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Author: Grey

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Grey

Dansby Swanson, 2017 Fantasy Outlook

October 28, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Rookies | 138 Comments

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Here’s what I said when Dansby was first called up, “True or false:  A) Dansby Swanson is famous for being Ted Knight’s caddy in Caddyshack. B) Starting a meme at his frat house in Arizona where he’d put his checkered pants on a cactus with the caption, “I’m thirsty, yo.”  C) There’s no C.  D) All the above.  E) Was drafted a second ago by the Diamondbacks 1st overall, then traded to the Braves for the fellow WASP, Shelby Miller, and all-around terrible pitcher.  If you answered D) All the above, how did you know what all the above was before reading E?  Also, it was a true or false quiz, what the hell is all of the above?!  So, Dansby Swanson is being called up by the Braves just in time, no lie, for their series against the Diamondbacks.  Dayum.  Hello, wounds, here’s your salt.  In Prospector Ralph’s midseason top 100 prospects, Dansby was 22nd overall, right by Willie Calhoun, who totally tanked Mike Dukakis’ campaign.  Swanson is a 22-year-old that was a’ight in Double-A (8 HRs, 6 SBs, .261 in 84 games).”  And that’s me quoting me!  None of that no longer applies.  Kidding!  Imagine I did that shizz.  Here’s what I said previously, read it, then forget it.  Nah, it still applies which is why I quoted it.  I mean the WASP part, Caddyshack part, there’s no C and Dukakis name-drop likely won’t come into play, but the other elements are applicable.  Okay, the other parts are about 5% of the quote I said that was applicable.  Sue me!  Which is also what a male transitioning to a female says, “Sue me!”  Anyway, what can we expect of Dansby Swanson for 2017 fantasy baseball?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Andrew Benintendi, 2017 Fantasy Outlook

October 27, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Rookies | 46 Comments

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It’s like ESPN has taken over Razzball the last few days because it’s all Red Sox and Yankees all the time.  A Yoan Moncada fantasy on Monday, Aaron Judge fantasy on Tuesday and Andrew Benintendi today.  Who’s next?  Tyler Austin?  “Ha, Grey you crack me up with your witticisms and third person ramblings.”  Thanks, Self, but you’re standing on my foot.  “You’re such a klutz!”  Don’t you mean, I’m such a klutz?  “You tell me.”  I legit got a headache during that third person conversation.  No wonder homeless people are always banging their head with their hand.  That shizz is exhausting.  On Monday, Prospector Ralph aka Rappin’ Ralph aka The Ralper aka Red Sox Homer aka Ralph Lifshitz said he’d want Benintendi over Moncada, and I thought that was interesting but didn’t agree.  Benintendi does have a more solid floor — solider?  Benintendi looks less likely to be awful, whereas Moncada does have that possibility.  To use a clumsy comparison of another Cuban player, Yasiel Puig looked can’t miss until he didn’t even start playoff games for Andrew Toles, who was working in a supermarket last year at this time, and Toles over Puig made sense because of how little Puig has done — or is it has-been?  That’s likely people’s fears with Moncada.  Those fears don’t carry as much weight with Benintendi.  Not sure his ceiling is that high either, and, with rookies, I want ceiling over floor.  Anyway, what can we expect of Andrew Benintendi for 2017 fantasy baseball?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Aaron Judge, 2017 Fantasy Outlook

October 25, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Rookies | 156 Comments

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Have you seen Aaron Judge hit?  This is the first thing I say to people.  Shoot, I should qualify that.  This is not the first thing I say to everyone.  “Would you like to hear the specials?”  “Have you seen Aaron Judge hit?”  No.  Not quite like that.  It’s the first thing I say to people who ask me about Aaron Judge.  In fact (Grey’s adding on already?  Well, let’s get it!), I like to watch everyone hit (and pitch, but we’ll get back to that).  I try to watch video of every single player.  It’s not some weird voyeur thing.  Okay, it’s that, but not only that!  If someone’s minor league stats look like, say, .290, 35 HRs and 25 steals, and you watch them and they have a huge hitch in their swing, they don’t look fast and/or they’re a buck-fifty soaking wet, then you have a guy that could very well be hitting and running better against weaker competition than they will find in the majors.  It’s important to watch the players.  I bring this up now because I watch Aaron Judge and I see Giancarlo Stanton.  I do not invoke my novio’s name willy nor nilly.  I don’t say Giancarlo comparisons early nor often.  If you saw Aaron Judge’s first major league home run, it was a simple, back-up-the-middle stroke.  Only the ball went about 420 feet out in center.  Aaron Judge hit only 4 homers last year in 84 ABs in the majors, but three went 419 feet or more and one homer went 457 feet, which was top twenty in the majors last year.  Cause long balls get you excited like an older woman, here is Judge mollywhopping.  If that doesn’t excite you, you have no soul.  I don’t mean you have no soul as in you find it hard to get the rhythm of a song, I mean you are kin to the devil.  Anyway, what can we expect of Aaron Judge for 2017 fantasy baseball?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Yoan Moncada, 2017 Fantasy Outlook

October 24, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Rookies | 119 Comments

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Ayo whaddup, it’s ya boy Grey Albright aka the Fantasy Master Lothario aka White Chocolate aka The Ladder You Use To Reach New Heights aka The God Particle aka Trump’s Supreme Court Nominee Judge Reinhold aka Paid Overtime aka Close Parking Spot When You’re In A Rush aka Al Swearengen’s Swearing Dictionary aka Teacher, We Don’t Need No Education aka The Weird Guy That Latches Onto The Main Character In Oscar Films I Think His Name Is Paul Dano aka The Butcher, The Baker and The Candlestick Maker aka The Stinging On Your Pinkie Toe When You Clip Too Close aka Paul Anka aka Forget How To Spell My Name And Just Get Me My Coffee!  I just spent thirty minutes looking up Mindy Cohn and whether or not she’s a lesbian.  Ah, the offseason.  You are a soothing mistress that touches my naughty bits with idle hands.  She’s apparently not a lesbian, but a confirmed friend of the gays, and she wanted to lose weight in the 80’s, but the producers asked her to avoid it for the character of Natalie.  They finally agreed to let her wear baggy clothes.  No comment, except the “no comment” comment has the weight of a thousand eye rolls.  A quick preamble about the 2017 fantasy baseball rookie series that is coming from me over the next few weeks.  Rookies could get a post if they meet MLB eligibility requirements, less than 130 ABs or 50 IP.  That means no Greg Bird, no Orlando Arcia, no Alex Bregman, and finally no Joey Gallo.  In 2012, the first player I highlighted was Mike Trout.  That wasn’t an accident.  I said in the Mike Trout post, “He’s ranked number one for me. Numero uno. The Big Mahoff.  He’s the big Statue of Liberty in New York, not that girly one in Paris!”  Since then, I’ve attempted to make the first rookie post about a prospect that will be the top rookie for fantasy the following year.  Last year, that honor went to Corey Seager.  Yes, it’s an honor, don’t be so condescending.  This year the top fantasy prospect isn’t no ordinary man, this is the prospect I be seeing in my sleep.  Yoan Moncada will be your number one 2017 fantasy baseball rookie.  Will Moncada be named to the All-Century Team in 85 years or edged out by a robot with grabby hands named the Hitter-Tron that my great-great-nephew will sue due to trademark infringement only to find out it’s the same Hitter-Tron that once graced this little fantasy baseball blog called Razzball?  Can Moncada be a top five 3rd basemen in 2017?  So many questions and so little time to look up Mindy Cohn info!  Anyway, what can we expect of Yoan Moncada for 2017 fantasy baseball?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Top 40 Starters for 2016 Fantasy Baseball, A Recap

October 21, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 99 Comments

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So, how’s everyone holding up without fantasy baseball every day?  I don’t know what to do with myself!  This week I wandered into a Starbucks and told the coffeerista about Aaron Sanchez for 2017.  Then I sobbed into a cheddar scone until someone asked me to leave.  We’ve gone over the final 2016 fantasy baseball rankings for hitters and the top 20 starters.  This is different than Final Fantasy rankings where you rank Final Fantasy 1 thru Final Fantasy 15.  That’s hardcore nerd shizz!  This is simply fantasy baseball, we’re softcore nerds like Emmanuelle.  So, there’s no more of these godforsaken recap posts left.  You’re welcome.  I, my over-the-internet friend, will be talking next about 2017 rookies.  Anyway, here’s the top 40 starters for 2016 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Top 20 Starters for 2016 Fantasy Baseball, A Recap

October 20, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 57 Comments

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All the final 2016 fantasy baseball rankings for hitters are done.  For those that skipped today’s title, this starts the top 20 starters for 2016 fantasy baseball.  This is NOT for 2017 (caps for those who can’t read titles; supposedly it’s easier to read caps, I have my doubts).  This is a recap.  Will these affect next year’s rankings?  Sure.  But not entirely.  To recapitulate, these rankings are from our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater.  We’re (me’re) using it to fairly gauge our (my) preseason rankings.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 starters for 2016 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Top 40 Outfielders, 2016 Fantasy Baseball, A Recap

October 18, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 132 Comments

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With the top 40 outfielders for 2016 fantasy baseball, we’ve finished all the hitter recaps.  We meaning me, but I’ll include you.  No, that’s not a cue to try to hold my hand.  Why are you now patting my butt?  Don’t muss my hair!  The pitching recap will begin next.  You can hardly wait.  No, you!  To recap, the end of the season rankings are based on our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater.  I felt the easiest way to keep it objective would to go this route.  This way when I say someone finished 30th and I ranked them 23rd in the preseason, it carries more weight like a non-vegan Bill Clinton.  Anyway, here’s the top 40 outfielders for 2016 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Top 20 Outfielders for 2016 Fantasy Baseball, A Recap

October 17, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 89 Comments

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Went over the catchers, 1st basemen, 2nd basemen and shortstops and top 20 3rd basemen for 2016 fantasy baseball.  Guess what’s next!  No, not pitchers. Read the title, man.  In 2010, there were only 5 outfielders that hit 30 homers, in 2011 there were 9, 14 in 2012, in 2013 there were 3, a small bounce back with 6 in 2014 and last year there were eight.  This year:  less than you likely think.  The infield had a ton of homers.  Outfield was decent, solid, thesaurus word.  Was it the best home run count since 2010?  No, actually, it wasn’t.  It was the 2nd best.  11 outfielders hit 30 homers.  If you were to include outfielders that hit 29 homers, that shoots up to 15.  Also, there were 35 outfielders who hit 20 homers; last year, there was 24.  As for steals, there were 14 outfielders who stole 30 bases in 2012, 10 in 2013, 11 in 2014, and only five outfielders who stole 30 bases (only seven players total) last year.  This year:  seven outfielders stole 30 and 14 overall.  Hello, offense, my old friend.  As before, these rankings are from our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater with my comments.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 outfielders for 2016 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Top 20 3rd Basemen for 2016 Fantasy Baseball, A Recap

October 14, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 172 Comments

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For those looking for pictures of ballplayers taking off their ballcap and recapping themselves, you’re in the wrong place!  Though, sometimes I get the sense people in the comments aren’t wearing pants, so if that does it for you, there ya go.  Oh, who are we kidding, I’m not wearing pants.  Pants are for conformist sissies!  Pound for pound, the top 20 3rd basemen for 2016 fantasy baseball were as good as any other position.  In fact (oh, geez, here goes Grey adding on), Matt Carpenter was the 20th best 2nd baseman and samesies here, and was only the 22nd best 1st baseman, so not much more depth there. This recap ranking is from our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater with my comments.  The Player Rater allows me to be impartial while looking at how I ranked players in the preseason.  Now, let’s get this, young money.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 3rd basemen for 2016 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Top 20 Shortstops, 2016 Fantasy Baseball, A Recap

October 11, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 197 Comments

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We’re gonna find out if the top 20 shortstops are as Ken Bonerific as the top 20 2nd basemen.  Hint:  they are.  Damn, I gotta work on building suspense.  That hint pretty much gives the whole kit away and tacks the kaboodle onto its back as it’s walking out the door.  Goodbye, kit and kaboodle, I just gave you away for nothing.  I am very charitable.  When I go to Whole Foods, I only throw a small hissy fit when they ask me to donate money, “Take a dollar out of the $12 per pound olive bar and you donate!”  To recap, this final ranking is from our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater with my comments.  The Player Rater allows me to be impartial while looking at how I ranked them in the preseason.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 shortstops for 2016 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Top 20 2nd Basemen, 2016 Fantasy Baseball, A Recap

October 10, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 96 Comments

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We already went over the top 20 catchers and the top 20 1st basemen for 2016 fantasy baseball.  Today, we dip our big toe into the top 20 2nd basemen pool.  Okay, it was actually more like a lake where lots of spring breakers are partying, and, instead of throwing beads at girls, they’re throwing 30 home run hitters.  It’s a little scary, for unstints (how I say it), that there were only six 2nd basemen that you wanted to own all year in 2015, and, this year, there’s a 30-homer hitter 2nd baseman that didn’t even make the top 25 2nd basemen — Jedd, you Gyorko!  1st basemen were still a little deeper, but barely.  2nd basemen, and the soon to be released shortstops got their sea legs in 2016.  To recap this crap (rhyme points!), this final ranking for last year is from our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater with my comments.  The Player Rater allows me to be impartial while looking at how I ranked them in the preseason.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 2nd basemen for 2016 fantasy baseball and how they compared to where I originally ranked them:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Top 20 1st Basemen, 2016 Fantasy Baseball, A Recap

October 7, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 200 Comments

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After drudging through an Andy Dufresne-type tunnel for the top 20 catchers for 2016 fantasy baseball, I find myself with a group that actually really hurt or helped your team depending on how you drafted.  If you went wrong with your 1st baseman, it could kill your season.  Hey, Prince Fielder, no hard feelings from me.  We are totally fine since I knew not to draft you.  If you went right, you might’ve won your league.  Last year, I said offense was making a comeback.  This year, I say, you prophetic son of a B, darn tootin’ offense is making a comeback.  How’d you get so handsome and wise, though not wise enough to answer a question posed by yourself?  Lots of guys on this list not only did well, but did better than their preseason projections.  Offense is in full swoon, like Our Commissioner Manfred is swooning with the guy who wrapped the baseballs a little bit tighter this year.  To recap, this final ranking is from our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater with my comments.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 1st basemen for 2016 fantasy baseball and how they compared to where I originally ranked them:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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