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Stephen Strasburg returned yesterday in case you’re living under a rock that doesn’t get the MLB package.  Reminds me of a line Selig uses on his wife, “Hey, baby, wanna see the MLB package?”  What can I say about Strasburg that hasn’t been said before?  That he stinks.  That hasn’t been said before.  It’s also not true; probably why it hasn’t been said before.  He can translate Pig Latin into Ancient Sumerian.  That’s never been said before.  Also, not true, but whatevs.  If Strasburg is available in your league, I’m guessing you’re in a ten team league where it’s you vs. nine alias you made up.  Hey, whatever it takes to win, right?  But if he’s available, grab him.  I imagine he’ll be fine this year if a bit more hype than is actually warranted.  I mean, in roto leagues, is he really changing your ratios that are from 1300 innings with twenty of his own innings?  No, probably not.  Oh, and he threw five shutout innings in last night’s game.  Yeah, he’s good.  Well, that’s been said before.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Psyche!  Before we jump into the roundup, just wanted to say our fantasy football site has been getting updated, but sometimes when you switch servers (as we did last week), it takes a bit for your browser to clear cache or cookies or something that I don’t fully understand.  The site should be up to date now.  If it’s not showing a post newer than last week, please tell me in the comments.  Thanks, friend.  Anyway II, the roundup:

Jason Kipnis – 1-for-3 in his return.  Before his hammy/oblique injuries, he was knocking seeds all over the field like an Amish farmer after a 12-pack of Red Bull.

Kosuke Fukudome – When he gets hot, he gets scorching and he now has homers in two consecutive games.  Roll out the red carpet!  And I’m not referring to Joan from Mad Men.

Carlos Carrasco – Will miss all of 2012 with Tommy John surgery.  A representative of the Mayans said, “You ain’t gonna miss anything.”

Shin-Soo Choo – Said he will return on September 13th.  I don’t care.  I mean, I care enough to not care, if that makes sense.  Choo’s hurt me this year!  My wounds are fresh!  I’m thinking of taking him to small claims court where this Indians middle reliever, who came in after Hagadone, will be presiding.

Fausto Carmona – 1 1/3 IP, 7 ER.  Seems odd to make a deal with the devil and tell him you don’t need his help after September 5th.

Drew Pomeranz – Will make his MLB debut on Sunday vs. the Reds.  So why do you care?  I’m not sure.  Maybe you’re related to Pomeranz.  Hey, Stew Pomeranz, thanks for reading!  Pomeranz was a first round pick in 2010 and has a 1.78 ERA in his first 20 pro starts with a big time K-rate.  But, and unless you’re an alien there’s always a but, he’s very young and will start his home games in Coors.  In deep keepers, sure, take a flyer with him for your bench.  Everyone else, I’d let the schmohawk in your league who wears a jersey of a team he doesn’t like to the draft to throw everyone off take the risk.  You know, the guy too smart for his own good.

Rickie Weeks – Could return this weekend.  Or The Weeknd, if you’re into R&B.

Rick Porcello – 6 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 1 K.  You know what Porcello is good for?  Inconsistency and no Ks.  Sorry, sometimes the truth hurts, Rakim.

Brett Myers – 7 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 4 Hits, 6 Ks.  Last time Myers had a four-hitter he ended up with a restraining order.

Jeff Niemann – 4 2/3 IP, 7 ER.  Fellow -mann’s, Jordan and Horace, are none too impressed and neither am I.  Frank Herrmann, “Don’t forget me!”  Who are you?

C.J. Wilson – 9 IP, 0 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks.  Remind me to never doubt a reliever turned starter.  Seriously, make Kevin Gregg a starter and he’ll have a 2.00 ERA.

David Murphy – 4-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 9th homer.  The other day I said something like Murphy goes through stretches where he should be owned in all leagues.  And that’s me paraphrasing me!

Jon Lester – 7 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 11 Ks.  Now has an ERA of 2.93 on the year and a 1.19 WHIP.  Seems like he’s gotten so good that he’s taken for granted and forgotten when the best pitchers in baseball are talked about.  Then again, I try not to watch ESPN, where they probably have 30 minute segments during each Sportscenter about Sawx pitchers.

Josh Beckett – Turns out he had an ankle sprain, then he didn’t have an ankle sprain and now he has one again.  One thing he definitely doesn’t have is a decisive doctor.   Beckett will miss one start and he’s downgrading Al Bumbry’s mint rookie card to a nickel in his baseball card magazine.

Dustin Pedroia – The Sawx scored 14 runs and the Sparky Anklebiter went 0-for-5.  Ticker tease!

Marco Scutaro – 4-for-5, 4 RBIs, 2 runs.  Now 7 for his last 12.  Marco…Scutaro…Just pops up in the most unlikely places (when you close your eyes in a pool).

Mike Leake – 9 IP, 2 ER, 3 baserunners, 6 Ks.  He was one out from a one-hitter shutout when LaHair moussed him.

Bobby Parnell – Gave up 2 runs as he blew the save, but the Mets went on to win the game.  Doesn’t it seem that when a team rallies after a blown save that the team is less inclined to worry about the closer blowing the game originally?  Maybe it’s just confirmation bias.  (<–Thanks, Psych 101!)

Jorge Posada – 1-for-3 with his 13th homer as Jesus sat, which is nowhere near as hip as Jesus walks.

Brett Gardner – 1-for-3 with his 7th homer and 43rd steal for the slam & legs.  He’s obviously nowhere as valuable as Ellsbury this year, but I still have my delusions that he can be one of these years.

Jake Peavy – 6 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 9 Ks.  That looks like the Peavy of old… Oh, I know.  He was facing the Twins in the Hubert H. Homerfree Retrodome.

Alex Rios – 1-for-4 with a homer and he’s batting .455 in the last week.  If he got hot for the final three weeks it wouldn’t shock me.  Whatever he can do to pull the wool over people’s eyes for next year he’ll do it.  I can see it now.  Random Commenter in March, “Hey, Grey, what do you think of Rios?  While he was one of the worst players and human beings for five months, he was good last September.”

Jason Motte – Salas pitched in the 7th inning and Motte got the save.  The closer role has been clinched!…Then Motte gave up a run.  So I’d look at Motte first, but there’s no way of knowing which way the wind’s going to blow La Russa’s feathered locks.

Ramon Ramirez – Speaking of closers, everyone’s pointing at Sergio Romo and he pitched the 8th inning while Ram-Ram got the save.  This is an obviously fluid situation that needs plastic bed sheets.

Dee Gordon – 3-for-5 with his 16th steal.  I guess you don’t need steals.  Must be nice being like the little Monopoly man with steals hanging out of your tuxedo.  Ooh, look at me, I have Boardwalk and Park Place and steals.

Vance Worley – 6 IP, 2 ER, 10 baserunners, 6 Ks.  ERA is now 2.86 on the year and his record is 11-1.  Good enough to make a Philly fan puke on someone.  In a good way.

Brad Lincoln – 6 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks.  Back in June when he was first called up, I made him a Buy.  You can look it up!  Since then, haven’t really talked about him.  He now has a 3.53 ERA in 35 2/3 innings with a 1.18 WHIP and he’s been much better as a starter than a long reliever as the Pirates used him for a bit.  His Ks are a bit pedestrian and he grew his beard because some letter written by an 11-year-old.  You are your own boss, Lincoln!  I could see streaming him for the reminder of the season with the right matchups.

Ryan Doumit – 1-for-4 with a homer.  On Monday, he went 3-for-4.  Ryan Without-Mitt usually can hit; he can’t usually stay healthy.  That’s his caveat for our Latin American readers.

Jose Tabata – Has a fracture in his hand.  Or as they say in Brad Hand’s household, a fractured last name.

  1. BlinkULDHC says:

    I’ve been struggling to get production out of 2B all year. I’ve got Kelly Johnson, and it might be a dumb question, but do I replace him?

    Kipnis, Murphy, Altuve, Hudson, Espinosa are available, and the rest of my team is average/balanced.

  2. BlinkULDHC says:

    Btw, I just realized that that’s David Murphy that’s in your post… so scratch “Murphy” off my list of 2B possibilities.

    I was gonna say….I thought Daniel Murphy was DL’d, and how did I not pick him up over Kelly Johnson?

  3. Hi Grey —

    If I’m just about on pace for innings in my 20-team roto league, is Beachy’s start tonight @PHI a pass? He did OK the one time he pitched in that park (6 IP, 2 ER) but it’s still one of the places that scares me to start visiting pitchers. What’s your take?

  4. For those speculating saves for the Giants, don’t read too much into Ramirez’s save. Bochy brought in Lopez in the ninth who walked a batter, then he took him out for Casilla, who walked a batter, then hit a batter, then brought in Ramirez who finally got the deal done. As a Giants’ fan, I had to endure this garbage of a ninth. they are done for the year, and probably won’t have too many save opps. Hey, at least we got lucky and won last year.

  5. Oilcan Giuseppe says:

    Grey:10 team 8×8(IP,QS,K/9)….start Beachy today @PHI?

    how about Oswalt?

    also,12 team points league….drop Elvis for Gordon?


  6. AL KOHOLIC says:

    @Asdrubal Bastardo: yeah wish the reds could get lucky

  7. neogonzo mourning says:

    i feel like Zach Britton has a chance today against the hungover Yankees. you have 2 hours to dissuade me!

  8. Matt Damon says:


    Was made an offer in a keeper league where I end up with Tommy Hanson, who is a 20th rounder next year. Do I pull the trigger, or do you see a call to Dr. Andrews in the future?

  9. WhampWhamp says:

    grey great stuff. Kipnis for Ryan Roberts? also for a purely era and whip play who out of these three do you start Hamels @MIlL, Marcum vs Phil, Lincecum LAD, obviously all good but really only need one start who is the guy.

  10. vinko says:

    @AL KOHOLIC: Must get rid of Krusty first!

  11. Rgp says:

    Who gets more sbs down the stretch?
    McCoy or ezequiel c?

    Deep AL only…

  12. Eng says:

    Start [email protected] ‘Zona tomorrow? Smallish park and hot hitters, but coming off a great start.

  13. Ed Nugent says:

    Fukodome or De Aza?

  14. Matt Damon says:

    @ Grey

    CC and Pence (both unkeepable) for Hanson in the 20th round. I’m in 1st place (5×5 roto) and up by 14 pts on 2nd place so I can take the hit for the final 3 weeks.

    Thank you sir.

  15. Jack says:

    “knocking seeds all over the field like an Amish farmer after a 12-pack of Red Bull.” That shizz is just too damned funny…

  16. Brew Crew says:

    1) Start or sit Cueto @ CHC (12 Team Roto – +31 IP)
    2) Drop Tabata in non keeper (Add Fukodome??)


  17. Wilsonian says:

    Drop Bourjos for:

    LoMo, Ibanez, Ludwick, ‘Dome, De Aza, Trout, Doumit?

    16 Team H2H, trying to lock up a solid roster when I start the playoffs next week. Have a 1st round bye right now, and can’t sit idly by.

  18. Lob Ball says:


    I’m looking for an OF that may provide RBIs and BA down the stretch:

    Nick Evans or Fukodome or Rios?

  19. Eng says:

    Damn that UGLY mofo Shelly Duncan

  20. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Lob Ball: Fukudome

    @Eng: He looks like Tackleberry.

  21. Brew Crew says:

    Not sure if my post showed up at #18:

    Start/Sit Cueto @CHC (12 Team ROTO)
    DROP Tabata (Non Keeper)

  22. ichirosan says:

    I completely lost it at the 3rd line

  23. batman the horse says:

    FYI, Football site’s RSS feed still doesn’t work.

  24. Patrick says:

    The references you sprinkle throughout these Roundups make my heart sing.

    “The Weekend” I had to read twice to make sure I didnt force that connection lol

  25. Buge Hoobs says:

    Kipnis or OHudson?

  26. chata says:


    kipnis … sounds like herring imported into tel aviv .

  27. Grey

    Grey says:

    @chata: It does make me hungry for a nosh.

  28. Pooch says:

    Have beachy and oswalt. Start both tonight vs. each other?

    Only really need ERA and Whip. Don’t need Ks or wins.

  29. Pooch says:

    @Pooch: Please ignore. Read your other responses.

  30. Steve says:

    @Grey: Morrow too risky against the Sawx?

  31. chata says:


    passing along some (useless) knowledge :

    pineda started the season @ 6’5″ … 230 lbs
    is now @ 6’7″ … 260 lbs

    sometimes forget how difficult it must be to find your groove while going through a growth spurt .

    me ?
    lost my groove a long time ago .

  32. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: Yeah

    @chata: Wow, really?

    On a separate note, it’s hot as dog balls in LA.

  33. Steve says:

    @Grey: @chata: I don’t see what the big deal is. I’ve got heavier as the season’s gone on too.

  34. Steve says:

    @Grey: Yikes, so I see.

    On a related note, my Dodgers hat arrived yesterday. Not really a fan, just love the hat (which explains why I got the Cards one with the bird on it too).

  35. TheNewGuy says:

    Which Montero for the rest of the season: Miggy or Jesus. Id prefer to go with Jesus’ upside/better lineup but will he play enough?

  36. Shin-Soo Choo Choo says:

    Moscoso’s got a no hitter going. And of course I’m facing him in H2H. Not sure why my opponent has him in a 10 team league, but that’s (fantasy) life.

  37. Eddy says:


    What do you think about Dempster at home v. CIN? I have Greinke (v.STL) and Jerome Williams (v.SEA) going.

    I’m leading all pitching categories, but I can’t afford a blow up.

    Worth a shot or no?

  38. Schmohawks Bob says:

    How get more saves ROS – Mujica or Nunez?

  39. Shin-Soo Choo Choo says:

    @Steve: Don’t think so. I sure hope no one in my league reads this site!

  40. Shin-Soo Choo Choo says:

    Moscoso’s no hit bid over. Good riddance.

  41. Steve says:

    Hands up anyone who is aware that the Rugby World Cup kicks off down here tomorrow night.

  42. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: Hey, someone above was saying the football feed is broke, could you check it on your end?

  43. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: My hand was down.

  44. Steve says:

    @Grey: I don;t really use RSS feeds, so I’m not sure if it’s broken or not, but I did subscribe via Google and the module that’s appeared on my iGoogle page shows three recent link – but not the newest one. Again – not sure if that constitutes ‘broken’.

    @Grey: Shame on you. The US are playing!

  45. Oilcan Giuseppe says:

    @Steve: the one thats just the bird on a bat?.Thats a great logo.Im a real hat nerd,I just bought the old Mariners hat w/ the trident M.

  46. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: I’m more of an Australian Rules Football guy. That doesn’t sound broken.

  47. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Oilcan Giuseppe: That trident M hat is a good one. I have the three B’s hat from the Birmingham Black Barons.

  48. chata says:


    “we have met the enemy and he is us” .

  49. Oilcan Giuseppe says:

    @Grey: the Negro league hats are great.I actually have an Atlanta Black Crackers hat,the one w/ just that weird A on it.

  50. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: I don’t remember the teams, but I used to watch them all the time back in the day. Not sure why they stopped playing in the US, unless they still do and I’ve been missing it.

    @Oilcan Giuseppe: Nice… Just Wiki’d Birmingham Black Barons and found out Willie Mays played for them as a teenager. Didn’t know that.

  51. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Oilcan Giuseppe: That hat’ll make you look like Thurston Howell, III.

  52. Steve says:

    @Grey: Melbourne people and their Aussie Rules is the very definition 0f obsessed.

  53. Oilcan Giuseppe says:

    @Grey: damn….I was going for JP Howell.

    Its not the sort of hat you wear a whole lot.Just kinda’ display it at home.Like people who have a bunch of big,thick books on a bookshelf but havent actually read them.

  54. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: Wish it was still on here…

    @Oilcan Giuseppe: Hey, I’m gonna read Atlas Shrugged one of these years!

  55. Steve says:

    @Grey: Yeah – I got in to it a while back. Used to be a live game on here every Sunday, really started following it.

    My three starters in H2H today? Moscoso, Happ and Jerome Williams. Can you tell it’s the playoffs?

  56. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: You had Moscoso? Nice… Those are good streamers.

  57. royce! says:

    @Steve: And you benched Morrow in the RCL. Well done!

  58. royce! says:

    @Grey: I think that rational egoism actually dictates that you never read Atlas Shrugged, so, in a sense, your continued refusal to read it actually confirms Rand’s philosophy. Also, that book sucks balls. So well done to you too!

  59. Steve says:

    @royce!: Yeah – finally I’m glad I didn’t start him. One of my few good decisions in that league of late.

    Nicely done on Moscoso. I started him on a couple of teams today.

  60. royce! says:

    @Steve: Yeah, we totally rule. I’ve been confident of that for a long time, but today really drove it home.

  61. Grey

    Grey says:

    @royce!: Exactly! (What you said.)

  62. Steve says:

    Double play now, Happ.

  63. royce! says:

    @Grey: You are clearly referring to my opinion that Steve and I rule. I appreciate your concurrence. Shows that you exercise very clear and perceptive judgment in matters of ruling.

    Kidding, yes, Atlas Shrugged…blech.

    I like to sprinkle Pynchon novels around the house. Makes me appear postmodern and very educated. Unfortunately, I actually have read them, and have no idea what happened in them (partially excusing this is that my being into Pynchon coincided with my being into weed). I intend to read them again, though!

  64. Steve says:

    @Steve: Hmmm. That wasn’t good.

    Ruined a stream start for me in the H2H playoffs, and made absolutely no difference to me in the league where I own the Dread Pirate.

  65. Steve says:

    Jesus Happ – just get out of the inning.

  66. royce! says:

    Speaking of Happ, I recently was thinking about what the Astros got for Oswalt, and what they turned that into, which led me to check on Anthony Gose, who had 70 SB in AA this year. But that’s not the point of this story. The point is there is a minor league catcher for the Phillies named Tuffy Gosewisch. I read that and expected him to have been born in 1893- not 1993.

  67. Terrence Mann says:

    Can’t wait to hear your version of Charlie Manuel’s take on Utley jogging to first after getting Plunk’d in the noggin.

    I wish I knew how to quit you.

  68. Oilcan Giuseppe says:

    @royce!: yeah,I have the portable Nietzsche in my bathroom.good light reading material.Course,thats also where I smoke my pot at.

  69. Oilcan Giuseppe says:

    another hit for Lawrie and a SB….this dude is definitely my hero and I will definitely be drafting him way too early next yr.

  70. Howard says:

    @Grey Minor or Teheran or both at Metco? H2H playoffs, need K’s, W (don’t we all!)

  71. royce! says:

    @Oilcan Giuseppe: the conflicts between the concepts of the will to power and eternal recurrence make me think that Freddy would have joined in with you…

  72. Steve says:

    It’s come to something when you can’t rely on Millwood to get clobbered in Coors.

  73. Steve says:

    @Steve: Ah. I’ve still got it.

  74. Steve says:

    Any chance the Angels can score some runs?

  75. Wilsonian says:

    If Utley is out, then I need a replacement. Stat! I’m in a battle for 1st place going into the playoffs. If I take 1st, I get my $50 entry fee back, so I want my money. Dammit. My only droppable guys are AJax and Hosmer.

    1) which guy do I drop?

    2) which guy do I pick up: Hill, J.Weeks, Ackely, Kelly Jo?

    I need power slightly more than steals, but hits in general never hurt.

  76. Steve says:

    C’mon Vern – make yourself useful.

  77. Steve says:

    Wow – not a bad comeback from Hernandez. Gave up 5 or something yesterday, perfect inning today.

  78. aj says:

    im in a 14 team keeper 5×5 roto. I get to keep three. Im looking to revamp my team for next year. Can you tell me if the following players would be 1st, 2nd or 3rd rounders next year.
    Joey Votto, Hanley Ramirez, Felix Hernandez, Josh hamilton, Kinsler, Longoria, Teixeira, Pence, Weaver

  79. Steve says:

    @Grey: Got a preference between Austin Jackson and Dee Gordon? Util spot in H2H…

  80. Grey

    Grey says:

    @royce!: Yeah, after I read them once, I will read them again too.

    @royce!: Tuffy! Ha!

    @Howard: Minor

    @Wilsonian: Jackson…Weeks…

    @aj: Votto, Tex, Longoria…

    @Steve: Gordon

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