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Please don’t ask if this is a ranking for next year. It’s not a ranking for next year. It’s me recapping last season. Please, for the love that all is holy, understand this. It’s all I ask of you. Well, that and shower me with praise. The latter isn’t hard, the former is. Also, remembering which is the ‘latter’ and which is the ‘former’ is hard too. Quibbles and semantics, my good man and six lady-mans (we gained one this year!). It wouldn’t be fair for me to preseason rank the players, then rank them again in the postseason based on my opinion, so these postseason top 20 lists are ranked according to our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater. It’s cold hard math, y’all! Anyway, here’s the top 20 catchers for 2024 fantasy baseball and how they compared to where I originally ranked them:

1. William Contreras – It wasn’t even close this year for who was number one. That makes it two years in a row William Contreras is the top catcher. Will (iam) he finally be drafted as the top catcher next year? He really is the epitome of the position. You don’t have to do anything great to be the top catcher. You just need to accumulate stats. William Contreras? Oh, he’s The Great Accumulator. That’s his new name. It’s trademarked by me. Use it and pay me a nickel. The Great Accumulator plays every single day. (The top guys aren’t far behind with playing time.) The Great Accumulator’s one truly insane stat he puts up each year? How about 600+ plate appearances in back-to-back seasons? The Great Accumulator does what you’d die to get from, say, Bryan Reynolds. He really is the modern day catcher workhorse like Ivan Rodriguez, without being called Pudge because of all the steroids he was taking, then being called Pudge ironically when he was clean, then being called Pudge again when he just got fat. Preseason Rank #5, 2024 Projections: 78/18/71/.282/5 in 493 ABs, Final Numbers: 99/23/92/.281/9 in 595 ABs.

2. Cal Raleigh – If I were an opposing pitcher, I would stop throwing Raleigh anything over the plate, because he really makes some hideous contact, and I would start asking him if I could put a lawn chair on his back porch. Preseason Rank #12, 2024 Projections: 67/27/77/.229 in 472 ABs, Final Numbers: 73/34/100/.220/6 in 546 ABs

3. Salvador Perez – I say punt top catchers (multiple times in this post and for years). I happened to draft Sal P. in one league (my RCL, and it was after pick 200 overall, because everyone punted), and I do understand the attraction to rostering a top catcher when it works. I did not think about my catcher all year, it’s nice. Or niiiiiice, if Borat is reading. But unlike a top anything else (say Judge), I never opened my team page once and said, “Ooh, let’s see what Perez did.” So, I figured it out, a top catcher is a woobie. Preseason Rank #6, 2024 Projections: 73/27/82/.251 in 529 ABs, Final Numbers: 58/27/104/.271 in 590 ABs

4. Yainer Diaz – I was higher than everyone on Yainer, and it “worked.” I put “worked” in quotes (twice), because I say I wouldn’t draft a top catcher, so I’m saying draft Yainer high, but don’t draft Yainer high. It all makes sense in my head, surprisingly. Preseason Rank #2, 2024 Projections: 64/27/78/.278/1 in 442 ABs, Final Numbers: 70/16/84/.299/2 in 585 ABs

5. Will Smith – Man, he kinda sucked. He was like Hancock, the, uh, movie, not the action of putting, well, ya know. Hancock sucked is what I’m saying. Ya know what? Forget it! Will Smith disappointed worse than something you have high hopes for that you have no actual commitment to. I say that because I ranked him first, and would have drafted him in zero leagues. I say all preseason, Do Not Draft A Top Catcher. This year that was Smith, Adley and J.T. Realmuto, according to ADP, so well played by me, I guess. Preseason Rank #1, 2024 Projections: 82/21/84/.262/2 in 484 ABs, Final Numbers: 77/20/75/.248/1 in 476 ABs

6. Shea Langeliers – There’s a lot of similarities with catchers and pitchers. They both get drafted high by a lot of people; I don’t agree with them; every year guys come out of nowhere to perform well that you could’ve drafted much later; no one ever learns that lesson; semi-colons are fun; rinse and repeat. Preseason Rank #22, 2024 Projections: 41/18/49/.212/2 in 432 ABs, Final Numbers: 58/29/80/.224/4 in 482 ABs

7. Adley Rutschman – I know everyone loves Adley for reasons that have nothing to do with fantasy but somehow that gets osmosis’ed into fantasy so people love him here, but Adley was very meh. The first four catchers were great (for catchers). Will Smith to Tyler were worthy of rostering all year, passable, fine, okay, adjective, sorta meh at times, and just okay. Throw in Adley’s ADP and he was a bust. He put up the stats he did in 571 ABs. I’m sorry, that’s nutty boring. Preseason Rank #3, 2024 Projections: 77/20/74/.270/2 in 537 ABs, Final Numbers: 68/19/79/.250/1 in 571 ABs

8. Tyler Stephenson – Drafted Tyler Stephenson a lot early on, then, and I think I’ve told this story before, I was at Spring Training in Florida, and I just drafted Stephenson on my LABR team (a league I won by the way, natch), and showed a Reds’ reporter my team. He said he liked it, except for Stephenson. He said that he thought Tyler showed in 2023 that he couldn’t hit for power or average in the majors and would be as bad, if not worse this year. Not saying this to bag on the guy, but more to say how no one knows anything. Preseason Rank #18, 2024 Projections: 6/14/61/.258/1 in 448 ABs, Final Numbers: 69/19/66/.258/1 in 457 ABs

9. Logan O’Hoppe – I don’t know what happened to O’Hoppe’s O’Contact, but O’Shizz. O’I know. Dur, it’s the Angels! The cursed Angels, who don’t make it to heaven, roam the earth and it’s in Anaheim. Preseason Rank #7, 2024 Projections: 64/23/75/.258/1 in 451 ABs, Final Numbers: 64/20/56/.244/2 in 479 ABs

10. Connor Wong – Logan started a new tier, per the Player Rater and its dollar values. Catcher Nine through 11 were still rosterable all year, and actually worthwhile in deeper leagues. Drafted Wong in the last round of my Main Event league. It’s a two-catcher, 15-team league. His ADP was 356. Not to toot my own Wong, but that’s pretty much the best you’re doing with a catcher punt. Tyler Stephenson, to give you an idea, went in the 220’s. Preseason Rank #27, 2024 Projections: 51/11/41/.243/7 in 361 ABs, Final Numbers: 54/13/52/.280/8 in 447 ABs

11. Ryan Jeffers – A fun thing to look at is when a guy like Jeffers betters his K% by 7-ish%, and loses around 50 points on average. From there, that becomes a guessing game of “Just how awful did his Soft Contact become?” And, oh daddy, it became very awful. He would’ve led the league in terrible contact if he qualified. Preseason Rank #23, 2024 Projections: 48/15/50/.226/3 in 319 ABs, Final Numbers: 56/21/64/.226/3 in 412 ABs

12. J.T. Realmuto – This is the final tier of catchers. There’s only 11 catchers who were actually worth rostering all year. As for Realmuto, call him sauced because Jerry Tomato is cooked! Why do I get such pleasure out of players I don’t like doing poorly? Is there a schadenfreude gene? Sorry, I meant to type that into the Better Help chat box. Preseason Rank #4, 2024 Projections: 73/21/67/.250/15 in 477 ABs, Final Numbers: 50/14/47/.266/2 in 380 ABs

13. David Fry – This is our first out of nowhere catcher, who, by the end of the season, went back to Nowhere. Really illustrates how bad catchers are that Fry is ranked this high, and he had two good months (May and August). He wasn’t even really playing by September. Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 44/14/51/.263/4 in 335 ABs

14. Willson Contreras – We should start calling him Contereras 1.0. “You like what Contreras 1.0 can do? Don’t we all! But wait until you see what we’ve unlocked for Contreras 2.0! More plate appearances, healthier knees, and a new camera!” That’s Tim Cook. Preseason Rank #10, 2024 Projections: 61/20/71/.248/5 in 412 ABs, Final Numbers: 48/15/36/.262/4 in 301 ABs

15. Keibert Ruiz – As someone who rostered Ruiz in one NL-Only league, there would be months where I’d forget he existed. Not a great endorsement! Preseason Rank #8, 2024 Projections: 61/18/72/.264/3 in 484 ABs, Final Numbers: 46/13/57/.229/3 in 459 ABs

16. Travis d’Arnaud – Good as time as any to say that Sean Murphy was not only the Braves’ catcher everyone thought they wanted in the preseason, but his ADP was 140 (in two-catcher leagues), and being drafted as 9th catcher off board (ranked 15th by me, for what it’s Cronenworth). As for the French Terminator, he didn’t have a certain je ne sais quoi but when he said, “Je be back,” he was right. Also, I thought catchers were going to be deeper this year, and they were absolutely not. D’Arnaud just about matched my preseason projections and I ranked him 36th, and he is at 16th. Preseason Rank #36, 2024 Projections: 35/13/41/.222 in 268 ABs, Final Numbers: 40/15/48/.238/1 in 307 ABs

17. Austin Wells – More like all is not Wells! Am I cooking now? No? How about Wells played? No? What if I said, contrary, he did. Wells played, well, well? Well, Al from Happy Days said. (A very new reference!) Kinda crazy how some players the New York market makes into stars — or at least hypes up — like Wells. He was fine, but his numbers are pretty lackluster. Preseason Rank #15, 2024 Projections: 43/13/45/.233/2 in 311 ABs, Final Numbers: 42/13/55/.229/1 in 354 ABs

18. Joey Bart – One of the few guys here is actually being undervalued in reality for, uh, fantasy. You didn’t roster Bart for the first three months of the season. Starting in July, he was one of the top catchers per game on the Player Rater. The switch from San Fran to the Pirates was all he needed to take off. Like a Mini McCutchen. Call him McNugget. Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 38/13/45/.265 in 253 ABs

19. Jonah Heim – “Hit ’em with the Heim” this year meant to hit one homer every other week and nothing else. Preseason Rank #9, 2024 Projections: 58/19/74/.239/3 in 441 ABs, Final Numbers: 45/13/59/.220/1 in 459 ABs

20. Patrick Bailey – In some ways, two San Fran catchers made the top 20 catchers, which is to say [places hand under armpit and makes the world’s largest farting noise] Preseason Rank #28, 2024 Projections: 41/12/49/.223/2 in 377 ABs, Final Numbers: 46/8/46/.234/4 in 401 ABs