Every year we get together in a Schenectady Sheraton to give away fantasy baseball awards for the past season.  I’m your host, Grey Albright and I’m joined by Random Italicized Voice — What’s up, guys and four girls?”  On the red carpet for everyone’s arrival is the Comatose Rangers Fan, “Let’s get started, I need to get home to see my Rangers face the Tigers!”  Joining us up on the balcony is Kevin from ESPN’s “Get Him In Your Lineup” Department, “I’m high above the crowd, in more ways than one!”  Today’s very special musical guest opening the show is…Counting Crows!  Coming straight from opening for Pink!  Not playing on stage prior to her performing, but literally opening a door for her.  They now work as doormen.  At hotels.  It’s very sad.  Anyway, here’s the 2014 Razzball Year End Awards:

Fantasy AL Most Valuable Player – Before we announce our first winner, I just want to introduce the accountants from Lobstein, Kipnis and Uribe.  Without them, I’d be counting the votes all on my own and I have a hard enough time counting Mississippis before rushing the QB.  For AL MVP, I looked at a few players.  First guy I looked at was Mike Trout and the 2nd guy I looked at was Mike Trout.  3rd guy was also Mike Trout.  4th guy was Mike Trout.  Fifth guy I looked at was Jose Altuve because he was standing on Mike Trout’s shoulders, waving, pointing to Mike Trout.  Sixth guy I looked at was Mike Trout.  7th guy was actually a girl dressed as a mermaid who I asked if she was related to Mike Trout.  8th guy was Mike Trout.  Then the 9th guy was Nick Swisher because he was sitting next to me at The Art of Shaving, having his sideburns done and he said Mike Trout.  So, the consensus AL MVP?  Mike Trout.  But I really wanted to give it to Michael Brantley.

Fantasy NL Most Valuable Player – I gathered up the votes for this, then threw out every Clayton Kershaw vote due to a technicality.  That technicality is called the “Pitching is So Deep” technicality, so the winner was Giancarlo Stanton.  I’m hoping this award helps his face heal just a little bit better.  Also, I hope the cocoa butter I’m secretly applying at night when he’s asleep, as I tiptoe out of his closet, helps.  Well, it has the consistency of cocoa butter, and I don’t know what else to call it to keep this PG.  Baby batter?  On the fo’realies, if you exclude pitchers from our Player Rater, the next highest National League bat?  Anthony Rendon.  If you’re not going to lower the mound, at least put the DH in the NL.  It’s sad.

Fantasy AL Cy Young – This was between Felix Hernandez and Corey Kluber.  It ended up coming down to the fundamental difference between baseball and football:  F-Her over Kluber.

Fantasy NL Cy YoungClayton Kershaw won this going away.  No idea where he was going.  Poland to visit A.J. Pollock?  Maybe they’re buds, I don’t know.  Even Sandy Koufax said and I quote, “Ma nish ta na, Kershaw is different than every other pitcher like bagels are different in New York than LA.”  Koufax and his Jewisms!  Congrats to you Kershaw, you stole away the award from Cueto.  Ain’t that a kick in the head?  Right, Jason LaRue?

Fantasy AL Least Valuable Player – There’s a case to be made that Chris Davis actually did more harm than Prince Fielder because the latter had the decency to get hurt and the former just sat in your fantasy lineup all year pooping on the porch.  But I owned Prince Fielder on multiple teams and not Chris Davis, and I’m choosing these frickin’ awards.  Fielder did do a solid for me by getting hurt, but that’s not a metaphorical solid like he moved my car for street cleaning.

Fantasy NL Least Valuable Player – Wow, so many, um, Gyorkos to choose from here.  But that specific Gyorko lucked out because just about every 1st rounder from the NL got hurt this year.  Though, when one thinks of hurt and hot garbage in your Hyundai’s glove compartment that is parked in the Sahara Desert, one has to go with Carlos Gonzalez.  Well played, you sucked the most, you sucky sucker.

Fantasy POS – The POS award goes to the guy that gave me the biggest ulcer this year like a rancid gyro with spoiled tahini.  Congratulations, Jay Bruce!  I love the way you stepped up your game for your 27-year-old season.  While you were at it, you could’ve accidentally ran over my dog too.  Or at least cut in front of me in line at Starbucks and ordered 57 drinks for your whole clubhouse and caused me to stand there for two hours while they filled your order.  Little did I know your April when you hit 3 homers and a .227 average would look good compared to four of your other five months.  Thanks for ruining it for me when I hear a Jersey Cougar scream out Bruce!

Fantasy Hitter You Most Likely Dropped and Picked Up A Dozen Times – “I don’t know about you, but I love Josh Reddick this week….Actually, I hate Josh Reddick…Hmm, I don’t care either way on Josh Reddick…Yes Reddick!…No Reddick!…All right, I’m done with Reddick and I’m not saying that because I finally got some medication.”

Player You Had Forever and Most Should’ve Dropped – “Jason Kipnis just went 1-for-4, so I think I’m gonna hold him for another week.”  “Okay, Kipnis just had an 0-for-3 with a steal, so he could be coming around.”  “Should I grab Dannys Antana and drop Kipnis?  Meh, you know what, Kipnis just made a hard out, I’m gonna hold him.”

Player On The Top Of Your Waivers That You Just Couldn’t Bring Yourself to Pick UpDenard Span.  “In my last spot, I’m rotating Adam Eaton, Angel Pagan, and Granderson.  I really have no room for Denard.  Eh, maybe I’ll just pick up and drop Reddick one more time like a bad STD.”

Pitcher You Streamed So Much You Ended Up Owning HimGarrett Richards had a 2.53 ERA in April, but you didn’t trust him.  He had a 1.05 ERA in June and you bounced him back and forth off waivers due to the Stream-o-Nator.  In July, he had a 2.70 ERA and after a marginal start, you decided you didn’t need him anymore.  In August, he had a 1.85 ERA and you finally committed to owning him.  Then he got hurt.  It’s your fault.

Player You Were Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop From, But Thankfully It Never Did – This was a two-way tie with Steve Pearce and J.D. MartinezJ.D. Martinez was such a plum find off of waivers, by the end of the year, he was battling with Miggy for a home run and average title.  He ended up losing homers, but he won on batting average.  Everything Steve Pearce gave you after one hot week was icing, and he ended giving 3 months of hot weeks, leading you to get so much icing you ended up diabetic.  Only the best diabetes a fantasy baseballer could hope for!

Player You Were Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop From and It Ended Up Kicking You in the Groin – “Pedro Alvarez might have a low average, but he hit 10 homers in the first two months.  As long as he keeps hitting homers, we’ll be fine.”  “Crap, I need a drink.”

Player You Were Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop From and When It Did You Were Okay With It – Sure, Brian Dozier‘s 2nd half didn’t come close to his first half, but he gave you so much gravy in the 1st half, your fantasy arteries were clogged enough for the lean months.

Player You Traded Away That You Most Regretted – “Grey told me not to draft Kershaw, and now it’s April and he’s out with a shoulder injury.  I wonder if I sent him and Dozier for Longoria, if the other guy would do it.”

Player You Traded For That You Most Regretted – “The one thing that I know in this world to be correct is Nelson Cruz can’t keep this up!”

Top SAGNOFFrancisco Rodriguez/Dee Gordon.  Remember, the essence of SAGNOF is cheap saves and steals.  No one had more value derived from steals all year than Gordon.  He also was drafted about 200 spots after Billy Hamilton and Jose Altuve.  As for K-Rod, he wasn’t the closer when you drafted, Jim Henderson was.  Member him, The Muppet Master?  Neither do I.  Here’s from the Milwaukee Sentinel on March 31st, “Roenicke didn’t reveal until after the Miller Park crowd of 45,691 went home happy Monday that the decision had been made to switch from Jim Henderson to Francisco Rodriguez as closer for the time being.”  And just like that, SAGNOF!

Top Hitter In Spring Training That Roped You In Yet Again – Mostsuckass.  Bombs in March most times mean the player “will bomb in April.”

Player Who Pulled A KotchmanJoey Votto.  “Votto is about to return.  Should I drop Chisenhall or Pearce?”  “Strike that, as I was typing my previous question he had a setback.”

Biggest Waste Of A Razzball Nickname – The Other White Meat.  Past winners include Krispie Young, Sparkakis, Mini Donkey and Mini Mini Donkey.

Slam & Legs Award – Let’s just say, the award should be called the Mike Trout Award.

Remember That Feeling You Had When You Walked In On Your Parents Having Sex, This Pitcher Gave You That Feeling Every Fifth DayJustin Verlander.  Just think, the highlight of your season in regards to Verlander was seeing him naked.

  1. Bill Lumbergh says:
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    Shotgun!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Bill Lumbergh: Wedddddddding! Were we doing Billy Idol?

  2. Swfcdan says:
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    The Razzbabies awards! No problems with any of those choices, though why oh why did I seem to own all the bad ones this year.

    Screw you Davis, Bruce, and Kipnis!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Swfcdan: Yeah, I was in that boat too… Bad year to finally have Alex Rios… Or any Ranger…

      • Swfcdan says:
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        @Grey: Luckily only owned Rios late as a trade throw-in, then later dumped him. Hamilton stunk/hurt again, last time I am ever touching him.

        Bruce and Kipnis were the worst two guys, what the hell are you gonna do with them in your next years rankings? Kept them in my lineup nearly all year expecting a turnaround. Special mention to David Wright too….yep owned that shmohawk also!

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Yeah, terrible year to own all of those guys… I did warn against Kipnis and never would’ve drafted Wright… Bruce was in the blind spot though…

          • Swfcdan says:
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            @Grey: You did but I had him as a keeper (dismissed your advice anyway ha), Wright was a keeper also. But shows I should heed your advice!

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Ah, gotcha

  3. El Famous Burrito says:
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    Remember that two minutes Cameron Maybin played this year?

  4. JeF With 1 F says:
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    Ha Ha very nice…I was one of those guys who just couldn’t get myself to pick up span.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @JeF With 1 F: Ha, I picked him up and dropped him and then lost him forever…

  5. Chuckles Tiddlesworth says:
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    Counting Crows. Even at their peak, worse than Jay Bruce this year.

  6. Matt says:
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    First, thanks for the great work this season-your advice led me to one title and two seond place finishes this seasons! I followed your advice from draft to late playoff streamers and it (mostly) worked out wonderfully!

    Now that the seaon’s over all I have are trade questions!

    In a dynasty, I’ve been offered Gausman for my first round rookie pick (#5 overall). Where does Gausman rate against pitchers like Rodon or Urias (that I’d have a shot at getting with that pick) after last season’s performance and lower K rate? Was it an adjustment period thing or should I lower expectations for him? I loved that guy while he was comimg up (and being jerked around by the O’s).

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Matt: No problem…. You have me mostly to yourself with your trade questions… I think Gausman was in an adjustment period… I’d take him over those pitchers… You have to keep or draft a pitcher?

      • Matt says:
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        Gausman would have to be kept-its a dynasty league so no penalty. The other guys would be on my minor league roster (until up to the bigs-so probably only a difference of a few weeks)

        @Grey:

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Huh?

          • Matt says:
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            Maybe I misunderstood what you were asking-if you were asking about the need for another pitcher, yes. points league 15 start limit weekly and pitchers’ scoring is heavily weighted over batters. I’d want any pitchers on my active roster to be usable.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              @Matt: Nope, it was my confusion…I understand now… Yes, I’d take Gausman there…

              • Matt says:
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                Okay, the guidance is appreciated!

                @Grey:

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  No problem

  7. Phil of the Future says:
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    Hi, Grey.
    Couldn’t bring myself to post yesterday. I was in mourning for my team getting rolled in the finals. I did end up with a couple thousand bucks, so don’t cry for me.
    Forgot to tell you as well, I am back in the states! Tai Ling came through with an escape plan and amazingly we made it out of the prison. I really missed my family. It’s good to be back. Also, Tai lives with us now. I figure it’s the least I can do.

    HOW MANY DAYS TIL PITCHERS AND CATCHERS?????????????????????????????????????

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        @MattTruss223: Oh, wow, didn’t even see that… Ha!

      • JeF With 1 F says:
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        @MattTruss223: that actually doesnt sound that far away

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Phil of the Future: 143 days! Which for someone fresh out of Chinese prison is nothing… Good to have you back, I sent Tail Ling to break you out…

      • Phil of the Future says:
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        @Grey: I know you did, Grey! He told me you guys talked a little bit. He showed me the Ping Pong line from last week and I had a nice laugh.

        So. 143 days? That’s 3432 hours. Or 205,920 minutes. Or 12,355,200 seconds!

        The good news? I’ve already killed a bit of that off just writing this post.

        The bad news? I have no idea what to do with the next 205,919 minutes.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          The ping pong match where you have to win by two, that battled for 3 months straight between the two Chinese nationals? I’d re-watch the video of that…

          • Phil of the Future says:
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            @Grey: Did they stop to pee?

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Nope, both used the Stadium Pal

              • Phil of the Future says:
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                @Grey: They must’ve needed assistance with that at some point. Gives new meaning to the term “ball-girl”(or boy if that’s what you’re into)

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  Haha… The Stadium Pal definitely hasn’t become the phenomenon like I thought it would…

                  • Phil of the Future says:
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                    @Grey: I totally agree. You ever wait on line for the bathroom at Giants Stadium? Takes forever. And then you get in there and you’re standing in about an inch and a half of beer and urine. I never leave my house without my Stadium Pal.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Maybe because The Stadium Pal sounds like it’s only good for one thing… It’s good for every day… At church and wanna whizz? Stadium Pal! In traffic and don’t want to pull off to the shoulder? Stadium Pal! At work and don’t want to leave your desk? SP!

                    • Phil of the Future says:
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                      @Phil of the Future: Grey we should pool in and buy the company. Total re-branding. We can do this!

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      They’d probably give it to us for a 12 pack of beer

                    • Phil of the Future says:
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                      @Phil of the Future: Ha. We should do it. With a few simple redesigns and a new ad campaign I honestly don’t see how we could fail.

    • Montezuma's Revenge... right now says:
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      @Phil of the Future: nice money league there if you got 2nd and still got a few thousand bucks, gotta be around 500 or so buy in at least.

  8. Lee says:
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    Special WTF catagory for Segura.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Lee: Yeah, seriously…

  9. Lville Jim says:
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    I know Prince didn’t win but I’d like to give him a shout out for the nut shot he delivered to the two teams I drafted him onto. Still managed to win one league and a third in the other. You fat vegan fuck.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Lville Jim: Yeah, he screwed me pretty terribly in a bunch of leagues…

  10. Mookie says:
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    I had Jay Bruce, Jedd Gyrko, Jose Fernandez AND Prince Fielder this year. Of course I also had Brantley, Dickerson, Dee Gordon… and won my 12-team $260 mixed 5×5.. so yeah me.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Mookie: Ha, nice! Congrats!

  11. Clint says:
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    Maybe Jay Bruce’s magical 27yo season’s merely a year late and he’ll be gold next season when Votto’s healthy to help him for that week or so?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Clint: That’s what will likely happen after everyone who owned him this year stays the hell away

      • wOBA the Hutt says:
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        @Grey: So you’re saying I should get him again? I’ll get him again. Yep, definitely getting him.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Haha, yup, pretty much!

  12. KB says:
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    Keep 5. Keep Forever, Costs First 5 Picks: McCutchen, Rizzo, J. UP, Castro, Moss, Springer, Bryant. League counts TB and BB in addition to standard 5 categories. McCutchen/Rizzo/J. UP are probably no-doubters, who are the other two? Castro would be nice for some position scarcity. Springer Ks should be offset by his BB in this league. Bryant is probably not worth a 5th Rd. pick this season, but I keep playing it safe w/ my keepers every year and miss out on the Abreus, Trouts, etc. of the world every season, and he looks like he could be close to that level of player.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Yeah, those no doubters and Castro and Springer

      • KB says:
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        @Grey: Thank you! Thanks for all the advice and good reads throughout the season!

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          No problem

  13. Natty Boh says:
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    My MVP Matt Shoemaker. Guy seems like he got a W every start in the 2nd half. He single handedly bumped me up about 6 spots in that category.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Yeah, he was huge in the 2nd half…

  14. L-Boogie says:
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    I won.

    Despite drafting Prince 2nd, and Bruce 4th (instead of Giancarlo), and Ryan Zimmerman 5th, and EvCab 7th, and Liriano 9th, and Wilson Ramos 12th and I could go on and on…

    Despite losing every closer I drafted (nice knowin ya Jason Grilli and Nate Jones) or picked up to injury or ineffectiveness…

    Despite being in 11th place 3 months into the season…

    I won.

    Let that be a lesson to you all. Don’t give up. Don’t ever give up.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Wow, nicely done! I was in 9th thru two months and battled back to 2nd but that’s impressive…

      • L-Boogie says:
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        @Grey: Thanks. It helped that I traded Zimm for Kluber right before he went on his epic run. And I picked up Cobb when his owner got tired of him early on (thanks xFIP). And I traded Sonny Gray (sorry) for Ellsbury right when Sonny starting pitching…well… not so sunny. And 100 other moves that picked me off the scrap heap (free agents Alex Wood, Arrieta, McCarthy, Shoemaker, Dickerson, Kennys). And I did it all with punting saves the last few months.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Yeah, all terrific moves in hindsight…. Well played! Gray for Ellsbury is most excellent…

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          I would’ve done that and that’s my son.

    • PK says:
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      @L-Boogie: Nice!

  15. LastPlace says:
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    Thanks for a great season. Thanks to your advice, I finished first in my NL only league (we wont’ mention my AL league….).

    Daiquiri sent!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      No problem… Congrats! And thanks!

  16. Mike says:
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    and to think preseason I got so excited taking CarGo 1st, Fielder 2nd, and Bruce 4th rounds.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I hear ya

  17. clate says:
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    10 Team- AL Only- 4 cat Roto- Weekly Keeper League – est. 1995

    I won my league again!
    Time to give props to ones that helped thru the year…Grey was a new source addition for me this year and I enjoyed the humor and perspective. Grey, you had some fantastic insight this year! I am a new fan and thanks for being there!

    TMI-SECTION
    Grey’s daily analysis was a big help…I had to take gambles with the prospects down the stretch.
    I scored 5 pitching points in the last 2 days activity to claim Sweet Victory! From distant 3rd to 1st baby! Tight categories thru September….I had almost given up hope to place it , but sometimes things unfold in your favor! Intense competitors…as the points flushed out:
    1st- 62
    2nd- 61
    3rd- 60
    4th- 53

    As you can see…you gotta make moves and trades to get that high in a ten teamer! (insert joke)

    Thanks again Grey for the help!

    clate

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      No problem… Glad to help! Congrats!

  18. mauledbypandas says:
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    WIl Myers was high on my disappointment list as well. Maybe a post hype sleeper next year

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Oh, yeah, big time… Harper was drafted so much before him but I though they’d be close… Not close in the 400s for value though…

  19. Wake Up says:
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    “Mr. Jones” and me worked out just fine…but it’s “Raining in Baltimore” if you went Crush instead…”Round Here” we don’t draft SPs in the first round, but Kershaw would have been worth it…It’s gonna be “A Long December” in Arlington…

    Prince Fielder = A Russian nesting doll filled with MMD, who is, in turn, filled with Segura, who is filled with a rotten ostrich sack, that is filled with demon seed!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Haha… I saw Counting Crows in concert at some ragtag festival and dude has completely lost his voice…

      • Wake Up says:
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        @Grey: In “Omaha?”

        I still like “Raining in Baltimore” but only when I’m drinking red wine and slow dancing with my kitties…

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Ha… It was like a free concert in the parking lot of a Ralph’s… It was really sad and hilarious…

  20. Big D says:
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    Who’s the better keeper in an AL-only league, Altuve at rd 3, Bautista at rd 5, or Scherzer at rd 5? In 2016 it would escalate 2 rounds, so Altuve would be 1, Bautista and Scherzer 3. Not sure if that makes a difference.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I’d go Bautista

  21. frankgrimes says:
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    BRRRUUUUUUUUUUUCCE

    • JeF With 1 F says:
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      @frankgrimes: can blow me….just figured you left that off

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Grimey! I got pear almond from Ripe Vapes… So good!

  22. Denys says:
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    i always confuse the counting crows and hootie & the blowfish.

    just like jay bruce confused a fastball over the middle for generally anything but.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Hahaha

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Btw, haven’t see you in forever…

      • Denys says:
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        @Grey: Moved to LA. Moved in with my girl. She only let me have 2 teams this year. :(

  23. JeF With 1 F says:
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    I will be drafting Bruce next year on the cheap (I didnt own him anywhere this year so no scars). WHOS WITH ME!!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I feel like I’m in a can’t win with him… If I draft him I’ll get two years of crap, and if I don’t draft him he’ll be great

      • JeF With 1 F says:
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        @Grey: Dont draft him then…im going to (assuming hes dirt cheap)

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Yeah, I’m gonna have a hard time not drafting him, which means his career will be over at 28 years old…

  24. JeF With 1 F says:
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    The counting crows opened up for Huey Lewis at jones beach about 5 years ago (i was there)…strange but true.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I wanted Huey for my wedding and he wanted to charge $100,000… Totally true…

      • JeF With 1 F says:
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        @Grey: Damn…that would have been awesome though…Next October renew your vows…start a Huey at my wedding fund on here..and lets get his ass…I better be invited if it works though.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          The more ridiculous was we reached out to Jackie Mason to marry us… He wanted $135,000… Not even a round number! Like 130 wasn’t enough and 140 was too much!

          • JeF With 1 F says:
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            @Grey: Thats insane

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Completely… And it’s not like he wouldn’t have done it if say we legitimately offered $20,000… Not that we would’ve, but still…

  25. The Thumb says:
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    My MVP for the year has to be Corey Dickerson. Dude played like a man possessed for the last 4 months. I’d be more than happy to draft him in the late 2nd, early 3rd round next year, ahead of guys like Puig, CarGonz, and Harper. Coors affect be damned!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Yeah, he was huge value off waivers in most leagues…

  26. Swfcdan says:
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    We gonna have a best and worst trades blog sometime soon? Always fun to see the deals everyone made out like a king, and ones you make out like a bum.

    Best has to be trading Craig for Shark.

    Worst…none! Im a good trader yo. Screwed up my draft this year, my trades were fine.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Haha… Skim some trades from the comments in March… I’m sure each post has a bunch that are terrible…

      • Hawk says:
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        @Grey:

        I was in the middle of my big money, 10 team 5×5 roto keeper league draft back in March. I had just taken Justin Masterson when the owner of Felix Hernandez walks up to me and whispers:

        “I’ll give you King Felix for Joey Votto and Masterson”.

        That trade worked out pretty well.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          HA! Yeah, that’s not so bad…

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Is that person still able to talk to you?

  27. Dave says:
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    Thanks Grey, I won my 3rd head-to-head league following your columns.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Nice, congrats!

  28. Lee says:
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    Your daily recap is my first click every morning. Thank you. Seriously.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      No problem, thanks for the kind words!

  29. Homerj24 says:
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    Thank you for the hard work this year. We all appreciate the efforts.

    though ….

    I did fall out of first place on the final day of the season in my big money league because of the HR and BA categories. You advised me back in either May or June to keep Jay Bruce and not accept the trade for Matt Kemp. Doh!

    I hate Jay Bruce …

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Damn, sorry… Jay Bruce hurt us all…

  30. Big Magoo

    Big Magoo says:
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    Worst decision – Courtney over Elizabeth. Pig ears? Really?

    Worst manager – Walt Weiss. Did Rosario ever start more than three games in any week this season? Why did it take so long for Dickerson to play every day once CarGo and Cuddyer were both on the DL? Regarding starting pitching, why… oh, nevermind. He would’ve Dusty’d that up too though…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      I don’t know, Courtney’s story was better, which might’ve played into it… Ex-stripper vs. ad exec? Not close… Though, I will say Courtney looked like she took more chances.. Pig ears are pretty outside the box…. Yeah, Weiss was a disaster…

  31. Fireball Feliz says:
    (link)

    Counting Crows opened with their smash hit “Mr. Bruce and me” winning first place despite your poo poo year

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Ha!

  32. VidalSassuno says:
    (link)

    Decided not to keep Bruce, this year in a keeper league. Got a lot of shit for it at my draft. Everybody talking up the 27-28 yr old season.
    Couldn’t have predicted he be this bad, but was just sick of the peaks and valleys in a H2H league.

  33. VidalSassuno says:
    (link)

    Decided not to keep Bruce, this year in a keeper league. Got a lot of shit for it at my draft. Everybody talking up the 27-28 yr old season.
    Couldn’t have predicted he be this bad, but was just sick of the peaks and valleys in a H2H league.
    Won my league this year after a 3 year drought with Bruce on my squad.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Nice call! Congrats!

  34. Big League Wood says:
    (link)

    NFBC seems to be a popular format in this site.

    The daily stuff is illegal here in TN.

    Anyone know if that game is considered gambling by several states ???

      • Big League Wood says:
        (link)

        @Grey:

        Yeah daily stuff is illegal in several states.

        Was curious if those money games were ??? Isn’t NFBC for $$$$ ???

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          NFBC is money, but I don’t know about its illegality… You’d have to check their site…

  35. L-Boogie says:
    (link)

    Forgot to mention above but I think it’s important to keep in mind…. I drafted my first pitcher in the 8th round and not only did I win, I wound up with the most pitching points in the league. PITCHING IS DEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!! Thank you and the Razz team for all the help and advice. But most of all I bow down to the power of the almighty Stream-o-Nator.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yeah, totally

  36. Ender's Game says:
    (link)

    Which do you like better for 2015, Segura or Alexei?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Tough call… Probably lean towards Alexei

      • Ender's Game says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Yeah, tough call for me too. I own both in my keeper league, and league mates are already making hot stove offers for starting pitching. It’s a good problem to have, I suppose…

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Yeah, not bad…

  37. Toe Knee says:
    (link)

    Hi Grey My first year here was great won 6 of 10 leagues. Made the playoffs in 9 and won the roto.I never make excuses but the injuries this year were the worst i ever had. I have to say Gray you were my JD Martinez and e1 else was my S Pearce. Have a great Vaca. see ya in the spring. gl razzballers in all your other sports leagues.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Nice! Congrats! BTW, you made it into the glossary the other day without you probably even knowing it…

      • Grey

        Grey says:
        (link)

        I’m guessing you are Toe Knee Arm Ass as well…

        • Toe Knee says:
          (link)

          @Grey: good guess

          • Grey

            Grey says:
            (link)

            Ha

      • Toe Knee says:
        (link)

        @Grey: I have to check that out. This time of year is tough had the baseball playoffs Football drafts hockey. But at the same time my son goes back to school and i have to cover his job too. So as i have been reading off and on not a lot of time to comment. I changed to toe knee for football and hockey as your writers called me body parts guy. lmao

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Haha… I hear ya! It was for chicken sit…

  38. Basement Artie says:
    (link)

    First three rounds–goldschmidt, wright, Bruce. Won the league on the last day thanks to Gordon, cueto, sale, street, and, of course, grey and streamonator. Thanks for the help.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Ha, no problem… Congrats!

  39. J-FOH says:
    (link)

    The Voice! Gwen is terrible on there. Am I right?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yeah, I don’t love her and her 1980’s shirts that say Team Gwen… I kinda love Pherrell though and I didn’t think I would… He’s so well spoken on the art of nothing… “You were melodically a waterfalls on my ears through the prism of blown glass.” *blank stares* Thanks, Pharrell!

      • J-FOH says:
        (link)

        @Grey: HA! right on. he is my favorite brotha on the show. It shows she’s an absolute idiot when it comes to music. She was a singer in a ska band that got sucked into the world of over production and fancy tricks. She sucks. That being said, I think they all kinda suck.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          I will say this, I wouldn’t know who Blake Shelton was without the show so he wins for making something out of nothing…

          • J-FOH says:
            (link)

            @Grey: he is a terrible singer and all of his winners have been the boring ass vanilla crap the masses love. The only reason I am watching is baby’s mama needs her TV time. Chicks! what do ya do?

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Another reason why baby mama and me would get along great… TV time with Grey! I honestly don’t know one song by him…

              • J-FOH says:
                (link)

                @Grey: HA, me neither but i have heard them start them on TV before I change the channel. Maybe if there were boobs in the background I might keep it on but that’s a stretch

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  Well, yeah, goes without saying!

  40. BrewFreeOrDie says:
    (link)

    Howdy Grey,

    Exquisite end of the regular season write up as always. Sad to see the Mariners out, seeing as they’re my team and I know you had outside odds on them winning it all. With that said, who do think takes it all at this point? I’m pretty excited for both of the Wild Card matchups tonight, I hope they Royals and Pirates take care of business.

    Is it just me or does streaming half of your team when they’re playing at Coors seem like a viable strategy for next year? And I’m planning on drafting no pitchers until around 150 at least. Finished at 177 overall in RCL this year, and I vow to crack the top 50 next year. Hope your weekend was excellent, and if you have the time, send my Liverpool team some good vibes for their Champions League match tomorrow, for they surely need it.

    Cheers,
    Brew

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      I’m pulling for the Pirates and Royals just simply because they’re the underdogs… I’d like to see the Pirates go all the way, but matching up with Kershaw or Wainwright twice in any series won’t be easy… Yeah, streaming in Coors always works.. Rudy did that and came in 3rd overall for all the RCLs

  41. Matt says:
    (link)

    Random question: what do you think of A possible Cingrani return to fantasy relevance nexr year?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Definitely possible

  42. goodfold2 says:
    (link)

    making me feel good about my league’s all having at least some decent competition in, since i’m in 0 leagues where richards wasn’t owned by may, at latest. my streamer that became owned would be one of quintana/shoemaker/odorizzi (except odorizzi had bad enough starts that you didn’t need to own him, as you could always get him back later anyway)

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Depends on size on Richards

      • goodfold2 says:
        (link)

        @Grey: 10’s and up for me, richards owned before may in all of them (if this was only in deep leagues i wouldn’t have mentioned it). Not saying it’s not common in some 12’s to find him post May, but if that’s true it does say something about how decent some of my leaguemates are.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Oh yeah

  43. goodfold2 says:
    (link)

    finished the podcast, and yes, I am a witness to the Trout correlation. i had trout in 2 leagues, a 12 team roto, and a 16 team H2H, and yep, you guessed it… frank stallone. wait, bad math there, i mean i won those leagues. Just took over another team, in a 16 teamer roto. It’s dynasty and a guy quit 1 day after season ended. I had no idea whether it was good or bad team (assume it wasn’t a good team though), and then i find out guy only got 2nd by 2.5 and almost won. it was tied for lead going into last day also. this team rules with
    posey
    a-gon/goldy (DL)
    altuve
    reyes
    sandoval
    LF blackman
    CF cutch
    RF braun
    util M.carpenter
    BN dom brown
    SP: hughes/wilson/archer/hutchison/peavy/salazar/gallardo/ryu/harvey (DL)/cain (DL)/pomeranz (NA)/hultzen (NA)
    RP: medina/rondon/affeldt/grilli/kelley/kenley/ottavino/muppet master (DL)
    i can’t even drop dom brown yet for rusney since it’s offseason (yuck)
    this team does have a lot of people i would never have had any chance of owning other than picking up orphan teams with posey/blackman/reyes.
    Has anybody this season somehow made very few moves (12 with this team), kept DOM BROWN all year, and still had even a chance at 1ST?!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yeah, that’s pretty remarkable… Tough league when you have to hold onto guys like that…

      • goodfold2 says:
        (link)

        @Grey: i think the previous owner was just ignorant, waivers have guys like rusney/crawford/saunders/red dick. it’s easier to find a decent OF out there than RP (since we only start 3 OF, but 7 RP). previous owner had dom on trade block since late april. i would’ve dropped that sack (sorry Tehol) about 4 months ago

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          I wouldn’t have drafted him

          • goodfold2 says:
            (link)

            @Grey: me either, but if you had he’d have been gone months ago. i’m trying to find out how long this league has been in play, since he has braun/mccutch/goldy it wasn’t started this year. he didn’t trade for any of those.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Weird

  44. gg says:
    (link)

    If there were a “Fantasy call-up that you though would be your fantasy savior that ended up just playing like a rookie” who would you vote for?

    I’d offer up Javier Baez, that was a great first week huh?

    Thanks for the ride dude, see you in April!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Any rookie except Hamilton and Abreu?

  45. J-FOH says:
    (link)

    I think Jo-Fer was my biggest disappointment this year. Prince gave us nothing before he went down and hurt us from day one. JoFer on the other hand was looking like the second coming of Kershaw then went and Tommy chopped our heart like the duck in a Christmas Story. Streaming aside I still like my anchor arm that without sent me adrift in despair.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Anchor arms are nice, but I don’t know if I think it’s totally necessary in RCL… Debatable for sure

      • J-FOH says:
        (link)

        @Grey: fine, then call it my blankie and I’m Linus.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Haha… Yes, that is exactly what a top starter is in the RCL… I had Teheran and streamers and had a 3.07 ERA… Granted some of those streamers were Arrieta for 150 IP…

          • J-FOH says:
            (link)

            @Grey: every year we get an Arrieta or Richards appear. Even Kluber got dropped in some leagues after opening the season giving up 34 hits and 14runs in 23.1 innings. It wasn’t until that KC game on Apr. 24th that lots of people went WTF, hold on here, then followed that with a dud at the Angels. In May is really when he took off like a bat out of hell. I wonder how many people in the RCL acquired Kluber as a free agent?

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Yeah, totally… I was a bit worried myself on Kluber than he was so dominant…

              • J-FOH says:
                (link)

                @Grey: maybe I can ask Vin for shits and giggles.

                back on my battle thread on the other page. I think I need to start fighting with Smokey. i miss seeing the word Donkeycorn so much. I remember when my daughter was four and i’d tell her the magical story of the donkeycorn, with a little elaboration, to put her to bed with sweet sweet baseball based themes for her dreams.

                • Montezuma's Revenge... right now says:
                  (link)

                  @J-FOH: now when she sees Stepbrothers you can show her how that relates to bullpens.

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  Yeah, you should subtly mention it to him with a flash of your holster…

                  • J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: I called him a bastard on twitter

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Good man!

                  • J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: we’re opposites, he’s small and blonde and i’m big and black

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      And I’m blind as a bat… Oh, I thought we were doing ebony and ivory from SNL…

                  • J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: while I have sight!

                    HAHA, Smokey is our Piscopo

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Yes! So, I just saw Jonah Hill at a restaurant… Holy schnike balls… Doode’s huge… Take how big you think he is and multiple it by three…

                  • J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: so what you’re saying is he’s still a lot smaller than me

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Nope, he’s wide…

                  • J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: thanks! I just got my Christmas bonus from Grey!!!

                    He’s got to be really short

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Yeah, pretty short… About my height… But Jesus… Yeah, you got him beat…

                  • J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: Im a monster in Hollywood.

                    Scariest looking celeb type I ever saw was Benicio. I went to some comedy club thing with this tall latin chick like 10 odd years a go. We went to this bar across the street from Canter’s He was sitting in a booth with a beanie pulled down and two girls on each arm. He gave me the scariest nod. Threw him a respect nod back and we cool.

                  • J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: yikes, that looks disgusting….can that also be the player link for Billy Butler?

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Oh my god, what? That looks amazing… Want, right now.

                  • J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: I’ve had pillsbury pizza dough. It’s not good.

                    • A Wesley Snipes Life says:
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                      @J-FOH: i thought jonah had lost a bunch of weight, guess it’s back.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Wow, you’re a party pooper…

                  • J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: now you make that with a quality dough and we got something there. Actually the fresh n easy dough isn’t that bad. When is your birthday, I’ll make you a cake

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      If you’re making cake, my birthday is every day… I make pizza all the time with a pizza oven we got for our wedding… It comes out great, I use pizzeria dough though… Go to your local pizzeria and they’ll happily sell you a dough…

                  • J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: pizza oven…tell me more.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      http://www.pizzacraft.com/pizzeria-pronto-outdoor-pizza-oven.html It’s actually a little scary and if I ever burn down my condo building and the entire neighborhood block, you’ll be able to point to this because it heats up to 700 degrees. You cook pizza in 7 minutes… It’s amazeballs, but about as dangerous as any cooking appliance as I’ve ever seen…

                  • J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: that’s pretty awesome. You cook with it outside?…right?

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Oh, yeah, it has to be outside… If it were inside, then a fire would be imminent…

                  • J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: I’ll be waiting for my invite to pizza night at your place

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      See, and I’m hoping for a Pillsbury pepperoni cake… Grass is always greener or more pepperoni-ey in this case…

                  • J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: I’ll make a cake to bring for pizza night

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      I like how you’re making it work… Is it crazier that Edinson is the Pirates 1st starter or that it makes sense?

                  • J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: I prefer to think about things that don’t give me a headache…..It’s nuts. Tell me that on opening day and I’d ask you who’s your dealer

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      He had a 3.04 ERA! What? I need to sit down. With that said, Bumgarner’s gonna win this game…

  46. Hondo says:
    (link)

    KC took a big dump on Shields by pulling him.He’s outta KC for sure after that bitchslap.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yeah, should’ve stuck with him…

      • goodfold2 says:
        (link)

        @Grey: was only at 88 pitches, not terrible whip.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Yup

    • Swfcdan says:
      (link)

      @Hondo: Crazy decision, then bringing Yordano in wtf. You are a lucky man Yost!

  47. Montezuma's Revenge... right now says:
    (link)

    just like end of season OAK bullpen right here. got 8 catchers but the one they play can’t throw anybody out.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Haha

  48. Swfcdan says:
    (link)

    Oh boy what a sad story, Dunn makes the first postseason game of his career, then NEVER EVEN HAS AN AT BAT. Now he’s announced his retirement….poor guy. That’s enough to even make a big donkey cry.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Ha, yeah, that is sad… It’s the appearance in the dugout that counts, right? Well, maybe not so much…

  49. DrEasy says:
    (link)

    Best waiver pick-up: Arrieta, but then again when you keep streaming pitchers like I did you’re bound to bump into a keeper from time to time.

    Best waiver pick-up that I should have held on to: Josh Harrison. Just didn’t believe in him enough to keep him when the coach wouldn’t give him enough PT. Gah!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yeah, agreed with both of those… Arrieta was insane for the final three months, something like a barely 2 ERA if you sat him in Coors, which you should’ve…

      • DrEasy says:
        (link)

        @Grey: …and which I did! emoticon!

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Ha, nice!

  50. Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey says:
    (link)

    to probably no one’s surprise (they are kinda near PHI, right) the PIT fans are a bunch of assholes, loudly booing gangly bird man as he makes a routine catch.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Gangly Manbird has been known to scare small children for no reason

      • Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey says:
        (link)

        @Grey: i do so love those posters people make.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Ha

  51. J-FOH says:
    (link)

    Here’s one to the underdog tonight. Screw the Giants

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Crawford just said screw you…

      • J-FOH says:
        (link)

        @Grey: he shames me as a bruins alumni….like bitch ass utley

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Haha… Doesn’t look good for my Pirates…

          • J-FOH says:
            (link)

            @Grey: the giants wasted their only ace…good pitcher against Volquez. Probably come back to bite them in the ass later. Nationals should stomp them unless Williams manages them right out of it…which is a real possibility

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              What? No faith in Vogelsong? Yeah, they need Peavy to come up huge and then Bum in Game 3…

              • J-FOH says:
                (link)

                @Grey: I don’t eve care that much about real baseball anymore but i fucking hate the Giants

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  I’m looking forward to a Dodgers/Giants showdown…

                  • J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: I’m interested in a Nationals Dodgers showdown

  52. jal179 says:
    (link)

    Dee and Krod I wired early… woot woot… then turned around and dealt KRod for Samardjia oops.

    One of my problems was that I drafted pretty well (except Prince who I dealt for Rizzo 1 week before the injury lol) with Madbum in 3, Gio in 7, Teheran in 9, and Gray in 15.

    They all started well and then u get reluctant to make many moves and then the wire gets depleted.

    I will continue to draft 1 elite starter in the first 4 rds but I will no longer draft any closers or catchers.

    Some mulligan moves were dropping Tyson Ross for Porcello (didnt kill me but it was a mistake) and dealing Krod for Samardjia.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Don’t think you need an elite starter…

  53. Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey says:
    (link)

    and that’s what edison looked like the few times he was on my roster this year, actually less walks today.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Grand salami hurts…

  54. goodfold2 says:
    (link)

    dude, holdzkolm looks a LOT like gangly man bird, but toothier and taller.

    • goodfold2 says:
      (link)

      @goodfold2: hold that, a LOT taller, he’s waino tall.

      • Grey

        Grey says:
        (link)

        Kinda reminds me of Jon Rauch… Super tall…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yeah, could see that

  55. J-FOH says:
    (link)

    I never do this but I have to paste over what SteveNZ said in the FCL.

    If I could drink craft beer in Echo Park and go to Dodger Stadium every night I could probably just about handle it!

    Damn, I miss him. It’s like the storm waves they chase in point break, an every 50 years experience.

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