Hello again. Which was a fantastic movie! Shelley Long needs a juicy role like Judith Light found with Transparent. Or at least a Juicy Fruit commercial. Sorry, for a second I sounded like a gay Larry King with rainbow suspenders. Which would be totally fine! Take it easy, PC police! As we move into the top 60 outfielders for 2016 fantasy baseball, we still haven’t hit a huge road block of guys that are awful. Sure, some of the top 60 have some warts. I mean, Evan Gattis slept in a cardboard box for three years; he has to have warts. As with all of my 2016 fantasy baseball rankings, my projections are included and where I see tiers starting and stopping. Anyway, here’s the top 60 outfielders for 2016 fantasy baseball:
41. Kole Calhoun – This tier started in the top 40 outfielders for 2016 fantasy baseball and ends here. I called this tier, “Make like Atari and Breakout!” As for Calhoun, here’s someone that gets no respect in rankings, perennially under-ranked, and here I am doing exactly the same thing. He needs people to get together and start a Donna Martin graduates-type chant to get him respect. “Kole Calhoun graduates to fantasy stud!” Man, that has no ring to it at all. Last year, he had 26 homers and he’s had 20 steals in a minor league season previously. Could he hit 30 homers and steal 20 bases? Darn tootin! Would I bet on it? Well, he has 12 steals in three major league seasons, and last year his walks dropped and his Ks skyrocketed, so I wouldn’t, no. 2016 Projections: 76/23/54/.258/5
42. Wil Myers – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Zobrist. I call this tier, “Where have I heard these names before? Oh, I know. I’ve already gone over these guys.” As for Myers, went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2016 fantasy baseball.
43. Stephen Piscotty – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2016 fantasy baseball.
44. Mark Trumbo – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2016 fantasy baseball.
45. Ben Zobrist – Went over him in the top 20 2nd basemen for 2016 fantasy baseball.
46. Billy Burns – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Conforto. I call this tier, “I lost and you lost, or maybe I won and you won. Or maybe I lost and you won?” This tier’s name derives from the fight I took on with myself to try and get all the players in this tier with all of those sleepers/sexy-as-all-get-out guys in the top 40 outfielders. Sadly, I lost that fight. Or maybe, since I was fighting myself, I won that fight and it’s not sadly, but happily. I’m conflicted, y’all! I want all of these players too, but for one reason or not, I just couldn’t get them into the top 40 outfielders. One thing that is definite, there are a ton of outfielders to draft. As for Burns, there’s pluses and minuses for all of the guys in this tier, and Burns is no different. If I look one way, I see a guy that could steal 50+ bases. If I look another way, I see a guy that just had 520 at-bats and only 26 steals with 8 times caught, and is already 26 years old. I loved Burns last year when he was drafted in the last round. Correction, I still like Burns if he’s drafted at a bargain, but I’m inclined to think he won’t be. Did I say inclined? I meant, reclined on a Squatty Potty. True Story Alert! During the Xmas season, I bought a Squatty Potty and had them gift wrap it, so they wouldn’t know it was for me. 2016 Projections: 81/4/48/.277/28
47. Brett Gardner – On one hand, I wanted to drop Gardner even further. On the other hand, that would just be doing it on gut alone since he’s been great for the last two years. On a third hand that is actually a Hulk Hogan foam finger, I likely won’t be drafting him because of some of the guys I have in front of him. In regards to the foam hand, this is a recurring point in all of my rankings. For instance, if I say I’d draft Delino DeShields before Gardner and, in all of my drafts, Gardner goes before Delino, there’s no way I get Gardner. It’s not like I’m drafting outfielder after outfielder for multiple rounds in a row. *eyes shift back and forth, slowly tiptoes backwards out of room* 2016 Projections: 83/13/55/.250/16
48. Steven Souza – I’m not dropping on you some crazy hyperbole when I say there’s about 35 outfielders I want for at most six spots on my teams (5 OF plus one Utility). Listen to some of Souza’s past years. Okay, don’t put your ear to your computer screen, I wasn’t speaking literally. Read some of Souza’s past years: 11 HRs and 25 steals in High-A; 15 HRs and 20 SBs in Double-A; 18 HRs and 26 SBs in Triple-A; 16 HRs and 12 SBs in only 373 ABs last year in the majors. He’s still only 26 years old. Of course, I’m leaving off his major drawback, he K’d 33.8% of the time last year. Only thing, he never struck out that much in the minors. In Triple-A in 2014, he hit .350 and only struck out 18.4% of the time. If he can lower his strikeout percentage to only 25% of the time and stay healthy, Souza could be a top 10 outfielder in 2016. Will he? Depends if Souza can play a different tune. Pun point! 2016 Projections: 77/18/51/.244/16
49. Kevin Pillar – The only thing holding me back, and this is a recurring theme in this tier — something keeps holding me back from true love — Pillar appeared to be a 4th outfielder up until last year. He could’ve slipped through the cracks though and been a 12-15 HR, 25 SB guy the whole time. Just, there, under the sea, like good ol’ John Dory. Speaking of which, if your last name is Dory, and you don’t name your kid, John, and nickname him Fish, you’re not a good person for depriving the rest of the world of some giggles. 2016 Projections: 68/10/65/.272/21
50. Ender Inciarte – Last year, the Braves had the 2nd lowest runs scored by its leadoff hitter with 80 runs. Of course, their two top hitters leading off last year were Markakis and Peterson, so Ender should be better. Ender actually could be much better. His minor league numbers don’t appear to be that different than A.J. Pollock, which is like my 15th comparison to Pollock in the first three outfielder posts. Ender doesn’t seem like he has 20-homer power, but neither did Pollock (16th!). Ender at least appears to have 40-steal speed, unlike Pollock (17th!). Though, taking this back to where we started, Ender is on the Braves, so he could be a 65/6/35/.270/25 guy which is not exciting at all. Then again, he could be a 90/15/60/.305/35 guy, but a lot has to break right for that. And “a lot” there rolls its eyes it’s such an understatement. 2016 Projections: 70/9/40/.288/25
51. Dexter Fowler – As of this writing, he’s still a free agent, so it seems like everyone else is chicken but Fowler. Weird! The Angels should sign him, because that would be the best for my rankings, but watch the Cubs sign him and then my love for Soler becomes like a balloon losing air. Ah, what poetry! As for Fowler himself, he’s one of those players that is exactly the same wherever he plays, and even has time in Coors to prove it. UPDATE: Re-signed with the Cubs because Maddon likes to keep the world on its collective toes. By the by, Collective Toes was the name of my high school band after General Gist disbanded. Fowler, Soler, Schwarber, Heyward…Great, just what Maddon needs more choices. 2016 Projections: 89/13/41/.252/14
52. Evan Gattis – Last year, his strikeout percentage was 19.7% down from 24.2%, which is great, but his Hard Contact dropped a lot which took with it his BABIP, his average and his HR/FB. Also falling were his fly balls — literally — and his ground balls were rising — not literally. Gattis feels a bit to me like Josh Hamilton in that past use of hard drugs makes him 29 going on 55, which would be a movie that Hollywood would never greenlight. “So, you’re saying you take Selena Gomez and make her Patricia Arquette? Um, no, and we don’t validate parking.” 2016 Projections: 61/25/78/.243
53. Byron Buxton – I already gave you my Byron Buxton fantasy. I wrote it while crashing from too much sugar. 2016 Projections: 53/7/43/.241/20
54. Jorge Soler – He didn’t break out last year, but he could easily be the best Cubs hitter this year. He had a pretty terrible 2015, but he was 23 years old and injured for part of the season. He had a Hard Contact rate of 35.9%, which was the 33rd best in the majors for players with 350 plate appearances and is above Yoenis, Arenado, Nelson Cruz, to name a few. He went up the middle 39.5% of the time. Only 26 guys in the majors went up the middle that much. The top guys going up the middle is not a who’s who of great players, but those aren’t only guys hitting balls hard. Hit the ball hard and up the middle, guess what happens. Okay, don’t hurt yourself thinking about it, you get base hits. Top guy for up the middle and hard contact? Paul Goldschmidt at 40% up the middle and 40.9% Hard Contact. Think that sounds pretty close to Soler? You’re right, it is. Quickly, what else does Soler have going for him? Was a top 5 prospect for all of baseball, plays in a great park for offense, will be in a solid lineup, has easy 25-homer power and 10-steal speed and could be the last time you’re able to draft Soler after the top 25 overall for ten years. Put that where the Soler don’t shine! UPDATE: With the Fowler signing, Soler is headed where the sun don’t shine. To the dugout. Where did you think I meant? I’m leaving him ranked here for now because I have a feeling the Cubs aren’t done trading pieces, but Soler could be a 4th outfielder come Opening Day. 2016 Projections: 57/17/67/.265/3
55. Gerardo Parra – Yay, he’s in Colorado! Lowercase yay, is he really that good? YAY, HE IS IN COORS! Lowercase yay, no, really, is he good? I SAID HE’S IN COORS! 2016 Projections: 60/12/71/.299/15
56. Domingo Santana – I already gave you my Domingo Santana sleeper. It was written in hieroglyphics, the original emojis. 2016 Projections: 62/22/74/.233/8
57. Michael Conforto – I already gave you my Michael Conforto sleeper. I transcribed it off a bathroom stall in Citi Field. Since that post, Yoenis signed with the Mets, which is both good and bad for Conforto. The good is people will think Conforto’s going to get squeezed for playing time and he will be moved down the lineup, so he becomes even more of a sleeper. The bad news is those people are right. For Conforto to get 500 ABs now, someone will need to get hurt. Due to this, I’ve lowered my projections a bit from that sleeper post (and he was in the top 40 OFs prior). 2016 Projections: 62/21/71/.274/2
58. Ben Revere – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until the top 80 outfielders for 2016 fantasy baseball. I call this tier, “SAGNOF!” The tier name is self-explanatory, assuming you’ve read this site for an Urban Dictionary minute, which is actually a long time. SAGNOF stands for Saves/Steals Ain’t Got No Face. Obviously in this context, it’s for steals. The SAGNOF credo essentially means that you shouldn’t pay for steals (or saves) because you can get guys late that provide these categories. While most fantasy baseballers would agree that you’ve got to roster anyone who can provide Saves, the SB specialist is more maligned. One look at Ben Revere’s HR/RBI makes you wish fantasy baseball rosters were like figure skating and diving competitions where you can wipe out the lowest scores. The creative fantasy baseballer, however, sees a SAGNOF and creates a minotaur with a lumbering slugger. An example includes the blacklisted patriot, Ben Revere Trumbo. We at Razzball do not judge the SAGNOF. An itch needs to be scratched. A loose nut needs to be screwed. And a team sometimes needs some stolen bases even if they’re not five-category pretty. As for Revere, SAGNOF! On a side note, Revere was traded to Washington because he’s a great patriot. Wait, that’s not right. He was traded there because the Nationals dislike Michael Taylor almost as much as they disliked Drew Storen. The Nationals did the unforgivable grade school teacher move of acquiescing to the bully. When it’s September and the Nats are playing poorly, due to team chemistry, Papelbon will be dancing on their graves. 2016 Projections: 78/1/33/.299/30
59. Denard Span – He signed with the Giants, which means he leaves the Nats. Too bad Matt Williams is gone, it would’ve taken him three months to figure out there was a player change in center. For our purposes, Revere and Span are essentially the same thing. Sometimes the best moves are the moves you never make. Damn, I could be a Eastern philosophy guru with that kind of knowledge. *Eric B. scratches* “Sip the juice cuz I got enough to go around and the thought takes place uptown.” Hey, I just thought of something. Eric B. and Rakim’s song Know the Ledge, is that a play on knowledge? <inside head>a mushroom cloud explodes</inside head> So, stats-wise, Span is what he is — 5 HRs, 20+ SBs. By the by, in the idiom dictionary, the definition for “it is what it is” is “it is what it is.” 2016 Projections: 78/5/38/.298/21
60. Anthony Gose – I feel the need, the need for speed! 2016 Projections: 77/7/41/.238/29
