Please see our player page for Ryan Borucki to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

*spraypaints Foltynewicz incorrectly on the bumper of my car*  “Okay, Cougs, now back this car up over my head.  Why are you arguing with me?  I see the way you look at me when I burp in public, just back the damn car up over my head!  I’m looking for a visual metaphor here!”  So, how was your Monday?  Mine was just terrific!  Not as terrific as Ryan Borucki, apizzarently.  On my tombstone it’s going to read, “He died from a miserable September in his fantasy leagues, of course.  Dur.”  I mean, Jesus Aguilar Christmas Effin’ Christ, what in the holy name!  Okay, okay, OKAY!  Back to Borucki.  Yesterday, he went 8 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.86, which is a helluva lot better than Faultywhichwhich!  Borucki’s K-rate (6.1), his walk rate (2.8) and his 4.57 xFIP leave piles and piles to be desired.  However (throw out everything Grey just said!), the Stream-o-Nator does like his next start a teensiest bit, and I could see streaming him.  “Now back up the car!”  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Daydream Bieber is a homecoming KEEEEEEN-ing-ing-ing-iiiiing.  If you could’ve heard that in my head, you’d be like, “Damn, Grey’s got some pipes!”  I think I might be tone deaf.  Is there anyway to know for sure?  Because I hear myself and I sound fine, and then I hear Jennifer Hudson and I’m like, “I sound like her in my head.”  Is that tone deaf?   My dog, Ted, is colorblind.  In other words, Ted doesn’t discriminate.  Therefore, maybe tone deaf is the perfect set of ears because it doesn’t discriminate sounds.  Also, do you think my dog translates everything I say into barks?  I’m a curious person probably why I’m off the Mensa scale — or Womensa scale or non-binarysa scale.  Any hoosies!  Shane Bieber threw 6 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 11 Ks yesterday and dazzled again, though some of those dazzlers were mixed in with frowny faces — sad-dazzlers?  Sadazzlers?  Frownedazzlers?  Trapped myself into a portmanteau loop and there’s no way out!  I’d use the Stream-o-Nator for his upcoming starts, but for 2019 there’s very little to be pessimistic about with Bieber.  His 9.6 K/9, 1.7 BB/9 and 3.24 xFIP are things of beauty.  If he can do that in 2019, Bieber could easily back himself into a top 40 starter season and a fantasy number three with flashes of two.  I’m down for that even if there’s some frownedazzlers mixed in!  Sadazzlers?  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“That guy does not look familiar.”  “Which guy?”  “That guy on the mound.”  “The Wade Miley fella?”  “Yeah.”  “Did he used to serve us coffee at The Blue Danube?”  “I don’t think so.  That guy’s name was Ronnie.  And he had dreads.”  “But he was white.”  “Yeah, Ronnie was a white guy with dreads.  He looked like he had a smelly undercarriage.”  “I don’t disagree.  So… This guy… This Wade Miley guy… He just looks so unfamiliar.  He just threw a 6 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 5 Ks start against the Cubs with a 2.12 ERA.  Do you know him?”  “No, but ever since we were talking about a white guy with dreads I’ve wanted to sing Informer by Snow.” Wade Miley as an ace and Bumble profiles that read, “5′ 7″, 120 lbs., fitness model who loves cooking and cleaning and sex” are often very similar.  Expectations and reality don’t always run hand in hand.  Before picking up Miley, do me one favor.  Ask Edwin Jackson owners how the experience was owning him.  Though since they’re probably your competition they may lie to you.  Those bastards!  Maybe you can ask Jackson yourself since he’s probably on waivers.  Can Miley be lights out?  I suppose, there’s not much time left, but there’s nothing jumping out that says he’s suddenly a Cy Young contender.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’ve officially had it with head-to-head points leagues. That’s right. You heard me. I’ve finally encountered the straw that broke the camel’s back. Or should I say the Strawberry that broke the camel’s back since this is baseball. Or since this is Razzball perhaps I should say the Strawberry that did all my cocaine while I was taking a piss. I just can’t believe that he had the nerve to blame it on Lenny Dykstra. Speaking of Dykstra, have any of your heard him on Howard Stern the past year. The guy is seriously messed up.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Guess I pointed you to the wrong White Sox prospect in Friday’s Buy.  Hahaha, no.  I didn’t.  I pointed you to a top hitting prospect that can help you this year.  Michael Kopech is a rookie pitcher.  A boneheaded one.  He used to date the daughter of the crazy white lady from The Real Housewives of Atlanta, then he started that girl from Riverdale, and I guess when I say Kopech is boneheaded, I should explain I wouldn’t mind boneheading like him.  Yo dude is a baller!  He’s also legit dopey.  At one point, he broke his hand by punching his teammate.  This guy has years of ridiculousness headed our way, and we should be grateful for that.  As grateful because he’s the top pitching prospect on Prospect Ralph’s top 500 fantasy baseball prospects, and PR’s said, “Kopech is in my opinion the top ‘fantasy baseball’ pitching prospect in the game. What I mean by that is, on, say, a mainstream list (see: BA, BP, BABP, Fangraphs, etc.) they’ll focus more on the risk vs. upside balance.  Me, I’m going upside, as you always should with pitching prospects in fantasy.  Kopech has the potential to lead MLB in strikeouts one day, with his plus-plus triple digit fastball that runs in on righties, a plus slider that flashes plus-plus at times, and an improving changeup. Kopech has all-world stuff, unlike Grey who has all-stupid stuff.”  What the hell, brah?!  Real world comparison, Kopech is Syndergaard with command issues right now, but those could clear up quickly; he’s only 22.  He’s a grab in all leagues, but as I said in the opening, rookie pitchers provide headaches, so expectations in Czech.  (Damn, should’ve never bought that discounted Siri.)  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Psyche!  Before we get into the roundup, just wanted to point out our fantasy football leagues are currently signing up, you have a one in three shot of winning $250 (odds may vary depending on if you’re calculating odds correctly.)  Anyway II, the roundup:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As a Trevor Bauer investor this year I’m tempted to just write: &$*3$*@#& and that’s it. Since Grey was his biggest advocate before the season, I know he’d understand. Stash or Trash: Stash for now. He’s a top-3 Cy Young finalist if not for this injury and we’re waiting for more news. That dastardly Jose Abreu lined a pitch of Bauer’s ankle in their game on Saturday. A stress fracture often occurs due to repeated compressive force on a bone (often in the leg, foot or ankle.) This type of injury is common in frequent runners. Bauer’s was obviously caused by the velocity of Abreu’s line drive hitting at just the right spot. Here’s the bad news: the typical healing time for a stress fracture in your fibula is 6 weeks. However, everyone is different — some can need more time or less — it’s hard to predict really. I’m labeling Bauer a stash until we find out more. If we find out tomorrow that it isn’t a complete fracture or that he’s got that Adrian Peterson DNA he might be back sooner. Fill In: Tyler Glasnow (19.3%.) Let’s get this easy one pick up out of the way — if you’re in a league where Tyler Glasnow isn’t owned yet you need to remedy this situation. Glasnow is now back to being a starter after going from the Pirates to the Rays. He’s made three starts so far each one inning more than the last. 12 innings pitched total with 20 K’s to only 3 walks and 6 hits allowed? His next start will be his biggest test against the Red Sox. Why haven’t you hit CTRL-T yet?! 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hot, frisky 24 year olds gone wild on this week’s Sausage Pod! That’s right, B_Don and Donkey break down the pitching matchup of potential 2019 post hype fantasy baseball sleeper Lucas Giolito against struggling Yankees ace Luis Severino. The dudes also take a gander at the bat of mythical Japanese Babe Ruth, Shohei Ohtani. Find out what to expect from the 24 year old men down the stretch and into next year.

Then, Willy Adames, Franmil Reyes and Hunter Renfroe highlight a batch of intriguing names in the pickups segment. Oh and Justin Bour was traded to the Phillies, surprise! Keep grinding thru the dog days folks, the finish line and your immortal championship are now in sight!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Rick Porcello said of his catcher, Sandy Leon, “He’s the best catcher I’ve ever thrown to.  Period.”  It’s a shame people don’t end include other forms of punctuation when speaking.  “I am the Red Sox ace.  Question mark.  No, I forgot about Chris Sale.  Period.  Actually, exclamation mark.  The best Red Sox pitchers.  Colon.  Not Bartolo.  Period.  I’m going to list them.  Period.  Okay.  Comma.  Damn.  Comma.  I apostrophe V-E confused myself.”  Yesterday, Porcello threw a sparkler — 7 IP, 2 hits, 0 walks, 1 ER, 10 Ks, ERA at 4.04, and roped a double to right, which is fun in a dog on rollerblades-type way, but is kinda irrelevant.  What’s less irrelevant, Rick Porcello is pitching better this year than his Cy Young year, though with less ERA to show for it, obviously.  That could change in the final six weeks if he finds his groove.  Period.  Ya know what, exclamation mark.  Strike that, interrobang.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

And out like a Jake Lamb after season ending shoulder surgery. Stash or Trash: Trash. If you’re in a dynasty league, however, I’d definitely stash Lamb. He’s expected to be ready for spring training 2019. Lamb is still only 27 and has 100/30/100 potential with upside for more while hitting right in the thick of that awesome Diamondbacks lineup. In my opinion, if they can keep the majority of their roster intact the Diamondbacks have World Series potential in 2019. Fill In: Wilmer Flores (6.9%.) As a part time player the past three seasons, Flores really has some solid seasons. In those three seasons he averaged onl 375 ABs with 17 HRs and 53 RBI with a .754 OPS. With the Mets throwing in the towel after making 0 moves of significance at the deadline, Flores now finds himself batting third in the Mets lineup and hitting pretty well since the start of July: .308 AVG, 11 XBHs, 14 runs, 12 RBI. Flores also has that dual 1B/3B eligibility that makes him even more valuable.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hello, I am Hunter Renfroe.  I have homered in four straight games.  I am also your father that is why I play for the Padres.  Please, call me daddy.  Not sure why I’m talking like a robot.  Elon Musk has bought my body and repurposed my soul.  By the by, you know what’s fun to do, next time you’re in a quiet place where people will be able to hear your phone, have Siri say, “You’re the reason the robots take over the world in the future.”  And have Siri keep saying it while you look at the person next to you, then finally say to your phone, “Me or this guy?”  Any hoo!  Hunter Renfroe (2-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 12th homer) sent the Padres into the Space Force!  He has power (still makes no sense he’s hitting third, don’t care what he’s done), and I’d grab him if you need that.  Him and Franmil Reyes (3-for-5, 2 runs and his 9th homer, and third homer in four games) have put on a show these last few days.  Not sure why they’d hit the Brewers hard, they just traded for Jonathan Schoop.  He’s a good pitcher, right?  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?