Stephen Strasburg returned yesterday in case you’re living under a rock that doesn’t get the MLB package. Reminds me of a line Selig uses on his wife, “Hey, baby, wanna see the MLB package?” What can I say about Strasburg that hasn’t been said before? That he stinks. That hasn’t been said before. It’s also not true; probably why it hasn’t been said before. He can translate Pig Latin into Ancient Sumerian. That’s never been said before. Also, not true, but whatevs. If Strasburg is available in your league, I’m guessing you’re in a ten team league where it’s you vs. nine alias you made up. Hey, whatever it takes to win, right? But if he’s available, grab him. I imagine he’ll be fine this year if a bit more hype than is actually warranted. I mean, in roto leagues, is he really changing your ratios that are from 1300 innings with twenty of his own innings? No, probably not. Oh, and he threw five shutout innings in last night’s game. Yeah, he’s good. Well, that’s been said before. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Psyche! Before we jump into the roundup, just wanted to say our fantasy football site has been getting updated, but sometimes when you switch servers (as we did last week), it takes a bit for your browser to clear cache or cookies or something that I don’t fully understand. The site should be up to date now. If it’s not showing a post newer than last week, please tell me in the comments. Thanks, friend. Anyway II, the roundup:
Jason Kipnis – 1-for-3 in his return. Before his hammy/oblique injuries, he was knocking seeds all over the field like an Amish farmer after a 12-pack of Red Bull.
Kosuke Fukudome – When he gets hot, he gets scorching and he now has homers in two consecutive games. Roll out the red carpet! And I’m not referring to Joan from Mad Men.
Carlos Carrasco – Will miss all of 2012 with Tommy John surgery. A representative of the Mayans said, “You ain’t gonna miss anything.”
Shin-Soo Choo – Said he will return on September 13th. I don’t care. I mean, I care enough to not care, if that makes sense. Choo’s hurt me this year! My wounds are fresh! I’m thinking of taking him to small claims court where this Indians middle reliever, who came in after Hagadone, will be presiding.
Fausto Carmona – 1 1/3 IP, 7 ER. Seems odd to make a deal with the devil and tell him you don’t need his help after September 5th.
Drew Pomeranz – Will make his MLB debut on Sunday vs. the Reds. So why do you care? I’m not sure. Maybe you’re related to Pomeranz. Hey, Stew Pomeranz, thanks for reading! Pomeranz was a first round pick in 2010 and has a 1.78 ERA in his first 20 pro starts with a big time K-rate. But, and unless you’re an alien there’s always a but, he’s very young and will start his home games in Coors. In deep keepers, sure, take a flyer with him for your bench. Everyone else, I’d let the schmohawk in your league who wears a jersey of a team he doesn’t like to the draft to throw everyone off take the risk. You know, the guy too smart for his own good.
Rickie Weeks – Could return this weekend. Or The Weeknd, if you’re into R&B.
Rick Porcello – 6 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 1 K. You know what Porcello is good for? Inconsistency and no Ks. Sorry, sometimes the truth hurts, Rakim.
Brett Myers – 7 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 4 Hits, 6 Ks. Last time Myers had a four-hitter he ended up with a restraining order.
Jeff Niemann – 4 2/3 IP, 7 ER. Fellow -mann’s, Jordan and Horace, are none too impressed and neither am I. Frank Herrmann, “Don’t forget me!” Who are you?
C.J. Wilson – 9 IP, 0 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks. Remind me to never doubt a reliever turned starter. Seriously, make Kevin Gregg a starter and he’ll have a 2.00 ERA.
David Murphy – 4-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 9th homer. The other day I said something like Murphy goes through stretches where he should be owned in all leagues. And that’s me paraphrasing me!
Jon Lester – 7 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 11 Ks. Now has an ERA of 2.93 on the year and a 1.19 WHIP. Seems like he’s gotten so good that he’s taken for granted and forgotten when the best pitchers in baseball are talked about. Then again, I try not to watch ESPN, where they probably have 30 minute segments during each Sportscenter about Sawx pitchers.
Josh Beckett – Turns out he had an ankle sprain, then he didn’t have an ankle sprain and now he has one again. One thing he definitely doesn’t have is a decisive doctor. Beckett will miss one start and he’s downgrading Al Bumbry’s mint rookie card to a nickel in his baseball card magazine.
Marco Scutaro – 4-for-5, 4 RBIs, 2 runs. Now 7 for his last 12. Marco…Scutaro…Just pops up in the most unlikely places (when you close your eyes in a pool).
Mike Leake – 9 IP, 2 ER, 3 baserunners, 6 Ks. He was one out from a one-hitter shutout when LaHair moussed him.
Bobby Parnell – Gave up 2 runs as he blew the save, but the Mets went on to win the game. Doesn’t it seem that when a team rallies after a blown save that the team is less inclined to worry about the closer blowing the game originally? Maybe it’s just confirmation bias. (<–Thanks, Psych 101!)
Jorge Posada – 1-for-3 with his 13th homer as Jesus sat, which is nowhere near as hip as Jesus walks.
Brett Gardner – 1-for-3 with his 7th homer and 43rd steal for the slam & legs. He’s obviously nowhere as valuable as Ellsbury this year, but I still have my delusions that he can be one of these years.
Alex Rios – 1-for-4 with a homer and he’s batting .455 in the last week. If he got hot for the final three weeks it wouldn’t shock me. Whatever he can do to pull the wool over people’s eyes for next year he’ll do it. I can see it now. Random Commenter in March, “Hey, Grey, what do you think of Rios? While he was one of the worst players and human beings for five months, he was good last September.”
Jason Motte – Salas pitched in the 7th inning and Motte got the save. The closer role has been clinched!…Then Motte gave up a run. So I’d look at Motte first, but there’s no way of knowing which way the wind’s going to blow La Russa’s feathered locks.
Dee Gordon – 3-for-5 with his 16th steal. I guess you don’t need steals. Must be nice being like the little Monopoly man with steals hanging out of your tuxedo. Ooh, look at me, I have Boardwalk and Park Place and steals.
Vance Worley – 6 IP, 2 ER, 10 baserunners, 6 Ks. ERA is now 2.86 on the year and his record is 11-1. Good enough to make a Philly fan puke on someone. In a good way.
Brad Lincoln – 6 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks. Back in June when he was first called up, I made him a Buy. You can look it up! Since then, haven’t really talked about him. He now has a 3.53 ERA in 35 2/3 innings with a 1.18 WHIP and he’s been much better as a starter than a long reliever as the Pirates used him for a bit. His Ks are a bit pedestrian and he grew his beard because some letter written by an 11-year-old. You are your own boss, Lincoln! I could see streaming him for the reminder of the season with the right matchups.
Ryan Doumit – 1-for-4 with a homer. On Monday, he went 3-for-4. Ryan Without-Mitt usually can hit; he can’t usually stay healthy. That’s his caveat for our Latin American readers.