Turns out Leo Nunez isn’t exactly who he said he was.  He’s been playing under an assumed name.  His real name is Juan Carlos Oviedo, he’s a Latin 29 and he’s pen pals with Keyser Söze.   He enjoys snorkeling through Atlantis, talking to his giant rabbit Harvey and hunting Sasquatch.  With the Marlins’ discovery of Leo the Lyin’, he was put on the restricted list.  One time I was put on a restricted list at a nightclub because I had a few too many tequila shots, danced with someone’s girlfriend, who I shouldn’t have, and bam! restricted list.  Now I can only hang outside the club and get handed flyers promoting other clubs that I don’t want to go to.  Though I can sneak back in that club occasionally.  Just need to feather my hair a little more bouncy.  I wonder if the same holds true for Nunez.  Show up in a pencil-thin mustache like Spike, Snoopy’s very un-PC Mexican brother, and pitch the ninth.  Either way, I feel for you, Nunez.  We are sympatico!  While the Marlins and Nunez try to come to terms with who he is, Steve Cishek and Edward Mujica will get saves.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Casper Wells – Shut down for the year because of his sinuses.  Same thing used to sideline Felix Unger.

CC Sabathia – Won’t pitch again in the regular season. The newest Biggest Loser started this week too.  Hmm… Coincidence?

Stephen Strasburg – Will pitch the last regular season game.  It’s not a home game and it would be on four days rest, so I’m not sure I understand it.  Maybe the Nats just really like having Livan as their ace and don’t know how else to make that happen.

Brad Peacock – 5 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 2 Ks.  I’m starting to get pretty excited about this young pitcher.  His recent K-rate in the minors was a thing of beauty and walk rate wasn’t too shabby at all.  Wouldn’t be surprised to see the Nats let him start the year in the minors, but should be up fairly quickly.  Am I weird for getting excited about the 2012 baseball season already?

Kevin Gregg – Got the save yesterday because Johnson pitched the last three days.  Vegas should take odds on whether or not Kevin Gregg will have a closer job next year.  At the right odds, I say he will.  I wouldn’t put anything past some teams.  I mean, how much is Barry Zito owed?  Any the hoo!  Gregg’s not the closer right now, Johnson is.

Adam Jones – 2-for-4 with the slam & legs.  He’s been pretty terrible recently, so I was about to write how he’s really taken a dive after the All-Star Break, but turns out that was confirmation bias.  He hasn’t been good in September, but his post-All-Star Break numbers aren’t bad.

Phil Humber – 6 IP, 7 ER, 10 baserunners, 4 Ks.  Ozzie tweeted that Humber was leaving too much of his puta over the plate.

Jason Kipnis – Hit his 7th homer of the year yesterday and he’s hitting .333 over the last week.  Kipnis is locked in, like kishka in derma.

Asdrubal Cabrera – 3-for-5, 5 RBIs and his 25th homer.  Guess he wasn’t done for the year.  *dodging tomatoes*

Jeanmar Gomez – 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks.  He’s been excellent since August 30th.  He was on yesterday’s borderline starter post, so, yeah, grab him for his last start of the year.

Jemile Weeks – 3-for-3 with a homer, and 5 for his last 7.  As I tell my girlfriends, you have to ignore the sample size.

Trevor Cahill – 6 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 11 baserunners, 1 K.  At 4.31 ERA, 1.40 WHIP and 11 wins on the year.  He had a pretty unremarkable season as I thought he would so you would think I’d be happy.  I am.  Schadenfreude!

Blake Beavan – 7 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks.  Yesterday, we were updating the website again.  (I know, sigh.  If anyone’s having a hard time seeing this post, tell me in the comments, but I imagine you won’t see it to tell me.  Double sigh.)  Anyway, I bring this up because I was tied up and wasn’t able to watch the Beavan/Swarzak, M’s vs. Twins match-up.  Maybe I’ll catch it on ESPN Classic.

Justin Smoak – 3-for-4, 1 RBI.  He was supposed to be out for the year, but as we know, supposing makes a supp out of sing… Wait, what?

Dustin Ackley – 2-for-4 with his 6th steal.  Some rookies know how to finish and not hurt their fingers.  Brett Lawrie, “Doode, that hurts.”

Ben Revere – 2-for-4, hitting everything like it’s a pancake and he’s Mrs. Butterworth.  Hey, it’s September, I’ve used a lot of my better metaphors.  Revere will be in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell, the last one of the year.  That’s sad.  I might need a hug.  Or I might need to bail October Grey out of jail so he can grab the reins.

Matt Kemp – 4-for-5, 3 runs, 2 RBIs and his 36th homer.  Started strong, finishing strong.  Can we say lurve?

Eric Thames – 2-for-6 with his 2nd homer in as many games.  I’d say he’s gonna be in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell, but that would be a lie.  I’m no liar.  Maybe a fibber from time to time.  Thames could be a Buy though, if you need power.

Allen Craig – 2-for-4 with his 9th homer.  Now has 3 homers in the last 5 games.  As if that wasn’t enough, he looks like the little kid from that Brooklyn Bridge show from a while back.

Matt Moore – 5 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 11 Ks.  Wow.  Wait, what?  Oh, wow.  In Yankee Stadium.  As in eleven eleven Ks?  Wow.   Sure, it was against the Yankees B lineup, but wow.  Since you’re gonna ask, I think he’ll start the year in the minors and be a June call-up.  Game changing in June of 2012?  After what I saw yesterday, yeah, I believe he can be.

Manny Ramirez – Said he will serve his suspension and play next year.  Manny has officially entered Charlie Sheen territory.  Next stop, Diane Sawyer interview, cryptic messages over Twitter and Ashton Kutcher playing in the Rays outfield.

  1. Steve says:

    I might be blinded by my love for him (stop trying to unlock the door, Rihanna – he’s mine!), but I think you have to give Kemp some respect for continuing to play so strong, in front of f***-all people, with less than a week to go in a season that has long since been a pile of rubble.

  2. Thorbs says:

    Grey, do you think Cahill bounces back to a mid-3s ERA and 1.25ish WHIP next year? Or is this as good as it gets?

  3. chata says:

    “Turns out Leo Nunez isn’t exactly who he said he was.”
    looks as if you and nunez have a bit in common …. ….. except you’re not latin , and well past 29 .

    any-the-hoo , the WORK that you do here is astounding .
    with your marathon coming to a close , i’m compelled to admit that trying to keep up with summertime Grey just runs me ragged .
    the only person that i know that gets more letters than you is santa claus ,
    and he doesn’t do fantasy baseball … so there’s that .

    winter Grey (which may or may not sound like some sort of military uniform) better suits my preferences , but this is a h2h question that
    can’t wait , due to it being of the keeper variety :
    “why am i messing around keeping david wright , when i have
    brett lawrie on my roster ?”

    am i missing something here ??
    how are you ranking these 3rd basemen going in to the 2012 season ???

    thanking you , in advance .

  4. C.O.C. says:

    So I’m in the finals and started Lawrie, whom I am now without for the last week, and Sandoval. What is the likelyhood that I lose Pablo the instant the Giants are eliminated because they shut him down to have surgery early or just because he is limited right now? It would REALLY blow to know I have Kipnis on my bench but am locked in to a lineup that is minus two players for most of the scoring period….ARRRGH!!!

  5. Whiksey Diet says:

    Damn, Grey,

    Nothing else to say but great turnaround. Took you no time to update and it’s a pleasure to read as always.

    I’m stuck in 3 H2H playoff leagues battling luck and the twisted demons of fate.

    Thanks for sticking with us through the dog days.

  6. Grey — In desperate need of Ws and counting stats for pitchers. Which of these doods is worth considering as streamers in a 20-team roto format?

    The candidates:

    KC Teaford (who?) @CHW/Danks (the Sox hit LHP well but Teaford’s done well so far)
    COL Hammel @HOU/Happ (his record against HOU is strong)
    HOU Happ vs. COL/Hammel (in case the above option doesn’t do anything for you)

  7. Also, re: Asdrubal. What takes precedence, the fact that the guy’s 11 for his last 22 with three dingers? Or that he’s 1-for-23 lifetime against Pavano, who he faces tonight?

    My backup SS is a less-hot Alcides Escobar, who is nonetheless hitting .400 against Zach Stewart.

  8. Oilcan Giuseppe says:

    desperate for saves right now….Holland or Cishek?

    also,Motte wont be getting any more save chances,will he?

  9. The Ghost of Doc Ellis says:

    Dearest Grey,
    I wanted to thank you for another wonderful/bizzaro Razzball Season. I’m currently winning my H2H thanks in large part to your Mustachioed Wisdom. I’d like to humbly offer up a term for The Glossary:
    Rookie Nookie: It’s the “Summer Lovin'” for the Fantasy Baseball set. Nothing serious, just a crush on the new kid you met at Summer Camp. It’s cute and cuddly but as soon as the numbers start to fall off you drop him without a second thought.
    Mine, this year, was Freddie Freeman. Man, what we had was super special. I even started him in place of M Cab a couple of times. But as the Summer wore on I realized I needed something a little more serious. No hard feelings; just the occasional, “Wonder what, he’s doin’ now?”
    Thanks again, sir, I plan on Downloading your book for my Winter Reading Schedule.

  10. Hank says:

    do you expect Moore to get another start this year?


  11. Harpua says:

    Since you asked —

    Not sure if anyone mentioned this before, but I have a tough time reading Razzball on my iPhone, the page opens, but then closes and it has to be reopened a couple of times before I can get through your whole column.

    Makes the drivers in the cars behind me really mad.

  12. Mr2Bits says:

    Grey : Im showing LeBlanc and not Harrang going against los doyaars today!

  13. Mr2Bits says:

    Shit, wrong article……meant this for the rest of the way starters

  14. Eddy says:

    With the Dodgers possibly having the NL MVP and Cy Young on their team, it got me wondering: will the Dodgers be the first to win both awards NOT make the playoffs?

    Well, I was right. Sort of.

    In 1962 Don Drysdale won the Cy Young and Maury Wills won the MVP but the Giants represented the NL in the post season that year.

    Crazy ish.

  15. Big Mike says:

    Odds of complete rainouts (not delays) at Pirates PNC, Nationals Park, Mets Citi Field, and Yankee Stadium today?

  16. OaktownSteve says:

    I’ve never been on the restricted list, but I have spent some time on the PUP list.

    @Thorbs: I think about Cahill a lot in a non-gay way. If he cannot command the two seam fastball, this will be as good as it gets. It’s interesting in that there are a few guys with that same power sinker (Ubaldo, Fausto, Dan Bard for sure) that have some success until the league basically starts taking a lot of pitches. My theory is that those pitches have so much movement through the zone that they don’t get the strikes called that other pitchers with less movement get. It’s really tough for a catcher to frame that thing that exploding like that. So I think Cahill will be worth watching next year. But then I cannot be trusted on A’s things (blinded by devotion)

  17. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:

    I told you, the man is on a mission to QuaDrubal your HR projections for him. He takes that shizz personally.

    All joking aside, without Googling it (yeah, I’m feeling that lazy today), didn’t Tejada admit to the same thing as Nunez a few years back? The lying about his age part… not the using a fake name part. So why is Nunez shut down for the year while Tejada (from what I recall) got a finger wag?

  18. OaktownSteve says:

    @Awesomus: I would imagine lying about age is a club issue but working under an alias is a green card issue.

  19. airweino says:

    Looking to make a prospect pick-up in a dynasty league.

    How would you rank these options:
    Jesse Biddle
    Jeurys Familia
    Phillipe Aumont
    Taylor Lindsay
    Rymer Liriano
    Eddie Rosario

  20. Chris says:

    “*dodging tomatoes*”

    earned a true lol…

  21. airweino says:

    Also, what is the take on Blake Beaven’s long-term value? Is he for real despite the lack of K’s?

  22. airweino says:

    @Grey: Thanks. Its a pretty deep minor league system in the league….poor Beavan…he has value to someone in his life…have you used a Beavan and Butthead reference with him yet?

  23. airweino says:

    @Grey: I agree on Beavan, just making sure I was not missing something…by the way, I love what you do here – some of the funniest comments I have ever seen!

  24. airweino says:

    Are Pat Corbin or Nestor Molina better options that Aumont? They might be a bit closer to contributing…

Comments are closed.