Brandon Morrow has changed his mind once again, deciding that his decision in the offseason to be a starter after relieving last year was a better idea than his decision in April to return to closing.  It’s already June and it’ll take him at least a month or so to stretch out his arm.  Could he put together a great 10 game stretch to finish the year?  Potentially, but maybe he’ll decide he wants to play shortstop instead.  We’re so tired of him changing his mind that we’re going to pretend like we’re monologue writers for The Tonight Show rather than debate his merits…. You know what Brandon Morrow likes for breakfast?  Waffles.  Why does Brandon Morrow like to play in public fountains?  They let him be both wishy and washy.  Why does Brandon Morrow love the words Aloha and Shalom?  Because he could use them to both start and close a conversation.   Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Carlos Quentin – Out until the All-Star Break with a torn tendon.  This news took a dump on my prediction that Quentin would come back strong in another week.  Story of my life.   I try to be optimistic and God farts in my general direction.  In fairness to me, everyone was claiming it was plantar something-or-itis and special shoes like young Forrest Gump wore would help him.  That wasn’t the case so I was dealing with inaccurate information.  A team lying to the media?  What else is new?

Jo-Jo Reyes – Hurt his hamstring covering first base.  Jose Reyes has a torn hamstring.  Anthony Reyes is out for the season with elbow surgery.  Watch out, Dennis Reyes!

Denard Span – Out for tests as he suffers from dizziness.  Votto, cover your mouth! Span might head to the Dizzabled List with Votto.

Francisco Liriano – 6 IP, 3 ER, 7 Ks.  You know that scene in When Harry Met Sally when Meg Ryan says, “I hate you, Harry.  I really hate you.”  Then they kiss.  That’s what a 6 IP, 3 ER, 7 Ks is.  It’s the kind of start that gives you hope for a better tomorrow, but you kinda know that he was facing the A’s and tomorrow’s start isn’t going to be so great.

Jorge Cantu – Stop me if you’ve heard this one before, Cantu out of the game with a dizzy spell.  Maybe the pregame drill of spinning in circles with your head on top of the bat isn’t such a good idea.

Jose Lopez – 3 homers in the last three days.  Okay, so it seems like it took until June for him to start producing.  I’d lose your unproductive MI, if J. Lo’s out there.

Carl Pavano – 4 2/3 IP, 9 ER.  He sucked you in!  Yes, he did!  Well, he kinda sucked me in too.  I mean, I would never pick him up, but I kinda thought there was a corner turned.

Gil Meche – 7 IP, 0 ER, 11 Ks.  Now has given up 3 runs in the last 20 innings.  I could’ve sworn I told everyone to get him about two or three weeks ago…. Let’s see…. Oh, here it is.

John Smoltz – Will make a start on Thursday for the Triple-A PawSawx, then could be ready as soon as next Tuesday vs. the Marlins.

Wandy Rodriguez – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 Ks.  The Wandwagon rides again!

Geovany Soto – HR yesterday.  I would sell him immediately if anyone’s buying.

John Danks – 7 1/3 IP, 2 ER.  Solid bounce back game after a couple of wonky ones.

Chien-Ming Wang – 2 2/3 IP, 4 ER.  If you can’t let go of Wang at this point, you might have some Freudian thing going on.

Jake Fox – After scorching AAA and fields of Iowa’s prized corn to the tune of .423/17 HR/50 RBIs, Jake Fox got sent back down in favor of Aaron Miles after a measly 12 ABs.  Why?  Because, supposedly, he can’t field.  Or in his words  “I’m short, fat and fighting against a little athleticism issues“.  If I lived in Chicago, I’d print shirts that said “Crazy Short, Fat, and Unathletic….Like a Fox!”  I’d also print “Milton Bradley – Unsafe for Ages 2+” (He’s fine with babies) and “I’ll Fight You Zambrano y Mano”.

Andrew McCutchen – He goes 0-for-5 the day we finally settle on a nickname —  The Dread Pirate.

Juan Pierre – Will be relegated to fourth outfielder status with the return of Manny in July.  Okay, who’s going to register

Clayton Kershaw – Managed to get through ony 2 2/3 innings at home against the Padres.  He was fortunate enough to only have 3 of the 9 baserunners score.  We predict that he has 3 more mixed years, then has 5 amazing years, retires with a sore elbow, and is idolized by a whole generation of Jewish boys.

Kevin Kouzmanoff – 2-for-4, 1 RBI.  I mentioned this two days ago and will probably mention it again in the Buy/Sell tomorrow, but Kouz is picking up baserunners as Gonzalez gets pitched around.

John Lackey – 5 IP, 8 ER.  At Tampa is a tough matchup (especially with The Zo).  I wouldn’t chuck him into a deal just to get rid of him after this start.  He gets the Giants next.  Now if he makes them look good, there might be a problem.

Cole Hamels – 5 IP, 11 hits, 1 K at Metco.  Just when you think he’s back to being a diamond, he gives you a lump of Cole.

Albert Pujols – The Cardinals put up 13 runs today and Pujols is 1-for-4 with 1 Run and no RBIs.  Now THAT’S a Ticker Tease.

Colby Rasmus – Kid Cardinal is now 14-for-31 in June with 5 doubles and 2 HRs.  If he’s swimming in your free agent pool, pick him up.  If that sounded homoerotic, wait to see how we genuflect when he starts stealing bases like the rest of the Cards (Pujols has 8 already?!)

Andrew Bailey – Brought in to a tie game in the top of the 9th and Kazaam!  1 IP and 3 ERs.  Way to lasso the moon, Bailey!  He’s not in danger of losing the closing job but don’t be afraid to move him as he’ll be hard-pressed to maintain his current 1996 Mariano Rivera-like 100 IP / 125 K pace.

Jay Bruce – HR yesterday.  I think he checks to see how many owners in Yahoo have him out their lineup.  When it’s under 40%, he hits a homer.  Just a theory.

Aaron Harang – 7 2/3 IP, 0 ER.  Dusty wanted him to win this game so bad, he used his closer on both sides of an hour and a half rain delay.  When pressed after the game, Dusty explained, “Of course I didn’t want to put Cordero back in but the rules prohibited me from putting Harang back in.” Someone needs to write the book, “Dummyball.”

The Contestants and Producers of MTV’s ‘Real World/Road Rules The Duel 2’ – Bravo on a fantastic season.  If we could figure out a fantasy league around your competition, we would.

  1. anoraxx says:

    Well, it was a tough matchup for Lackey but come on, it shouldn´t be used as an excuse for such a blowout. I consider him amongst the top tier pitchers but the top tier pitchers (Josh, Chad, I used them as an example because I own them both) would post, at worst, some mediocre stats against the team from the bay. Out of the pitchers I own, he is giving me the biggest worries.

  2. anoraxx says:

    @anoraxx: @anoraxx: @anoraxx:

    And I own Han Son who I don´t really care about as I can ship him aboard within a second….Lackey would take me a bit longer.

  3. Steve says:

    Someone’s gotta be the first to ask – what are your thoughts on Starting Ervin against the Rays?

    I’m kinda nervous about it…

  4. ThePoonTycoon says:

    @anoraxx: lackey’s whip has always prevented him from being “top tier”. that and your “top tier” must be pretty big.

  5. p0rk burn says:

    Love the shirts. Lets get them in the Razzshop, eh? Either that or my hard earned daiquiri money is going to cafe press.

  6. Josh says:

    now I know how Alyssa Milano feels, after getting effed by Carl Pavano last night.

  7. timSTi says:

    @Grey: My Quentin & Cano/Hill for his Utley? My OF will be Werth/Damon/Grandy/Kemp/Cruz. Guys in last place and its a keeper league. I’m in 2nd with 9s in all offensive categories. 5×5 10 team.

  8. AL KOHOLIC says:

    @timSTi: jump on utley there

  9. AL KOHOLIC says:

    dizzy,dizzier and dizziest,what the fudge,has the creeper weed made a comeback?

  10. ThePoonTycoon says:

    @timSTi: would someone really accept that deal?? hell, even in a keeper league, it’s not like quentin has a history of getting banged.

  11. In light of Josh’s tastefully insightful comment, Kemp might be cancelling his date with Milano. Feeling used and sore post Pavano, there’s likely not much left there for him; and certainly not worth moving up from the inexpilicable EIGHTH spot protecting Kershaw’s bat. Maybe Christina Ricci? Torre might consider her. Not sure that she’s “enough” Italian, or even has the affinity towards ballplayers like Milano though.
    Beltre or Kouz or maybe Rasmus?
    & please consider Liriano on your latest Buy/Sell. Not imbarassed to admit that I too feel like the disaster that has become Meg Ryan. Thanks!

  12. mikey boy324 says:

    i read on the white sox official site saying that if there out of contention quentins probaly gonna be shelved for the year..unbelievable ive been playing fantasy baseball and football for years and i have never seen this many serious injuries ever and its only june..anyways grey where do you see quentins value at now if any?

  13. Baron Von Vulturewins

    Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    Ain’t Sure Mariner — now that’s a good title. Between that and the “no one will get this but screw it I’ll do it” Strasburg reference, you, friend, are on a role. A Colby Rasmus role.

    Speaking of…

    Pick up Rasmus over…

    Tony Pena?
    Leo Nunez?

    I was, not surprisingly, one of the 60% with Bruce on my bench last night. Of his 15 HRs, I think I’ve gotten 9 of them. I also think the honeymoon just may well be over….

    Wieters, on the other hand, is starting to heat up….

  14. Frank Rizzo says:

    Yeah….Jose Lopez…..the guy I drafted and dropped for Orlando Hudson. What’s the value here? I still have Hudson and Ian Stewart as a backup. I’m wondering if he ends up surpassing Hudson or is a more consistent player than Stewart.

    Where does he land among Hudson and Ian Stewart?

  15. jk says:

    great job Dusty

  16. schlitz says:

    Same question as frank rizzo but delete hudson and insert sanchez.

  17. mgeoffriau

    mgeoffriau says:

    @schlitz: “….insert sanchez.” — Please don’t.

    Also, hooray for the Dizzabled List comment…brilliant.

  18. Chris says:

    Jay Bruce – HR yesterday. I think he checks to see how many owners in Yahoo have him out their lineup. When it’s under 40%, he hits a homer. Just a theory.
    So f’ing true…I think he’s been on my bench for at least half his homers. What a jerk.

  19. nmdunkel says:

    Wang comment = Awesomeness. Dread Pirate nickname = Jealousy… (smacking my forehead right now)

    Hey, question too…I could use a fourth starter, and Lackey is probably a pretty attainable buy low right now. BAA is like, .360 so I think the ERA will come down…..but at this point, do you feel like he has a better chance to duplicate his 2007 peripherals, or was last year the best I can expect? Thanks-

  20. Mr. Rickey says:

    Is being dizzy stressful or does stress make you dizzy? Rasmus or Corey Hart the rest of the season?

    Also, sell high on Wandy?

  21. AL KOHOLIC says:

    @mgeoffriau: i grabbed lopez in my keeper league last night dropping hairston jr,he was snagged in our RCL league 2 days ago,so i think yes to adding lopez

  22. .(). says:


    Ha. That’s funny.

  23. BabyBeluga says:

    Trade on the table (5×5 mixed, 12 team non-keeper):
    I get Beckett and Fowler
    I give Damon and Meche

    (should I just make the trade Damon for Beckett straight up or take Fowler for Meche as part of it?)
    -is this power surge for Damon going to last? Is Meche storming back to relevance? How is Fowler from here on out – worth a spot in a 12 teamer?

  24. Teef says:

    Hell yea on the Duel 2 – Excellent season – I watch 1-2 shows a night on DVR after the Yanks are done and they go like:

    Monday – How I met your Mother (I <3 NPH) and 2.5 Men
    Tues – Office Reruns on TBS
    Wed – Real World Road Rules
    Thrus – Office on NBC

    I’ve gotta say, I looked forward to the Duel more than any other show this season with my excitement peaking at 2nd to last episode where they dropped a To Be Continued on us right before they showed who won the Tori-Aneesa duel.


  25. mgeoffriau

    mgeoffriau says:

    @AL KOHOLIC: Sorry, wasn’t really commenting on Freddy Sanchez…more the horrible phrasing of “insert Sanchez.”

  26. Corey says:

    Hi I’m Corey and I’m here to say I am a “Prospect Addict”.
    I will never draft a young rotation again.

  27. AL KOHOLIC says:

    @mgeoffriau: im in the bad position of trying to find some meaningfull stats at the M.I position,ive owned about 6 of them and i hope lopez will put up decent numbers,i have the steals so i can aford to not count on him running,i want runs and rbi`s with a few hr`s

  28. Thunder Dan says:

    The Dizzabled Lizzist sounds like something Snoop Dogg would say. Also enjoyed the play on Cole Hamels’ name. My enjoyment of your witticism wasn’t even tempered with the usual bittersweet twinge, because I don’t own Hollywood Hamels in any league this year!

    One question: I own The Annoited One, Matt Wieters, in one 12-team mixed roto league. Pablo Sandoval has been holding down the fort quite capably. I don’t see a need for two catchers, but I’ve been having trouble finding a buyer for either backstop.

    Somebody dropped Kevin Slowey. I don’t want to drop a pitcher for him because I’m way under the IP limit. So that means either Felipe Lopez or Wieters would have to go. Thoughts?

  29. Corey says:

    What should owners do about Corey Hart?Alex Rios? Jhonny Peralta?

  30. Mista Rickta says:

    Looking for opinions on two deals…

    What do you think about moving Sizemore for Ellsbury/Cantu?

    Howbout trading Cueto for JUp?

  31. PJTres says:

    @ Grey: Great column man…also a fan of the Dizzabled List comment!

    On providing overall value, which of these OF do you like the rest of the way – all are avail on the WW.

    Car-Go, Ankiel, Fowler, Winn, Drew, Reimold, Crisp

    I have concerns about Crisps lingering shoulder injury, and reimolds PT, but whats your take?


  32. knighttown says:

    What kind of closer could I get for Beltre? How about Beltre + Liriano?

  33. RTBs says:

    Whats everyone think of Mazzaro?

  34. Teef says:

    I have the Theriot/Hoffman in my box waiting for me to hit accept – I can’t bring myself to do it tho – I just don’t see the value increase that Ped brings over Theriot… I’d say in a best case Ped will hit 20-25 points higher on the avg but so far they have the same number of RBIs and Theriot actually has 6 HRs to Ped’s 2 and their SB numbers are also about the same.

    What am I missing?

  35. Freak says:

    I hate Aaron Miles.

  36. mgeoffriau

    mgeoffriau says:

    Drop Gordon Beckham for Kelly Johnson?

  37. bobbo says:

    @mgeoffriau: Johnson > Beckham for this year. So in a redraft league, it’s an easy yes for me.

  38. Commish Cauda (formerly Mike) says:

    @mgeoffriau: Non-keeper? I would.

  39. mgeoffriau

    mgeoffriau says:

    Keeper league, but max of 3 hitters to keep, and heavy penalty for keeping players you picked up off the FA list.

  40. Suck My Wieters says:

    Everyone & Grey,

    Who do you value more in a keeper league, Votto or Markakis?

  41. Commish Cauda (formerly Mike) says:

    I’m looking to make a run at the title in my 16-team, mixed, H2H-Points keeper league.

    Trade keeper eligible Gamel, (would cost a 13th rounder in 2010, 8th rounder in 2011, 5th rounder in 2012, 3rd rounder in 2013), for Manny, who is NOT keeper eligible?

  42. bobbo says:

    @mgeoffriau: So essentially it’s not a keeper league… because there’s no way you’d keep Beckham as a top 3 hitter. I tend to look at those leagues as redrafts because only the elite talent gets kept.

  43. Commish Cauda (formerly Mike) says:

    @Suck My Wieters: depends on the keeper rules and what it costs to keep each guy. But on paper, I’d say Markakis…he’s the more proven commodity and has shown no health issues

  44. jbatkins says:

    Wow. Just got offered Raul Ibanez for Jay Bruce and Jayson Werth. Werth’s my UT guy. Do I pull the trigger? Is Ibanez going to keep this up?

  45. Commish Cauda (formerly Mike) says:

    @mgeoffriau: I assume Beckham falls into the “heavy penalty” category then? What is the penalty?

  46. Commish Cauda (formerly Mike) says:

    @jbatkins: redraft? if so, I’d do it

  47. Hank

    Hank says:

    Hey Grey, fantasy Real World/Road Rules Challenge could work:

    Just do a suicide pool. Each weak you pick a guy and a girl contestant, if they leave the show, you’re out! Last player standing, wins.

    Perhaps make it so you have two chances to win (girls bracket and a guys bracket). Suicide leagues are also fun for football season.

    Also, I just traded for Votto in a H2H league, I gave up Kershaw and Kelvim, am I smokin crack?

  48. Teef says:


    That’s not a bad idea.

    We could also actually draft the players with everyone getting 4-5 people and do it Roto style and award points for things – Like, Duel win is 5 points, Challenge win is 3 points, physically assaulting another player is 2 points – getting caught hooking up on camera is 1 point – extra half point if you just cheated etc. etc

  49. jbatkins says:

    @Commish Cauda (formerly Mike): I don’t know what you mean “redraft.” It’s just a normal league, where I’d be giving Ibanez for Bruce & Werth. I think I can replace Werth on waivers (at least partially), but is Ibanez a definite upgrade over Bruce for the remainder of the season?

  50. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:

    Somewhere lost in these recaps was that Chris Coghlin has been batting leadoff for the Marlins for the past 5 games. Just thought I’d throw that out there.

  51. mgeoffriau

    mgeoffriau says:

    @Commish Cauda (formerly Mike): Basically, keeper rule is that any drafted player will cost the average of the previous year’s actual draft position and the current year’s average draft position. Players picked up on waivers or free agent list will cost the highest available draft pick (ie, not already used up by another keeper selection). 2 hitters, 2 pitchers, plus a 5th hitter/pitcher.

    The reason for the pickup rule is to discourage the luck factor in keeping the midseason call-up. Sure, you might get lucky and get Braun, and it’d be worth keeping him, but for the most part, the fresh talent will get cycled back into the draft.

    I’m thinking there’s no way that Beckham would be worth even my 5th round pick (that’d be the lowest he could possibly cost me, assuming my other 4 keepers would cost my 1st through 4th round picks, which isn’t a given), so I’m leaning toward grabbing Johnson (how’s that for a Freudian slip?).

  52. @Baron Von Vulturewins: Woo-hoo…someone got the Strasburg reference. We have a rather low threshold for references. If the other one gets it and laughs, it goes in. Given Grey and I go back a ways and have similar movie and music tastes, we’ve got more than our share of obscure ones. I’d hold onto Reimold and Ian Stewart over Rasmus for now. I think they are assured of more playing time. Rasmus is more valuable than Tony Pena or Nunez but if you need saves, SAGNOF.

  53. Swass says:

    Victor Martinez for Votto? Its a keeper league but I already have Kinsler, Howard, M-Cab, Longoria and Kemp as my keepers so I can’t keep either of these guys.

  54. Suck My Wieters says:

    @Commish Cauda (formerly Mike): There is no cost for players, its just a keeper with categories 2B, 3B, BB, OBP added.

  55. jbatkins says:

    Alright, gun to your head, would you rather have Jay Bruce or Raul Ibanez for the rest of the season? It’s a HR-heavy league, BA doesn’t count for squadush.

  56. Commish Cauda (formerly Mike) says:

    redraft = start over every year or “non-keeper”

  57. jbatkins says:

    @Commish Cauda (formerly Mike): Aha! Redraft, yes. It’s too early in the morning for me to understand, well, most things.

  58. Mr Baseball says:

    Lee Strasberg – the Strasburg reference

  59. Commish Cauda (formerly Mike) says:

    another keeper question…same 16-team H2H-Points league I am trying to make a run in:

    Trade Porcello & Gamel FOR Haren?

    Porcello and Gamel can be kept pretty cheaply for at least the next two years, as written above. Haren is NOT keeper eligible.

    Right now, my pitching staff (start 5) is:


    *and Smoltz coming off the DL soon

  60. Commish Cauda (formerly Mike) says:

    @jbatkins: Ibanez…he looks like he’s well on his way to a career year, and then some

  61. Commish Cauda (formerly Mike) says:

    @mgeoffriau: then Beckham isn’t really a good keeper option. I’d go with KJ…he’ll be streaky but should help you more overall this year

  62. Baron Von Vulturewins

    Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @Rudy Gamble: I did indeed get it — and I look forward to what you might come up with if a ballplayer named Stan Islavksi ever gets called up.

    Right now I have Reimold as my spare OF/rookie lottery ticket/Jay Bruce Slump Caddy ™ (get yours today!) and am happy to hold Nolan tight, given I need pop more than speed right now. Eventually, once Pierre gets re-benched, my OF will be Holliday/Dye/Bruce, and I’d love to have some other options there… but if I grab Rasmus now I’ll just be flipping a coin betwixt him and Reimold for playing time on my team. I’ll monitor, however.

    Do you agree with Grey on Stewart over Reimold, all else being equal? I like Stewart’s Sasquatch-y bursts of power, but Reimold seems like the kind of under-the-radar boring guy I always miss out on — like Ludwick last year and Lind this year.

  63. Doc says:

    @jbatkins: Ibanez. I have Bruce on a few teams and I am tired of his 1 for 20 with a solo shot.

  64. Baron Von Vulturewins

    Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @Thunder Dan: Drop Lopez for Slowey. Is Felipe starting for you? I’m guessing not, in which case that should be an easy decision.

    Do not drop Wieters.

  65. Commish Cauda (formerly Mike) says:

    @Thunder Dan: definitely do not drop Wieters. Get Slowey immeadiately. Drop Lopez.

  66. Corey says:

    How does this trade sound. I have Furcal rotting on my bench (Jhonny Peralta, the Silent H being for his homer-sorry season so far is starting). My SP is Peavy, Baker, Slowey, J.Sanchez, Zito, Anderson, Mazzaro, Livan Hernandez, and Outman. (Very Deep 17 Team League)
    Would it make sense to trade furcal for pavano?

  67. Baron Von Vulturewins

    Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @Corey: If you can trade Furcal at all, I would, but Pavano seems like too miniscule a return, even in a deep league.

    He’ll be on waivers in no time, is my guess.

  68. Corey says:

    @ Baron Von Vulturewins: Only two people really expressed interest. One offerd Orlando Cabrera and Medlen for Furcal and of course the other offered Pavano.

  69. Suck My Wieters says:


    Votto or Markakis?

    Vmart or Markakis?

    Keeper league with added 2B 3B BB OBP

  70. 3 things:

    1. do you know this much about fantasy football
    2. and do you have a column?
    3. which side…..Beckett, Cain & Kemp for J. Johnson, Capps, Markakis

  71. Baron Von Vulturewins

    Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @Corey: I’d hold him then, at least until he shows a bit of life.

  72. Corey says:

    @ Suck My Wieters: Markakis, Markakis, and Markakis.

  73. jbatkins says:

    Who ya got: The innings-eater who can’t strike a guy out Derek Lowe, or the shorter innings, real low ERA, high strikeouts, high injury risk Erik Bedard?

  74. cubbies299 says:

    Okay, so I hate the idea of paying for saves, but I’m sitting in first in my league and the only category I’m doing poorly in is Saves (and avg, but I own Bruce, so that’s not going anywhere). Should I just suck it up and buy a closer at full price? I feel like that’s the only thing keeping me from running away with this league. Here’s my team (14 team mixed, 6×6, holds, ops)

    C: Iannetta
    1B: Fielder
    2B: BriRob
    SS: Zobrist
    3B: Wright
    OF: Kemp
    OF: Bruce
    OF: Victorino
    Util: K Morales
    Util: Tulo/Matsui/Coghlan

    DL: Quentin/Burrell/Kazmir

    SP: Verlander/Beckett/Vazquez/Bedard/Weaver/K Escobar
    CL: Mariano/Wilson
    SU: Motte/Perez/Zumaya

  75. Paulie Allnuts

    Paulie Allnuts says:

    Grey – Just as I tried to convince that Pavano was being overlooked, and just as you tentatively agreed, he has a razztastic performance. question is – do I give him another start?

    If i drop him, are any of these guys worth picking up? Lannan, Niemann, Bastardo, West, Blanton?

    “If you can’t let go of Wang at this point, you might have some Freudian thing going on.” – it’s currently not good for me to laugh so hard, as I have this respiratory thing going on. Made me Dizzy. First thing in the am – check my teams, and then check Razzball.

    Question is – one would think that they Fankees will have to give up on Wang. Does that make Hughes more valuable? I would think that he would get the 5th starter position in a week or two

    Yes, it’s true about Bruce. I had him in my lineup until his latest streak of futility reached something like 3-30. Bench him one day, and then he homers. Probably should have kept him playing, as the competition was the Gnats.

    Thanks, again.

  76. Paulie Allnuts

    Paulie Allnuts says:

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: I’m trying to figure out the obscure Strasburg reference, but am not getting anywhere. Please help out, or my OCD will kick in; I’ll start wringing and washing my hands compulsively, and ultimately get dizzy spells.

  77. Dingo says:

    Can anybody explain the Zo? I’m afraid to look too closely, for fear that he might disappear into a cloud of smoke. In only two of the past eight games has he failed to record either a home run or a stolen base. He’s like the goose that lays the golden fantasy stats.

    Also, here’s another “Rasmus over…” question: Pick him up over these guys?


  78. Neil says:

    Teams are so dishonest re: injuries. I searched Google News every day for information re: Quentin, but the only “news” was Ozzie’s comment about the injury not being that bad and how CQ should be back when he comes off the DL. Now he’s gone ’til at least the All Star Break. I feel that it’s harder to get accurate information on major athlete’s injuries than it is to get naked photos of your favorite celebrities.

    Asdrubal Cabrera…the dude was practically crying in pain on the field but he said he thought he wouldn’t need a trip to the DL. Then the team said he could be back right after his DL stint. Now….July 1st is the return date…HOPEFULLY.

    Ellsbury thought he would be able to play two days after his shoulder bruise, but every day it’s “one more day,” “one more day.” I bet he goes on the DL this coming Monday after not being able to play this weekend.

    The same thing happened last year w/ Furcal…it’s not a bad injury, no big deal, his back was much worse in 2007. Boom…he misses 75% of the season.

    They string you along like airport delays. One more hour, one more hour, one more hour, boom, flight cancelled, here’s a voucher to sleep at the Quality Inn.

  79. Baron Von Vulturewins

    Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @cubbies299: Who are you going to trade for a top closer? If you’re going to trade for saves, you have to get a top or second-tier guy, like Nathan or, at worst, Francisco Cordero. I’m not sure I see an obvious tradeable part here that’s going to net a 5th-to-8th round quality closer. You’d probably have to part with Vaquez or Bedard, and I’m not sure you’d want to do that just for a bump in one category.

    Plus you’ve got Mariano and Wilson already — you just need to nab one more SAGNOF and you should be fine… you are in first, after all.

  80. cubbies299 says:

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: nah, I don’t want a top closer. I just want a Baileyesque underrated should-get-a-few-saves guy

  81. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: No way.

    @p0rk burn: The shop was a failure that we don’t speak of.

    @Josh: Ha!

    @zombie: Hehe… Rasmus.

    @mikey boy324: He has little value, unless someone in your league doesn’t read.

    @Frank Rizzo: He lands in the middle, Hudson on top.

    @schlitz: Middle, same as above.

    @mgeoffriau: Thanks!

    @Chris: Yup

    @nmdunkel: Last year was best.

    @Mr. Rickey: Hart. Depends what you’re getting for Wandy.

    @.().: Hehe

    @BabyBeluga: Make the trade Damon for Beckett.

    @Teef: Yup

    @Corey: Ha

    @Thunder Dan: Lose Lopez, but try and trade Wieters.

    @Corey: Hold, hold, punt.

    @Mista Rickta: Both trades are fair. I’d take Ells side and Cueto side respectively.

    @PJTres: Reimold

    @knighttown: Maybe Hoffman if you’re lucky. Franklin maybe?

    @RTBs: Search the site on the top left for my opinion.

    @Commish Cauda (formerly Mike): I’d take Manny.

    @Hank: You’re not smoking crack. Wouldn’t everyone pick the same people?

    @IowaCubs: True

    @jbatkins: Ibanez side.

    @Swass: Who’s your catcher?

    @Commish Cauda (formerly Mike): I want Haren.

    @Suck My Wieters: They’re fair, who’s your catcher? Markakis, in both, in a vacuum.

    @kR Express: I don’t know football. I’d take the Beckett side, but not by much.

    @jbatkins: Lowe, but there could be a case made for Bedard depending on your staff. If you have three reliable guys, then Bedard.

    @Paulie Allnuts: I’d take a flier on Bastardo.

    @Dingo: Rasmus over Pronk and Morales. Zo was explained on site, just need to search it. But it’s not a great explanation.

    @Neil: Ha, nice rant.

  82. Swass says:

    @Grey: My catcher is Pablo Sandoval.

  83. ScoutAbout says:

    @Neil: Almost choked on my lunch when I read this! Very funny rant.

  84. marshlands says:

    Grey- 6×6 roto (k/9 & OPS), trade A-Rod, Felix, and LaTroy for Braun, Billingsley and Volzquez? plz advize …

  85. Suck My Wieters says:

    Asdrubal Cabrera (shoulder) has begun playing catch and is hoping to take infield practice this weekend.

    Cabrera might also ready to swing a bat in the next “four to seven days,” according to head athletic trainer Lonnie Soloff. The second baseman is making a speedy recovery from a sprained left shoulder, and may be ready to rock the moment his 15 days are up.

  86. Doc says:

    @Neil: What kind of voucher can I get for Jose Reyes?

  87. Neil says:

    @ScoutAbout: Thank you. I’m bummed…I don’t want to watch pay-per-view at the Quality Inn with Asdrubal, Grady and CQ. Sure, it would be fun, but I need them on the field.

    I understand that teams don’t want to put themselves at a strategic disadvantage by disclosing that player XYZ has a sore shoulder (can’t reach the high pitches) or leg cramps (won’t be stealing bases tonight) or a bad elbow (can’t reach outside pitches or make strong OF throws), but once someone hits the DL, the teams should tell everyone what’s going on. Maybe teams don’t think they owe fans or the fantasy baseball community anything, but nobody consumes more baseball media, subscriptions, tickets, advertising, etc. than us!

  88. ScoutAbout says:

    Just traded Haren and Cantu, got Longo. Want to add a SP. Nolasco, Escobar, Smoltz, Zito, Ubaldo, Zimmerman, Blackburn are available. Who’s the best of this bunch?

  89. Commish Cauda (formerly Mike) says:

    Which keeper would you rather have…Gamel or Gordon Beckham?

  90. Dr.Phil says:

    That Duel 2 was good.

  91. Doc says:

    I’ve had more faith in Milton Bradley than anyone. I have him on ALL of my teams and somehow am still in the top 3 of all 7. He’s out again today. I’m going to hold for now, but I’m perilously close to dropping his arse.

  92. @Baron Von Vulturewins: Stanislavski…had to look that one up. Kudos. Everything equal, I think Reimold is a better hitter but I like Stewart’s 2B/3B eligibility better. If we’re talking UTIL, I’m going Reimold. I had dropped Stewart in my 12 team league and have been regretting it since…

  93. Corey says:

    Marshlands: You better accept that trade before the other owner gets off the Pineapple Express.

  94. AL KOHOLIC says:

    @Doc: me also,got him in the rcl with 3 bench spots 1 taken by manny the other 2 for sp`s,he`s flat killing me elvis

  95. Doc says:

    Need avg help. Is H. Bell for I. Suzuki dumb or inspired?

  96. Doc says:

    I’ve been pretty lucky with injuries this season except for Reyes. He’s currently an albatross around my neck! I feel like he won’t be the same all year. I think I can get something for him now, should I go for it or hold?

  97. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Doc: I’d take Ichiro there if it helps you.

  98. AL KOHOLIC says:

    @Grey: whatcha think?drop bradley(cant get right) for jose guillen,nix or thames

  99. cubbies299 says:

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: Problem is it’s a holds league, so most of the good saves poon is already snatched (no pun intended)

  100. paulzone says:

    what’s the outlook for kelvim escobar? he became a free agent in our league.

    also, would you start ervin today vs. TB?


  101. AL KOHOLIC says:

    @Grey: yeah you hope for 120-130 games from him on draft day,so the odds might be in my favor to get some p.t. from him soon

  102. youngcapitalist says:

    Trade Taveras (aka wee willy winkey) for Zimmerman? I was actually gonna just drop Taveras as weeks end so I’ll probably do it either way.

  103. Neil says:

    @paulzone: I like Kelvim a lot and followed him throughout his rehab. His velocity is good, 94 mph, so it’s probably just a matter of waiting a few starts for him to get re-accustomed to MLB and then hopefully he will have a nice July onward. Could be a similar story to Carpenter’s 2009. I have Kelvim on my roster and chose him over these guys in free agency: Hanson, Zimmermann, Danks.

  104. Scott says:

    Please rank Crawford, Soriano, Phillips for the rest of the season.

  105. Neil says:

    @paulzone: I also own Ervin and am not starting him against TB. They’re tough.

  106. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Scott: Crawford, Soriano, Phillips

  107. Thunder Dan says:

    @Grey: @Baron Von Vulturewins: @Commish Cauda (formerly Mike): Thanks guys. Yeah, Felipe is my supersub, who I’ve been using a lot at 3B since Votto and Cantu have both missed time (Branyan from UTIL to 1B, Wieters from bench to UTIL). Losing Lopez won’t hurt too much and hopefully Wieters will live up to a bit of his hype so I can move him.

  108. DrEasy says:

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: You wrote:
    “Between that and the “no one will get this but screw it I’ll do it” Strasburg reference, you, friend, are on a role. ”

    A “role”! Ha, I see what you did there!

    I put a waiver claim on CarGo, dropping Podsednik, and it went through. I’m not sure if I should be happy…

  109. Teef says:

    Thoughts on Scott Kazmir? Might be able to nab him as a throw in

    So it’d be Theriot/Hoffman for Pedroia Kazmir

    You think he turns it around?

  110. DrEasy says:

    Also: drop Beckham for Coghlan? The Cog is heating up playing leadoff.

  111. Scott says:

    Anyone see Cox go all Leyland and hit Barbaro Canizares cleanup in his debut? He is probably the best option though. Wow the Braves suck.

  112. Scott says:

    @Teef: No, but if you don’t have to play him, he’s worth it as a throw in.

  113. Teef says:

    @Scott – what makes you say no? my first reaction was ill try and flip him for a crappy closer but then I look at his numbers over the last 3-4 years and they are very solid well over a k per inning in the last 2 years with era in the mid 3’s

    @grey- your thoughts?

  114. rios/wieters for quentin?

  115. Scott says:

    @Teef: No on the think he’ll turn it around question. K/9 way down and BB/9 up this year. I heard something somewhere about decreased velocity. He is probably hurt again. I know novel concept with him, but if he is truly a throw in, definitely go for it, unless you can get someone else actually useful.

  116. Scott says:

    @danimal35: Quentin out until the break at least, so Rios/Wieters

  117. albertalbert says:

    ok – another rasmus question:

    him or n johnson?

  118. Swass says:

    Votto, Pablo Sandoval, and Buehrle or Victor and S. Drew, keeper league.

    (Victor would not be kept by the team receiving him, but Votto would be by the team receiving him)

  119. Swass says:

    None of the other players involved would be kept.

  120. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Swass: I’d take the Victorino side, unless the other team has a black hole at 1st and really needs Votto.

  121. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Swass: I’d also take the Victor Martinez side if that’s what you meant. My bad.

  122. Frank Rizzo says:

    Wow…..Ian homered on Gallardo! Unexpected but nice when you have him in your lineup.

  123. Doc says:

    Have Vazquez and Maholm in the RCL. Sat Maholm, wish I hadn’t. Nice pitcher’s duel.

  124. Frank Rizzo says:

    @Grey: True. He’s struggling today. Surprising since he’s facing the Rockies and he’s unhittable at home. The Rockies are tough to read. When you assume they’re going to lie down and take their beating they come out swinging.

  125. Jobu's rum says:

    @Doc: Yeah, I’m pleasently surprised by Maholm today … especially the Ks. Wish I could get a W somewhere.

  126. Baron Von Vulturewins

    Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @Grey: This is the second time I’ve picked up Leo Nunez as a SAGNOF speculation, and the second time he’s immediately pooped in my salad.

  127. Softballs:

    Cuddyer or Rasmus

    Josh Johnson and Reynolds or Adam Jones and Chipper Jones

  128. johnny says:

    Barbaro Canizares 1B Braves called up and batting cleanup. Drop Morales?

  129. Frank Rizzo says:

    @naughtandcross: Josh Johnson and Reynolds.

    I don’t want either Cuddyer or Rasmus. I choose to pass.

  130. Doc says:

    @Grey: I’m guessing they taste the same

  131. Grimlock says:

    Ugh…I just now got The Aint Sure Mariner, and it’s not because I’ve never read the referenced poem. While I appreciate a little playful snobbery as much as the next playful snob, you guys were toeing the line of incomprehensibility with that one.

    Speaking of the incomprehensible, I have no idea what I was doing screwing around with Leo Nunez on my team. Have looks like a crack dealer in his ESPN profile picture, and believe me, I should know.

  132. Grimlock says:

    Aaaagghghhhhghhghgh!!! Goddamit, Rafael Soriano! Why do my middle relievers hate me today?

  133. timsti says:

    @Grey: Guy in my league offered me Kazmir for any of my OF’s. Any of these you’d trade straight up? Kemp/Werth/Grandy/Damon/Cruz? Thatll leave a void I can fill til quentin hopefully returns.

  134. Grey

    Grey says:

    @timsti: I wouldn’t trade any of those for Kaz.

  135. Doc says:

    Bourn just made an insane catch. Make sure you check it out.

  136. Money says:

    Grey.. I just started getting on this website and its great… your are the fantasy king.

    I really need a waiver wire spot starter for tom and there is some pretty nice ones out there. Who should I take Porcello @ Pit, Ubaldo @ Sea, Washburn @ Col, R.Wells @ Min, or Escobar @ SD. Should I grab any of these guys and keep em… I am thinking of getting rid of either Blalock or Branyan

  137. Corey says:

    What do you guys think about C.C. going this year? Will his home park kill him? I’ll be able to pick him up from a guy in my league who is in next to last place and is going to rebuild since this is a dynasty league. He said in the trading block he will take a top SP prospect for him. make the move now?

  138. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Money: Thanks for the kind words! There are a lot of decent ones there. I’d go with Ubaldo.

    @Corey: I’d want CC for the right price. He’ll be lights out for a couple of months at a time.

  139. JBi says:

    Can we please start referring to Ben as The Amazing Zobrist?

  140. Corey says:

    Grey: I have Brett Anderson, Jeremy Hellickson and Jhoulyis Chacin. Which should I try to give him?

  141. Grey

    Grey says:

    @JBi: Nice!

    @Corey: I’d give him any of those guys for CC. Starting in that order. Two if you have to.

  142. Steve says:

    @Grey: Time for Cook owners to exhale.

    I’m still not counting on a win and his pen bailed him out a bit there, but you have to love what he gives you, start after start. Even some Ks today!

    Almost lost faith a while back, glad I stuck with him.

  143. Doc says:

    Cook, Happ, or Pavano?

  144. Steve says:

    @Doc: Happ for upside, Cook for boring predictability. There’s usually a place for that, right?

  145. Greg says:

    Is it time to start talking about Chris B. Young again?

  146. Jobu's rum says:

    @Greg: Why? What’s Krispie doing?

  147. Greg says:

    The last handful of games seems like he’s getting more hits than normal (including lots of doubles). I was fooled drafting him based on his PECOTA card so I want to keep an eye on him in case he heats up.

  148. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: Nice start, for sure.

    @Greg: He’s batting .208 in his last 7. Worth a bench spot maybe, but not much else.

  149. ScoutAbout says:

    God, can the D-Backs offense, hitting or fielding, help out any of the D-Backs pitchers?!

  150. Grey

    Grey says:

    @ScoutAbout: Wha happened? I got my Qualls save.

  151. ScoutAbout says:

    Just some fielding issues that made it a tad more difficult than it needed to be. I also (until a recent trade) had Haren, so I’m a bit bitter about the D-Backs offense anyway. It’s all good now, got the save. SAGNOF!

  152. I'm Keith Hernandez says:

    Lackey got dropped in on of my leagues, i am # 6 in waiver claim, doh…..

  153. knighttown says:

    I can’t play my Beltre in my 11 teamer because I’ve got Albert, Prince, Teix and Chipper at 1B/CI/Util/3B. I hate trading for saves but I’m Top 3 in all other categories and I’ve got virtually no closers with Qualls issues, Joey Walgreen coming back to take The Troy’s spot and some other douche/Mr. B.

    I offered Beltre and Dukes (DL stash) for Fuentes and he replied with his Rodney for my Beltre. I honestly haven’t paid too much attention to Fernando. I assume he’s a donkey-corn. Any reason to think he won’t be getting saves in August?

  154. Doc says:

    Escobar is being moved to the pen because he has a weak baby arm.

  155. martin says:

    @ grey- i have slowey @ cubs, Hanson @ Bal, Joba V NYM, kuroda @ Tex tomorrow. I need GOOD starts from the ones i start. I’m thinking slowey, joba, hanson but who should i start?

  156. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Doc: Ha, that’s funny.

    @martin: Start them all except Kuroda, but Slowey’s risky there. If you really have to be precious, I’d sit him too.

  157. Doc says:

    Ortiz’s magic eye drops must be working.

  158. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Doc: Hmm… Maybe Victor Conte was his optometrist.

  159. ScoutAbout says:

    @Grey: Cleared his eyes right up.

  160. agarthered says:

    So whose benching Nolasco against the Jays tomorrow?

  161. Doc says:

    Looks like the Cubs and Rays are looking at Pedro. Is he a pickup if you have an open spot?

  162. Prince says:

    Beltre or Stewart to replace Huff? Also, are you still an Alexei believer? (thinking about J. Lopez) Thanks

  163. Robert says:

    Stewart or J. Lopez for 2B? Kendrick is killing me!

  164. Marr says:

    Kelvim Escobar to the bullpen?

    I drop Stewart for Joyce and they suddenly switch bodies?

    Terrible week, do either of the above mentioned scenarios still have the possibility of working out in my favor?

  165. Doc says:

    @Marr: Joyce has been optioned to AAA for Burrell’s activation.

  166. Greg says:

    Pick up Palmer in place of Escobar or Happ or Blackburn instead?

  167. Doc says:

    Maine going on DL

  168. Mr Baseball says:

    the way Maine been pitching I thought he was on the active DL list

  169. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Robert: I told people to punt Kendrick two weeks ago. Go with Stewart, unless average is an issue for your team, then go with Lopez.

    @Marr: Joyce is gone. Escobar to the bullpen, yeah, he’s not worth holding onto.

    @Greg: Happ, but I don’t like any of those choices.

    @Mr Baseball: Ha!

  170. PJTres says:

    @ Grey: What do you make of Ricky Romero? He held Texas to 1 run tonight (@ Texas!)

  171. Grey

    Grey says:

    @PJTres: I’m not a fan of his in mixed leagues. Unless we’re talking 15 team or deeper. Even then I wouldn’t own him.

  172. Mr Baseball says:

    David Vincent Price stars in Tales of control Terror as he struggled with his control again – he walk 6 batters – I read somewhere that the hot weather is affecting his pitching – that sucks for him since its going to above 90 every time he takes the mound in Tampa Bay

  173. Mr Baseball says:

    opps tampa plays in a dome – maybe the ac was out

  174. Mr Baseball says:

    I was just trying to look for an out for David Price –

  175. Mr Baseball says:

    one thing about all articles about david price thought – no matter how many players he walks or runs he gives up – the articles are positive – David had the best pitching performance of all time for a pitcher that walk 6 batters –

  176. Mr Baseball says:

    Headlines if Daniel Alberto Cabrera pitched – he gave up 6 walks – HE SUCKS !

  177. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Mr Baseball: Yeah… Kinda like Chipper. No one has ever said anything bad about him.

  178. Mr Baseball says:

    I am sure a few fantasy owners had a few unkind things to say about chipper –

  179. Corey says:

    Chipper’s [email protected]$$ really ticks me off. Of course, this is coming from a Braves fan. I hate every time he gets a hang-nail he is out for the game. He stubs his toe, there goes a week. He’s getting paid in the millions, act like it. Bobby Cox is the worst manager for this guy. He really babied Andruw Jones too. jeeeeeeeeez. Get your line-up to hit every now and then Bobby. Oh, wait, you are usually thrown out of every game, shoot.

  180. Drev says:

    Which side of Hamels/Kazmir for Harang/Price do you want?

  181. Neil says:

    @Corey: I’m a Mets fan, but Chipper is one of the best hitters I’ve ever seen. I’m sure he wants to play every day, all these guys do, but if he can’t play, he sits. I remember last year’s SI article on Chipper said his legs and knees are so bad that he needs his wife to help him out of the car some evenings. Chipper wants to get into the Hall of Fame…he knows he needs to keep building the counting stats….taking days off for bumps and bruises won’t help his cause.

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