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For these pitcher pairings, I’m going to be using our (my) 2016 fantasy baseball rankings.  Notably, the top 20 starters for 2016 fantasy baseball, top 40 starters for 2016, top 60 starters for 2016 and the top 80 starters for 2016.  You can also just go to our Fantasy Baseball War Room.  Okay, formalities out of the way.  *rolls up sleeves, makes farting noise with hand under armpit, rolls down sleeve*   Let’s get busy!  Now, what is a pitcher pairing?  It’s your plan for putting together a fantasy staff.  A course of action.  If you have A pitcher, which B, C, D, E and F pitcher goes with him?  Which is different than ‘F this pitcher,’ that’s what you say in May.  You should have six starters.  The sixth starter is Aaron Sanchez or take whoever you want.  I suggest an upside pick.  Sanchez comes to mind.  Or Vincent Velasquez.  Daniel Norris also comes to mind.  I’m going to assume you’re in a 12 team, 5×5 and some variation of 9 pitcher leagues like the Razzball Commenter Leagues.  Speaking of which, the RCL league signups began on Monday, go sign up for a league. (NOTE: What you are about to read is massively confusing.  If it were found scribbled in a notebook, the FBI would be watching me.  If Charles Manson stood up and read this at the next prison Meet N’ Greet, no one would blink an eye.)  Anyway, here’s pitcher pairings for pitching staffs for 2016 fantasy baseball drafts:

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By the title, I’m referring to the return of the Fantasy Baseball War Room.  I’m not saying the Fantasy Baseball War Room is back, as in, is a butt.  So, if Sir Mix-A-Lot is reading, I’m truly sorry for the confusion.  Our Fantasy Baseball War Room is one part draft tool, one part fantasy team evaluator, one part fantasy junkie’s s’s and g’s tool, one part holy, two parts smokes, three parts… How many parts is that so far?  Cause it’s only really seven parts total.  I think there’s one part kill-your-day-with-this-war-room-thing-a-maboob in there too.  After you’re done signing up for a Razzball Commenter League (oh, just sign up already!), this is the next step.  Practice with building a team.

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Happy Presidents Day, or as it will be known next year, King Trump Day.  Since you’ve got the day off from that job you tell your wife you’re going to every day only to sit in the car beneath an underpass where they filmed 97% of last year’s True Detective, why not get your fantasy on?  Not your fantasy where it’s you and that girl from high school in a tub of Alphabet Soup!  That fantasy baseball fantasy!  Because you know what would be really cool?  If you could join a fantasy baseball league that was against, like, 1000 other fantasy baseball teams. But not a 1000-person league, where people are trying to figure out who the back-up third baseman is on the Single-A Astros affiliate, the Corpus Christi Amscrayers.  No, this is a 12-person league designed so you compete against eleven other people in your league, then 90 other leagues of twelve.  That would be cool.  Oh, wait, we’ve done that.  It’s called the Razzball Commenter Leagues, and they’re back, and you don’t even have to be a commenter to join it!  For a limited time only, get your loved one a fantasy baseball league!  That’s right, your hearts go pitter-patter or you’re dead on the inside (my condolences).  Since back in June when you abandoned your fantasy baseball team because it was totally sucking and you returned to your cubbyhole of leftover Chinese food and Teddy Grahams, you’ve longed for this day.  As Bob Marley sang, this is your redemption song, mon.  Or womon, for our five girl readers.  It’s time again to join some fantasy baseball leagues. Before you close all of your extraneous porn windows and rush to sign up, let’s explain how these fantasy baseball leagues are going to work.  We’re going to have a bunch of leagues and crown a winner from each, then we’re going to crown ONE winner from all of the winners.  We will be crowning the winner by taking each team’s points and multiplying it against a ‘league competitiveness factor.’  If you want to see how it worked last year, go here.  (You’ll see a name up there that you might recognize as the eighth best — ME!)  So we’re going to fill up as many fantasy leagues as we can for the next seven weeks.  Each fantasy baseball league will be a mixed league, 12 team, snake draft, roto, 5×5, 5 OFs, one Middle Infielder, one Corner Infielder, one Utility, 9 pitchers, 20 game eligibility, 180 Games Started max, 1000 IP minimum. Like last year, we will again be going with TWO DL SLOTS. The only things you need to change from the default settings is the 180 Games Started and the TWO DL SLOTS.  Please be vigilant about having the exact same league rules and setup as everyone else. The lineup is also known as:  C/1B/2B/SS/3B/CI/MI/5 OF/UTIL/9 P/3 BENCH/2 DL with 180 Games Started and 1000 IP minimum.  The fantasy leagues will be played in ESPN and they will be free to join.

We’re going to start with twenty leagues of 12 and see how we do from there. To join a league… Sorry, again for the people in the back of the room:

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A mere year ago this was a top 400 for fantasy baseball.  A mere few years ago before those years ago, this was a top 300 for fantasy baseball.  Before that, it was 16 AD and I was rolling with Jesus to this deli that had great matzoh ball soup.  In a few years from now, this is going to be a top 10,000 and I’m going to be ranking Mike Trout Jr. Jr. Jr. the 15th. Today, in this year, sixteen after twenty, comes the top 500 for 2016 fantasy baseball.  Flippin’, right?  Or as I like to call it, from Mike Trout A to chimpanzee.  Actually, I don’t like to call it that.  So, this post isn’t meant to send shockwaves through your system.  The pipe cleaner that the doctor uses to get the clogged Cheeto out of your artery is meant for that.  This is simply to give you an idea of where guys are ranked in relation to other positions.  I.e., you know I like Jean Segura better than Ketel Marte, according to the top 20 shortstops, but do I like Segura better than Lucas Duda?  Okay, it’s not that simply.  You’ll notice towards the last top hundred there’s a ton of pitchers clumped together and a ton of outfielders.  I might be the only fantasy baseball ‘pert to tell you this, but it doesn’t matter where, say, Yangervis Solarte is ranked vs. Rick Porcello.  If you need a pitcher, Solarte isn’t going to help you.  He can be ranked 75 spots in front of Porcello and it doesn’t matter.  That’s why I have the 2016 fantasy baseball rankings broken down by positions.  If you need a 2nd baseman, where Scooter Gennett is vs. Kolten Wong matters, but where Scooter vs. Jay Bruce really doesn’t matter.  Also, there’s no comments about players, which you really should know prior to drafting.  In other words, Mark Trumbo might be in the early 100s overall, but am I drafting him?  Well, you’d know if you read the top 20 1st basemen.  There’s also a top 100 for 2016 fantasy baseball to help you.  Along shortly will be a Fantasy Baseball War Room and a pitchers pairing tool.  Anyway, here’s the top 500 for 2016 fantasy baseball:

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One word about this top 100 for 2016 fantasy baseball, before I give you another 5,000 words.  I’m going to avoid repeating myself from the position rankings in the 2016 fantasy baseball rankings.  If you want to know my in-depth feelings about a player, then you need to go to his positional page, i.e., the top 20 1st basemen for 2016 fantasy baseball, the top 20 2nd basemen for 2016 fantasy baseball, the top 20 Gucci handbags for 2016– Ah, I almost got you.  This post is meant to give you an idea where guys from different positions are in relation to each other.  Since this post is only the top 100, there’s more players where this came from.  400 or so, to be inexact.  Next up, there will be a top 500.  Then after that there will be a top 7,500, then a top 25,000, then a top 600,000, until we end up with a top kajillion in April.  Or maybe I’ll stop at the top 500.  Yeah, that makes sense.  Not to get all biblical on you, but this is the gospel.  Print it out and take it to Mt. Sinai and it will say, “Win your 2016 fantasy baseball league, young prematurely balding man.”  Projections were done by me and a crack team of 100 monkeys fighting amongst themselves because there were only 99 typewriters.  Somebody please buy Ling-Ling his own typewriter!  Anyway, here’s the top 100 for 2016 fantasy baseball:

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If I told you this post ends our position 2016 fantasy baseball rankings, would you believe me?  What if I told you it while holding your mom’s hand while calling you son, would you believe it more or less?  Man, you got issues!  So, yes, this is the end of our positional rankings, but I’ll be along tomorrow with a top 100 and then a top 500.  That’s right, 500!  Like a baller!  There’s also our Steamer projections for all hitters and pitchers.  All of the fantasy baseball auction values are also up for over 1500 players.  There’s a ton of different formats located there too, like the 5×5 OBP rankings, 6×6 OBP rankings, 6×6 Holds and a ton more.  All of my 2016 fantasy baseball rankings are there.  My tiers and projections are noted in this post.  Anyway, here’s the top 100 starters for 2016 fantasy baseball:

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With the top 80 starters for 2016 fantasy baseball, we are so close to the end of the rankings I can almost taste it!  Wait, that’s not rankings I taste, I bit my lip and it’s blood.  I wonder if when Dracula bites his lip it’s like when Cougs goes out with her friends and I’m left at home while Emmanuelle is on Cinemax.  You might say to yourself, “Self, everyone is totally fooled by my toupee and do I really need to draft starters this deep in my friendly 12-team mixed league?”  You don’t, except you will own guys from this post this year either from the draft or from waivers or your leaguemates will own them and beat you.  Last year, in the tier of pitchers I liked in the top 80 starters was Wacha, Carlos Martinez and Heaney.  They had an ERA of 3.26 in 467 IP.  You put three guys like that together with, say, Kluber and Rodon and you have all the pitching you need.  Or team three starters like that with Hamels and Corbin or Ventura and Lester.  I’ll go over exactly how to draft starters in a few days, but there are so many ways to skin a cat we should have PETA breathing down our necks.  All the 2016 fantasy baseball rankings are there.  My tiers and projections are noted.  Anyway, here’s the top 80 starters for 2016 fantasy baseball:

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This is another ridunkly long post, I’m just going to cut to the chase, like the city of LA going after OJ.  Ah, whatever’s old is new again.  Except, oddly enough, the phrase “whatever’s old is new again” is just old.  The number one thing I’ve learned from watching the OJ TV show?  Marcia Clark perm’d her hair.  She chose to look like that!  Oh, 1990s, you were a glorious time of an irrational fear of STDs and women wearing large bulky sweaters.  All of my 2016 fantasy baseball rankings are there.  As with the other posts, my projections and tiers are noted for every player.  Anyway, here’s the top 60 starters for 2016 fantasy baseball:

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The 2016 fantasy baseball rankings are under that link.  Why are you lifting your computer?  Not literally under that link!  Okay, you’re thick like a CVS receipt folded in half twelve times.  In years past, the top 40 starters is a mix of guys I like and don’t like.  Like a high cholesterol cow, it’s about half and half.  This year, I really had to struggle to find guys that I didn’t want to draft in the top 40 starters.  There are four starters I wouldn’t draft in this top 40.  Four!  In the top 20 outfielders, I kept going back to how there was about eighty outfielders I would draft.  Here, it’s kinda different.  I don’t want to draft so many starters, but there’s a crapton of decent ones.  As with past rankings, my tiers and projections are included for the low, low price of $19.99!  Kidding, they’re free.  The oxygen you need to live while reading them is gonna cost you though.  Anyway, here’s the top 40 starters for 2016 fantasy baseball:

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The royal we already went over all the hitters for 2016 fantasy baseball rankings.  That’s not the “royal we” as that term usually implies.  It was me writing it alone while wearing a Burger King crown.  I refuse to draft a top starter where they are usually drafted.  Unlike hitters, you need six starters, depending on your league depth.  Simple math tells us there’s plenty of starters to go around.  Simple Math also says, “Stop putting words in my mouth!”  In most leagues, there’s a ton of pitchers on waivers that can help you — all year.  Not just in April, and then they disappear.  With the help of the Stream-o-Nator, you can get by with, say, three starters while streaming the rest.  To read more about streaming as a draft strategy.  There’s also the fact that three stats by starters are difficult to predict due to luck.  Wins, ERA and WHIP are prone to shift due to which way the ball bounces and whether or not the guys behind the pitchers can score runs.  Finally, the best starters can give you four categories.  The best hitters can give you five categories.  As always, where I see tiers starting and stopping are included and my projections.  Also, Rudy’s released his Steamer Projections with auction values.  Here’s the Steamer Hitter Projections, the Steamer Pitcher Projections and the fantasy baseball auction values for every conceivable league.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 starters for 2016 fantasy baseball:

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Here’s a post I haven’t done in some time.  I stopped doing the top 5 designated hitters a few years ago because there was only one guy, Papi Grande, that was only eligible at DH that was worth discussing.  Then last year happened, and Ron Blomberg finally had something to talk about again at the bingo hall.  “If you wanna sit by your bingo cards while I come in and hit them with the marker for you, I can do that.”  That’s Blomberg keeping his DH muscles on the ready.  All of the 2016 fantasy baseball rankings are under that rather self-explanatory link.  As with all other posts, I say when tiers start and stop and give you my projections.  If you want, here’s the 2016 position eligibility chart that doesn’t contain any of the guys in this post.  Anyway, here’s the top 5 designated hitters for 2016 fantasy baseball:

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We are so close to the top 20 starters you can almost taste it, and it tastes like limoncello.  I wonder why that is.  From the top 20 outfielders through to this top 100 outfielders for 2016 fantasy baseball has been like the greatest mini-series ever.  Sorta like what I hope the O.J. Simpson show is.  By the way, don’t Google O.J. Simpson, major spoilers!  In most fantasy leagues, you won’t need to draft guys from this top 100 outfielders, and they’ll be waiver wire pickups.  A few of these guys will be drafted by people saying things like, “I’m really loving (fill-in name from this post) as a late sleeper,” then those same people will get to the middle of April and be saying things like, “I can drop (fill-in player’s name), right?”  As with other rankings posts, I go over where tiers start and stop and my projections.  Anyway, here’s the top 100 outfielders for 2016 fantasy baseball:

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