Howdy, Razzfriends! I want to put it on the record that I do not have testicles (in the literal sense). However, I try to empathize with the plight of those who get hit in the Crotch metropolitan area. Whether you sympathize or empathize, you probably felt something for Lars Nootbaar when he took a ball […]
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Cam Gallagher
Please see our player page for Cam Gallagher to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
Soto You Juan To See A Blockbuster Trade?
August 3, 2022 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 326 Commentsby: Grey
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Engine revs. It’s the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile. Only instead of a Oscar Mayer hat on its front hood, it’s wearing a Padres cap. It’s staring down a lonely country road. Directly, a mile down, aimed right at it is the Dodgers’ team bus. The Dodgers’ team bus revs.
A half mile in front of each of them, at the midpoint is “1st place in the NL West.” What we have here is a game a chicken. Who will get there first? Behind the Dodgers’ team bus wheel is Magic Johnson. Behind the Padres’ pimped-out Weinermobile is the San Diego Chicken. “You’re going mano a chicken? With the Chicken?! This is not a game you want to play, Magic?” That’s the actor who played Magic in the Showtime series on HBO shouting at Magic. “A Showtime series on HBO? Are you talking riddles, Albright?!” That’s the voice inside my head. Back to the white hot asphalt! The San Diego Chicken guns it towards the Dodgers’ team bus! Magic slams down the gas!
Careening down the road, the Chicken bawks, “They need to lose some extra weight!” To get up to speed, the Padres throw out MacKenzie Gore, C.J. Abrams, Robert Hassell III, James Wood and Jarlin Susana. For Magic to get the Dodgers to increase speed, he throws out an anecdote about him hugging Isiah Thomas at half court. “You need more speed, Magic!” The actor who played Magic in the Showtime HBO series screams. Magic says, “Have you heard about the one of me and Clyde the Glide?” It’s not enough! The San Diego Chicken is the type that drives right towards a big trade and waits for the other team to swerve. It ain’t afraid — it accepts that Gore is sometimes necessary.
So, Juan Soto goes to the Padres. They have Manny Machado, Fernando Tatis Jr. and Sexy Dr. Pepper? Um…
Juan Soto, Fernando Tatis Jr., Manny Machado, all in these jerseys pic.twitter.com/gR4OYgreTr
— Razzball (@Razzball) August 2, 2022
Seriously…
— Razzball (@Razzball) August 2, 2022
Like seriously seriously…
— Razzball (@Razzball) August 2, 2022
Fun the Jewels, Macho Manny and Sexy Dr. Pepper. Guys and five lady readers, I am doing a horny. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?Happy Saturday, Razzball Folks! The All-Star break is upon us, and we have a record low number of bodies that have hit the floor due to injury. However, we have a record number of folks on the IL because of COVID-19 in the “vaccine avoidance” category. Specifically, the Kansas City Royals have 10 unvaccinated players, […]
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Ambulance Chasers: Catching A Case
March 5, 2022 | 2022 Fantasy Baseball, Fantasy Baseball Injury Report | 1 Commentby: keelinbillue
Razzlings, While the first two series of the MLB regular-season are cancelled, there is hope yet in these Razzhalls. RazzSlam has been chugging along. Additionally, The Great Fantasy Baseball Invitational (TGFBI) began this week. Most of the writers are participating in TGFBI as well as RazzSlam. While we have yet to see any baseball action, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Put On Your Buy Tool Belt To Naylor
September 4, 2020 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 180 Commentsby: Grey
(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY YESTERDAY ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $5/MONTH.)
Josh Naylor was gently touched on by me when he was traded from the Padres to the Indians, like the Padres gently touch on the Indians while playing Cowboys and Indians. *phone rings* “Hello, yes, that’s me. What’s that? I’ve been cancelled? I see. No, no, it’s understandable. Hey, I had a good run.” Welp, before I get out of here, Josh Naylor is only 23 years old, and doesn’t get nearly the love one with his type of power should get. You don’t have to be a carpenter to Naylor! *phone rings* “Hello…You again? I know I was cancelled, but I thought I could finish up prior to–Keep it short? Okay, like Al Pacino. What?! That was a short joke. They’re not allowed either? Oh c’mon…” Whispers, “Your mom…What? Did I say ‘c’mon your mom?’ Uh, yeah.” Damn, I just got cancelled while being cancelled. Any hoo! The Indians said Naylor would play every day. His last Triple-A year shows what he’s capable of: 10 HRs, .314 in 54 games. His Launch Angle is rather flat, and I’d love to see him hit more fly balls. That’s the only way to Naylor! *phone rings* “Ugh…Yes, I’m done.” Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? COVID Decides To Use Chapman As An Opener
July 13, 2020 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 77 Commentsby: Grey
Aroldis Chapman tested positive for Covid and has mild symptoms. Aroldis was reading a radar gun, when he said, “Damn, I haven’t thrown 101 in so long,” then he realized he wasn’t reading a radar gun. This is not great news. Zack/Zach Britton would fill in if Aroldis can’t get back on the field in time for Re-Opening Day. (I’m trying to make Re-Opening Day happen. Is it obvious/working?) I’m hesitant about moving Aroldis down in my rankings, because he only needs — what, two throwing sessions to be ready? Seems like he could be back by Re-Opening Day, or maybe a day or two past Re-Opening Day or three days past Re-Opening Day (is it a thing yet?). Anyway, here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball:
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Wood Solid, Nails Down First Win
August 3, 2019 | 2019 Fantasy Baseball, Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 18 Commentsby: Dan Pants
Alex Wood looked solid as oak in his second start of the year since coming off the IL with back issues and pitched six and two thirds innings allowing just four hits and two earned runs while walking one and striking out five to notch his first win the year. Welcome back, Alex! Also, me. For those of you who follow my career closely (hi mom), I missed a few weeks there due to some mandatory volunteer work aboard the Sea Org. Turns out I’m starting the third level of my bridge in the church of Scientology and they recommended a full disconnect from fantasy baseball. But I’m back and stronger than ever before. My thetans have never been clearer and I’m pretty sure I can tell players to homer with my mind now. That’s right I told Mike Trout to do that. But back to Alex Wood! After an underwhelming debut versus Colorado last week (4.2, 7 hits, 2 ER, BB, 4 K), Wood returned looking like the pitcher the Reds have waited four months for with the 6.2 inning gem against his former team. Revenge game! Wood must have had an axe to grind. Outside of a couple solo homers surrendered, Alex limited the damage in a tough road assignment against one of the leagues best offensive teams. I’m buying Wood! It’s cherry, you guys! Is that enough wood puns for you, or wood you like more? Oak-key dokey, Alex gets the Cubs next week and I’d go out on a limb and pick up Wood if he’s still available!
Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball:
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2016 Minor League Preview: Kansas City Royals
February 14, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Prospects | 51 Commentsby: Geoff
It’s been a long time coming for the Kansas City Royals, but they finally tasted the sweet fizz of championship champagne last fall, and it was all due to Jonny Gomes. I’m not sure if you know this, but he’s the kind of guy you want to go to war with. Hacksaw Jonny musings aside, the Royals built a winner the old fashioned way. And by old fashioned I mean good drafting, solid player development, and excellent trading. In the process, they’ve graduated quite a few players onto their major league squad, traded some for established vets, and let others take the time needed to fully develop. The aftermath is there isn’t a ton of sexy fantasy prospects anymore, but the farm’s not barren, and there are some really intriguing players in the low minors. Dayton Moore and his constituents stuck to their philosophy, and in the end they’re the poster children for why prospects matter. Just ask Baseball America!
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