Man do I hate the end of the year. People chasing saves are all into it, while the ones that are dead in the water couldn’t care less. And let’s be honest, they were prolly dead in the water all year when it came to saves. The end of the year chase is starting to show casualties, like the fall from grace of Glen Perkins. Glen is the kinda guy that I like, home-grown guy, pitching in his home state, took a nice friendly contract from the team. He can totally date-my-sister type. Unfortunately, he is staggering to the finish with an unimpressive last few weeks. I personally feel bad, because I own Perkins in a lot of places. I have so many teams, that I actually counted and the only closer I don’t own is David Robertson. Yes, every other single closer on this list is owned in some way shape or form by yours truly. So back to Perkins… his ERA and his K/9 rate have seemed to morph into some sort of Jeff Goldblum fly concoction of fantasy uselessness. Overwork and or an injury are the only things I can think that are the problem. He is/was a semi-elite guy until the wheels fell off. So if you’re still chasing, Jared Burton and Casey Fien look to be the guys lost likely to take the helm until Perkins rights the ship…which will prolly be next year. Only two weeks to go and we will get one Bullpen Report and one more Closer Report to end the year. The last will be a souped up version with lot’s of 2015 treats and stuff. So stay tuned or don’t. Your choice.
Marry
What’s better than having the comfort of having a great stand-by at home? Nothing. It helps you, it lives for you and gosh darn’it, you can do with it as you please, under the jurisdictions of the law. It’s got a nice pre-kids body and a penchant for baking. So we have the roster stalwarts that you want to have and hold for this season forward.
1. Craig Kimbrel – (Jordan Walden, David Carpenter, James Russell)
2. Greg Holland – (Wade Davis, Kelvin Herrera, Aaron Crow)
3. Kenley Jansen – (Brian Wilson, J.P. Howell)
4. Aroldis Chapman – ( J.J. Hoover)
5. David Robertson – (Dellin Betances, Adam Warren, Shawn Kelley)
6. Huston Street – (Joe Smith, Kevin Jepsen)
7. Sean Doolittle – (Luke Gregerson, Ryan Cook)
F#ck
These guys are fun, and maybe some day you’ll want to marry them, but right now they have their flaws and you’re not sure if you wanna take them home to mom. So you give them the special booty-call ring designation on your phone, and you get everything that marriage can’t give you. Stats are the important thing here, and lots of them, no obligations. No alimony attached, just straight unadulterated stats.
8. Francisco Rodriguez – (Jonathan Broxton, Will Smith, Brandon Kintzler)
9. Trevor Rosenthal – (Pat Neshek, Carlos Martinez, Kevin Siegrist)
10. Fernando Rodney – (Yoervis Medina, Danny Farquhar, Charlie Furbush)
11. Jake McGee – (Brad Boxberger, Joel Peralta)
12. Steve Cishek – (Mike Dunn, A.J. Ramos, Bryan Morris)
13. Drew Storen – (Tyler Clippard, Rafael Soriano)
14. Zach Britton – (Darren O’Day, Andrew Miller)
15. Glen Perkins – (Casey Fien, Jared Burton)
16. Cody Allen – (Bryan Shaw, Marc Rzepczynski)
17. Mark Melancon – (Tony Watson, Justin Wilson, John Axford)
18. Hector Rondon – (Pedro Strop, Justin Grimm)
19. Addison Reed – (Brad Ziegler, Matt Stites)
20. Ken Giles – (Antonio Bastardo)
21. Chad Qualls – (Josh Fields, Jose Veras, Tony Sipp)
Kill
Should be self-explanatory. There is no comfort in this grouping, along with the fear of looking suspicious when buying a new shovel and some lyme when all that you wanna do is plant a new butterfly bush. The jib? The newly injured replacements are here or just they’re just the unproven. All should be laid to rest, unless desperation or injury becomes you. Don’t get comfy, death or stat-suicide may be closer than it appears.
22. Neftali Feliz – (Neal Cotts, Steve Tolleson, Roman Mendez)
23. Santiago Casilla / Sergio Romo (Jeremy Affeldt, Jean Machi)
24. LaTroy Hawkins – (Rex Brothers, Adam Ottavino)
25. Aaron Sanchez / Casey Janssen (Brett Cecil)
26. Kevin Quackenbush – (Dale Thayer, Nick Vincent)
27. Jenrry Mejia – (Jeurys Familia, Josh Edgin, Carlos Torres)
28. Joe Nathan – (Joba Chamberlain, Al Alburquerque, Jim Johnson)
29. Edward Mujica – (Koji Uehara, Junichi Tazawa, Burke Badenhop)
30. Jake Petricka – (Ronald Belisario, Matt Lindstrom, Daniel Webb)
