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Grey

Ohtani’s UCL & Every Baseball Fan Are Tearing Up

August 25, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 101 Comments

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Don’t want to be Mr. Downer when we get awful news like this, but I don’t understand how anyone’s body could hold together playing every day as a hitter, then through 97 MPH fresh-to-deffers every sixth day. For three years, he made us believe, and I know we all want to be little Peter Pans, but it’s just not possible. Shohei Ohtani did the impossible for longer than I would’ve expected from anyone. He did the impossible longer than Tom Cruise. Ohtani won’t be pitching again for the foreseeable future and I’d guess he’ll need Tommy John surgery (again, he had it in 2018). The one thing that places some leafs on the ground as I fall backwards into a heap to sob, he’s a top two hitter on the Player Rater, and that’s not going anywhere. I can do a prayer hexagon to make sure of it. What? Why are you screaming? It’ll be fine! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Ragans Just Say No To The A’s Bats

August 24, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 195 Comments

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Someone who liked Friday Night Lights but can’t properly recall their favorite character says, “I’m a  Cole Ragans fan.” Well, me too! Ragans learned an all-important lesson: If you don’t let runners on, they can’t trickle down into runs. There’s no crack of the bat epidemic following this Ragans around! Cole R. sinks the A’s! Wait, that’s a pun about home appliances not the late-President. Ragans supplies “retire the side” economics! Better! So, Cole Ragans (6 IP, 0 ER, 2 hits, zero walks, 11 Ks, ERA at 3.66) threw another great start yesterday. Easy matchup, but he’s been a revelation. He’s why you don’t pay for starters ever, in redraft or dynasty. They come out of nowhere or the good ones just aren’t that good. He’s added four miles per hour (FOUR!) on his fastball, and added a slider that has a .155 xBAA or .208 actual. He already had a change that no one could hit. He now has four pitches, and three great ones (the cutter is iffy). This Ragans should get you aroused without sitting on your lap calling you Mr. T. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Basabe Finds The Promised Land While Franco Wanders In The Desert

August 23, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 122 Comments

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Yesterday, Wander Franco was placed on administrative leave until further notice as MLB continues its ongoing investigation. So, what does this mean? It means he should step into a rocket, aim it at the sun, and we should press “launch.” He could come back in September or not at all. My guess is he’s at least done for this season. Hoping his name is cleared and he returns, because, in that scenario, no children were harmed. Reading the tea leaves, it does not feel like that scenario is the most likely one. It feels like Wander’s not coming back any time soon, if ever again, as the Rays took down all signs of him from around their park. That’s right, the Rays ‘Poochie died on the way back to his home planet’d him. Because the Rays have a never-ending supply of top prospects, the turnstile, uh, turned and entered Osleivis Basabe going 2-for-5, 2 runs, 4 RBIs and his 1st homer. I can spell just about every name without blinking. Put me in an MLB spelling bee and watch me walk away victorious. With that said, I might have to make an auto-fill for the name Osleivis Basabe. If you can get through Osleivis, then you have to fight the urge to write Baseball. He now should have everyday playing time and I’m interested in seeing what he can do. When he came up, there was talk Osleivis could be a Luis Arraez with speed. Call him Luis ThesceneinBoogieNightswithfirecrackers. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Padres Plead Temporary Kimsanity

August 22, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 166 Comments

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Yesterday, Ha-Seong Kim went 2-for-4, 2 runs, 4 RBIs with a slam (17) and legs (28). And. Dot dot dot. Holy crap! Kim’s going 20/30 this year? When did this happen? I just checked five different stats providers. Is that *pauses for drama* for real for real? Ha-Seong, or Ha if you’re laughing, is a top 40 overall guy on the Player Rater? What on earth is going on here? He’s been more valuable than Randy Arozarena and Rafael Devers? I am cackling very loudly. Maybe it’s because his homers are a little light, but I usually stay on top of what everyone is doing even if I don’t roster them, and, in case if it’s not obvious, I don’t roster Kim. He’s been a top five 2nd baseman, right by Justin Turner. What world is this? I am flabbergasted. Eminem was all wrong, Kim’s awesome. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Noelvi’s Entered The Building

August 21, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 222 Comments

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Right now, it’s Saturday in Los Angeles, and there’s reports that a hurricane could be hitting the region for the first time in 70-something years. So, I am preparing as anyone from SoCal would prepare — I’m wearing a pussy hat and an altered 2016 campaign shirt that reads I’m With Herricane, while stockpiling avocado toast. If I don’t have electricity on Sunday, just know that I wrote this on Saturday and am scheduling it now. I can guess what Sunday will bring though: Wow, I can’t believe CJ Abrams stole 17 bags on Sunday and Kerry Carpenter hit five homers. Sorry Mark Whiten, but you are no longer the King! What a great Friday Buy by (stutterer!) me! Also, on Saturday, word came down that Noelvi Marte was being promoted. Maybe it’s because I’m staring down death with a hurricane that could bring 2-3 (!) inches of rain, but I’m getting choked up at how awesome some of these Reds’ prospects are, and what that means for the future. “I love this crap!” That’s me auditioning for a new MLB commercial and getting the lines wrong. Any hoo! Noelvi Marte is being called up to play where? Yes, for this year, I’m about to exercise caution. His speed, contact and power is going to make him a fantasy star at some point, but he might not have everyday playing time. He was in the Itch’s Top 50 fantasy baseball prospects, and he was right behind E! in the Reds’ prospects top 10, prior to the season. Itch said, “Marte checks in at 6’1” 181 lbs but seems to be filling out in a hurry, just to the eye test. Next time we get a fresh weigh in, he might clear two bills. The power is plus-plus, and he controls the strike zone well for someone his age and level, posting a 13.5-to-18.3 percent walk-to-strikeout rate in 30 games for the High-A Reds. He’d posted a 10.7-to-21.3 percent rate in 85 games for Seattle before coming over in the Luis Castillo trade. Could be a sign he’s on an upward trajectory in that area, and he’s got the talent to sort of choose the type of hitter he wants to be. His big leg kick is changing shape here and there over the years as he navigates that path, and I’d like to bury Grey under the path.” Yikes, what the heck? So, I grabbed Noelvi everywhere in case the Reds figure out playing time for him — yesterday, he played 3rd — but I could see dropping him in shallower leagues if the ABs aren’t there. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Buy Some Kerry C To Fuel A Pennant Run

August 18, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell, Featured | 168 Comments

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The Tigers’ lineup reminds me of a streaming show that’s supposed to be better, and you see flashes of why it’s supposed to be better. “Idris Elba is so good in The Wire, he’s gotta be better than this show on the airplane. Hijack? More like Goodbye, Jack. Then again, Idris Elba hasn’t been good since The Wire. Maybe it was The Wire that made him good, and Stringer Bell was such an iconic charac–Hold up, this airplane show is good when it’s not on the airplane.” That’s the Tigers’ lineup. Akil Baddoo? I was told he’s good. Spencer Torkelson? I was told he’s a big-time prospect. Riley Greene? Well, I’m still waiting to see his Stringer Bell role. Matt Vierling? He’s a 4th outfielder hitting third? Zack Short? Well, I was never told he was good. Hijack is better than saying “Hi, Zack” for your fantasy team. Javier Baez? Well, Zack Short at least has going for him that he’s named after the position. Javier Baez should be named Javier Swinging-At-A-Slider-In-The-Dirt. Wait, there’s that one part that is very interesting — Kerry Carpenter! He looks good, and not “Tigers good.” His strikeout rate and BABIP reenforce his batting average, which is solid. His power? Absolutely real. He had 22 HRs in 63 games in Double-A, eight homers in 35 games in Triple-A. That’s real power. When he hits the ball, it’s going for a homer, and the announcer can say, “Hi, jack.” (Was that whole thing just for that ending? Who’s to say?) Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Mariners Call 545-JROD

August 18, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 153 Comments

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Julio Rodriguez is effervescent. Julio Rodriguez is a can of seltzer that is baseball-flavored. Like Home Depot, he’s got electric tools. Figured go with the dad metaphor vs. like a raver with a glow stick down their pants, he’s got electric tools. It stinks he’s behind the West Coast PST iron curtain. Everyone sees the East Coast games, and West Coast games are only usually seen by the West Coast, as most are asleep on the East Coast. Don’t even get me started with the PST bias. “Hey, are you around at 9 AM for a call?” “Sure.” Then invariably you get woken at 6 AM. “Oh, I figured you knew it was EST.” EST was a cult showcased in The Americans, and is a cult for everyone who thinks there’s only one time zone. Screw your time zones! Wow, that went far afield of Julio Rodriguez. Okay, bringing it back: He went 5-for-5 with 5 RBIs and his 20th homer. He’s hitting .269, and he was a triple short of the cycle. Speaking of short, it was a short schedule yesterday: Julio Rodriguez for 2024 fantasy? Where does he go? He won’t go as high again as this year, and that will make him a steal wherever it is. Speaking of steals, he was caught for the ninth time yesterday and picked off. Usually I ignore that, but I wonder if the Mariners might curb his enthusiasm. Either way, he’s pretttttttay, pretttttttay good. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

C’mon That’s Reidiculous

August 17, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 168 Comments

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Reid Detmers (7 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 4 BBs, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.93) had a no-hitter finishing up the 7th inning at 104 pitches. Then, during the commercial break, he went into the dugout, with a notary public and wrote, “I, Reid Detmers, of sound mind and body, hereby bequeath my shoulder to science, so Phil Nevin will let me throw a 200-pitch no hitter, and I ask that it be called The Last Voyage of Detmers after that weird-looking vampire on a boat movie that is getting terrible reviews.” With that, the notary stamped it, and it was official forever. By the way, you ever walk into a notary and ask them to notarize something and they’re like, “This paper says you’re ruler of the U.S. and China. I can’t notarize this,” and you say, “Don’t make me go to war with your notary store.” No? Meh, guess it’s me! So, Reid Detmers either throws a gem or a dud. While he almost threw a no-no, he knows no in-between. He allowed 29 runs over his last 25 1/3 innings. Then, this. His peripherals look great, like he could be a 2024 fantasy beast, but I also don’t even know what we’re getting from him in his next start. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Seattle’s Overcast Bats Enjoy Some KC & The Sunshine Staff

August 16, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 168 Comments

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Teoscar Hernandez (5-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 18th homer) hasn’t been that bad this year, right? *checks the Player Rater* Oh, he’s like at 40th overall. That’s not bad at all! 40 what? Haha, 40 ounces, my dude, let’s get that St. Ides! You’re not being distracted by that non sequitur? Okay, 40th *covers mouth so you can’t hear* outfielder. Not bad at all! Around Mike Trout, who’s been out since 2019, and Bryan De Palma Cruz. So, maybe Teoscar hasn’t been great thus far, but he’s one of those guys who could be the best in baseball for the final six weeks. Also, in this game, Eugenio Suarez (1-for-5, 2 runs) who was the last Mariners’ player who I said could be the best player in the 2nd half, and he hasn’t been bad at all (9 HR in roughly 150 ABs). Ty France (4-for-6, 10th homer) even got in on the action, as France hit a French fly saying, “That’s as good as it baguettes!” Finally, Josh Rojas (1-for-4, 2 RBIs) hit his 1st homer. It was a called shot. He called a weak bloop to 2nd, and it went out. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Scherzer Goes Zany To The Max Against The Angels

August 15, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 254 Comments

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Angels are Charlie Brown and the every other team is Lucy pulling away the football. Another Peanuts analogy: Every Angels fan is standing at Lucy, under her sign for Psychiatric Help for five cents stating the Doctor is in, and the Angels fan is telling her how they’ve had arguably two of the best two players ever, and can’t win games. One guy, so good, he’s absurdly a top five hitter and a top ten pitcher, and still nothing. Yesterday, the Angels met reality once again, as a team that was seemingly rebuilding just last year is marching towards the AL West title, and every move they do seems to work. They went out and got a future Hall of Famer, who looked past his sell-by date in Max Scherzer (7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 11 Ks, ERA at 3.67) and he’s rejuvenated looking like vintage Max again. Mean’s while, the Angels threw, Patrick Sandoval and he went 2 2/3 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 4.09, as he ran up to try to kick the football. Anyone got a nickel he can borrow? Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Gelof A-Goes Yard Twice

August 14, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 264 Comments

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Rubbing balloons on my head to get a lot of static on them, then sticking them to my ceiling. Hiring a deejay to play Shakira songs and getting cupcakes prepared, because…? You know why! It’s time for a Star Mitzvah! Zack Gelof went 4-for-5 with two homers (7, 8). That’s in only 25 games! Could Zack Gelof be having his Star Mitzvah? He is Jewish, so there’s a case to made that he’s already had his chair lifted above his uncle’s head, while said uncle was wheezing and out of breath. *looking at Zack Gelof’s stats before writing out the check for $18 for his Star Mitzvah* Oh, hold up. Wow, his numbers are awful. Is that Z-Contact% the worst in the majors if he qualified? A 65% contact rate?! Wait, why is anyone throwing him strikes? Because they don’t know to not throw him strikes, is my guess. Plus, they’re pitching around Gelof for what reason? It’s the A’s. So, Zack Gelof looks like he has good speed and power, but he might struggle to hit .200 once things normalize. Oh, crap, and I already sent invites for Gelof’s star mitzvah. Awkward! Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Go Into Medieval Fight Mode And Buy Masyn Winn

August 11, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell, Featured | 207 Comments

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Can you believe I’m already here talking about September callups? This year flew by. They say the older you get the quicker the years feel. For unstints, every week feels like a year for Masyn Winn at 21 years of age. For me, every year feels like a week. Last week was 2078, and we just discovered that people who like cilantro are aliens. Don’t challenge me on this, I studied the calendar in college. Sorry if you’re one of those that likes cilantro, it is an acquired taste — acquired by aliens. Call your doctor; you have green blood. So, Masyn Winn is almost guaranteed to start next year with the club, that means he will get an offseason rookie outlook post from me and the only question is: Him, Jackson Holliday or a third unknown rookie as the top fantasy rookie for next year? You’ll have to wait until October for that big reveal. You can hardly wait! No, you! For all rookies, it doesn’t hurt to call them up in September to give them a little taste. An amuse bouche of baseball! Masyn Winn is more than ready. He’s about to be a 20/20 guy in Triple-A at the aforementioned 21 years of age. Him or Tatis next year? Okay, still Fun The Jewels, but you see where my hype is going. For this year, I’d grab Winn in all leagues for the inevitable September call-up. Oh, and I know he has a glute issue right now; don’t be a pain in the ass. He’s fine, and will be spectacular soon with the Cards. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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