Please see our player page for Taylor Hearn to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Just once
Can we figure out what we keep doin’ wrong
Why our players never last for very long
What are we doin’ wrong?
Just once
Can we find a way to finally make it right
Make the magic last for more than just one night
We could just get to it
I know I just got back India but what did the Fantasy Baseball Overlord do to it
Hmm hmm
Just once

*sobbing uncontrollably* Make the magic last for just one night. Just once–Jesus effin’ Christmas tree lights up in October what are we doing? This is not right!? Ozzie Albies? Seriously? A fractured foot? Ozzie Albies’s feet should only be discussed on some weird subreddit. Ess oh BEEEEE! So, Orlando Arcia should see more playing time while Albies is out, my guess is for at least six weeks. I hate this. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday, Luis Garcia went 5 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 2.94. Officially, Luis Garcia #1 is outpacing Luis Garcia #2 and Luis Garcia #3 by a lot. Step up your game, Luis Garcias! If I had a couple billion dollars, I’d buy a MLB team and fill the whole team with Luis Garcias. A Luis Garcia at each position. “Luis winds up and–a hot smash to third! Luis Garcia snags it, and goes to Luis Garcia at 2nd and onto Luis Garcia at first. Double play complete!” Name that team the Garcias and get LG to sponsor us. Prolly shouldn’t be putting this out there because Elon Musk is going to steal this idea.

“No more Tesla for you, Mr. Musk?”
“Sadly, this is my last day. On the bright side, I’ve got an idea to start a Luis Garcia-filled baseball team.”

Sigh, until I have that money in hand, I’m gonna have to look at Luis Garcia for fantasy baseball. This Luis Garcia’s peripherals are 9.9 K/9,2.4 BB/9, 3.55 xFIP, and his fastball velocity is up. Last time I looked at him, his stats weren’t as good, but they’ve clearly bounced back recently. His career ERA is 3.44 in 196 1/3 IP with a 9.4 K/9. Only time that’s putting me to sleep is during his rock-a-bye pitching windup. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hey, Timmy, thanks for coming to see me in this old age home. Did you bring me the stewed carrots I asked for? Oh, great. What a pal. Let me take my teeth out so I can slurp on the soft carrots. I can’t believe how old I feel now. What’s that? Speak up! How old am I?! Same age I was five days ago, but it’s not how old I am. It’s how old I feel. Oh, yeah, I was spry duck just last week, but the first week of April’s starting pitching has aged me forty years in five days. I started the week remembering to go pee-pee and poo-poo in the toilet, and now I’m wearing diapers! Stupid starting pitching! Welp, we have one good starter this year, his name is Alek Manoah (6 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 4 walks, 7 Ks). Was watching Manoah last night and to say he looked good is somehow an understatement and an overstatement. He was unhittable, while also being nowhere near the plate for huge chunks of the game. It was not the best I had seen him — that was when he was interviewed with his mother and I was able to block him out of the shot with my hand. But for one magical night in April, we actually got a decent pitching line, so, ya know what? Alek Manoah looked as awesome as his mom, Aleka Momoah! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

This is the top 100 starters for 2022 fantasy baseball? This is the top 100 starters for 2022 fantasy baseball! Which means. Dot dot dot. This is the end of the 2022 fantasy baseball rankings. I can reclaim my fingers! Wait, I still have to do the top 100 overall and top 500 overall. Hmm, that was short-lived. Subscriptions are up and running, and they come with our Fantasy Baseball Draft War Room, now for auction leagues, snake leagues, Best Ball leagues and AL-Only and NL-Only leagues. Here’s Steamer’s 2022 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Hitters and 2022 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Pitchers. As always, my projections are included, and where I see tiers starting and stopping. If you want an explanation of tiers, go back to the top 10 for 2021 fantasy baseball and start this shizz all over again. Anyway, here’s the top 100 starters for 2022 fantasy baseball:

NOTE: All 2022 fantasy baseball projections are based on a 162-game season, and will be until we hear definitively there will be less games, due to the CBA. Also, I’m going on the assumption the NL is getting the DH.

NOTE II: All my rankings are currently available on Patreon for the price of a Starbucks coffee, if you get one of those extra grande frappuccino jobbers. Don’t wait for the rankings to come out over the next month, and get them all now.

NOTE III: Free agents are listed as just that and not yet projected. Once a guy signs, I will write out their blurb and add in projections, or remove them, if they sign in an unfavorable place. They are ranked currently where I think they might be if they sign on for a full-time job.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Slowly, paper extrudes from a fax machine. A hand brings it to a face and we read, “Need Joe R…an down at the Pentagon. Damn, we need toner! Joe R…an? Who the hell is that?! Oh, I know…” A chair swivels around to the CIA Director, he screams, “Send Joe Ryan (5 IP, 2 ER, 4 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 2.45) to the Pentagon! I can only assume they need a guy with a 10.2 K/9, 1.2 BB/9 — yowzas! — A 2.48 FIP, which is incredible. I can see why they want him. Sure, it’s only through 22 IP, but he had pinpoint command in the minors too — 1.6 BB/9 in Triple-A with the Rays before the trade to the Twins. Maybe he’s got the Rays’ secret sauce recipe for pitchers? Hey, Joe, you have the Rays’ secret sauce recipe for pitchers?” The CIA Director laughs before Joe can say anything, and continues, “Joe Ryan for 2022 fantasy, I expect you to have less ups and downs than most guys without a long track record. These command guys, I like a lot, me, uh, the CIA Director, and I don’t see the AL Central Intelligence Agency — that’s what it’s short for — getting much better, but I guess we don’t know yet. I mean, I know, because I’m the CIA Director and pulling strings like where free agents go is my job. Anyway, Joe Ryan get down to the Pentagon, they need you to figure out…” Reading the rest of the fax, “…how to launch a podcast!” And that’s how the CIA Director sent Joe Ryan to the Pentagon when the fax was asking for Joe Rogan. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Usually I take Saturday pretty light. Wash my hair, get a pedicure, the normal things, but holy schnikes?! Corbin Burnes did what? Mr. Burnes made a vest out of Cleveland. That’s what he did. On Saturday, Burnes went 8 IP, 0 ER, 0 hits, 1 walk, 14 Ks, ERA at 2.25, and Josh Hader (1 IP, 0 ER) finished the no-hitter. Can a guy win the Cy Young off of one start? We have a tool for the best starts of the year, and are you surprised to see Burnes in the top four? (Side note, interesting to see Triston McKenzie up there in the top 10. Side side note, lots of early in the year starts before they checked for Spider Tack. Side side side note, it was also before pitchers were exhausted. Side side side side, look at all those no-hitters.) As far as FIP is concerned, Corbin Burnes is having the best season since 2000. It’s not even close. It’s truly remarkable and if we talk about it from now until next March, we will not have talked about it enough. His 1.50 FIP is the best pitching season for a starter since 2000. The 2nd best is 2014 Clayton Kershaw with 1.81 FIP, and there’s only three starters below a 2.00 FIP. Of those, Corbin Burnes has the best K/9, and the 9th best K/9 since 2000. There’s no starter with a 12+ K/9 with a sub-2 FIP. His K/9 and BB/9 are 12.4 and 1.7 BB/9. Those Burnes numbers are legitimately some of the best I’ve ever seen. Let’s do a thought experiment: With deGrom injured-slash-saying-he’s-not-injured, there’s a table for one at the top of starters for 2022, does Corbin Burnes sneak into the number one slot for top starters for 2022 fantasy baseball? Even if deGrom’s healthy, I’m not sure he’s above Burnes for 2022 starters. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Go ahead, Mr. Wendle! Mr. Wendle, yeah! Lord, Mr. Wendle! If you didn’t know I was quoting Arrested Development, you’d think I was fornicating with someone named Mr. Wendle. You know Mr. Wendle is no bum. By the way, is it in poor taste to hand out B.U.M. equipment sweatshirts at a homeless shelter? Ya know what, prolly better you don’t answer. Yesterday, Joey Wendle (3-for-4, 6 RBIs) hit his 8th and 9th homer, about two weeks after I told you to drop him. Oopsie! Much more egregiously is the A’s and Rays screwed over Wendle so bad that he won’t be a free agent for the first time until he’s 34 years old. What a s’Wendle! Any hoo! Also, in this game, Austin Meadows (1-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs) hit his 22nd homer as he makes a case for himself in my fantasy team with Audrey and Jayne. Um, my Meadows fantasy team. Then, Jordan Luplow (2-for-4, 2 runs) hit his 8th homer, and I didn’t know what MLB team he was on, and I’m not even sure Jordan Luplow knew. Over on the O’s making the O face was Jorge Mateo (1-for-5, 2 RBIs) who hit his 3rd homer, and is hitting around .350 since his trade from the Padres to the O’s. With his 50-steal speed, he’s angling himself for a 2022 sleeper. For this year, I’d absolutely grab him but for SAGNOF; power has a face, and it’s not his. Finally, Cedric Mullins (2-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs) and Ryan Mountcastle (4-for-5, 3 runs) both hit their 24th homer. Not at the same time, that’s not allowed. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Since the Jays were calling up Vladimir Guerrero Jr. today, the Nationals and Angels thought it was a good idea to drop their own sizzle in low-key fashion like wearing an Elmo doll at the Met Gala.  If Carter Kieboom is Barbara Hershey to Vladimir Guerrero Jr.’s Bette Midler, then who is Luis Rengifo?  That jerk husband of Barbara Hershey’s who held her back all of those years?  Bette’s giant Marmaduke?  Is it embarrassing that I know Beaches by heart?  Not at all!  According to Prospect Mike, Carter Kieboom’s outlook is, “Kieboom is a plus-hit/plus-power shortstop who split time between High-A and Double-A in 2018. His numbers dipped in the more advanced league, but he still hit .260 with five homers.  15-20 homers is a realistic power ceiling and he won’t sell out for it, meaning a decent average as well.  I’ve also become a decent dart-thrower practicing on a picture of Grey.”  What the eff, my dude?  Carter doesn’t have great speed, which is a bit of a bummer since that always translates, but he could hit for power and average as a middle infidel.  Hopefully, this means the end of days for Brian Dozier.  Remember, this is the team that promoted and played Juan Soto last year.  Mean’s while, the Angels called up Luis Rengifo.  Doesn’t his last name look like an acronym of an obscenity on social media?  “You really think Killary would’ve been better?  RENGIFO, grandma!”  The biggest question for me with Rengifo is Brad Assmunch.  Does he even know what he has?  I highly doubt it.  Watch him play La Stella over Rengifo.  Here’s what Prospect Mike said, “Rengifo can hit from both sides and he can basically play anywhere on the field. There’s also just enough power to make him really interesting if he sticks in the middle infield. He’ll probably get written off as a super-utility player, but he has a disciplined approach (75 walks, 75 strikeouts across three levels). Oh, and he swiped 41 bags this year to go along with seven homers and a .299 batting average. I know you’re not supposed to scout stat lines…but damn, that’s almost as sexy as the thought of Grey being run over by a car.”  C’mon!  Rengifo and Kieboom’s projections are both at the Prospectonator.  They’re, hmm, how do I put this?  Interesting.  Surprised to see Rengifo ranked above Kieboom for projections.  Think I’d go the other way with them, but they are slightly different, based on needs.  I do know I needs me some upside and added them in multiple leagues.  ALL ABOARD THE UPSIDE TRAIN!  Chugga-chugga Shin-Soo Choo!  Chugga-chugga Shin-Soo Choo!  Chugga-chugga Shin-Soo Choo!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I haven’t slept since Red Dead 2 came out, so I’m probably going to confuse these Ranger prospects with actual Texas Rangers galloping around with Litchfield repeaters, shooting deer, and antagonizing passersby. There’s something about virtual cowboying that brings me joy. It’s all of the glory and none of the chafing! I’m rocking a $300 bounty in Strawberry, but we have business to take care of here and I’m willing to risk my hide for my tens of readers. We’ve reached the border of the AL West, and this Rangers system features a trio of Grade A outfield prospects inching their way closer to the bigs. After that, it gets a bit pitching heavy. So down a pint of whiskey, grab your revolver (aka PS4 controller), mount your horse (aka couch), and let’s ride through the 2019 Texas Rangers minor league preview!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s been a long off-season, but we still have some systems to preview. So today, I get back on the horse and dig into a talented Pittsburgh Pirates farm system. For years now the Pirates have done an excellent job of drafting, scouting, and developing talent. Unfortunately this post comes a few days before I attend some extended spring work down in Bradenton, Florida, the off-season home of the Pirates. Annually I’m down in the Bradenton area for a week or two to see my in-laws, and I always sneak away and catch a couple of Bradenton games, or at least make it to the Pirates facility about 5 miles down the road from LECOM Park. So all this to say, I get a decent amount of looks every year at the Pirates talent in the lower levels. Last year I got first hand looks at top pitching prospect Mitch Keller, underrated speedster Cole Tucker, draft-bust Will Craig, and 2015 first rounder Ke’Bryan Hayes. This year I’m hoping to get some looks at some of the members of the Pirates strong 2017 draft class, as well as J2 standouts like Sherten Apostel. Once I have more info on Apostel, I’ll share it, but info is limited. Today we focus more on the bigger names in the system, and those with shorter ETAs. Regardless of your flavor of prospect, there’s something for everyone in this Pittsburgh system. It’s the Pittsburgh Pirates Top Prospects for 2018 Fantasy Baseball.

Please, blog, may I have some more?