good chance they have the best doctors looking at him. ¬†This ain’t some Steve Guttenberg in Bad Medicine doctor, who operates out of the back of a Waffle House, and is the only doctor in a twenty mile radius that takes your insurance. ¬†This is a *good* doctor. ¬†Asterisks for emphasis, not aesthetics, though the asterisks do add a certain pizzazz. ¬†So, when Dr. Best Doctor Money Can Buy, M.D. needs to do more tests because they can’t figure out what’s going on, there’s a problem. ¬†This isn’t a small problem either, like when your dog only barks at homeless people and the doggie trainer says the dog just needs you to acclimate him to different types of people. ¬†You can’t line Hamilton’s crate with Mother Jones articles and hope he becomes more tolerant. ¬†I wouldn’t flat out drop Hamilton in non-keepers, but you better have a backup plan if he doesn’t come back until next week for a quick game or two playoff tuneup.