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The More Manoah

September 14, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 117 Comments

by: Grey

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Yesterday, Alek Manoah went 8 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, zero walks, 10 Ks vs. the Rays, i.e., they’re supposed to be good. Alek Manoah has a 3.39 ERA, and a mom that’s a 10. Sign me up (for a spot in the mailbox outside their house)! “Hello, Ms. Alek Manoah, can I call you Alek Mommamia? Alek Womanoah? Why are you walking faster? I just wanna chat!” I scream from the mailbox. Call me a Cougar Chaser because I chase cougars! Any hoo! Alek Manoah is doing this as a rookie. Um, how about pretty unheard of. He is the 1st Jays’ pitcher to throw eight scoreless with one hit, zero walks and 10 Ks. Again, that’s against the best AL team. He tied Trevor Rogers for most 6+ innings starts for a rookie this year. His slider was dropping five inches more last night than when he first came up. He looks like a young Lance Lynn if Lance Lynn hung out with Action Bronson. For 2022, he looks like a ready-made horse, even though he will have roughly 100 IP under his belt. Right now, he’s rocking a 9.8 K/9 and a 3-ish BB/9, and for 2022 I’d put him around similar numbers, but with better command upside. So, roughly a number two fantasy starter who will have moments much better and worse. In only year two! Alek Mommamia, I love what you’ve produced! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Alejandro Runs Two Circle Kirks Around The Bases

September 8, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 139 Comments

by: Grey

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If you can look at how Alejandro Kirk is built and not giggle, you are a much better person than me. How do you be so good? Sometimes I’m very left side of my brain, sometimes I’m very right side of my Brian. What do you use to shut off the whispers that Alejandro Kirk looks like a cross between a baseball player and a tree stump? An adorable tree stump, naturally. Like one used in glamour photos for a young family before a casino moves in down the street and steals all of mom’s attention with keno. Yesterday, Alejandro Kirk (3-for-4, 3 runs) hit his 6th and 7th homer, hitting .290, and has three homers in the last two games. You getting my one thousand percent guarantee he’s a hot schmotato. Alejandro Kirk’s 2022 fantasy value? He would be a top ten catcher overall if he got the at-bats. If you’ve seen his body, you know he has no ABs. I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist. Like him at a buffet. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hey Kids, It’s Story Time

June 24, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 363 Comments

by: Grey

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On my teams with Juan Soto, Trevor Story and Cody Bellinger, there’s been very little to celebrate. I paid $15 for Tom Arnold to send me a Cameo video telling me it would be okay. You remember Tom Arnold: Guy who is famous for sleeping with Roseanne Barr. Honestly, that should make someone famous. That and getting your junk Ginzu’d are valid reasons for fame. More so than your sister was in a sex tape. If I were ranking them for fame, 1A) Marrying Roseanne, 1B) Getting Junk Ginzu’d, Z) Sister was in a sex tape. Any hoo! Trevor Story (2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 7th and 8th homer) had a big game — on the road! — and maybe finally there’s light at the end of the tunnel. As Geoff and I discussed on this week’s podcast, Story’s Launch Angle hasn’t been great. He’s hitting way too many ground balls, and pulling everything. The result: Pitch on the outside corner, and he rolls over it to the shortstop. Maybe there’s a fire lit under him with the thought of getting out of Colorado. Think this could be a boon for his value: If trading for Story, the team will be contending, so the lineup will be better. Not all stadiums are bad. You telling me Story in Yankee Stadium is bad? Are you telling me this? Don’t tell em this. Also, the reinvigoration of a pennant chase can activate him like charcoal. Either Coors or elsewhere, he needs to correct his Launch Angle, and hopefully yesterday is the right direction. My other solution is spitting blow darts into his ribs while he’s at-bat, so he lowers his back elbow and it forces him into an uppercut swing. But that might be illegal. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Toronto 8 HRs in Boston To Show They Ain’t Dunedin

June 14, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 537 Comments

by: Grey

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Welcome to the class where we discuss the planets — Science class? I don’t know, I’m just your substitute teacher, Mr. Albright. We’re going to put aside your syllabus, and teach you how all planets revolve Vladimir Guerrero Jr.‘s planet, IncomingTripleCrownium. Yesterday, IncomingTripleCrownium went 3-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and hit his 21st homer, as he hits .344. Does planet Daddy Vladdy revolve around IncomingTripleCrownium, and how is that possible since IncomingTripleCrownium is an offshoot of Daddy Vladdy? I don’t know, which is why I’m merely a substitute, and was told I would never be hired for a full-time position. IncomingTripleCrownium spins on its axis, without an absurd amount of spin, a totally natural spin, and that gave way to a Semien explosion not seen since a 14-year-old boy spent a little too long in the bathroom with Marcus Semien (2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs), hitting his 15th homer. Hey, just had a thought, whatever happened with George Springer? Never the hoo! The next big orbital sphere outside the IncomingTripleCrownium gravitational pull was two homers from Teoscar Hernandez (3-for-6, 6 RBIs, 9th and 10th homer). I already took the L on my Teoscar schmohawk post, though, if being honest, I think I might’ve taken that L a bit prematurely. Guess we’ll see. Or we already saw. See? Saw? Get off the bench, Miguel Sano, I’m trying to get down! Next up on the flow chart of planets moving around IncomingTripleCrownium is Lourdes Gurriel Jr. (3-for-5, 2 runs and his 6th homer). Please get hot, Lou-Gu-Ju, please. Then, if we’re counting orbital rings, like the toilet in my college dorm, Bo Bichette (4-for-5, 5 runs, 3 RBIs) grabbed a slam (13) and legs (8), and is it going to be weird when I try to draft two Blue Jays hitters in the first five picks next year? Finally, two smaller planets, that many confuse for large rocks, Rowdy Tellez (1-for-1, 2 RBIs, and his 4th homer) and Cavan Biggio (2-for-4, 2 runs) hit his 5th homer. To celebrate Biggio’s return, his father Craig Biggio called him after the game to tell him, “Stick your elbow pad into a pitch or change the name on your jersey.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Three Rips Van Winker

June 7, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 415 Comments

by: Grey

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You heard of Mrs. Dash? An all-powerful seasoning that you sprinkle on anything, and it makes it better. It’s crack…for your tongue! (May not be the actual slogan.) Now, if you swing already produces a great hard hit rate, you don’t want to tweak it too much. It’s already tasty. Only thing you can sprinkle on it to elevate it is a little bit more Launch Angle. Jesse Winker (3-for-4, 6 RBIs and 3 homers (15, 16, 17), hitting .350) is a classic example of what happens when a guy who hits the ball hard, tweaks his swing just a tad so the ball coming off his bat is just tad more elevated. Winker didn’t go full-Gallo on his Launch Angle. Just a smidge. A dash of wonderful, which if why I will now call him Mr. Dash. He elevates at the dish, and the crack of his bat is crack…for your fantasy team! Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Philadelphia Hit 7 Bombs But An Alec Ain’t One

June 2, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 460 Comments

by: Grey

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I’m not a conspiracy theory guy. Sure, I think Big Onion made onion rings circular rather than like French fries because they want you to use more onions with each fried treat, but other than that, and maybe 1,500 other conspiracies, I am pretty grounded in reality. Okay, I also expect to see Kate Winslet jumping on a trampoline at a Sixers’ halftime dressed as Mare of Easttown, but reality. It’s where I am, except I truly believe Great American Ballpark is somehow stuck in 2019. Balls are still flying out there. Maybe it’s the one park where they didn’t secretly instill a humidor. Either way, yesterday was bomb-ass Philly over spaghetti in Cincy. Andrew McCutchen (2-for-3, 4 RBIs, hitting .209) hit his 8th and 9th homer, and finally moved out of the leadoff spot. Great Awakenings, literally with Joe Girardi. Next up, Odubel Herrera (3-for-6, 3 runs, 3 RBIs, 3rd and 4th homer) was moved to the top of the order, and should now move on even the shallowest league’s radar. Then, Rhys Hoskins (2-for-4, 3 RBIs) hit his 12th homer, and he’s filling in for Bryce quite nicely as the three-hole hitter — Rhys is Brycely? Hmm, not bad. Even Ronald Torreyes (2-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs, 1st homer) got into the act. And I thought Torreyes were just in a sunken place. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Arm On, Arm On, Arm On, Arm On, Arm On Kaprielian

May 27, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 415 Comments

by: Grey

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Yesterday, James Kaprielian went 7 IP, 0 ER, 2 hits, 2 walks, 4 Ks, ERA at 1.53, and it’s time to dig in. Luckily, I watched him since it was an afternoon game. Looks like his sum is greater than his parts. Like a Honda. Ya know, no one ever talks about parts being better than a whole, which is always more likely. Like Tenet. Like The Irishman. Like a seven-course dinner anywhere. Amuse bouche? I’ll amuse you! Apps? Perhaps! Entree? Entry into my mouth! Cheese course? Okay, eff off. Mid-dinner sorbet to cleanse my palate? No, just bring me the damn dessert! So, Kaprielian appears to have a home run problem, but the Colossal-seum will help with that, and facing the M’s didn’t hurt. The command will be low 3-ish BB/9 with a 8.7-9.1 K/9. That’s roughly a high-3 to low 4 ERA with neutral luck, and a Streamonator call. Whispers softly, “He’s a mediOAKer starter.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Charles Barkley Sums Up Tigers’ Starter And M’s Bats In No-Hitter As “They’re Both Turnible”

May 19, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 422 Comments

by: Grey

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They should have a contest where one lucky fan tries to no-hit the Mariners. Yesterday, Spencer Turnbull no-hit the Mariners (9 IP, 0 ER, 2 walks, 9 Ks, ERA at 2.88), because the Mariners are being no-hit every day of the week that ends in Y. Armando Galarraga called and said big whoop. Yo, he sounds bitter. Didn’t they give Armando Galarraga a car after his kinda perfect game? They should give Spencer Turnbull a salmon thrown to him by someone in Seattle wearing rubber boots. How about teams that have a team batting average under .205 get to use the juiced ball? Sure, it’s an arbitrary rule, but so is the dropped third strike rule if you think about it. So, I hope you used the Streamonator that told you to start Turnbull. Beyond that, Turnbull looks like he’s, uh, turned a corner. He’s throwing his offspeed stuff more, and results are good: 8.1 K/9, 2.1 BB/9, 2.75 FIP, so close to neutral luck outside of home runs allowed, but he doesn’t allow homers ever. He’s not an ace, but that’s a usable number three to four, and since the no-hitter happened after I wrote the original opening, you’re getting a special treat today. A double lede! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Fantasy Baseball Streamers, Week 8: Ride the Wave

May 16, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Streamers, Fantasy Baseball Two Start Pitchers | 4 Comments

by: The Real Joey Bart

I’d be lying to you if I said I wasn’t nervous about last week’s streamers when I wrote that article. Luckily, it ended up being a terrific week for us, with all of our recommendations pitching well. JT Brubaker, Luis Garcia, Yusei Kikuchi, Taijuan Walker, and Adbert Alzolay led the way, making it one of my best pieces of the year! That has us riding the wave at a rapid speed, having just one poor week through the first six weeks of the season. There’s a lot I like this week, too, so let’s go ahead and get into it!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Getting Ahead in Head to Head, Week 6; Duff Man approved, Oh Yeah!

May 13, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Head-to-Head Leagues | 4 Comments

by: NateMarcum

If we have learned anything from the first 38+ games of the year, it is that we should always be flexible. Not, being able to bend over and tie your shoe without pulling an adductor muscle flexible, but somewhere around there. Isn’t it amazing that we, the fantasy community, have learned that there are 163 muscles in the abdomen alone somehow…which makes sense when they are being pulled on a daily basis. The 13-year old in me would have went with the groin muscle for a joke like that, but I have grown up quite a bit. Plus, I make that joke with my wife, who then proceeds to call that a “minor” strain, and I cry myself to sleep. Let me rub the sleep/shame out of my eye and present to you, Week 6:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Seattle Ready To Rip Off Their Hulk Logan Gilbertmania Shirt

May 13, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 523 Comments

by: Grey

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Roofies are real and they are not good. When you wake up after five hours and you’re missing a kidney? That’s a roofie. They’re a rookie pitcher who just decimates your ratios and leaves you wandering around for a light switch, only to realize you no longer have an arm. Though, you do have a hand, which is just puzzling. Yo, you T-Rex? With that said, rookie pitcher phenom Logan Gilbert is coming up. Prospect Itch just gave you the skinny, “If you’re going to hold one pitching prospect hoping he might come up and help your club, Gilbert should be that gottfried. He’s got a big league starter’s pitch mix and command, and he’ll be coming up to a hot club with pretty strong defense in a nice pitcher’s park. Speaking of which, I’d like to park my Subaru on Grey.” Okay, not sure what that’s about. I don’t say this lightly, but Logan Gilbert could win the AL ROY. Will he? What, I should sell my soul for future advice about a stupid MLB award? Get out of here! You sell your soul if you want to know! I’m just saying Gilbert’s plus command and strikeout ability makes him a must grab. I did in my RCL, and I would do it again! Though, I’m only in one RCL, so not sure how I can do it again. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Gallen and MadBum Leave Braves Dizzy and Daffy

April 26, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 620 Comments

by: Grey

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Congrats to Madison Bumgarner on his no-hitter (7 IP, 0 ER, 0 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 6.31) that isn’t counted by MLB because MLB doesn’t think 7-inning games are real things after making 7-inning games a real thing. MLB where logic goes to die, then Rob Manfred comes along, picks up logic, and chucks it into the garbage. The real story yesterday might have been the Braves who managed one hit in 14 innings. Yo, can I get a woof? In the 1st game daffy’ing the Braves was Zac Gallen (7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, zero walks, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.16) as he threw a complete game shutout, which I guess gets an asterisk, too. MLB, embarrassing asterisks since 1961. Gallen should get a hairline fracture in his forearm more often. Maybe shave his other arm’s hair into a hairline too. Can you have too many hairlines? Can he shave hairlines into his legs too? What order on a waxing menu is “shaving a hairline into one’s leg?” A Brazilian nut? A Nice, but pronounced like the city in France, so it sounds like knees? Does the waxing menu have legs options? Someone who grooms their legs, let me know. Gallen is doing exactly what he does every year — 10.5-ish K/9, goofy command, and a 2-ish ERA. Pretty impressive how a hairline fracture in his arm didn’t slow him one bit, but it’s sidelining Cody Bellinger for weeks. Cool, fun stuff that isn’t causing me to have an ulcer at all. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?